When Eve arrived at Texas A&M to begin her veterinary studies, it was like she’d crossed into a brand-new sparkling world in another dimension. There were young and handsome men everywhere, but there were just as many beautiful women. On campus. In her classes. Eve’s roommate, Marisol, was elated that men were so interested in Eve. She regularly got asked out and Marisol hoped Eve would give her the “castoffs.”
At first, heart bruised by Jackson’s explainable but abrupt exit out of town, she’d stayed to herself. The fact that Eve turned down all the men asking her out seemed to make her interesting, somehow. But it was what she’d become used to, in Stone Ridge. Men were always chasing the few available women. Marisol eventually became quite popular, dating all the men who’d first asked Eve out and been turned down. That’s when she figured out what Marisol meant by “castoffs.”
Eventually Marisol talked Eve into going out on a double date with her current boyfriend’s (they seemed to change weekly) roommate. After much prodding and reminders that she’d already been in school for three years but dated no one, Eve agreed. It was time to get out there. She’d heard nothing from Jackson, not that she’d expected to. His pride would have prevented him from reaching out, and her shame and regret kept her.
There would be no point, because they couldn’t ever come back from a public breakup like theirs. Once in a while Sadie would come to visit and report back on town happenings. Never a word about or from Jackson, but then again almost no one talked to Sadie anymore, either, knowing she was still close with Eve.
Bobby Butler, the first man she’d dated, was so kind and sweet and he eventually became Eve’s lover. Not quite like her and Jackson, there were never any sparks or crackling chemistry. And no fighting, because every time she argued about something or spoke her mind, Bobby laughed and agreed with her. Eve chalked up their lack of chemistry to differences in people. Bobby was a great and loyal friend. But she was only a little bit sad when after a few months he switched majors and dropped out of the program.
Not long after, she’d met Matt Friedenbach. He was nothing if not persistent, and Eve was flattered by his attention. Part of the football team, he was incredibly popular, handsome, and athletic. Everyone seemed to like him. She still didn’t want to go out with him and told him so. He seemed shocked, but instead of backing down became even more persistent. He was an athlete, after all, and Eve figured that she’d become a kind of challenge.
But one Sunday at the Piggly Wiggly, she’d spied the cover of Nashville Up-and-Coming. There in splendid, bright color inside the pages of the tabloid was a picture of Jackson walking down a sidewalk hand in hand with a breathtaking blonde. The paper referred to Jackson as the new husband of CMA Award–winning star Winona James.
She nearly got sick right in the check-out line, a stone sliding over her throat to close off her airway. Her legs were weak and trembling. She’d wanted to get out in the world and experience life outside of Stone Ridge, but she’d been the one to remain stagnant. Maybe because some part of her still believed with all her heart that she’d always love Jackson Carver.
But Jackson clearly moved on.
“Are you gettin’ that?” The check-out girl asked, reaching to ring up the magazine.
Eve was still holding on to the paper like it was welded to her hand. “N-no. I don’t want this.” She tucked it back into the rack with all the others and somehow managed to pay for her groceries and get out to the safety of her car.
Hands shaking, Eve gripped the steering wheel but that was as far as she got out of the parking lot. She kept seeing the photo of Jackson and his wife. His wife. Lord, she was so stupid. Why hadn’t she moved on? She’d decided to let him go, and he’d moved on, which made all the sense in the world. No one would blame him, and neither should she.
It occurred to her at that very moment that she’d been waiting all this time for him to come after her. To fight for her. To assure her that he wanted her just as much as he wanted music. But if he hadn’t done any of those things by now, he never would. He’d gotten what he wanted after all. To be free of her. His teenage sweetheart.
Eve searched for the phone in her backpack and pulled it out. She went to one of Matt’s many missed calls and pressed the call back button.
“Hey,” Matt answered.
“Do you still want to go out with me?”
It only took two dates for Eve to realize that Matt was not the man for her. He’d behaved himself fairly well on their first date. They’d gone to the local grill and hangout, where among his entourage of friends he made her feel like the only woman in the room. Held her hand, pulled her close and tucked her next to him. Tenderly pressed a kiss to her temple. He’d laughed when she spoke up and told him he was wrong about this or that, as if shocked anyone would disagree with him. Eve could feel every woman’s eyes on her, and she kept thinking of Jackson, wishing he could somehow see this display. Look at her, the modern, liberated woman getting out in the world. She took a selfie with Matt and texted it to Sadie, hoping somehow through the magic of the internet, mutual connections, and social media it might eventually get back to Jackson.
On their next date at a frat party, Matt became very drunk and very gropey. She yelled at him to settle down and keep his hands to himself. But because she was so worried about him on the road, she drove him back to his dorm. He expressed his gratitude by unzipping his pants and inviting her to go down on him.
“Are you kidding me? Get out of my car. You’re stinkin’ drunk.”
She went to find one of his friends to help get him out of her car, and loudly declared that she didn’t date creeps. When Eve got home, she texted Sadie to please delete the photo she’d sent of the handsome football player. She would never be seeing him again. Matt sent flowers in apology the next day, called and texted, even bugged Marisol to put in a good word. A small part of Eve was flattered. Another, much bigger, part was annoyed.
“You’re just the kind of old-fashioned girl I need in my life. Please give me another chance,” he’d said.
Old fashioned? Because she wouldn’t go down on him on the second date? She informed Matt that she’d decided to take a vow of abstinence for the rest of the year and concentrate on her studies.
This wasn’t a lie.
Matt didn’t listen.
When the texts and voice messages got nastier, Marisol sat Eve down and leveled with her. “Honey, he’s stalking you.”
It wasn’t easy to frighten Eve. She’d grown up in a town filled with strong women who taught her a thing or two about standing her ground. With the kind of men who would never hurt a woman.
“He’s just mad and not used to hearing ‘no’ from a woman. Soon he’ll find someone else.”
But according to the grapevine, Matt had already found someone else. Still, the nasty calls and text messages continued. One particularly threatening text finally frightened Eve enough that she agreed with Marisol’s advice. She’d have to report Matt to the campus police. On an early spring afternoon, Eve had just finished eating lunch when someone knocked on her door.
She opened it to find Matt, his blue eyes nearly black with fury, his lips curled into an unnatural sneer. Her last memory was of Matt’s huge fist before everything went black.
When she woke up in the hospital, Eve was surrounded by her mother, Marisol, and Sadie. Eve got the rest of the story in small bits and pieces. Marisol interrupted the attack, chasing Matt off. He’d been arrested hours later. Eve was brought to the hospital unconscious. She’d suffered a severe concussion and several broken ribs. Two black and swollen eyes.
Eventually, she would come to find out that the hearing loss in her left ear was permanent.
But she’d survived.
Eve lay on that hospital bed for weeks healing, receiving the kind of encouragement and support everyone who’d been the victim of a vicious and unprovoked attack should receive. Teachers and classmates rallied around her and organized crowdfunding for her medical bills. Even Bobby drove up to see her. The room was filled with cards, colorful flowers, and bright balloons. Marisol and Sadie took turns reading out loud to her. Her mother wouldn’t leave her side, night or day. But crazy though it was, and even though it had been years since she’d last laid eyes on him, one thought ran through her mind and heart like it was on a time loop:
Jackson would know what to do.
Jackson would know what to say.
Lord, I miss Jackson.