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Early the next morning, Marla sat in the kitchen at the table. She made a cup of coffee, but it wasn’t as savory as usual. Her stomach was sour, and she had barely slept through the night. Thoughts raced around in her head from the events of the night before, to moving out of the house, to quitting her job, to the lake house. Her emotions were in overdrive, and she vacillated between hurt, indignation, and shame. Charlie didn’t love her anymore, her marriage had failed, and she couldn’t help but feel partially responsible for it. Shame had become a learned part of her character from her years with her father. Anger for her father arose in her stomach. Why couldn’t he have been more loving? Why did he have to take his grief over her mother out on her all of those years? She slammed both fists onto the table, spilling her coffee. She wanted to lash out at him and Charlie, to say what she needed to say, to relieve herself of the painful emotions. But it wouldn’t be possible. Her father had passed away a year earlier from cirrhosis of the liver. He had drunk himself to death. And Charlie, well, he just plain didn’t care anymore, not to mention his new woman. Marla would have to settle for her current reality. Emotions would have to stay and fester until they became distant memories. That could take a lifetime.
At eight o’clock, Marla called Marcus, and after some brief small talk announced, “I have some bad news. Charlie is having an affair, and he wants a divorce.”
“What? Oh, Marla, I’m so sorry. This is terrible news. What will you do? Is there any chance you two could try to work things out?”
“No, it’s irreparable. He wants me out of the house by the end of the week. He is moving on, he says. Besides, I can never trust him again,” she said as she tried to hold back tears.
“What can I do to help you?” Marcus asked.
“Thank you, but nothing. There isn’t anything anyone can do. I’ve just got to move on, too,” she replied.
“Where will you go?” He asked.
“Well, I don’t know if it’s coincidental or answered prayer, but I’ve inherited my grandparents’ lake house in Alabama. I honestly think that is the best place for me,” she replied.
“Alabama? You mean you’re leaving?” He asked, sounding wounded.
“Sorry, Marcus, but I think it’s the right thing for me right now. I need to get away and start over. I’ll get a job at an ER there. I hope you can understand.”
Marcus was quiet for a few seconds, but then he responded, “I get it. I don’t want to lose you, but I understand. You have to do what’s best for you, and I know this is a tough time for you right now. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.”
“Thank you, Marcus, I really appreciate your friendship.”
Marla resigned from her position at the Cincinnati Hospital and discussed exit specifics with Marcus. Although he still tried to convince her to stay, she was resolved to leave, and he could hear it in her voice. When he could see that his arguments for her staying didn’t matter to her, he finally agreed that she could use a fresh start somewhere else.
Now, on a mission, Marla moved into business mode. Her next phone call was to the Stanton and Stanton Law Firm. After confirming that she had received the letter, she arranged to stop by their office to sign paperwork and retrieve the key to the lake house. The drive to their office in Louisville was an hour and a half, but she was glad the office wasn’t further away. Her last phone call was to a moving company. The only furniture she would be taking was the grandfather clock. She arranged to have the movers pick up the clock the following morning. She sent Charlie a text to expect movers for the grandfather clock in the morning at ten o’clock. It did not surprise her that he didn’t respond, even though she could see that he read the text.
That was it. There was no one else to call. She realized how pitiful her life had become. The only “friend” she had made while married to Charlie was Marcus, and he was more of a colleague. All of her social activity had been filtered through Charlie. She had gone to his work events, his parties, and his dinners. Although she had many acquaintances, she really had no friends. I have nothing here. Shaking her head back-and-forth, she asked herself again, “How did I get here?”
After running her errands, she spent the afternoon packing her clothes and toiletries. In the kitchen, she warmed a cup of tomato soup, though she wasn’t hungry. While sipping her soup, she went online and forwarded her mail to the lake house. After drinking down half a cup of soup, she discarded the rest in the sink. She opened the cabinets to look through them and decided to take some of her pots and baking pans with her. Baking had kept her company during many lonely nights. These pots and pans had afforded her some comfort, as she had used them to cook warm meals or bake savory desserts for herself.
The drive to Guntersville would take about six hours. The sky was gray with intermittent bursts of cold rain, matching her disposition. Since it was already three o’clock in the afternoon, she reasoned that she should wait until morning to leave. As she walked into the bedroom to pack her clothes, she stared at the bed. Her gut ached with heaviness, and the thought of staying in Charlie’s house another night made her feel nauseated. She couldn’t stay.
She decided to pack her Jeep and head out. She was thankful she had opted to buy a more practical vehicle than Charlie had. He complained about the Jeep every time he saw it in the garage. Charlie had refined taste and preferred his seven hundred series BMW. He could have his fancy car for all she cared. Kayla probably felt like a princess being carted around like royalty in that big tank. Marla exhaled deeply, nauseated at the thought of her husband with another woman.
She loaded a few more items into the Jeep and was thankful that it was roomy enough to accommodate everything she packed. Another great thing about the Jeep was that it was paid for. It was older and had miles of wear and tear, but it had been a dependable vehicle for her. Count your blessings, she thought. When the Jeep was packed, and it was time for her to leave, it was five o’clock. That should put me in Guntersville around eleven o’clock. She stood by the kitchen door and turned to survey the kitchen one last time. The kitchen table where she and Charlie had eaten many meals stared back at her. There had been some good memories in this kitchen. At the beginning of the marriage, many of their meals had involved heartfelt talks. Sometimes they had just sipped coffee and talked about their day, their dreams, and what they hoped for their future together. Charlie had once loved her, but now there was an empty, loveless void in her heart. She could feel a heavy ache in her stomach as she knew this was her farewell to the life she had once loved with Charlie. This was it. She would never return to this place. Just like her childhood home, this place would become another painful memory, one she would never see again.
She forced herself to casually slip out the door, leaving her key under the mat on the back deck. This was not going to turn into a dramatic exit. With a numbness in each step, she walked to her Jeep, started the engine, and pulled out of the driveway. Purposely diverting her eyes away from the rear-view mirror, she drove off. She would not look back. It was time for a fresh start.