3 :  OVERCOMING THE WISH TO RETALIATE

VERSES 22–52

LOOKING AT THE SOURCE OF HARM

Because All Delusions Arise from Conditions, Anger Is Inappropriate

22I do not feel anger toward bile and the other humors,

though they are the cause of great pains to me.

Why should I become angry at conscious beings,

they too are moved to anger by conditions they are not aware of.

23As physical pain arises

without being sought,

anger also arises by force,

even when not desired.

24A human being does not become angry

by freely deciding, “I will become angry,”

and anger itself does not come into existence

by willing, “I will arise.”

25All the manifold transgressions and sins

are due to the force of causes and conditions,

they do not exist

as independent acts or entities.

26And the conjunction of conditions does not have the will to think,

“I will bring about this effect,”

and the product also does not have the will to think,

“I will be produced.”

To step on a thorn and blame the thorn is ridiculous. The thorn is just an external condition, a catalyst for our suffering. The real cause is that we did not see the thorn, due to our lack of awareness and ignorance. All the sufferings of samsara have external conditions and internal causes, but we compound the suffering by not being aware of this and thus blaming and getting angry at the condition rather than the cause. If the cause of suffering were purely external, then there would be no way we could overcome it and so we would all have to suffer all the time. There would be no cure for the sickness of samsara at all.

Just as it is pointless to get angry with the inanimate catalysts of suffering, it is pointless to get angry with somebody who harms us, because they are totally without freedom. Is the person who wishes us harm different from the delusion that caused that wish to arise? When we examine this, it is easy to see they are not the same. When we wish to retaliate, we should remember this: It seems as though that person is bad and has the voluntary desire to give us harm, but they are being controlled by their unsubdued mind. Because the conditions have come together and the main cause is there, anger uncontrollably arises and they are powerless not to harm us.

Just as the illness that causes us distress does not volitionally think, “I will cause that person harm,” so the anger that arises in the other person does not volitionally think it wants to harm us. Both are just results that have arisen out of causes and conditions.

For instance, if we get a headache while we are in a retreat, that headache is caused by the arising of previous karma, brought on by conditions. The headache doesn’t have the intention, “Now I will disturb the meditation by generating great pain.” Or if we have a bout of diarrhea, it is not as if the diarrhea decided it wanted to manifest just to keep us on the toilet seat and away from our meditation. Similarly, it is incorrect to think that the enemy intended to harm us and is therefore wholly responsible.

Even the cause of anger, the dissatisfied mind, doesn’t decide it will become anger. Because of the frustration of not getting what the person wants, the cause is perfected and anger arises, without intent from their side. The dissatisfied mind doesn’t decide to arise. The anger that grows from that dissatisfaction doesn’t decide to arise. And, in the same way, the person who is angry with us doesn’t choose to be angry. These all come from causes and conditions due to the unsubdued mind, and they arise without choice.

As Shantideva said, all the mistakes and negativities arise dependent on conditions, without freedom. They do not govern themselves; they have no self-control.

All suffering comes from the unsubdued mind. The suffering of birth, sickness, aging, and death, and all the other kinds of problems arise from it. All negative karma is caused by it, including the ten nonvirtuous actions.25 With the unsubdued mind, we are not only forced to create negativity and harm others but also to suffer through sickness, problems, and being harmed by others.

To complain about a person getting angry with us is as foolish as complaining about water flowing down rather than up. If we see somebody shouting at a waterfall, demanding the water flow upward, or complaining because the earth is not the sky, we feel that person is not right in the head. We know these things are impossible, and yet we don’t consider that it is also impossible for the person who is angry at us to stop being angry because they are under the control of their delusions. If we looked at the reality of the situation, we would see this. Furthermore, rather than being an object of our anger, the person would immediately become an object of our compassion.

There are various reasons why we get angry. The first reason is that we have not removed the imprint²⁶ of anger. Whereas some people get angry when they are given presents, others with compassion and little self-concern will not get angry even when harmed. This shows that the harmful action is only the condition; the main cause of anger is within the mind.

If we have not yet destroyed the seeds of anger within our mindstream, when the right conditions arise we are helpless not to get angry. Every time we become angry, we leave an imprint on our mindstream that will cause us to become angry in the future, thus perpetuating and increasing our anger. The more negative imprints of anger we leave, the more difficult our future life will be. There is little we can do to stop anger when all the conditions come together.

When we directly realize emptiness on the path of seeing,27 we finally destroy the seeds of the disturbing-thought obscurations²⁸ and cease all gross delusions such as anger, making it impossible for any delusion to arise: anger, attachment, jealousy, and so forth.

The second reason anger arises is that despite knowing the remedies, we do not apply them. Unless we let go of clinging to this life, anger will easily arise whenever our desires are frustrated. Only by practicing patience can we change that.

Until we have destroyed the seeds of anger by realizing emptiness directly, we must constantly watch our mind, not allowing anger to manifest when we see it is about to and, instead, practicing patience. As we have seen, how we view a situation depends entirely on our mind. Viewed one way, the person wanting to harm us is an enemy and the action is a harmful one; viewed another way, they are a friend and their action is helpful. When we are watching TV, we have the choice to switch channels, to a violent movie or a gentle one. Similarly, just as our mind is the door to all suffering, it is also the door to all happiness — depending on how we use it.

Everything depends on how we interpret the world around us. Say somebody loves us, but because of our own delusions we interpret that person’s concern for us as self-interest and decide they don’t love us at all. When we label them as unloving, we then believe it, even though that is not at all how it is. The problem has come entirely from our own mind.

Conversely, say somebody else really hates us. How we react to this entirely depends on our own mind. When we don’t respond to that person’s hatred with compassion and patience, that real human quality is missing, and there is no happiness or peace in our life.

Some of my Colombian students once told me about how dangerous life was in Colombia, with random violence and kidnapping and people being killed there every week. A lot of this has to do with the drug trade. And in the United States, there are often random shootings. After the shooting in the high school in Colorado in 1999,29 there was a big debate in the government and on television that went on for months about whether people should be free to have guns, but there wasn’t one mention about people controlling the mind and having a good heart.

At another time, after a supposedly normal person killed several people, an American news anchor demanded to know how this could happen. But at the same time he said there was no answer to stopping this kind of killing. I’m sorry to say this but he was wrong: there is a way. If these killers had met the Dharma and listened to the Buddha’s teachings, they would know there is a method to transform their minds so that such things wouldn’t happen. If they could have purified the obscurations that caused them to kill, that negative thought would not have arisen and the violence would not have happened. People might be shocked at what I’m saying but this is the solution.

If we can control our anger, we are like a real hero who saves a whole city from destruction. Without controlling our anger, we lose an incredible chance at happiness. We simply cannot comprehend what we lose when we give in to anger. That loss is incalculable; it is so much worse than losing a million dollars, than losing a billion dollars. Perhaps we get angry at an enemy and make them give us a billion dollars. We are richer by a billion dollars, but we must face eons of the most terrible suffering in the lower realms because of that anger, without a cent, without a rag to cover us or a scrap of food.

THE ULTIMATE AND CONVENTIONAL REASONS WHY ANGER IS INAPPROPRIATE

The Ultimate Reason Why Anger Is Inappropriate

27The primordial substance proposed by some,

or the self conceived by others,

indeed could not be born

by deciding, “I will be.”

28For, as long as the primordial substance has not arisen, it exists not.

Who would be there to want to come into existence then?

Moreover, once it came into existence it would not
be able

to cease from its active involvement with the objects of the senses.

29Indeed, if the self is eternal, unconscious,

then, like the sky, it is evidently inactive.

Even if it could come into contact with other conditions,

what sort of activity could the unchanging have?

30Anything that at the time of an effect being produced

remains the same as it was before the effect was produced,

what part of the act of production did it perform?

In the relation between this thing and the effect,
which one of the two is the actual locus of change?

Here, Shantideva brings a meditation on emptiness into the practice of patience. Due to our current way of thinking, this person’s action has attacked our self-cherishing, and so we react. We label that person’s action as harmful and their state of mind as anger. Then that person becomes an enemy to us.

The self being harmed and the person harming appear to us as existing from their own side, and that is the fundamental mistake we make, the ignorance that binds us to suffering. The self, the aggregates, and the other person do not exist at all in that way. If we could see this, there would be no reason whatsoever for becoming angry.

That is not to say nothing exists. I, action, object — everything that exists — exists by being merely labeled by the mind. Phenomena exist no other way except by being merely labeled by the mind. No phenomenon exists from its own side; no phenomenon has inherent existence. However, not having realized emptiness, we are unable to see the I and other phenomena in that way. What we see is according to ignorance — that they exist independently, from their own side.

The merely labeled I has to relate to the aggregates, otherwise how can we point out where the merely labeled I is? For example, if somebody hits you, it means somebody hits your aggregates. There is no way somebody can hit you without hitting your aggregates.

We have a sense of I, based on the five aggregates, but rather than understanding it to be a merely labeled I, which does exist, we hold the I to be truly existing. This comes from negative imprints left on the mental continuum from past ignorance. This is the same with any phenomenon. Due to the negative imprints left by past ignorance, immediately after apprehending an object, the mind projects the hallucination onto it; it decorates the inherently existent appearance.

That projection is not considered the root of samsara, however. It is the moment after that, when the mind, seeing the object as inherently existing, believes it to be so. According to the Prasangika Madhyamaka school, that is the crucial moment. Immediately after apprehending the I as inherently existing, we believe that to be so, and all our mistakes stem from that delusion.

Everything comes from the mind, and everything is merely labeled by the mind — that is the reality. But to our deluded view, everything appears to exist from out there. That part is the hallucination. This nonexistent I is what we need to clearly understand; we need to realize it does not exist at all. Realizing that lack of inherent existence is the emptiness that frees us from samsara.

For beginningless rebirths, we have held on to this real I as 100 percent truly existing. Suddenly we realize there is nothing there to hold on to. It is like waking up from a dream where we won a billion dollars in the lottery only to realize that the billion dollars doesn’t exist. In the dream we believed so strongly that we had won a billion dollars, but when we wake up we find we are just as poor. That real I that we have trusted and believed in is not there; it doesn’t exist, and it has never existed.

How could there be an I that exists from its own side? We cannot apprehend an I other than existing on the aggregates, so it must depend on the aggregates to exist. Because there are the aggregates, we can create the idea of an I, a sense of self, making up the label upon those aggregates. This is what it means to be “merely labeled” on the aggregates. Because there are the aggregates, and because the mind makes up the idea — or the label — of the I, it is merely imputed by the mind. That means the I is totally empty; it doesn’t exist at all from its own side.

The truly existing I, the hallucination, the one that doesn’t exist at all, is placed on top of the merely labeled I, decorating it, covering it, like the houses in India that are always covered in cow dung. This real I is the kaka that covers reality!

The I that does exist depends on the aggregates, and so it is a dependent arising. At the same time, it does not exist independently, so it is empty of inherent existence. Therefore dependent arising and emptiness are inseparable; they are one in essence and different in label.

It is very easy to read the word emptiness in a Dharma text or hear it in a teaching but still not make any connection to our daily life. We can meditate on emptiness every day, but as soon as we stop meditating, we might still see everything as truly existing. As long as things in our daily life and our meditations on emptiness are unrelated, with one separate from the other, then no matter how much pride we might have, no matter how much we believe we are meditating on emptiness, it is totally mistaken.

For instance, while we are walking along the road, we need to see how everything is empty. We are empty, the road is empty, the action of walking is empty. When we go shopping, we the shopper are empty, the seller is empty, what we are buying is empty, the money we are paying with is empty. Everything is like that.

If we can see this, whatever we experience becomes a meditation. If we practice mindfulness in this way, relating everything to emptiness from when we wake up until we go to bed, everything becomes a meditation on emptiness.

The supermarkets or department stores in the big cities have billions of objects in them. If we see all those objects with this sense of emptiness, the more objects there are, the more we meditate on emptiness, and therefore the more they are a remedy to samsara. On the other hand, for somebody not practicing this emptiness meditation, who sees all these phenomena as inherently existent, the more objects they see, the more ignorance they have. Holding on to all those objects as if they were true, as if they exist the way they appear, means the mind is continuously blocked, obscured, from being able to see emptiness.

That is why it is very important to understand what emptiness means. In Tibetan it is tongpanyi, which is much more precise than the English. The nyi, which means “only,” tells us this is not nothingness but being empty of any form of inherent existence at all. To realize the truth of all phenomena, the emptiness that is tongpanyi, is to realize how everything is a dependent arising. This is not the gross dependent arising but the extremely subtle one, the one according to the view of the Prasangika school.

This relates to Shantideva’s questions. If the I, like the primordial substance that some philosophies propose, were inherent and therefore, being unrelated to any causes and conditions, could never change, how could anything ever happen? If nothing arises dependent on other factors, then nothing could arise at all. Suffering could not change to happiness; samsara could not change to nirvana.

However, because everything is a dependent arising, everything is possible. Just as suffering, karma, delusions arise due to causes and conditions, so too does the cessation of suffering. By ceasing the grosser defilements, we can cease all sufferings and achieve liberation. Then, by ceasing even the subtle defilements, we can achieve enlightenment. This is all because everything is empty of inherent existence.

The Conventional Reason Anger Is Inappropriate

31Thus, everything depends on something else,

and that on which it depends is also dependent.

Under these circumstances, among entities, which, like magical creations,

lack self-activity, what should be the object of our anger?

32An Objector Interjects: Then, it is also absurd to practice self-control,

for, who could restrain what?30

The Author Replies: It is reasonable to practice
self-control, because there is causality.

We thus accept that there is an end to suffering.

33Therefore, when one sees that a friend or a foe

has done wrong, one must remain at peace,

reflecting, “Such and such conditions

are the cause for his actions.”

34But, if only by one’s own wish

one could attain the object of his desire

there would be no sorrow among all
living beings,

for no one desires sorrow.

Ultimately, the enemy who gives harm and the harm itself are both empty. Neither exists inherently in any way. Because we are unable to see it like this, we should train to see things as like illusions, like dreams — maybe like hallucinations that happen when we take LSD! Because everything is dependent on other factors and nothing governs itself, these illusion-like phenomena are nothing to get angry about. It is like in our dreams there might be an enemy, but when we awake we realize there is no enemy there, existing by its own nature.

The enemy is like a dream enemy, but that does not mean they are actually a dream, that is, nonexistent. When we are meditating on emptiness, we must be so skillful not to fall into nihilism. In his Four Hundred Stanzas, Aryadeva said that believing that nothing exists — including the I and karma — and hence falling into nihilism creates karma heavier than having killed a hundred million people.

If the emptiness of the I meant there were no I at all, either truly existing or merely labeled, then nothing would exist. No suffering would exist; no pleasure would exist. There would be no need to move the body, no need to breathe. Everything would be completely pointless. Everything we do is to attain happiness and stop suffering, but if there were no I at all, none of our actions would have any effect. With no I, why have expensive treatments in hospital to cure the I that doesn’t exist?

Many mistakes arise when we mistakenly think that the I doesn’t exist at all. We meditate to try to attain a peaceful, happy mind, but this I cannot receive any peace because it doesn’t exist. There is no karma, no cause and no effect. There is no point to anything and no reason to refrain from creating negative actions.

To think that because there is no I, no enemy, no phenomenon, and therefore nothing matters, we deny karma. That is a completely dark mind; it is very dangerous. Emptiness is not nothingness; meditating on emptiness is not watching nothing, like sitting in a helicopter looking at blank sky.

Nothing exists ultimately, but because everything is a dependent arising, everything exists conventionally, existing in dependence on causes and conditions. The enemy, the anger they have, the harm they give us, all arise due to causes and conditions. The suffering we feel from that person’s anger has arisen due to karma, the negative actions we have done in the past, therefore we should not become angry in return.

For instance, it might seem that being criticized is a cause of anger, but if it that were so, then anybody who ever received criticism would have to get angry. That is not so. Somebody could criticize a buddha or a bodhisattva and no anger would arise at all. Even many ordinary good-hearted people will not react to criticism and other harmful actions.

A higher bodhisattva, who has totally renounced the self and only cherishes others, has still to remove the subtle imprints to knowledge, but all the grosser disturbing-thought imprints have been destroyed, so it is impossible to become angry even if somebody tried to harm them. Anger is only a condition; it is not an inherent cause. And because the cause is our own delusion, there is no reason to be angry at the person who has harmed us.

DELUDED BEINGS HARM OTHERS WITHOUT CONTROL

Why Be Angry with the Stick?

35As a result of their own thoughtlessness

some human beings will torture themselves with thorns, hunger, and other tribulations,

due to their anger, and their desire for women,

or other things that are not theirs to have.

36Others will kill themselves by hanging,

or jumping from a cliff,

by taking poison or eating excessively,

and through demeritorious conduct.

37If, enslaved by the perturbations

they thus destroy their own selves, so dear to them,

then how could they be expected to refrain from bringing down

these same torments upon the bodies of others?

38Maddened by the afflictions,

they act for their own destruction,

they inspire only pity,

how could there arise any anger for them?

39If harming others is intrinsically natural to the foolish,

it makes no more sense to feel anger toward them

than it would be to be angry with fire

because it is in its nature to burn.

40On the other hand, if this defect is accidental,

and living beings are by nature kind,

still it would be as absurd to feel anger toward them

as it would be to be angry with air when it carries fetid smoke.

41If one forgets the stick, which is the nearest cause
of pain,

and feels anger toward the one who moves the stick,

then it would be better to hate hatred,

since it is hatred that moves the one who brandishes the stick.

Why do so many famous people commit suicide? Actors, singers, extremely wealthy people, and even highly educated people commit suicide. This is because, despite their material comfort, they are full of afflictive emotions. This is due to a lack of Dharma understanding, a lack of methods to transform their mind. They put so much effort into gaining fame and wealth but never try to transform their mind; and they are unable to control their delusions, which causes anger, jealousy, desire, and all the other deluded minds to arise. Then when they are overwhelmed with dissatisfaction, the thought of suicide arises. With all that wealth, education, and fame, they think the only way out is to end their life. It is very sad.

This even happens to people who are Buddhists. They might rely on the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha, but they don’t integrate the teachings into their life. Then one day, when, for instance, their partner leaves, what happens? Their life becomes a disaster. It is like how, in India, a fruit stall will have a big mirror and bright lights above the fruit to make it look all big and beautiful. But then you look at the fruit and it is pretty bad. Like the fruit in the mirror, their Dharma is just a reflection; it is Dharma without a heart. When a disaster happens in their life, their problems overwhelm them, they cannot practice Dharma, and so they commit suicide.

Nobody wants to suffer, but because we are overwhelmed by our delusions, we can’t help it. Because of anger, jealousy, and so forth, we have disharmony in our relationships, causing arguments and fighting. Always trying to get its way, our self-cherishing creates all kinds of problems. We might get what we want for a short while — some comfort, some reputation — but because these things were gained through negativity, we will certainly suffer.

Like a moth to a flame, people run toward suffering. When a moth flies into melted candle wax, it becomes completely trapped. Its body and wings are so fragile that it is almost impossible to free itself from the wax. It doesn’t think that the flame will burn its body — otherwise, of course, it wouldn’t jump in — and yet the more we try to stop it, the harder it tries to get into the flame. It doesn’t plan this in order to suffer; it only has expectations of happiness, and it is unafraid and unaware the flame will cause it suffering. Wanting happiness, the result is completely the opposite; the moth gets burned and dies.

If, because of their delusions, people are incapable of not harming themselves, then of course they will be incapable of not harming others. Why should we feel they harm us by choice, driven as they are by their delusions?

When somebody harms themselves or others, we should have compassion, like a son or daughter with a crazy mother. Even if the mother becomes crazy, completely uncontrolled, possessed by spirits, the child, knowing how incredibly kind and precious she is, sees that she herself has no freedom, and so she becomes only an object of compassion. In the same way, we should see how whoever harms us is completely overwhelmed by disturbing thoughts that force them to create negative actions that only result in problems, now and in the future. Knowing that, there is no reason why anger should arise and why we should harm them. Becoming angry is totally inappropriate.

There are many reasons why this is so. It seems as though we are blameless and the other person is entirely to blame, but as they are ruled by their delusions, they have no control. At present we see the person and their anger as one, but they are not their anger. When we see that they are different from their anger, and that it is a delusion that is forcing them to act the way they do, we see things completely differently. They are without freedom, entrapped by their anger in the way the Tibetans have no freedom under Chinese rule or a person possessed by spirits is without freedom.

The person who harms us only wants happiness, and they think their action will bring them some happiness, but that is just their delusions speaking. They don’t understand that harming another person can only result in more suffering. Because of their negative actions, when they are reborn in the lower realms, there is no chance for them to create any positive actions at all, so their suffering becomes endless.

We blame the person who harms us but that is incorrect. As Shantideva said, we don’t blame the stick a person uses to beat us, because we see the stick is just an instrument in their hands. It would be completely silly to get angry at the stick. In the same way, the person is an instrument under the control of their anger and delusions. They are like a horse completely under the control of its rider or like our kind mother overcome by spirits. We would never blame her for any harm she does but instead blame the spirits that control her. Since the person is not responsible, instead of placing the blame on them we should blame hatred itself. Then rather than thinking of ourselves — our happiness, our problem — we think of the other person’s suffering instead, and there is no choice — unbearable compassion has to arise in our heart. We see the person as so pitiful, with so much suffering.

LOOKING AT OUR OWN FAULTS

“My Karma Persuaded Me”

42I myself during my past lives brought similar torments

upon other beings. Therefore it is only fitting

that this same tribulation should fall upon me,

who is the cause of injury to other living beings.

43His sword and my body are the twofold cause of my pain.

He bears the sword,

I, the body,

with which one should I feel angry?

44In the shape of a body I adopted this open sore,

sensitive to the slightest touch.

If I myself, blinded by thirst, bring upon it further affliction,

what should be the object of my anger?

45I do not desire suffering,

yet I foolishly seek the causes of suffering.

Since sorrow comes from my own offenses,

why should I become angry at anything else?

46The sword-leaf forest, the birds of hell,

they all arise from my own actions,

and so does my present suffering;

where should I direct my anger?

One of the most forceful ways to overcome our anger is to see that we are being harmed because we have harmed others in the past. According to our self-cherishing mind, it is perfectly acceptable to treat badly the person who harms us — they totally deserve it — but it is utterly unacceptable that we are treated badly in any way — we are totally blameless. When we understand karma, however, we can see that because karma is definite, there is no way that we can be harmed by that person without having created the cause by having harmed them in the past. This is just the ripening of some past karma; we have created the cause and we are experiencing the result.31 When we accept that this is so, the situation does not become a problem.

A negative action we did in the past has created the imprint on our mindstream that causes that person to harm us now in a similar way. When that harm is returned to us, we should think, “My karma persuaded me and now I am receiving that harm back.” When we see that we are the cause of all this, how can we possibly blame them?

We should remember this in our daily life, especially in circumstances where there is a danger that we will engage in some heavy negative karma. Whatever we do in retaliation — angry words, a physical attack, a court case, or whatever — perpetuates the cycle of karma and ensures we will be harmed in the future. And because karma is expandable, from that one negative action we will have to experience the result for hundreds of thousands of lifetimes.

The person who abused us or robbed us is not the cause of our suffering; the negative karmic imprints on our mindstream have brought this about. Whatever bad situation we are experiencing can always be taken back to a similar negative action we did in the past.

Dharmarakshita’s Wheel of Sharp Weapons is an extended teaching on this idea. The full title is The Wheel of Sharp Weapons Effectively Striking the Heart of the Foe,³² which refers to attacking the correct enemy. There are two sorts of enemy: the external, physical one and the internal, nonphysical one. We normally see the external enemy as the cause of the harm that we must experience, but this text clearly shows us that it is the internal, nonphysical enemy that is our foe and that we must work to destroy. That foe is our self-cherishing, and the external enemy’s action harms that self-cherishing. Dharmarakshita shows us how we need to turn our weapon around and attack the correct enemy, not the external one that is in fact helping us destroy our delusions. When we develop a deep understanding of karma, we will have complete conviction about this.

Every experience we have, whether it is happiness or suffering, comes from our own karma, from our own previous motivation. Karma is behind everything. External factors seem to be the cause of our problems, but they are just conditions. We are cheated by somebody only because they were cheated by us in the past; we cheated them and now we are being paid back. The karma has circled back, and it is our turn. When we see how we ourselves have brought this about, we cannot possibly become angry with them.

When somebody harms us with the weapon of harsh words or when we are bitten by a mosquito, these are results of our previous karma, of having had ill will in the past. We must understand that the bite is the result of our own negative action and the insect itself is blameless. We caused it; the insect is just the instrument. In the same way, if we are robbed of a billion dollars, the robber is just the tool of our own negative karma.

While worldly people generally feel that anger is the correct response to harm, seeing it in this light we can see how utterly foolish it is. Therefore if we want to be really smart, instead of returning harm with harm, we return harm with patience and compassion, benefiting the harmer in response to the harm we have received. If we can break that cycle, we will be helped by that sentient being for hundreds of thousands of lifetimes, guaranteeing ourselves so much happiness for all those lifetimes. In that way, the person who stole our billion dollars will be the one who makes us achieve enlightenment.

We don’t receive help now because we didn’t offer help in the past; we are poor now because we weren’t generous in the past. Until we turn our habitual attitudes around, our problems will continue. To have perfect surroundings, perfect conditions, and perfect friends, we need to create the causes. It all depends on having a good heart, and then happiness comes naturally.

Causing Them to Harm Us, We Cause Them to Suffer

47Moved by my own actions,

there arise those who cause me injury.

Because of this they shall go to the [hole of the] hells.

Is it not the case then, that it is I who do them harm?

48Because of them, by patiently accepting their offenses,

many of my sins will vanish. On the other hand,

it is because of me that they will end up in the hells,

where they will suffer for a long time.

Shantideva pointed out that not only is the harm we receive from somebody caused by our own previous negative action but also that by harming us they are creating negative karma and so must suffer for it in the future. That means that we are the cause of their suffering. And most probably, because of their action, in their next life they will fall into the “hole of the hells.” In other words, we are responsible for sending them to the lower realms. Seeing this, how can we not feel compassion for them?

The “hole of the hells” suggests a huge hole with terrible fires laid underneath. Being reborn in the hot hells is like falling through that hole into the raging fire, one that is almost impossible to escape. Once in the lower realms, it is extremely difficult to create any positive karma at all and therefore almost impossible to be reborn as a human being with a perfect human rebirth.

We are responsible for this, but that is not how a normal person would think. Most people would probably see any suffering their harmer experienced as deserved, completely unaware that they themselves had any part in it. In fact, it is completely the opposite.

This is something we must remember in our everyday life. Whenever we encounter a situation where we can get angry because of what somebody has done, we must see how we have caused that situation and that they are powerless not to harm us and, in consequence, will cause themselves great suffering in the future. If we retaliate with anger, because karma is definite and expandable, we too will suffer greatly in the future.

When Shantideva showed us that we are not only responsible for our own suffering but also the suffering of our harmer, he skillfully showed us how compassion, not anger, is the only appropriate response. Furthermore, by responding to harm with patience, we will develop the positive qualities of our mind, all the way to enlightenment, so they are the cause of all our happiness, whereas because of having harmed us, they are faced with nothing but suffering.

The Angry Mind Mistakes Help for Harm

49It is I who bring harm to them;

they are my benefactors.

Why do I turn things around, and,

with a violent heart, give rise to anger?

50If I do not end up in the hells

it will be due to the qualities of my own disposition.

What is there for these enemies to gain

if I guard myself from impatience?

51If I were to respond to their offense in this way,

they would not be protected,

I would lose my conduct

and these wretches would perish.

Our friends cannot help us cultivate patience, only our enemies can. In that way, they are our greatest benefactors, and yet we mistakenly see them as harming us and we wish to harm them back. This is entirely the wrong way to think. The Kadampa Geshe Chen Ngawa33 said,

Therefore we must cherish those who cause us harm more than those who bring us benefit. Why? Due to an enemy’s infliction of harm, we cultivate forbearance and thus obtain immeasurable merit. Because of our enemy’s harm, we step up our efforts and traverse higher and higher levels. We thus attain all higher attainments, so we must cherish those who inflict harm upon us.³⁴

When there is no patience, when we allow anger to rule us, it continues from life to life, causing us to harm countless sentient beings. It is very frightening when you think about it. Having anger creates more unpleasant situations and more reasons to get angry. We create more and more harm for others. We can see this in people around us. In history, there are people who have been completely controlled by anger who have started wars and killed millions of people. Unless we learn to control our anger, we can become like them.

On the other hand, if we could return the harm they have done us with compassion and patience, instead of giving the victory to our own anger and becoming its slave, we would give ourselves freedom. We would then no longer view the other person as an enemy or the situation as bad. Therefore we must develop patience, and the only way to do that is by being patient with somebody who is trying to harm us. As we will see, our enemy is really so kind to us by allowing us this opportunity.

GESHE CHEN NGAWA’S FOUR WAYS OF CONTROLLING ANGER

Geshe Chen Ngawa explained how to control and overcome anger by training in patience using four methods:

•by understanding that we receive the arrows of harm only because we have created the target of nonvirtue

•by meditating on loving-kindness and compassion

•by recognizing that harm and patience are like teacher and disciple

•by destroying anger through realizing the absolute nature of things35

The first way of training in patience is to understand that we receive the arrows of harm only because we have created the target of nonvirtue. This point requires a good understanding of karma. It relates to Shantideva’s point, which we have already looked at — that our karma persuaded us to receive suffering.

Any negative action we do is a target for the arrows of harm. Lying to somebody lays us open to be lied to in the future. Stealing from somebody means we can easily be stolen from. Even looking jealously at somebody creates a target that can be hit by the arrow of harm in the future. Our target can be hit in this lifetime or in some future lifetime, but it will be hit, and it will be nobody’s fault but our own. Therefore we should not be angry at the person who harms us, who in fact is only a condition in the situation that has manifested due to our karma. It is our own karma that is the real cause, and if we need to blame something, it is that.

Because we have created the target, others can shoot their arrows of harm. If, on the other hand, there were no target, there would be nothing for the arrow to hit. By creating negative actions, we are leaving ourselves open to receive harm in the future when the right circumstances manifest. That is the law of cause and effect; that is karma. The problem is not with the harmers and their arrows but with the target of negativity we have set up for them to fire at. It is completely our responsibility, completely our fault, and not the fault of the harmer. Therefore there is no reason to get angry with other sentient beings.

When we get sick, when somebody treats us badly, when problems arise with our work or family, when our cherished possessions break or are lost — whatever occasion arises that causes us pain — we need to see this is the ripening of the karmic imprint caused by some previous negative action we have done. Whatever difficulty we experience in life comes right back to our own nonvirtuous conduct. If we had not created the karma, we could not have received the result. The antidote, therefore, is to not create nonvirtue. Then we will no longer be a target.

When we get angry at somebody, we create a huge target. I think this is very easy to see. We get angry because we have been harmed and immediately we wish to retaliate. When we in turn harm our harmer and they then want to harm us back, who then is responsible for us being a target of their harm?

The second way of training in patience is to meditate on loving-kindness and compassion. This is so logical. If we really understand the position of the person we are angry with, we will see how they are suffering, how their delusions caused them to act in the way they did, and so instead of anger arising at them for having blocked our self-centered happiness in some way, only loving-kindness and compassion will arise.

When an insane person unwittingly harms us, we don’t retaliate because we can see that they are not in charge, that the situation has been caused by their disturbed mind. In the same way, we need to understand that when somebody harms us, they are not in control but are being controlled by their delusions. What they do is without freedom, as if they are possessed by a malicious spirit.

In fact, the person possessed by a spirit is more fortunate than this person who has harmed us. Somebody will only be controlled by a spirit for a limited time; it is not something that has been going on from beginningless lifetimes and will continue forever. Sooner or later that person will be free from the spirit and recover. The person controlled by delusions, however, has been controlled since beginningless rebirths and will continue to be controlled unless they can free themselves from them. So, the “sane” person possessed by delusions, harming themselves and others, is more trapped than the insane person possessed by a spirit.

The third way to develop patience is by recognizing that harm and patience are like teacher and disciple. Having been harmed, we have an incredible opportunity to learn from our harmer. When we realize their role in leading us to enlightenment, we should feel so happy to receive their abuse. We are their disciple receiving their most precious teaching. As Geshe Chen Ngawa said, we should feel happy and meditate on repaying the kindness of this kind guru, seeing ourselves as the disciple who receives patience from them, and seeing them as the virtuous teacher who delivers patience into our hands.

Practicing in this way is not a pretense. We don’t just pretend our harmer is a precious guru even though we know they are not. It is not just a mental exercise on our part. They really are the person who teaches us patience and allows us to attain enlightenment, and therefore they really are our virtuous teacher. Therefore, just as we respect and pay homage to the buddhas, the bodhisattvas, and the holy gurus, we should respect and pay homage to the enemy.

The final point of Geshe Chen Ngawa’s four ways is to realize the absolute nature of things, which is emptiness. Of course, this is the most effective way to destroy anger. When we are angry, there seems to be a very real I that is angry with a very real enemy, but when we explore this further, it seems a little strange. We can look for this real I that is angry, but no matter where we look, we cannot find it. It cannot be other than somewhere in the body and mind — the group of five aggregates — but we cannot find it anywhere there. The five aggregates are not the real I, one of them alone is not the real I, and it is not separate from them. We cannot even find the merely labeled I on these five aggregates.

Similarly, when we look for the real, independently existing enemy, we cannot find it anywhere. We make up the label “enemy” and the label “bad,” and we see the situation as inherently bad. There is the appearance of bad in our mind and we believe it. This is the view of anger. This has all come from our own mind. The appearance of a person as enemy and a situation as bad is the appearance of anger. As soon as we practice patience, however, that appearance of the person as enemy disappears.

Geshe Chen Ngawa said that the way to think is that there is no object of harm, no action of harming, and no harmer; that all of these are completely empty. We see that those things that appeared to us as real, as truly existing, are hallucinations of our deluded, angry mind. They are projections of that deluded way of thinking, like somebody on LSD seeing their body being cut to pieces. When we can understand this, there is no reason for anger to arise at all. In the ninth chapter of A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, Shantideva said,

Thus, among empty phenomena

what can be gained, or lost?

Who will be honored

or despised, by whom?

Whence will come pleasure and sorrow?

What is pleasure? What is thirst?

If one seeks for its intrinsic reality,

where will one find thirst?36

When we awaken from this hallucination of having an enemy, we see that no enemy exists from their own side. In that case, what purpose does anger serve? None at all.