Today is supposed to be my wedding day. Instead we’ve put it back a fortnight to give Haven time to recover. The arson squad are at the house, trying to find out what happened. Haven remembered it started in the lounge room so that’s where they’re concentrating their efforts. I’m running on adrenaline today. No sleep last night plus the fire have put me on edge today, though I’m trying to be patient for Haven and Milly’s sake.

Between the mums, Sarah and I, we’ve rearranged the wedding with little bother. The caterers were the hardest, as they had already started cooking but they are gonna freeze what they can, and start again next time. We even managed to get the honeymoon put back two weeks.

The police have done their investigation and it looks like something was thrown through the front window to start the fire. No leads yet on who it was but there are tyre tracks which they hope will give them a break in the case. It’s hard to think of my house as a ‘case’ but that’s what it is now. I’ve had to deal with the insurance company who will pay to rebuild now that I’ve been cleared as a suspect. I’ve dealt with the police, the arson squad and nosy neighbours who should know better.

I’ve dealt with them all willingly so that Haven doesn’t have to think about anything but getting better. She needs to be better in two weeks so that I can marry her. It’s like the universe is against it, but one way or another it’s gonna happen.

It has to. There’s no way I’ll accept anything less.

“Milly help me with the groceries please.” I call as she gets down from the car. We’re staying at Haven’s house temporarily till we have a new one at the farm. It could be months away yet. I doubt I’m finished jumping through their hoops.

I feel a bit lost here without Haven but I want to make sure everything is ready for her once she leaves hospital. Not sure if that will be today or tomorrow but they did say last night she was making good progress so they doubt she’ll need the intubation. Thank god for small mercies.

Once the groceries are put away, I take Milly to the hospital to visit Haven.

“Hey there’s our girl.” I say as we walk through the door into her room. Milly runs to the bed and climbs up to sit next to Haven. She still has the oxygen cannulas in her nose but she has some colour in her cheeks and looks a lot brighter. She’s still coughing but she tells me that’s a good thing. It’s helping to clear the soot from her lungs. She’s speaking much better between coughing bouts which have calmed overnight. I lean in to kiss her forehead as she does the same to Milly. I watch as she wraps her arm around her and squeezes tight, reassuring her she’s okay.

I find the nurse and ask her if the doctor has seen her yet. I don’t want Haven to speak too much so it’s better I don’t ask her. The nurse assures me that the doctor’s happy with her progress overnight and if all goes well she should be allowed to go home tomorrow.

I relay the news to Milly who claps her hands in joy as Haven smiles. We spend most of the day with her only leaving to eat and then return. By seven thirty I can see them both flagging so I take Milly to Mum’s and put her to bed there. I go back to the hospital and just sit beside her bed as she sleeps. There’s not much more I can do but this is helping me more than it’s helping her. I just need to be here – to be close. I don’t have to say a word, I just need to feel her hand in mine to confirm that she’s still here and still mine. I stay till they kick me out at midnight, then I go home to her bed and toss and turn all night despite the lack of sleep the night before.

Haven comes home on the proviso that she rests up for the next week. Luckily Dad’s taking over the harvesting so I can spend time helping her recover. She gets short of breath doing the smallest thing so I need to make sure she doesn’t do anything. I carry her from the bed to the shower, then to the couch for the day. Over the next few days her strength increases, and she’s able to do more for herself.

The police arrive one morning informing us they think they have a suspect. Turns out that the tyre tracks were matched to a hire car in the name of John Smith. Haven and I look at each other with confusion. The name means nothing to us. But the police officer continues to tell us that that John Smith left some DNA evidence in the car and they’ve traced it to Haven’s ex brother-in-law.

Ryan’s brother.

As soon as he says this it all makes perfect sense. He would be the only person in the world to carry a grudge for so long. He threatened her after Ryan’s death and we thought he had disappeared from her life. Obviously not. They think he’s been flying from Melbourne to Esperance regularly, causing trouble. They’ve issued a warrant for his arrest on two counts of arson, and assault. If he arrives back again they’ll be alerted, but they’ve passed it on to the Victorian Police now to deal with.