Chapter Twenty-Two

Scotty lived in an older area of town, full of two-story yellow brick houses and gardens that looked like they didn’t dare put a leaf out of place. Each sidewalk lined up precisely with the front door, and every driveway was banished to the rear, off the alleyway. Asphalt had no place in these picture-perfect yards. The Home and Garden Society enforced that rule with an iron fist.

“Which one is Scotty’s house?” Ivy asked, looking down the row. I pointed out one in the middle, reconsidered, and slid my hand to point at the one on the right. “Really?”

“Ninety percent sure it’s that one,” I said. “No, you know what, ninety-five percent sure.” Blue had been navigating last time we were here, so I couldn’t be faulted for a fuzzy memory. Now that we had our target, it was time to infiltrate. Scoping out the street, I made note of the sole car taking up space three doors over. Our path was clear.

We made our way down the back alley, crouching low to keep our heads below the fence line. I counted off the yards until I realized I’d never checked how many houses in we’d need to go before we started. My partner bumped into me as I stopped short.

“Is this it?”

“Yes,” I said, popping my head up to check out the back of the house—looked close enough, anyway.

Ivy took one look at my face and scowled. “You forgot to count, didn’t you?”

“I was testing to see if you were counting,” I said.

“I can see why you called me,” said a voice from the shed behind us. Toby came into view, shaking his head. “You definitely need my help.”

“Hey, Toby,” Ivy said, grabbing on to my sleeve. “Howard, can we talk for a minute? Over here?” She dragged me back up the alley, out of Toby’s hearing. “Why are we using Toby for this? I thought we were supposed to be curbing the criminal element in Grantleyville.”

“We need someone with his skill set if we have to break into Scotty’s house.”

“Break into—we’re not breaking into Scotty’s house,” Ivy hissed.

“If I see Spartacus in there, we are,” I said, waving away the rest of her protests. “Ivy, we’re so close to cracking this case, I can taste it. We use Toby, we’re in, we’re out, problem solved.”

“I don’t like it,” she said. “This doesn’t feel right.”

“You’re the one who wanted to stop trading in favors,” I said. “I’m clearing them off the books. He owes us for not turning him in, and now we’re square. Don’t worry about it.” I walked back over to Toby. “It’s this one here,” I said, pointing to the wooden fence.

“Up and over, eh?” He lugged a garbage can around and scrambled on top. Grabbing onto the top of the fence, he hauled himself onto the narrow edge. “You coming?”

Gritting my teeth, I climbed up on the can and took a deep breath. Sweat pooled down my back. Good thing my lucky coat was extra-absorbent.

“Howard,” Toby whispered, “what’s the holdup?”

“He doesn’t like heights,” Ivy said from behind me.

Toby leapt nimbly off the fence, making a tidy landing in the snow. “Come on,” he said. “It’s, like, four feet.”

“Not all of us are part spider monkey,” I said, hiking myself on top of the fence. I clung on with all four limbs as I tried to gently tilt my body to the other side.

“Today, Howard.” Toby tugged on the end of my coat. The sudden pull caught me off guard and I fell the rest of the way, landing in a heap at Toby’s feet.

I glared up at him. “That was not helpful.”

“Well, it helped you make it over the fence, so I’m going to have to disagree.” He held out a hand, and I used it to haul myself up.

Ivy stayed on the other side to keep watch while Toby and I made our way to the back porch. Keeping close to the winter-wrapped foliage, we looked for signs of life in the house. Spartacus was nowhere in sight.

I tried the back door. Locked. “Think you can pick this?”

“Sure.” Toby examined the lock and then squinted over my shoulder at a faint rustling sound. “What kind of dog did you say Spartacus was?”

“Pug.”

“So, not a gigantic, angry-looking Rottweiler that sleeps in that dog kennel I thought was a shed and who is now on his way over here with a mouth full of teeth?”

“What—?” A low growl cut me off. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a dark brown muzzle nosing toward the pocket of my lucky coat.

“Howard!” Ivy’s head popped up over the back fence. “What’s going on?”

“Bit of a situation here,” I said through clenched teeth.

“What’s in your pocket?” Toby asked.

“Pack o’ Juicy.”

“Toss it to him,” Toby said.

“You can’t give gum to a dog,” Ivy hollered. The three of us turned to look at her, arms hanging over the side of the fence. She must have been standing on her tiptoes on the garbage can. “It’s poisonous.”

“Well, it’s give the dog the gum or let him chew on me,” I said. Ivy remained quiet while the beast continued to snuffle at my coat, a light growl humming in his throat. “Any ideas at this point are welcome.”

“I got it!” Ivy snapped her fingers and disappeared.

“Good dog,” Toby said, receiving a sidelong glare and a full growl for his efforts.

“Toby?”

“Yup?”

“Don’t talk.”

A rattling crash signaled the return of Ivy. “Okay,” she said. “I’ve got half a date bar from lunch. I’ll call Mr. Pups and you guys go over the side fence to the next yard.”

“Mr. P—you named it?”

“I’m creating a bond so he’ll listen to me. Don’t question my lifesaving methods, Howard Wallace!”

I was gonna die.

“Okay, fine. Do it.” I looked at Toby. “Wait until he’s far enough away and then book it.”

Ivy flourished the date bar over the fence. “Here, Mr. Pups! Good boy! Puppy want a snack? Yes, you do! Yes, you do-o!”

Mr. Pups, the hellhound, barked and loped over to Ivy. When he reached the far end of the yard, I shoved Toby, and we started running. Mr. Pups, sensing that all was not right, skidded to a stop in front of Ivy. His eyes darted between us and the treat. Toby reached the fence and started hauling himself up over the top. With unexpected grace, Mr. Pups leapt up and snatched the date bar out of Ivy’s hand. She shrieked, caught off guard by the sudden move, and toppled backward off the trash can.

Triumph oozing from every pore, the beast tossed the bar in the air and swallowed it in one gulp. His snarls and barks heralded my impending doom. Ropelike strips of saliva flicked through the air as he began his charge.

“Give me your hand!” Fingers flapped in front of my face, and I looked up to see Toby sitting on the fence. I grabbed hold and he pulled with all his might until I was flopped over the fence, legs flapping in the wind. “Here he comes!” Toby shouted. He threw himself into the other yard, taking me with him. The fence shuddered as Mr. Pups slammed against it, but luckily it held. I lay on the ground, waiting for my heart to find its way back into my chest.

“Thanks, man,” I said, glancing over at Toby, who was also enjoying a moment of supine recuperation.

“No problem.”

Groaning as I sat up, I shook my head. We still didn’t have what we came for. I was not going to let this case get the best of me. A small whimper came from my left.

“Was that you?” I turned to Toby.

“No,” he said, flipping onto his stomach. “You said we’re looking for a pug, right?”

I followed his gaze and spotted Spartacus standing a few feet away, watching us with his odd little bug eyes. One house over the whole time. Only took a near-mauling to find him.

Our discovery was interrupted by the slow screeching of Ivy dragging her trash can over to the next fence. Three bangs and a crash later, her head came into view. “You alive?”

“Yeah. And look who we found.”

“Oh, he’s cute. OK. Are we done with this ridiculousness?”

“Yes.” Toby got himself upright and scooped up Spartacus. “Let’s go.”

“Hang on,” I said, brushing myself off as I stood. “We should try and gather some evidence.”

“First rule of crime, Howard Wallace,” he said. “When you get your goods, get gone.”

Spartacus chose that moment to let out a wild flurry of barks. The back door of the house opened and Scotty stood there with Ashi, looking more confused than usual. “Spartacus, what’s wrong bo—Howard?”

“See?” Toby shoved Spartacus into my arms. “Consider us even now.” He sprinted to the back fence and flipped over it without a moment’s hesitation.

“’Bye, Toby,” Ivy called out from her perch. “Make good choices.”

“Howard?” Scotty stepped forward. “What are you doing?”

“My job,” I said, backing slowly away toward my partner.

Ashi held up her hands, shaking her head. “You can’t. You don’t understand.”

“I understand that this dog isn’t yours and you’re causing a lot of people some serious grief.”

“They started it,” she said. “We’re doing what needs to be done. Ivy, let us explain.”

I passed Spartacus up to Ivy. She patted him as he licked at her chin and wriggled in her arms. “Look,” she said, resting her elbow on the fence, “we know that you guys didn’t do this for kicks, and we want to hear you out.”

Scotty and Ashi took a step off the back porch, shoulders drooping in relief.

“But we have a duty to our clients,” I said. “We need to get Spartacus back to his owner.”

“No, you can’t,” Ashi cried out.

“I like you guys plenty, but you’ve been lying to us this whole time.” I adjusted my lucky coat, taking a minute to collect my thoughts. “We need to take care of our business first. Spartacus can be returned without involving you, and then we can help you out of whatever mess you’re in.”

“Howard, please wait.” Scotty’s voice went up a notch, and the back door opened again.

“Are you guys coming back in with Sparty? I need to get home soon.”

Ivy’s sharp intake of breath and my ears told me what I still needed to see with my own eyes. I looked up at the porch. Miles Fletcher, in the flesh, pulling the door shut behind him.

“Oh,” he said. “Hi.”

“Hi? Hi?” I scoffed. “We catch you in the middle of a criminal act, and you say ‘hi’?”

Miles joined Scotty and Ashi at edge of the yard. “Criminal act? Howard, come on.”

“Aiding and abetting a pugnapping, obstructing an investigation, evidence tampering.” I listed off the points. “Want me to continue?”

“No,” Miles said. “I want you to listen.”

“Yeah, he’s helping us,” Scotty said, running a hand over his miserable nose.

“He’s helping you? Ivy, I changed my mind. We’re going to hear them out now.”

“Hey,” she murmured to me. I looked back to see her tucking a shivering Spartacus inside her coat. “I think coming back later might be a better idea.”

“No, no, no,” I said, spinning back to Miles and his gang. “I want to hear all of the great reasons you guys have for destroying someone’s reputation and leading us on a wild goose chase.”

“Miles only got involved today,” Scotty said. “He caught me in the middle of an allergy attack and figured out that I had Spartacus. I was too tired to lie about it. His hair gets everywhere. I can’t sleep with all of this sneezing.”

The fact that Miles had put those clues together only added to the insult burning in my gut. “I’m a little confused,” I said, facing him. “You’re helping Scotty and Ashi with what, exactly?”

“Hiding Spartacus,” Ashi supplied. “Our parents were getting suspicious.”

“And this was going to be before or after you helped us find Spartacus and brought his abductors to Mr. Williams to clear your good friend Carl?”

Scotty and Ashi began to shift on their feet, shooting Miles some nervous side-eye as he stayed silent.

“Which one is it? Are you helping us or helping them? Or are they both lies?” I said, stepping nose to nose with Miles. “And you’re still just helping yourself?”

“I was trying to fix it,” he burst out. “I was trying to help you and Carl and when I found out Scotty was involved, I thought I could help him, too.”

“Stop lying.” I took a deep breath and forced myself to lower my voice. A broken laugh escaped instead. “I am sick and tired of people lying to me.”

“You’re in the wrong line of work then,” Miles muttered.

I lost the volume control battle. “You think this is the time for jokes?”

“Howard,” Ivy called from the fence. “I think we should go.”

Miles reached out and gripped my sleeve. “How do I convince you I’m not lying?”

“You let us leave,” I said, shaking my arm loose. “Let us work on cleaning up this mess. All three of you.”

“But—” Ashi shot a stricken look at Spartacus, and Scotty put a hand on her shoulder.

“Let him go, Ashi. Howard can make it right.”

I spun on my heel and strode toward the fence. Ivy hopped off the can, making room for me as I flopped over. We walked down the alley, and no one made a move to follow. I couldn’t get the three faces out of my mind. Ashi, blinking with fear, Scotty, full of trust, and Miles, resigned to his fate. This case had gotten three times messier in the span of one break-in.

“Howard . . .” Ivy began, and I shook my head.

“Not now,” I said. “We deal with it at the office.”

Ivy nodded as our feet slid down icy sidewalks. Spartacus sighed from his spot inside her coat. We’d found our man—well, dog. But somehow, it didn’t feel like a victory.