Joel hadn’t moved since his Daed and Preacher Thomas left. His eyes were fixed on the same space on the wall. If he knew what to pray for, he would. The right moment to talk to Rose? For her to hear what he was saying, that never in a million years would he want her to go? That the bishops and preachers had no say in their love for each other?
Could they make Rose move out? She loved Mose, Levi, and Grace as if they were hers, so the worst-case scenario would be that his wife changed her mind about being intimate with him, and the marriage would be annulled because they were living outside the church’s mandate for wedded couples. Maybe the mandates from the church were a real issue, but Joel wondered if the problem stemmed from Daed being the bishop. His Daed feared that he’d used his position of influence and power to force a desperate young woman to take a forever vow. But even if the worst happened and they annulled the marriage, Joel believed Rose would live nearby so the children could be a part of her days. Maybe he’d have to court her as a young single man would. It seemed absurd, but he wasn’t above jumping through hoops if it meant having a “real” marriage with Rose.
His legs tingled, objecting to his staying in one place for so long. What time was it?
He looked at the mantel clock, but something seemed off. No doubt he’d been sitting here for hours, but the clock was stuck on 8:30, about the time Rose left with the children.
A spark ignited inside him, like a lighter finally creating a flame, a source of enough heat to get him out of his chair. He walked to the clock, picked it up, and went straight out the front door and to his workshop. He opened the round, brass backing. An array of fitted parts stared back at him—a back plate, a series of cogs, the pendulum, the gear train, and main springs, among other pieces. As with a good marriage, each piece had to fit in order for things to run smoothly. Each cog worked in succession with the one next to it, and that kept the pendulum moving properly so the clock kept time.
It had quit four years ago within hours of Florence’s passing, and he had fixed it later that week. In the years since it had worked perfectly, never giving him any more trouble—until now. The muscles in his shoulders tightened, and the tension moved up the back of his neck. He had to get it working again.
He pulled out the inner workings and tested each cog to see what the problem was. When the mainspring seemed fine, he returned his attention to the cogs. He heard a carriage pull onto the driveway, and when he glanced up, his children were running toward the house. School was out already? How long had he been tinkering with the clock? He returned his focus to it.
“Joel?” Rose called as she walked into the shop. “Hey.”
“The mantel clock stopped again. Did you know it wasn’t working?”
She moved closer. “It was working fine yesterday.” She held up small brown shopping bags. “I bought Christmas decorations for the house. I know we can’t put up too much. But I bought some scented candles, greenery to go around them, and a string of lights that I thought would go well in the new room. The lights are battery powered, and I know we aren’t supposed to have them up, but we can keep it between ourselves, right?”
He recognized how excited she sounded, more excited than she’d been in a long while, but all he could think about was fixing the clock. He fixated on one tiny cog that wasn’t connecting to any other cogs. What would’ve caused that to shift?
“Joel?”
It was then he realized what she had asked. “Ya, I think the lights will be fine.” Whatever Rose wanted, he would give it to her. What he most wanted to give her was complete ignorance about the annulment discussion. Would that be dishonest of him? He’d found the issue with the cog that wasn’t turning. The pivot was loose, and the cog had shifted.
“Something wrong?”
The excitement in her voice had died down, and he looked up. “Sorry. The clock isn’t working again.”
The timing had him spooked. It had quit when he lost Florence. But it wasn’t rational to feel this uptight over a timepiece.
Rose set the bags on the floor. “What did your Daed and that preacher want?”
He should’ve already thought about what he would tell her. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?”
The words weren’t coming to him. He put the pointed slant tweezers in the gap between two cogs. “Just needed to talk about some things Erma brought up to Daed.”
Silence. Joel tried to ease the cog into place, praying he was doing this right. What did he know about clock repair?
“That explains you being out here alone, mumbling to yourself. Did you make plans with them about working on the bedroom?”
“Not yet.” How was he going to keep such a secret from her? He had just opened up and told her how he felt, and now he had to hide the truth again? “It may need to wait. We have to consider the men’s schedules with it being Christmas in five days. And you and I haven’t even finished the big present for the children.”
It was mostly done, but he would need at least four more hours to complete it. He and Rose had made a two-story wooden barn, eighteen inches tall and two feet long, with a split-rail fence to create a barnyard. The doors and gates all opened, and he’d bought a set of beautifully carved horses, cows, and chickens from an Amish friend. The children would spend endless hours playing with it in the living room, especially in the long winter months. He treasured that kind of time with his family and Rose by his side. But what kind of tension would fill the coming evenings as he held back his father’s announcement?
The crinkling of paper drew him from his thoughts. Rose held out a box to him. “I got something for you. An early Christmas present.”
Joel took a breath and looked up from the clock. “Did you?”
She opened it and looped her slender fingers through a pair of silky black straps and then lifted a short, lacy gown from the box.
His heart cinched. She was being vulnerable and sweet. “I…uh…don’t know how to break this to you, but I don’t think it will fit me.”
Rose laughed. She lifted his chin, leaned down, and pressed her lips against his. Joel stood and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her, wishing this moment was free of secrets.
She lowered her head. “Wow.”
“Ya. Wow.” He should’ve told her sooner how he felt. Maybe then they wouldn’t be in this fix.
She rested her head on his chest.
“I love you, Rose.”
She shifted, putting her lips near his ear. “After the children are asleep, I could show you how well this fits me.”
Joel took a deep breath. What could he say? “Well…”
Rose pulled back, looking in his eyes, and he saw her confusion and unmistakable hurt. “You’re hesitant?”
“About us, no. I promise. I just feel I should finish the room. Our bedroom.” He tried to pull her back into the embrace.
“Okay.” Rose dropped the nightgown into the bag, leaving the box on the workbench. She gathered the other shopping bags and left without another word. Joel sat there alone with a broken clock and a box marked “Lavender’s.”
He focused on the workings of the clock again, picking up the tweezers and putting them right where the problem cog was. He applied gentle pressure, but the cog didn’t move. Frustrated, he put some muscle into making the cog connect properly.
The cog snapped and flew out, leaving a gap where Joel had been working.