CHAPTER 41
“He kissed you?”
Ben looked at Josh in astonishment. They were sitting in the kitchen, having coffee and blueberry muffins that Ben had just pulled from the oven.
Josh nodded. “And then he took off,” he said. “I didn’t even have a chance to say anything.”
“Was he drunk?” Ted asked. “That would explain it.”
Ben waved a hand at him. “Just because you were drunk the first time you kissed a man doesn’t mean everyone has to be,” he said.
“He wasn’t drunk,” Josh said. “At least I don’t think so. He seemed fine.”
“I always said that boy had it in him,” said Ben happily.
“Let’s not get all excited now,” Ted told him sternly. “We don’t know what got into Reilly.”
“I do,” replied Ben. “He decided he’d had enough of pussy.” He made a face. “Nasty,” he added.
Josh sighed. “It’s just so weird,” he said. “And now I don’t know what to do.”
“What do you want to do?” asked Ben.
Josh leaned back in his chair and groaned. “I don’t know,” he said miserably. “I guess I want him to do it again.”
“Then tell him,” Ben said instantly.
“Do not tell him,” Ted countered. He tapped Ben lightly on the wrist with his spoon. “You’re causing trouble,” he told his lover.
“The trouble has already been caused,” said Ben. “I’m just trying to clarify things.”
“What you’re trying to do is butt in,” Ted warned.
Ben ignored him, turning back to Josh. “Have you seen him since the Fourth?”
Josh shook his head. “He hasn’t been here all week,” he said. “I think he’s avoiding me.”
“Of course he is,” said Ted. “He made a mistake. He’s embarrassed.”
Ben gave Ted a stern look. “And what makes you think he made a mistake?” he demanded.
Ted rubbed his forehead, as if Ben’s voice were giving him a headache. “He’s engaged,” he said, as if explaining to a child why it was a bad idea to run with scissors.
“Oh, I see,” Ben said sarcastically. “I’m sorry. I forgot that men who are engaged aren’t allowed to kiss other men.”
“You are such an old queen,” Ted said, laughing softly. “Look, I know you think it would be the most wonderful thing in the world if Reilly turned out to be gay. But I don’t think it’s going to happen.”
“Well, excuse me for being the only romantic around here,” said Ben. “But if you ask me,” he said to Josh, “there’s no harm in trying.”
Josh picked at his muffin. “This summer is just weird all the way around,” he said. “First the thing with Doug, then Jackie asking for my sperm and this producer liking my book. Now this.”
“That’s Provincetown,” Ben informed him. “It likes to shake people up.”
“I thought it was supposed to be quiet here,” said Josh.
Ted laughed. “That’s what the town wants you to think,” he said. “But really it’s just waiting for you to let your guard down.”
“Oh, and I didn’t tell you about the kid,” Josh continued. “The one from the party.”
“You didn’t kiss him too, did you?” asked Ben.
“No,” replied Josh. “I think that’s the last thing he needs. But he does need a job, and I was wondering if you guys could use any help around here.” He told them about Toby, and what had happened to him at the other house. “What do you think?” he asked when he was finished.
Ben looked at Ted, who shrugged. “Why not?” Ted said. “We’re booked through Labor Day. We can always use another pair of hands.”
“Thanks,” Josh said. “I’ll have him come over later today and meet you. He seems like a good kid.”
He stood up. “And now I’m going to go work on this script,” he said. “Thanks for the coffee and the advice.”
He left Ben and Ted at the table and returned to the cottage. He’d met with Reid Truman a few days earlier, and Reid had given him some ideas on turning his novel into a script. Josh had promised to work something up to show him, but so far all he’d managed to get down was the title. Writing scripts, he’d discovered, was no easier than writing novels.
He sat down and tried to concentrate on his computer screen. But his eyes kept moving from the screen to the hammer sitting on the coffee table. Reilly had left it behind on his last visit to the house. Josh had been waiting for him to return, so he could give it to him, but now it was collecting dust.
I could return it to him, he thought. I mean, he might need it.
It was a stupid excuse, and he knew it. But he ignored that fact and snatched the hammer from the table, leaving the house before he could change his mind. Getting into his car, he drove toward town. He had no idea where Reilly might be, but he went anyway, thinking he might see his truck parked somewhere.
He found it outside a hardware store. Parking his car, he got out and went into the store, carrying the hammer with him. Inside, he wandered the aisles until he saw Reilly. He was halfway down the tool aisle, looking intently at the wall.
“Can I interest you in this fine hammer?” asked Josh, walking up to him nervously.
Reilly looked at him with an unreadable expression, but didn’t say anything.
Josh waved the hammer at him. “You left it at the house,” he said.
“Oh,” said Reilly, making no move to take the hammer from Josh. “Thanks. I’ve been looking for that. Actually, I was just about to buy another one.”
“Now you don’t have to,” Josh said, putting the hammer in Reilly’s hand. “Bye now.”
He turned to walk away, but Reilly reached out and touched his shoulder. “Wait,” he said.
Josh turned around. Reilly looked at him. “I’m really sorry,” he said. “About what happened.”
“It’s okay,” Josh told him. “You were probably drunk.”
Reilly looked at the floor and moved the hammer from one hand to the other. “I wish I had been,” he said. “Then I’d have an excuse.”
“Really,” Josh told him. “It’s okay. You don’t need an excuse. It just happened. Now it’s over. Forget about it.”
He didn’t know why he was practically forcing a way out on Reilly. Hadn’t he just told Ben that what he really wanted was for Reilly to kiss him again? So then why was he acting as if it didn’t matter? He didn’t know.
“No,” Reilly said. “I owe you an explanation. I just . . .” He stopped, looking around the store as if perhaps there were a sign somewhere that would tell him what to say next, a list of step-by-step directions for dealing with the situation hung beside the ones for creating faux marble finishes and grouting a bathtub.
“You just did it,” Josh said, finishing the sentence for him. “That’s all.”
Reilly looked at him. His eyes were sad, all the life drained from them so that he looked worn out and in desperate need of sleep. “Yeah,” he said, nodding resignedly. “I just did it.”
Josh nodded. “Okay then,” he said. “I guess I’ll see you around the house.”
This time he didn’t give Reilly a chance to call him back. He walked out of the store as quickly as he could, almost knocking over a display of rakes in his hurry to get out the door. He was opening his car door to get in when Reilly came running down the steps.
“I didn’t just do it,” he said as Josh paused, his fingers on the handle. “I wanted to do it.”
Josh let go of the handle and slipped his hands into the pockets of his shorts. “So why then?” he asked hesitantly.
“I don’t know,” Reilly answered. “No, I do know. It was the fireworks.”
Josh cocked his head. “The fireworks? What, they made you go temporarily insane or something?”
“I liked sparklers the best too,” said Reilly. “I know that sounds completely stupid. But when you said that, all I could think about was how right at that moment I wanted to be with someone who knew what that was like, that feeling of being totally excited about something as dumb as a sparkler on the Fourth of July, just because it was totally amazing and beautiful.”
Josh nodded silently. “You’re right,” he said after a moment. “That is completely stupid.”
Reilly looked away.
“But what’s even stupider is that I know exactly what you mean,” Josh finished.
Reilly met his eyes. “You do?”
Josh nodded. “I do,” he said. He hesitated before continuing. “But now the question is, what do you want to do about it?”
Reilly didn’t answer. Josh watched his face, his heart racing and his thoughts jumping from one thing to the next as he waited for an answer. Reilly cleared his throat.
“I—” he began.
“Hey, handsome. What are you doing here?”
A young woman appeared seemingly out of nowhere and walked over to Reilly, giving him a kiss on the cheek. He looked at her for a moment, as if trying to figure out who she was.
“Hi,” he said. “I was just . . . um . . .” He paused as the woman waited for an answer.
“Picking up a hammer,” Josh said, feeding him the line.
“Right,” Reilly said quickly. “Picking up a hammer.” He held up the hammer in his hand. “This one. Right here.”
“So he can finish work on the cottage,” Josh suggested when Reilly paused again.
“Yes,” Reilly said. “So I can finish work on the cottage.”
“Well, I just ran out for a quick lunch,” the woman said. “Want to join me?”
Reilly nodded. “Sure,” he said, a little too brightly. “Lunch would be great.” He turned to Josh. “I’ll see you later,” he said.
Josh nodded. “Later,” he echoed.
The woman smiled at Josh. “I’m Donna,” she said. “Reilly’s fiancée.” She extended her hand to Josh. “Since he’s not going to introduce us,” she said lightly.
Josh took her hand. “Josh,” he said. “Nice to meet you. Reilly is working on the cottage I’m staying in.”
“Oh, over at Ben and Ted’s place,” Donna replied.
Josh nodded. “That would be the one,” he said.
“Tell them I said hello,” said Donna. “I haven’t seen them in ages. But I’m sure they’ll be at the wedding.”
“I’m sure they will,” Josh said. “You guys have a good lunch. I’ll see you later,” he said to Reilly.
Reilly nodded, and Josh got into his car. As he drove off, he saw the couple in his rearview mirror. Donna had taken Reilly’s hand, and they were walking down the street away from him, growing smaller and smaller as he sped toward home.