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The following day, around eleven o’clock, there was a knock at the door. Marla had been up for a while and was feeling stronger. She had showered and dressed and had even done some light cleaning. She opened the door to find Micah standing there. Her heart leaped in her chest, though she concealed her delight. “You don’t give up easily, do you?”
He smiled. “I was hoping you would start to see me that way.”
“What are you doing here?”
“Could we please talk?”
Marla stepped back and opened the door to let him in.
Micah stepped inside the living room.
“Have a seat,” she said.
Micah sat down on the couch. “Are you sad that you missed Christmas?”
Marla shrugged her shoulders. “Yeah, a little.”
“I know it’s your favorite time of year.”
Marla nodded. She was tired of small talk and asked, “What do you want to talk about?”
Micah exhaled loudly, picked up the remote control to the TV, and fidgeted with it. “I need to talk to you about us.”
Marla took a deep breath. “Micah, I understand that you’ve had a change of heart since my sickness. I get too emotional when we talk about us. It’s like I told you in the hospital. I don’t think I can do this again.”
“I understand. I just want to tell you some things. I’m not here to beg you for a second chance. I’m here to make sure you understand what has changed. I’ve realized a lot of things, and I want to share them with you.”
“Okay.”
“When you first had your epiphany that Allie was the woman you tried to save in the ER, you felt like you had to tell me, right?”
“Yes, I couldn’t keep that from you and still feel right about us.”
“It was not only shocking for me to hear that you were the doctor who tried to resuscitate my wife, but it was also hard to hear that she had left me a message ... a message that I didn’t get until the day you told me. That was three years after she died.”
Marla nodded. “I know that all of it was overwhelming. My heart ached for you.”
Micah continued, “You told me that Allie told you to tell me that she loved me and that I should love again.”
Marla nodded again.
“She told me to love again.”
“Yes.”
“She was giving me permission to love again. She wanted me to fall in love again.”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m just saying that I initially felt so much guilt about not being there when she died or hearing this message until three years later, that I didn’t think it was fair for me to love you. I’ve worked through that, and I can see that it’s okay—that she wanted me to fall in love again.”
Marla started to speak, “Micah, I’m glad that you’ve worked through that, but—”
He interrupted her. “But I also need to clarify something else. I told you that when I looked at you, I would always see Allie.”
“Yes, that won’t work for me. I need my own special love, someone who sees me when he looks at me, not someone from his past.”
“I agree with you. When you were sick, and I thought I might lose you forever, I took comfort in the fact that you were there for Allie when she died. There is no kinder, gentler person I know who I would have wanted with her. I realize that you were the person God wanted with her. He put you there that day so you could ease her pain and show her kindness. So, now when I think of her dying, I am grateful to God that you were there for her. I honestly believe that Allie brought us together in a weird sort of way. I mean, how crazy is our story?”
Marla could feel her heart beginning to race. She liked what Micah had to say, and she wanted to believe him. But would he still see Allie when he looked at her? Could she trust him? She asked, “How can I believe you?”
Micah stood up and walked over to her. He took her hands in his. “You just have to believe that I’m telling you the truth, that I’m speaking from my heart, and that I would never do anything to hurt you.”
Marla’s lips started to quiver. “Please, Micah, I’m just not sure. Give me some time.”
Micah pursed his lips. His eyes began to water, and he nodded. Leaning forward, he kissed her cheek and released her hand. “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
He walked toward the door, opened it, and closed it behind him.
Tears ran down Marla’s face as he left. She prayed. God, I want to believe him. Help me. Please show me a sign that he can be trusted.