Sunday was filled with last-minute wedding errands. Eve, Sadie, Brenda, Wanda, and Mima drove into Pleasanton for some serious shopping. Sadie had bridesmaid gifts to buy, and Brenda was still searching for the perfect tea-length dress to wear to the wedding. They split up into groups and divvied up the tasks.
“How about this one, Mom?” Eve held up a beautiful magenta dress with a ruffle near the hem of the skirt and a sweetheart neckline.
“That would look wonderful on you.”
Eve frowned, looking from the dress to her mother. “I’m a bridesmaid. We’re shopping for you. Remember?”
“Oh, yes, I know, but you could wear it another time. It will flatter your complexion.”
“But what about for you?” Eve twirled the dress. “Don’t you like it?”
“When I was younger, I might have worn that dress.” Brenda waved it away.
Eve sighed. This was a problem every time they shopped. Brenda didn’t believe in spending money on herself. A youngish fifty-two, she’d be happy living the rest of her life in a pair of Wranglers, boots, and a flannel shirt.
Round and round they went from one store to another, Brenda always finding a dress for Eve. Nothing that seemed “appropriate” for Brenda, a “woman of a certain age.” The requirements were lengthy and a tall order for a single dress.
“Maybe I’ll wear the same—”
Eve held up her palm. “Oh, no you don’t. We don’t need anyone jinxing this wedding.”
Brenda laughed. “Mija, a dress is just a dress. It won’t jinx Sadie’s wedding.”
“No.” Eve went hands on hips. “I refuse to allow you to wear the same dress you wore to my wedding.”
“But I’m still the same size. I wore it once. Once! There’s no place else I can wear such a fancy dress. Such a terrible waste.”
Finally, by the grace of God, Eve found a suitable dress for her mother. Best of all, it was discounted enough that Brenda agreed.
“I could wear this to church on any Sunday. It will get mileage. Good find.”
“Glad I could help.” If only she could get her mother to agree that she was worth more than a discounted dress.
But she supposed her wonderful father internalized that belief. A few hours later, all five reunited at the food court for a long lunch, then piled in Eve’s truck for the drive back to town. By the time they got back, the sun was slipping down the horizon.
Once home, Brenda gathered her bag and excused herself. After Sadie and Wanda headed home, Eve and Mima retired to the main house.
“You need anything?” Eve asked Mima, who was settled on the couch.
“We’ll eat leftovers tonight, sugar, you’ve done worn yourself out today. We all have.”
“I’ll warm them but first I’m going to go take Thimble for a ride.”
“Haven’t seen much of Jackson. With any luck, he’s helping with the calving and remembering who he really is at heart.”
Eve snorted. “And who is that?”
“A cowboy who belongs on the family ranch.”
Lord almighty. Was Eve the only one who didn’t see that happening? Jackson left small-town life behind. And she didn’t think he’d been avoiding the house due to his interest in spending time with Hank and cowboy chores.
He’s simply trying to stay away from me. She didn’t exactly blame him. But for Jackson to spend another day with his father made a gigantic statement of how much he needed to get away from her. Jackson and Hank did not usually get along. He greatly favored Lincoln in a way that used to be painful for Jackson. She had no idea how he felt about his father anymore. For all she knew, the two would now be best buddies but probably not. She’d become well acquainted with how long Jackson could hold a grudge.
Eve changed into her Wranglers and a flannel shirt pulled over a long-sleeved tee and pulled her hair up in a regular ponytail. Then she looked in the mirror and brought her hair down again to cover her ears. Not that she was ashamed of the hearing aid, but she didn’t want to invite any questions from Jackson. Not yet. He’d find out soon enough because everyone in their small town knew. Most didn’t know how she’d lost her hearing, and for the sake of those who cared about her, she hoped they never would.
She pulled on her boots and denim jacket and strode outside into the now-dark night, wondering if the quarter moon gave off enough light for a night ride with Thimble, or if she should just take a walk instead. The summer night was mild and cool, so she decided on that walk.
There were five acres between the two properties but the Carvers owned more than a hundred acres, most of them used for cattle grazing, though Lincoln was building a house for him and Sadie on a five-acre parcel.
Maybe she owed Jackson more of an explanation. She wasn’t sure how to explain the ramblings of her then-twenty-one-year-old mind to anyone, least of all Jackson. She hadn’t been exactly mature. She could try to explain, but he might not have the patience or desire to listen. Still, the level of his anger was such that she wondered what she could ever say for him to forgive her.
But there were some people Eve would never forgive, either, so she understood.
Grateful for the patch of moonlight, she continued on. She never took walks in the dark anymore, but the Double C Ranch was her safe place. She’d been attacked and beaten in the middle of the day when she lived near College Station, a large city completely unlike Stone Ridge. But every now and then a certain smell or a tiny sound could take her back. The doctor called it post-traumatic stress, which Eve thought should be a term reserved for battle-scarred soldiers.
But here she was, a twenty-eight-year-old educated woman, a veterinarian and a businesswoman, and sometimes just the sound of a man’s whistle could reduce her to a pile of raw nerves. She shouldn’t be thinking about any of this right now. Thinking caused her to dwell too much on the past and then it became this living, breathing thing that wrapped its hands around her neck and squeezed.
Her life was good now. Calm. She spent all her time with animals. Living her dream. Sure, the hours were long and the work not as satisfying as she’d once imagined it would be. She hated seeing any animal in pain, and there were those terrible times when there was nothing she could do to help.
But she’d settled into a routine and her main concern at the moment were her school loans. Then there were the health-care premiums of a self-employed woman and the hearing aid that went out on her now and then, giving waves of feedback. But she’d take care of all her bills, one by one, just like she had eventually repaid her mother and Hank Carver for the wedding that never was. Jackson tried to also, she’d heard, but his money was refused.
Eve’s gut churned, and that old, and now-familiar, emotion rose from her tight chest to her neck. Overwhelming guilt. Regret. Fear. Everyone and everything around her seemed to be forever changing. Jackson. Now Sadie. Everything would be different once Sadie and Lincoln were married. Lincoln, and the family they would raise together, would have to be Sadie’s priority. Not Eve, her single friend, and whatever old and tired memory made her weepy that week. They were supposed to have done everything together. Marry the two Carver men, have little cowboys that would play together, and go to school together. Sadie would live that part of her life without Eve. And there was no one to blame but herself.
The sudden and unexpected sound of a horse’s hooves behind her startled her and she whirled around, heart pumping. Since she only had half of an average person’s hearing, she always worried she’d heard something too late.
The figure of a man sitting atop Taco moved into the moonlight.
Jackson.
She took a breath. Both he and Taco looked pissed.
His eyes narrowed, jaw tight, he almost spit the words out. “What’s wrong with you?”