Cruz
I held Lydia’s quivering body, so grateful we’d gotten out of there alive. The more I thought about it, the weirder it was that we were alive. That gunman in the alley hadn’t used an automatic rifle; he’d used a handgun. And his aim couldn’t have been that bad. We’d been sitting ducks in that narrow space. So, why had he missed? Incompetence? Or maybe they wanted us alive.
I inwardly shook my head and pulled Lydia tighter against me. That puzzle could be figured out later. For the moment, I was going to hold the woman of my dreams in my arms as long as she’d let me.
We turned the corner in front of the safe house, and Piper drove past before circling back, just to make sure we weren’t being followed. She pulled into the garage, and the guys piled out of the van. Lydia didn’t move.
“Lydia, baby? You ready to get out of here?”
She shook her head no. I chuckled softly.
“Look, there’s a warm bed up there with our names on it. How about a hot shower, some pain meds, and I’ll continue holding you afterwards?”
She pulled back and searched my face, her hands caressing my cheeks. “I forgot you’re injured. Are you okay? Did you injure yourself more?”
I chuckled again—damn, it had been a long time since I’d had anything to laugh about. “No, I’m fine. Just sore. The ibuprofen did the trick.”
“Still, I should examine you when we get upstairs. Let’s go.”
She was out of the van quicker than I thought possible. She was the most selfless woman I’d ever known, and I loved her all the more because of it.
When we reached the bedroom, Lydia shut the door and turned to face me.
“Take that off.” Her commanding voice didn’t leave any room for argument, so I carefully pulled the shirt over my head, mindful of my tender ribs. Running for our lives had admittedly done a number on my bruised ribs and shredded back. Blood trickled down my back and into my pants.
“Turn around.” I did as I was told, and heard Lydia’s intake of breath.
“Dammit, Cruz. You’ve ripped open the scabs.”
“I’ve had worse.”
When she didn’t say anything, I turned to meet her watery gaze, her bottom lip trembling with the effort to hold it together.
“Hey, I’ll be okay. I’m fine. I promise.”
“I can’t imagine what you’ve been through. I want to be mad at you, to rail at you for lying to me, for not telling me that you were alive. But when I think about what you endured, I just can’t. All the anger falls away, and all I feel is—”
She hesitated to find the word, so I filled it in for her. “Pity.” I hated that word. Hated that other people felt it when they thought of me. Ashamed, I turned away, walking towards the bathroom.
Lydia’s hand reached out, touching my arm and stopping me. She circled around me and took my face in her hands. “No. Not pity. Admiration. Awe. Respect. Wonder. Reverence. Pick one. Any will do, and yet none of them quite convey how I feel.”
I took her hand and placed a kiss in her palm.
“You’re the one who helped me through.”
“What do you mean?”
“Every time I lay there in that cave—close to death—ready to give up, you would come to me and tell me it was all going to be okay. That you were waiting for me. That we’d be together.”
Tears leaked from her eyes and ran down her face into the corners of her mouth. I wanted to kiss them away, taste the saltiness on my tongue and take away her sadness.
“Two years you’ve been back, and yet you never sought me out. You never came to me.”
“I couldn’t. You were better off without me.”
“And now?”
“Now, I’m too selfish to let you go again.”
I lowered my lips to hers, finally tasting the tangy salt of her tears. Tracing the seam of her lips with my tongue, I let her taste the emotions that flowed from her eyes. When she opened to me, I deepened the kiss, taking her head in my hands and turning her face to press my advantage. I wanted all of her. Every inch of her body. Every thought in her head. Every feeling in her heart. I wanted to claim her, possess her, love her.
A knock sounded on the door, and I lifted my head, groaning at the interruption. “To be continued.”
I whispered the words against her mouth and pressed a quick kiss to seal my promise. I left her standing there, her fingertips touching the place my lips had just been.
“What?” I barked the word as I swung the door open.
Levi stood on the other side of the door, a knowing smirk on his face.
“Sorry to interrupt. Team meeting in fifteen minutes. That enough time for you to… clean up?” The pause in his words was filled with innuendo, and I knew Lydia’s face was aflame before I even looked at her.
“Will that work for you?”
She nodded, then shook her head.
“No. I need to dress the wounds on your back. Make it thirty.”
“Thirty minutes it is.” Levi chuckled softly as he walked away.
“Ass.”
There was no heat behind the insult—still, it was clear that I hadn’t been very subtle in my affections towards Lydia. There was nothing that could be done, nor was there anything I wanted to do about it. I loved her, and I would spend every moment for the rest of my life showing her just how much.
That was if she could ever forgive me. A tall order, indeed.
“You go first.” I motioned to the shower, and Lydia, cheeks still blazing from Levi’s taunting, nodded abruptly and rushed inside.
As she showered, I went to work unwrapping my ribs, careful with the shredded flesh of my back, and then started to pull the dressings off. Only, I couldn’t reach most of them, so it was slow going. I’d only made it halfway up my back when Lydia emerged from the shower, a white fluffy towel wrapped tightly around her body.
Her curves. Damn, they undid me. She was round in all the right places. Tiny waist. Pinup fantasy material.
“Let me.” Lydia reached up and started to peel the dressings off my back. I sucked in a breath at a particularly stubborn one that pulled on the tender flesh.
“Sorry.” Her voice was soft and filled with compassion. “There.”
I turned and faced her, immediately drawing her into my arms. I inhaled the floral scent of her shampoo mixed with an essence that was entirely Lydia.
“I’m going to explain. When things settle down, I will explain everything.”
She nodded, her eyes focused on a spot on my chest.
“Your tattoos—” Her hands reached out to touch my chest, then pulled them back quickly. “Cruz, what happened?”
“Just more souvenirs from the hooded man.”
“The hooded man?”
“Long story. Let’s just say, he was my host for the weeks I was held in captivity, and he had no shortage of energy when it came to making sure I had a warm welcome.”
I knew I was disgusting, the skin puckered and tortured. I pulled away, but Lydia reached out, tentatively running her hands over the abused flesh.
“What does this tattoo mean?”
“It’s a phoenix rising from the fire. Rebirth and all that. When I was rescued, I was given a second chance at life. A new beginning. Only, it’s not as easy as I thought it was to shed the past. It follows me. Haunts me.”
“Post-traumatic stress disorder?”
I nodded, too ashamed to say the words.
“Cruz, that’s to be expected. PTSD is nothing to be ashamed of. The fact that you survived, that you continue to live and breathe, that’s bravery. There are people who can help—”
I held up a hand to halt her words. “Yeah, I know. I talked with someone regularly right after it, but lately, things have been stirred up again. It’s not something you kick overnight. It’s something you live with and choose every day to fight.”
“See? Bravery.”
I didn’t feel brave most days. Most days I was just happy to be a mostly functional adult. I turned my face away, not wanting her to see my emotions. They were raw after the torture I’d endured at Chavez’s hand. Too many memories brought on overnight.
Lydia must have felt me pulling away, as she dropped her hands and took a step back. “Take a shower. Be careful with your back. I’ll dress your wounds when you get out.”
I leaned forward and kissed her lips, not saying anything, not deepening the kiss. It was sweet. A kiss that promised hope. Affection. Love.
Pulling away, I walked to the shower and turned the water on warm. I’d love a hot shower, but with the open wounds on my back, I opted for slightly warmer than room temperature. I made quick work of showering and toweled off, wrapping it around my waist.
When I entered the bedroom, Lydia was dressed in a pair of my boxer shorts and a loose T-shirt, sitting on the bed. Whether she was wearing an oversized shirt or a tight dress, she looked amazing. But at that moment, with her hair damp and messy around her face, no makeup hiding her natural beauty, her eyes focused on me filled with tenderness—she was the most beautiful I’d ever seen her.
“I hope you don’t mind.” She motioned to her clothes. “I didn’t exactly bring luggage with me.”
“Not at all.”
She looked nervously down at her fingers and stood.
“Let me tend to those wounds.” She inhaled deeply as if steadying herself to see my back. I hadn’t been able to get a good look at it. I knew the skull tattoo that took up the entire area was a mangled mess. I’d have to see how it healed to determine whether or not it could be fixed.
I sat on the bed, and Lydia knelt behind me. She spread some salve on the torn flesh and began precisely affixing cloth bandages to the wounds.
“These are healing nicely.”
I grunted in reply. Not much I could say to that. “Nicely” was subjective.
“What kind of tattoo was this? I mean, before, um—”
“Before that sadistic bastard Juan Carlos flayed me open, you mean?”
Lydia was silent, and I cursed quietly under my breath.
“Sorry.” I gave myself a moment to get my anger under control and answered her question. “It was a skull. It symbolizes death. Death of my old life.”
“Your past is behind you. Your death. Your old life. While the future is in front of you. The phoenix rising.”
“Yeah, something like that.”
“It’s beautiful.”
I snorted. “Hardly.”
“No—really. You’ve taken something horrible that happened to you and turned it into something meaningful and lovely.”
“Thanks.”
She worked quietly for a few more minutes before squeezing my shoulders lightly. “All done.”
A knock sounded at the door. “Come in.”
Levi poked his head in, eyeing my state of undress. “Really?” He quirked an eyebrow.
I shrugged, completely unaffected by my near nudity.
Levi rolled his eyes. “You guys ready?”
Lydia popped off the bed. “Yep. Just finished with his back.”
Levi tilted his head in response and shut the door.
“I’ll just—” I motioned to the bag on the floor with my clothes in it. A bag the team had brought for me, knowing I wouldn’t have had time to get my stuff from Chavez’s abode.
“Right. I’ll wait for you out there.” Lydia’s actions seemed awkward, jerky and unsure. I hated seeing her that way. I knew our situation was odd. Nothing about this was typical. But I wasn’t about to allow the weird situation to make her feel uncomfortable.
I took two steps forward, my arms wrapping around her shoulders, her back to my front. Leaning down, I kissed the spot where her neck met her collarbone. “Thank you, Lydia.”
Her voice was breathy, husky, as if she’d just woken up. “It’s no problem, Cruz. I’m happy to help.”
“No, not for that. I mean, yes, thank you for patching me up. But I meant thank you for allowing me the opportunity to explain—for giving me a second chance.”
She turned in my arms, her hands resting on my chest, tilting her head up so she could meet my gaze. “You have a lot of explaining to do. But Lorenzo, I’ve never forgotten you.”
The mention of my old name sent shivers racing down my spine. Maybe it was because her sweet voice saying my name reminded me of the times all those years ago when we were together. Or maybe it was because it was forbidden—a name that had to be forgotten. Or maybe it was simply because she was recognizing the man who still existed behind the mask of Cruz Ortiz.
My lips met hers in a demanding kiss. All teeth and tongues and passion. Her hands thrust into my hair as if she was trying to bring me closer. I returned the favor, wrapping the length of her hair around my wrist and pulling slightly. The action tilted her chin up higher, her mouth opening on a gasp, and a smile tugging at her lips. It also gave me better access to her neck, sucking that secret spot tucked under her ear that lit her on fire.
My hands skirted down her rib cage, to her waist. When I reached her bottom, I tugged her closer, pulling her up against me. She moaned as she pressed closer.
A sharp rap sounded on the door, and Lydia yelped, jumping away.
“Enough already, lovebirds. Time’s ticking.” Levi’s smug voice drew a growl from me, but I let Lydia go, swatting her on the behind.
“Go. Before I’m tempted to finish what we started. Team meeting be damned.”
Humor shone in her eyes as she winked and opened the door. I hurriedly pulled on pants and a T-shirt, careful of the bandages on my back. I left off the bandages for the ribs as they were feeling a bit better, despite the activity of the night.
When I was dressed and had myself under control, I left the bedroom and met the team at the dining-room table. Levi sat at the head, Cade and Piper on his right, and Oscar and Ryder on his left. Lydia sat next to Piper, leaving one spot open for me.
I sat in the chair, ignoring the smirks and chuckles going on around the table.
“Nice of you to join us.” Oscar, ever the joker, leaned forward, shooting me a gotcha grin. I just rolled my eyes and leaned back in the chair, one hand on the table and one on my lap.
“Enough. We’ve got a lot to discuss. First, it’s clear Dante sold you out.”
Levi directed the comment to Lydia. I leaned forward to defend her, but she stuck out her hand to stop me.
“You’re right. It appears that he did. Although, the conversation he had on the phone while we were running for our lives clearly indicated that he’d had no idea they’d be sending gunmen. Chavez threatened his ten-year-old son. I don’t know a single person in here who would choose strangers over their own flesh and blood.”
Levi nodded, appreciation for her grit and bravado clear in his eyes. “You’re right. What did he say on the phone?”
“Just that it wasn’t part of the deal. It was clear that he had no idea Chavez would send armed assassins into the middle of his establishment.”
“How did Chavez know you were meeting him?”
“No idea. Unless Dante called him after we spoke? But that doesn’t make sense. If he was willing to give us information as he’d indicated on the phone with me, why call Chavez and warn him that we were coming to see him?”
“Maybe as a sign of loyalty? To get on his good side? Who knows how these scumbags work.” Cade’s disgust at the gangsters was understandable. His new wife, Piper, had been held hostage by El Sangre in Atlanta just a couple of months ago. There was little compassion in this group for thugs.
“Maybe. Dante owes me, though. If there’s anything these guys pride themselves on, it’s repaying their debts. An honor system of sorts.”
“An honor system among scumbags?” Oscar sneered, his question dripping with sarcasm.
“Yeah. In a way. I saved his son’s life. He feels like he owes me. So it doesn’t make sense that he’d rat me out.”
“Well, either way, Ryder’s been working on the information Dante did give you. It seems there are a group of warehouses about seven miles from Chavez’s old compound. When we return to Atlanta, we’ll scope it out. According to his timeline, the deal goes down a week from tomorrow.” Levi looked at his watch. “A week from today since it’s well past midnight.”
“Why Atlanta? The ports in Miami are much larger. If it’s a huge shipment, couldn’t they get lost in Miami a lot easier than the smaller ports off the coast of Georgia?” Piper asked, her question mirroring my thoughts.
“True, but Miami security is top-notch. In a smaller port, like Savannah, they’re more likely to find people they can pay off. A shipment that large in Miami would raise suspicions among the authorities,” Ryder explained, his attention never leaving his keyboard.
“But if you have a few people on your payroll at a much smaller port, you’ve got the clout to make people turn their heads and close their eyes.” Piper gave a thumbs up, satisfied that she understood the reasoning. It made sense. Smaller port—smaller population to contend with.
“Precisely.”
“That means if the deal takes place next Saturday, the shipment will probably arrive on Thursday. Could we intercept it?” Cade directed the question to Levi, who shook his head.
“We could, but then we’d be no closer to taking down Chavez or Los Caballeros. And we still know very little about them.”
“So, we go to the warehouse next Saturday. With guns blazing?” I leaned forward, all too eager to start shooting and ask questions later. I had a score to settle with Chavez and his evil band of soldiers.
Levi shrugged, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back in his chair. “Perhaps, if things look nasty. But this might be a time where we need to follow the money trail. What do Los Caballeros want with that much firepower and drugs? I’m assuming it will be both. Are they creating an army? Or selling them to the highest bidder to fund something else?”
“Surveillance then. I can get some cameras set up, maybe even some listening devices, assuming Chavez doesn’t search for them.” Ryder lifted his head only for a moment to make sure we were all still present in the room, and then went back to typing on his laptop. What in the world was he constantly doing on there?
“My bet is, he will. So, we’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.” Ryder sighed heavily, just as Levi chuckled.
“Yeah, well, you know me. Tried and true is always the best route. Anyway, we’ll set up a perimeter. Get close enough to set the devices while the meeting is ongoing. Record what we can and be ready for anything that might tip our hand.”
“Roger that. I’ve got a couple of newfangled toys Washington sent my way. Great time to try them out.”
“Perfect. Okay, team. Let’s get some rest. We leave here at 08:00.”
The team broke apart, and I followed Lydia to her room. I’d forgotten she had her own space. She’d been in mine all afternoon, and I liked her there. I liked being able to hold her and know she was safe.
“You heading to bed?” I sounded like a lovesick pup, but I couldn’t muster up enough energy to care.
“I guess so?” Instead of a statement, the words came out in question form. She looked down at her hands, and I wondered if I was misreading the signals.
“You could stay with me?” Her head jerked up, and I lifted my hands in defense. “No funny business. But I did promise to hold you.”
Her smile warmed her face, affection lighting her eyes. “That sounds good.”
She looped her arm through mine, and we walked back down the hall to my room. I closed the door softly behind us and turned the lamp on next to the bed. It shone a soft, warm glow over the room.
Lydia climbed into bed on the opposite side, and I slid under the covers next to her. I hated sleeping in jeans, but I didn’t want her to feel pressured or that I was trying to put the moves on her. She must have read my mind.
“Those jeans can’t be comfortable to sleep in.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not. Just take them off. You’ve got underwear on—right?”
I chuckled softly. “Yeah.”
“Okay, then. I think I can keep my hands to myself.”
She looked so determined that I hated to tell her that it wasn’t her hands I was worried about. I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down my legs, then dropped them to the floor next to the bed.
“Happy?”
Lydia giggled and turned on her side, scooting back until her backside was nestled against me. I managed to hold in my groan at her nearness and slipped my arms around her, holding her tightly.
My eyes grew heavy as I started to drift off to sleep. Lydia’s soft words roused me from my near slumber. “Thank you.”
Instead of answering, I just tugged her tighter against my body and closed my eyes, letting sleep take me.