Oscar
I was afraid to open my eyes, terrified I’d been dreaming again about her. How many times in the past had I woken from a dream that felt too real, only to find my arms empty and bare?
Peeking with one eye, I found Ivy sleeping soundly, still snuggled next to me. I could smell her musky scent, mixed with mine from our lovemaking. I’d never get enough of her.
I knew I still had a lot to make up for, regardless of whether or not I’d had a choice in the matter when I’d left her, to fulfill my duty with the army. The fact remained, I’d made a decision about our future without consulting her all those years ago. My need to provide for my family had driven me to join the military, and I’d not once paused to listen to Ivy’s desires or concerns. I hadn’t treated her like a partner. Instead, I’d treated her like an obligation.
I’d never make that mistake again.
Ivy shifted in her sleep, the cover slipping below her breasts. Man, she was beautiful. So gorgeous, I had to blink to make sure she was real. Really there. Really mine. It had been music to my ears to hear her say that she wanted to be with me. Not just physically, but that we were going to make this marriage thing work. And that required me making amends for not being there for her when our son died.
I knew there was very little I could do to atone for that kind of pain, but I would spend the rest of my life trying.
It hit me then that we hadn’t used protection last night. The thought hadn’t even occurred to me, since I’d been celibate for so long. I wondered if she was on birth control, but there was no way I was going to ask. I didn’t want her to think I’d be upset if she became pregnant. Although, I knew that having some time to ourselves without adding a baby in the mix wasn’t a bad idea. Perhaps we should talk about birth control for the future, just to give ourselves time to get to know each other, again. Still, the thought that we might have created a life last night wasn’t exactly upsetting. I’d be damned happy to have her carry my child again. And this time, I’d be with her for every single moment.
Ivy blinked her eyes and sat up with a start. “What time is it?”
“About nine thirty.”
“Oh, damn! Crap! Cami!”
She jumped up and wrapped the robe around her waist, then glanced down at her attire and shook her head.
“I can’t go traipsing through the dorms like this. Everyone is going to know what we were doing!”
I grinned, wishing she’d crawl back in bed so I could have my way with her all over again.
“And that’s a bad thing?” I grabbed at her hips to bring her back down on the bed, but she slapped at my hands.
“Yes, it’s a bad thing. I don’t want Cami knowing about—” She motioned between us with her hand. “Us… until we know what this is.”
I tugged harder, and Ivy fell against the bed and tumbled on top of me. I cupped her face in my hands and brought her eyes level with mine.
“This is you and me for the rest of our lives, working our asses off to make it work. This is forever, Ivy. I’ve lost eleven years with you—I refuse to lose a single year more.”
Her gaze softened from frantic worry to peace and serenity, and she leaned her forehead against mine. “You promise?”
“I promise.” I lifted my chin and kissed the top of her head, pulling back and bringing her to sit on my lap.
“I know I have a lot to make up for, but I will strive every day of my life to make you happy. I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.”
Ivy leaned her head against my chest and sighed contentedly, then she lifted up and motioned to her very short, very flimsy robe.
“I still can’t go out in this. I’m barely covered. What if Levi is out there?”
She had a point there. I reluctantly let go of her and went to my drawers, pulling out a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt.
“You can put these on.”
Ivy held the shirt up to her nose and inhaled, closing her eyes. “It smells like you.”
“You like the way I smell?”
She smiled shyly and nodded. I went to her, unable to keep my hands off her. “I like the way you smell, too.”
Dipping my head, I caught her lips in a tender kiss, taking my time, reminding her of the passion between us. When she arched into me, trying to get closer, I took full advantage, taking the shirt and pants from her hand and dropping them to the floor. The sash to her robe was next, as I undid it, letting it slide off her body. Then I scooped her up and took her back to bed.
Cami could wait.
***
Ivy had just returned to her room, sneaking out like a naughty teenager, when I got a phone call. I picked up the phone and saw Lydia’s name across the screen.
“Hey.”
“Oscar, Lola is awake. I know you guys wanted to talk to her.”
“That’s great news. How’s she doing?”
“She’s fever-free and feeling much better. I explained how she arrived and about Ivy’s connection to you guys. She’d like to speak to Ivy.”
“Okay. I’ll let her know. We can be there in about an hour.”
“Sounds good. See you then.”
I left my room and made my way swiftly to Ivy’s. Knocking on the door, I waited for her to open it. Only, it was Cami who appeared, not Ivy. And she wore a mischievous grin on her face.
“Well, hello, brother-in-law. Didn’t get enough of my sister last night?”
I sputtered at Cami’s boldness, my face growing hot under her scrutiny.
“Um, I’m not sure how to answer that. Is Ivy around?”
Cami chuckled and shook her head. “She’s in the shower. I’ll tell her you stopped by.”
“Actually, can you tell her Lola’s awake and is asking to talk to her? I’m going to take her to the clinic to visit.”
“Of course.”
“Thanks.”
I turned to go, when Cami stopped me. “Oscar.”
“Yeah?”
“Make her happy.”
I nodded and smiled grimly. “I’ll die trying.”
Thirty minutes later, Ivy exited her room, her cheeks pink, her eyes bright, and a smile on her face.
I stood, meeting her halfway across the room and taking her hands in mine. “You ready?”
She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes. “Yep.”
Taking her hand, we walked to the car outside and found Levi and Cruz standing next to it waiting on us.
“Ivy, you look refreshed this morning. Did you sleep well?” Levi grinned widely, and I wondered how he had any idea what we’d been up to the night before.
Ivy blushed before answering. “Like a baby.”
Levi chuckled and got in the back seat followed by Cruz, while I caught Ivy’s embarrassed gaze over the top of the car. I winked, and she blushed brighter.
Cruz and Ryder kept the jokes rolling as we drove to the clinic. I worried it might be a bit too much too soon for Ivy, but she just laughed along with them. At one point, she quipped, “You guys sure are concerned about our love life. Not getting any?”
Levi burst out laughing, while Cruz scowled, grumbling under his breath. “My wife’s been a little busy lately. She was out before her head hit the pillow last night.”
There was a quiet moment before the rest of us rolled with laughter. Cruz couldn’t help a smile at his own expense, and I was struck by how easily Ivy fitted in with the rest of the guys. I had no idea where we would go from here, but I knew I’d go anywhere with her. If she wanted to move to LA and try her hand at acting again, I’d go with her, but I silently hoped she’d want to stay here in Atlanta.
The one constant would be us—our marriage, our love. Nothing and no one would separate us again.
I pulled into the clinic and walked Ivy in, Cruz breaking off to Lydia’s office. I wondered if he’d convince her to sneak away for a few minutes of private time, and smiled at the memory of his scowling face in the car.
Ivy rushed into Lola’s room as soon as Lydia opened the door for her, and we found Lola sitting upright in bed, a tray in front of her containing a bowl of soup and some crackers. She looked so much better than when we’d found her.
“Lola, do you remember me?” Ivy asked as she sat down next to her bed.
“Yes, of course. From that night.” Her face fell. “The night everything changed.” She shook her head. “They told me we were the only survivors.”
Lola’s eyes filled with tears, and Ivy reached out to take her hand. They shared a moment, and I felt a little awkward standing there watching. However, we needed to know if Lola knew anything about the Caballeros and their plan for the virus, so I stayed, waiting for an opportunity to ask the questions that were burning in my mind.
“We were. I’m so glad you survived. I’m so sorry for what you went through.”
“Lydia said the people who found us, they also figured out who I was and how to contact my parents. I can’t thank you enough.”
It had taken Ryder several days, but he’d finally found Lola’s mom and dad, who were traveling outside the country. Once he’d determined who Lola was, he’d had to track her parents down overseas. They would be arriving in the next day or so.
“It’s no problem. Lola, I want you to meet my, um, husband, Oscar Cortada.”
I inwardly smiled at Ivy’s tripping over the word husband. I would never tire of hearing her say it.
Lola’s eyes traveled to me, and she nodded. “Nice to meet you.”
“He’d like to ask you some questions, along with another friend named Levi. They need your helping finding the people who did this to us.”
Lola’s spine straightened, and she lifted her chin. “I’ll do whatever it takes to catch those bastards.”
Ivy smiled over her shoulder at me and nodded. I stepped outside to tell Levi to come in. We walked closer to the bed and sat down in the chairs Lydia had brought in for us.
“Lola, I’m Levi Slater. We work for the president, in a roundabout way. We’re trying to catch the men who did this to you and keep them from killing more innocent people. What do you remember about your time at the compound?”
“The last thing I remember is the night they infected me with the virus. They had already given me one injection a couple of days before, and I was starting to feel pretty terrible. I’d spoken to Ivy in the cafeteria room, and one of the guards had hit me. He took me down the hall to the other building and they strapped me into a chair.”
Lola closed her eyes and inhaled, and Ivy’s hand went back to hers.
“If you’re not ready, we can wait.”
She shook her head. “No, I’m fine. I need to talk about it.”
After a couple of moments, Lola spoke again. “Dr. K came in, smiling from ear to ear. He was excited. Said they’d finally perfected the virus. He apologized that I was going to die, as if it were a trivial thing. Like one might apologize for the mess in their home. He explained that this virus had no cure and that it was tailored to their preferred demographic.”
“Preferred demographic?” Levi glanced at me. “What does that mean?”
“At first I didn’t know. They were always really cryptic around me. When he injected me with the virus, it took hold almost immediately. Within minutes, I was wishing I was dead. Apparently, they thought I was dying, too. Medical personnel swarmed me, trying to save my life, I assumed. I remember floating, almost as if I’d left my body and was watching the whole thing from above it.”
Lola’s description was creepy as hell, and it hit me that, had we not arrived when we did, she would most certainly be dead.
“Then the alarms sounded, and the medical personnel ran from the room. Dr. K and another man stood there watching me, speaking in low voices. Dr. K told the man that the virus was ready. The other man, an older man, handsome, with salt-and-pepper black hair, had an air of urgency about him that teetered on the edge of angry. He said that it had to be perfect. Had to specifically target their ideal demographic.”
Chills ran up my spine at the implications of what Lola was sharing.
“Dr. K answered that ages seventeen to thirty would be mostly impacted, effectively wiping out the future of America. The other man was giddy, even though he was angry that the compound had been infiltrated. He said they would get the virus ready to disseminate. Four weeks. He’d given Dr. Bellamy a time limit to create the antidote, and the incentive to get it done.”
“Which must be why they want Ivy and need her alive. They require her antibodies to the virus as well as the natural immunity her blood contains. Only, they must have discovered that the virus they gave you wasn’t lethal if treated with the right cocktail of anti-plague drugs. So, it’s essential they have Ivy, to ensure they have an effective virus that is only treatable with the antidote they make with Ivy’s blood.” I was filled with rage that these people had played God with my wife’s life. Had she not been somewhat of a freak of nature with her immunity, she’d be dead right now.
Lola nodded, fear evident in her eyes. “They plan to disseminate the virus to hangouts where young people gather. Once people start dying, there will be a push for an antidote. One they will already have and can charge enormous amounts of money for.”
“Geez. But why? I mean, besides the obvious money and power. What is driving them?” Ivy asked, clearly upset with the turn of events. We all were.
“I’m not sure. There was an urgency to their voices, and I got the feeling they only talked about that part because they were trying to figure out what to do, with the building being under attack. And because they thought I was as good as dead.”
“Anything else that sticks out to you?” Levi asked.
“No. They kept talking about this Dr. Bellamy. He seemed to be the one working with Dr. K on the antidote.”
“Thanks, Lola.” Levi stood, shaking her hand.
“I’m so glad you’re alive.” Ivy squeezed her hand tightly.
“Me too. I keep seeing him in my dreams. Dr. K.”
“He’ll never hurt you again. We made sure of it.” I may not have done everything right in my life, but killing the bastard doctor was definitely at the top of my finest achievements. The assurance I was able to give this young woman and my wife was worth it.
“He’s dead?” Lola’s hopeful eyes darted to Ivy’s.
“Yeah, he’s dead,” Ivy assured her. Relief spread across her face as she sank back against the bed, tired again after reliving her most terrifying memories.
Ivy stood, taking my hand as she walked to the foot of Lola’s bed. “We’ll bring some dinner by. How does that sound?”
Lola grinned widely. “That sounds absolutely amazing.”
Ivy squeezed my fingers, and I followed after her out the door. “Let’s take a walk.”
The clinic was located in a sketchier part of town, but there was still a beautiful park across the street from it, and Ivy led us along a quiet path.
Finally, she turned to me, her eyes misty with tears.
“What’s wrong?” I stopped walking and gripped her arms tightly.
She shook her head. “I just realized how close I was to dying. We would have never had last night. And, Oscar, I don’t want to waste any more time.”
She raised her hand to cup my cheek and smiled so sweetly, it nearly broke my heart. “I love you. So much. I never stopped loving you.”
I grasped her hand tightly in mine, closing my eyes as I leaned in to her touch. “I love you, too. I was always faithful to you, Ivy. From day one, I kept our vows. I wish I’d come to you sooner.”
“We can’t go back. We can only move forward.”
She was right; we couldn’t go back. But there was something we needed to discuss, something that would be a shadow over our relationship unless we got it out in the open and dealt with it. I pulled her over to a nearby bench and sat down, keeping both her hands tucked into mine.
“I need to say something. About… about Zachary.”
Pain flashed in her eyes before she pulled her hands back. “What about him?”
“I’m so sorry, Ivy. I should have been there. But more than that—I never should have gone into the army. At least, I shouldn’t have made that decision without your consent.”
“Oscar—”
“No—just let me get this out. I didn’t treat you like my wife and partner. I handled the situation as if the solution rested solely on my shoulders. I took it for granted that you would just follow my lead, without giving you an opportunity to help us figure out another way.”
Ivy was quiet, looking off into the distance, and I wasn’t sure if she was even with me anymore. Perhaps she was lost in her thoughts; thoughts of Zachary, thoughts of being alone.
“I was so scared. It was supposed to be a regular appointment that day—hear his little heart beating, measure my belly, talk about the upcoming birth. I knew immediately something was wrong. She placed the instrument on my belly, and I only heard the whooshing of my own heart. No second fluttering as I’d heard before. The doctor’s face was pinched and concerned as she’d stood to leave, telling me she’d be right back. After a few moments, she pulled in an ultrasound machine. At that point, I was terrified. I’d gone to the appointment by myself, not thinking I’d need any support. I started thinking back to when I’d felt the baby move. I hadn’t felt him at all that morning. I thought back to the night before and realized I’d not felt him then either. Fear like I’d never known flooded my body, and I shook violently as the doctor squeezed the warm gel on my belly. I saw his little face, his tiny hands and feet. But there was no heartbeat.”
Tears flowed down her face as she spoke, mirroring my own. It had been years since I’d cried over Zachary. The first time had been after I’d received Ivy’s letter. And now, it was as if that wound had been opened all over again.
“She told me the baby was dead, but because I was so far along, we’d have to deliver him. I went through hours of labor only to deliver a baby I’d never get to take home with me.” She turned tortured eyes to me, begging me to understand. “He was perfect, Oscar. The tiniest, most perfect little fingers and toes. When they came to take him from me, I fought them. It was too much to think he wasn’t alive. Would never be alive. All the birthdays we’d never celebrate, the firsts we’d never experience. Finally, I let him go. Mom took pictures of his little feet and hands and clipped a lock of his dark, curly hair and placed it into a locket for me.” She tugged at the necklace around her neck. “I never take it off.”
I placed my hands on top of hers, peering into her tearful eyes. “I’m so, so sorry I wasn’t there.” A sob broke off my words, and I struggled to get control. Ivy’s face fell as she took in my sorrow. “I’m so sorry, Ivy. When I got the letter, I was stunned. Heartbroken. I’d lost the two most important things in my life, and yet, I couldn’t find a way to make it right. I had no choice but to finish my enlistment with the army. And I wouldn’t subject you to a life you no longer wanted to live.”
I thought back to those days and how hopeless I’d felt.
“I’d considered coming for you after my first tour was done. I came home and spoke with your mother. She told me you were doing well, living your dream in Hollywood. That you’d finally found peace. I didn’t want to cause you any more pain. So, I stayed away, fully expecting the divorce papers after that trip.”
It hurt me that my last conversation with Ivy’s mom had been about my failure as a husband. Although, now that I thought back to it, I’d wondered if she was telling me that so that I’d find my own peace, not to discourage me from reaching out to Ivy. Maybe she’d known that we weren’t ready to be together. Flora was a wise woman, after all. She’d always known us better than we’d known ourselves.
“Only, the papers never came. During my second tour, I lost a dear friend—a man who’d drawn me out of my sorrow and given me hope. After he died, I knew I had to come find you. But once I was out and working with Shadow Force, I was scared. Terrified you wouldn’t want me after all this time. I’d planned to come find you, once I had everything perfect for you.”
I gripped her hands tightly in my own, begging her to understand. “When I saw your picture in that file, I realized my mistake. Nothing will ever be perfect, and life is too short to wait for something that will never come. I need you in my life, Ivy Bell. I want to live out my life with you, have babies with you, if that’s what you want. I want to spend my life making up for the last eleven years. I can’t change the past, but I can certainly promise you a future of love and happiness.”
Ivy let herself relax into my arms, both of our tears now melding together. “I love you, Oscar.”
“Forgive me for the past, Ivy. Tell me you’ll spend the rest of your life with me. Please.”
“Of course I forgive you. There’s nothing to forgive. You didn’t cause Zachary’s death. It was just one of those things that happened. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, too. I want to have your babies. I want to honor the memory of our son.”
My mouth crushed down on hers with such intensity and passion, I was scared I’d hurt her. But I shouldn’t have worried; Ivy was always right there with me. Kissing me back with such desire and promise.
I had no idea what the future held, but I knew that, with Ivy by my side, we’d conquer it together.
We walked back to the clinic, hand in hand, taking in the peace of the moment. We reached the door to the facility, and I turned to face Ivy, pushing her hair back away from her face.
“Go on in. I’ll just be a few minutes. Need to call Ryder and let him know what Lola told us.”
Ivy paused before turning back and placing her lips on mine. “Don’t be long. I think we need to go back to your room and celebrate.”
“Indeed.” I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her tight against me. I deepened the kiss, my tongue brushing softly against hers, the tension building between us. I groaned as I pulled away.
“You’re going to be the death of me.”
Ivy giggled and squeezed my hand before disappearing inside the clinic. Grinning, I took my phone from my pocket to dial Ryder, when a noise from the side of the building, like a rock skittering across the pavement, caught my attention.
Pocketing my phone, I pulled my gun from behind my back and crept to the alley running between the two structures. The lane was quiet, only a black cat creeping around the garbage. He stared at me and meowed then scampered away. I blew out a breath of relief, putting my gun away.
The air shifted behind me, and I whirled around, reaching for my gun at my back, but it was too late. Pain split my head wide open, and my vision faded to black.