The horse slowed as Rose pulled the rig up to Elise’s house. Snow continued to fall, and the gray and white of winter yielded to the pretty Christmas lights and decorations that seemed to fill Elise’s property. Her friend’s house looked like a picture from an Englischer Christmas magazine. Strings of multicolored lights wound around the gutters and chimney, and several inflatable characters—snowmen, reindeer, and Santa Claus—waved side to side with the wind. Flashing lights in the shape of icicles hung off the porch. The large cherry tree in the front yard, which in a few months would have its own natural adornment of blooms, had hundreds of lights wrapped around its trunk and branches. Grace sat on the anchored booster seat, covered in a wool blanket, looking out the frosty window.
“Oooh!” Grace clapped her hands. “Look, she has new blow-up snowmen.”
“Ya, she does.”
Every year Elise and her family expanded their outdoor Christmas decorations. Elise once said her husband made it his yearly quest to delight their children with new outdoor Christmas surprises, even though it took several days to set them up and take them down.
Elise was Joel’s age and the only veterinarian for miles, but she had scaled back her work after her first child was born. When needed, she filled in for the vet in Hinton, and she tended to the Amish community’s livestock.
From the first time Rose met her, she knew they had the potential to become good friends. But she’d never expected them to get as comfortable with each other as they had. Rose pulled the rig under the shelter and helped Grace out. She then tossed a blanket over the horse, removed the bridle, and replaced it with a harness.
“Look, Mama!” Grace had hurried to the inflatables and was squishing a scarf-wearing penguin and laughing.
“Careful,” Rose warned. Just how much punishment could the penguin take?
“Don’t worry,” Elise’s voice carried from somewhere. “Skipper has proved himself quite hearty. My girls haven’t destroyed that penguin in three years.” Elise stood in the doorway of her home, waving at Grace and Rose while pulling on boots. Most people would wait inside where it was warm, but not Elise. “Did I know you were coming this morning and forgot?”
“No. Is it okay?”
“Love it.” Her friend continued walking toward her until they met on the lawn. She ran a hand through her straight blond hair, pulling it out of her coat, and then covered her head with the hood. “Saves me time. My mom picked up the girls a few minutes ago so I could go shopping without them. I was planning to come by your place in a bit, hoping to convince you and Miss Grace to go shopping with me.”
Rose had forgotten the Englisch got at least two weeks off from school over the holidays. Since Christmas Eve and Day took place on the weekend this year, her boys would be off only the day after Christmas for the tradition of Second Christmas. That was it.
“Ya, we’ll go.” Why not get some shopping done while they visited? “I just need to borrow your cell so I can leave a message for Joel, and we’ll have to be back to pick the boys up from school.” Although shopping together would be fun, maybe she should ask if they could just stay at Elise’s house, given the sensitive and rather embarrassing subjects she wanted to talk about.
Elise passed her cell to Rose before holding out her hand to Grace. “Any little girls out here who’d like to see a litter of pups?”
“Me!” Grace ran to Elise and grabbed her hand. The three of them went toward the barn.
“Another rescue mission?” Rose scrolled through Elise’s short list of favorites until she came to her own name.
“Yeah, the MacDonalds brought them to me yesterday. They were headed back from Lewisburg and found them in a box alongside the road. With it being Christmas, surely we can find homes for all of them.”
Rose nodded, pressed the Call button, and left a message on the machine. She and Elise fed the livestock while Grace played with the pups, and then after the hour drive they pulled into the mall parking lot. Rose repeatedly tried to approach Elise with the things on her mind, but her mouth had yet to cooperate with her will. How did Joel put up with such nonsense? Her chest tightened, and a smile threatened to break free. He didn’t just put up with it. He loved her.
They rented a fire-engine stroller to contain Grace, and with only two snack breaks, they had everything Elise needed within ninety minutes.
Elise held up the bags. “See, you are good at this.”
“Give me other people’s money, and I have no trouble spending it.” Rose had bought a few things too, items Joel would want her to get for the children for Christmas.
“So let’s talk. What’s going on?”
Rose pointed at Grace. “This little one is a mimic. We need to distract her.”
“There’s a cute indoor playground on the level below us. We could stop and get some hot tea at the shop next to it and talk while Grace plays.”
Rose nibbled her lip. “I can’t go home without answers. I just can’t.”
“Come on, then. Let’s go talk.” Elise pushed Grace’s fire engine, laden with the small child and all the shopping bags, toward the tea shop.
Several minutes later Rose and Elise sat at a small table, one of twenty tables that were positioned strategically around the children’s play area. The playground was geared to give little ones five and under a place to burn off energy during a shopping trip with their parents. Soft-foam climbing structures were shaped like a caterpillar, mushrooms, and a race car, and a slide was designed to look like a waterfall. Grace had already made a friend and was running and playing chase with her.
Rose tasted her “fancy tea,” as Elise called it. “Well. You were right about how Joel sees Gertie. I was worrying over nothing.”
“Of course I was right.” Elise flashed her a smile and a wink. “I know Joel well enough, and he’s one of the good guys. Added to that, he loves you.”
“I…think he does. I mean, you’ve been saying that, but today he said it.”
“Yes!” Elise raised her fist into the air. “Yes! I knew it. Come on. Tell me more.”
“He…he…seems to find me attractive.”
Elise leaned in closer and gestured up and down at Rose. “And why wouldn’t he? Look at you!”
Rose’s cheeks burned. She raised her hands to cover them until the flush left her face. “I don’t know about that.” She shrugged. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt attractive in my life, except…”
One of Elise’s eyebrows raised in interest. “Except…”
“Well, sometimes when Joel and I are alone in the living room, sitting on the couch with candle lights flickering or a fire in the hearth, we talk for hours, and then after all has been said, he wraps his arm so gently around my shoulders…” Rose couldn’t figure a way to describe these particular feelings.
Elise arched her brows. “I knew I liked that man. He’s got moves. So tell me, what’s the holdup on sleeping with him?”
Rose closed her eyes, trying to gain some composure. Leave it to Elise to jump straight to the matter without any embarrassment.
“It’s complicated.” Rose took a breath to steady her emotions. “Lots of mixed emotions swirling inside me.”
“Pick the one that scares you the most.”
“I don’t know, honestly. I guess I’m afraid he’ll be disappointed.” She lowered her eyes to her teacup. “He and Florence had such a connection. What if he compares me to her and I don’t measure up? What if he regrets taking our relationship to that physical level but feels pressured to keep going ahead with it? What if he never feels anything with me that compares to what he felt with Florence? They had years together, and I’m a second-class wife he’s learned to love.” She raised her eyes.
Elise stared at her. She blinked several times. “First, ‘pressured to keep going ahead’ with making love? Usually not a man’s problem. And second, is your lack of self-confidence a bottomless pit?”
Rose sighed. “Ya, pretty much.”
Elise leaned forward and put her hands around Rose’s. “He wants to build a life with you. He’s being honest with how he feels about you. That’s enough, for Pete’s sake. Stop second-guessing what he wants or what he’s thinking. Stop being terrified.” Elise grinned, giving her a wicked look. “Actually, it’s time to open up, girl. Seduce the poor man, which should take you all of five minutes after the kids are asleep. Hey, you remember our conversation about the birds and the bees and what to do to avoid pregnancy?”
Rose’s cheeks flushed again. This is why she wanted to talk to Elise, to hear her friend’s candid thoughts about such topics, but in this moment she wished they were in a more private setting.
“Ya. Shh.” Rose covered her lips with her index finger.
“I’m not being loud, and no one’s paying any attention to our conversation. It’s shop ’til you drop here. You’re just being self-conscious. What I’m saying is that if you surprise him with an ounce of boldness, he won’t be thinking of anyone but you. And he won’t forget that night, ever.”
Was that true? Could it be possible for her, a woman of twenty-five with zero experience in that department, to give the man she loves a true night to remember?
“Oh.” Elise’s eyes lit up. “Let’s give Grace another few minutes to play while we finish our tea. Then I have an idea of just where to begin to help you feel more confident.”
“Hmm?” Rose pulled from her thoughts.
Elise gestured at a store across from them. The boutique sign said Lavender’s, and the mannequins in the window were dressed in undergarments and nightgowns. Rose shook her head.
“I don’t think I can do that.”