Now that her cabin on Lupine Lake was stuffed to overflowing with wedding shower presents, Sadie still needed to find one of Eve’s boxes in this holy mess. But not only did she have Eve’s boxes to go through, she would have to wade through some of Lincoln’s stuff. He’d moved in about a month ago. They’d decided to stay here until their home on the Double C Ranch was finished. Good thing he was the love of her life because he owned a lot of junk.
But Sadie needed to find Eve’s quilt.
She’d phoned Lillian immediately after learning that Eve had kept her quilt. Like Sadie, Lillian believed this quilt could be the push Eve needed to run right back into Jackson’s open arms. She only had to accept the possibilities. Jackson would take her back. His anger was nothing but displaced passion. He’d been devastated to lose Eve.
Besides, when Sadie had this task on her mind, she couldn’t think about the fact that she still hadn’t gathered up the nerve to tell Lincoln about the baby. Half of her wanted to wait until their honeymoon, the other half understood she couldn’t keep something this big from him. Eve was the only one who knew, and she’d guessed. The father should be the second one to know, and Sadie wanted to tell him.
She and Lincoln didn’t want children right away. Well, Lincoln didn’t, and Sadie agreed because she couldn’t blame him. He’d raised his younger brother and sister and wanted to wait for children of their own. Sadie knew this, agreed, and yet… She lowered her hand to her womb. They’d had a plan. But their baby wasn’t a mistake. And yet she couldn’t bring herself to tell Lincoln. Maybe she should wait to tell him on their honeymoon, where he would be the most relaxed and happiest in his life. Surely, he’d be happy after getting used to the idea.
She hoped, because it would kill her to see any hint of fear or disappointment in his eyes.
Finding the second box filled with nothing but clothes and books, just like the first, Sadie closed it back up and put it in the “done” pile.
The front door swung open and her cowboy walked inside. “Hey, baby.”
“Linc! What time is it? I lost track.” While she loved long summer days, they wreaked havoc with her internal clock. “I didn’t make dinner.”
“I’ll grill burgers.” He walked toward where she sat in the midst of a tower of boxes and set a box aside. “What are you lookin’ for?”
“The quilt.”
“It’s over by the bed.”
“Not our quilt, silly.”
“There’s another one?” He took a closer look. “Wait. Aren’t those Eve’s boxes?”
“Yes, I’m looking for something that belongs to her.”
“Why isn’t she looking for it?”
Sadie blew out an exasperated breath. Lincoln asked so many questions. He believed that Jackson had long ago moved on, but he hadn’t seen the look in Jackson’s eyes. He couldn’t take them off Eve. She recognized that look because she saw it in Lincoln’s eyes every day. Longing. Desire. Jackson just didn’t know how to forgive Eve, but he wanted to.
“Because…she doesn’t know she needs it.”
Lincoln tipped his hat and scratched his temple. “I used to be smarter than this. Why doesn’t she know she needs it?”
“It’s going to remind her. Eve’s quilt. She kept it, all these years.” Sadie’s voice broke and she covered her face. “She still loves him. Don’t you see it?”
“Hey, hey.” He pulled her into his arms. “Baby, don’t cry. You sure cry easy these days. I believe you. But I’m just not sure he feels the same way. I mean, he’s pretty angry. Rightfully so. We should just leave well enough alone.”
She buried her face in his warm neck. “Remember when you thought I could do better than you? When you broke up with me?”
“Now, I came around, didn’t I? I know you couldn’t possibly do any better than this cowboy.”
“And I know Eve won’t ever do better than Jackson.”
“Not if she doesn’t try.”
“That’s just the thing. She’s never even going to try.” The thought made Sadie ache for Eve. “I don’t want her to wind up alone for the rest of her life.”
“She won’t, baby.”
“How can you be so sure?” A single tear rolled down her cheek. All the books were sure right about all this hormone stuff.
She wished she could already be on her honeymoon where she’d find the perfect time to tell Lincoln about their baby. When they were relaxed and alone. Not when they were so stressed over the wedding, Jackson, and Eve.
Lincoln wiped the tear away with his thumb. “Okay. I’ll help. I don’t know how I can, but I’ll sure try.”
The next morning, Jackson woke before dawn for the first time in weeks, got dressed, and pulled on his boots. Winston, who’d been bunking with him every night, hovered at his feet, desperate for rubs and pats.
“Hey, old boy.” He scratched Winston’s ears until he made a happy moaning sound. “Let’s go.”
He’d slept little, not assisted by memories of Eve, the girl he’d known and loved. She’d always helped both animals and people, and sobbed when she saw an animal injured. He’d once asked her how she’d planned to be a veterinarian if she didn’t toughen up, and she’d removed her boot and thrown it at him. By then he’d become great at ducking. Eve had a fiery furnace of a temper just as warm and deep as her heart.
“Just because I cry a little doesn’t mean I’m not strong, Jackson Carver! And I’ll do it, you just watch.”
He smiled now at the memory and wanted that girl back. He wanted to see the same light in her eyes return. The fierceness. She’d obviously had it when going through school, until her illness took it out of her. As a musician, he couldn’t imagine being deaf in one ear, so maybe it hit him harder than it would others. But he ached for Eve, because she’d always worked so hard.
He walked out to the stables where he’d probably find her. Her normal routine, he’d determined, was to take Thimble for a ride before making breakfast for everyone. That girl loved horses, even if she’d never owned one. Still, Thimble thought of herself as Eve’s, and the feeling seemed mutual. Not surprisingly, Thimble was missing from her stall. Taco whinnied.
“Want to go find those two?” Jackson reached to rub his mane. “Yeah. Me too.”
Now he was talking to horses. That was usually Eve territory. Had been ever since at the age of eighteen his father discovered that horses loved the sound of Eve’s voice. She soothed them. Once, the sound of her voice calmed Taco, too. But Jackson knew the moment all that changed. He saddled Taco and hooked the lead to him, helping him out of the stable.
As he rode, he remembered the day he’d taken Taco for a devil of a ride after Eve stood him up. He’d ridden across the hills fast and hard. Stopped once, only to give Taco a break. Anger, pain, and loss fought for top billing in the chaos of emotions that rolled through Jackson on that day. Eve abandoned him, plain and simple. Same way his mother abandoned her family when Lincoln was ten and Jackson eight. Little Daisy only three.
For hours he’d wrestled with his demons. In his mind, abandonment was unforgiveable. If he hadn’t forgiven his mother, whom he’d adored, he couldn’t forgive Eve. The day before the wedding, she’d texted him a simple message:
I can’t wait to be your wife. xoxo
Then, with no explanation, she didn’t show.
He’d ridden Taco to the fence line dividing their property from the rear of the Truehart ranch, on which sat the small cottage where Eve’s mother Brenda still lived. He watched long enough to see her arrive at her home, run inside, then right back out again. No sign of Eve.
Disgusted, he’d pushed Taco to a trot, the sound of his pain turning into a loud guttural yell. He’d yelled at Eve. At Hank, who didn’t think he’d ever be a good enough cowboy until he put away that “sissy” guitar. And he’d yelled at his mother, who’d left after telling him how much she loved him.
“Good riddance, all of you!”
Taco bucked, then threw Jackson off. Skilled at falling through years of practice, Jackson rolled and avoided serious injury just feet away from a sharp rock. He’d brushed himself off and stared in confusion at Taco, who’d locked eyes with him for one interminable moment. Whoever said horses couldn’t talk never looked into the eyes of a frightened one. Taco turned and galloped off in the direction of the Carver ranch…without Jackson.
The sound he made, the pounding of his hooves against the red dirt, forever changed Jackson.
“I’m done being left behind. From now on, I’m the one who leaves. You hear that?”
Until today, the first and last time he’d talked to a horse.
On the long walk back to the ranch, Jackson made his decision. He would go to Nashville and forget Eve. This could be the only chance he’d have to change the trajectory of his life to this point, and he’d take it. He’d forget the stupid town of Stone Ridge and shake the dust off his boots. Make a name for himself so that someday Eve would come to regret her decision in a stellar way. Years from now she’d sit next to her bald and fat husband and say, “I was once engaged to that guy.” And she’d regret leaving him, same as his mother would if she ever happened to hear his name announced over the radio and recognize him as a full-grown man.
Now, Jackson rode across the plains searching for Eve and Thimble, much calmer and centered. He was no longer the boy abandoned by his mother or the young man left at the altar. He was beginning to see that it wasn’t always about him. No one made a decision in a vacuum. They made them from life experiences and beliefs which weren’t always true but were always true to them.
He tried talking to Taco once more, just in case the emotions Taco could sense flowing out of Jackson were clouding their communication. This time not anger and grief, but remorse.
“Easy, boy. I just need to talk to her.”
She and Thimble were headed back when he caught sight of them. Eve did, too, slowing Thimble, and turning toward him.
“Is something wrong?” she asked, once they were within a few feet of each other.
“Wanted to ride Taco.”
As good of an excuse as any other, though he’d really wanted to talk with Eve. Ask her how he could make her life better. Easier. Whether maybe he could pay for the hearing aid. Maybe some of her student loans. He wasn’t wealthy, but he did all right for himself with song royalties. He’d have to tiptoe around that suggestion, because she might believe this was based on pity for her.
He didn’t pity Eve but felt only admiration for her. And a brand-new understanding. He needed her to realize that he didn’t see her any differently, and that no one should.
Jackson hopped off Taco, and holding the reins, walked a few feet to face east and the slowly rising sun. Eve did the same, but she kept a healthy distance between them.
Damn, how he wanted to hold her. He took a tentative step closer and simply reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “Look at that sunrise, Eve.”
She didn’t flinch or move away. “Nothing like a Texas sunrise.”
“You get to see one every mornin’?”
“If I’m lucky and don’t oversleep.”
Guilt coursed through him. She was in his family home, pretty much a servant. Just like her mother, Brenda, over at the Truehart horse ranch. He’d once promised Eve she’d have a different kind of life than her parents. She’d kissed him, and then assured him this would be true, but she would be the one to take care of that.
Eve. Always independent. Always confident. Fearless. And even though he told himself that cooking in Mima’s kitchen was temporary, he didn’t like her slaving away for the cowboys. For him.
“Why are you here?” she asked quietly. “This early, I mean.”
He cleared his throat. “I wanted to see the sunrise.”
And you. I wanted to catch you before you were off on whatever wedding errand you’re running for Sadie today. Maybe steal another kiss if I’m lucky.
“There’s one every day,” she teased, and he glanced over to see that she was smiling at him. “Just get up early enough.”
He grinned back at her. “Is that an invitation?”
“To the sunrise?” She gaped at him, then threw her head back in a laugh. “It’s available to everyone.”
“Not this view,” he said, and this time he made a slow appraisal of her body.
She bit her lower lip, then looked away shyly. That also wasn’t Eve. She was proud of her body. Proud he’d wanted her every day and couldn’t get enough.
He stepped closer to reach for her hand this time. “Forgive me for being an idiot. For trying to fire you.”
“That’s okay,” she said. “I understand what you must have thought, walking in and finding me here in the family home. I wanted them to warn you but Mima and Linc said it would be okay. That I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried.”
“You know me best.” He squeezed her hand. “Guess I forgot I’ve been taught to put other’s needs first. I think I’ve been gone too long.”
Surprising him, she squeezed back. “We all missed you.”
While he wished for a little more personalization than that, he wasn’t going to complain. With their horses behind them, Jackson stepped behind Eve and slowly and deliberately pulled her to him, her back to his chest, his arms wound tight around her waist.
“Is this uncomfortable?” he murmured against her temple. “Too much?”
She hesitated only a second. “No. I’m good.”
“Then let’s just stand here and watch the sunrise.”
The next morning before daybreak Eve walked to the stables to find that Jackson was already there. He carried two mugs of coffee, one for him, and one for her. Without words, he set his mug down, led Taco out, saddled, and groomed him. She did the same with Thimble, side by side. They didn’t speak much, except to talk about the weather.
It happened again the next morning, Jackson there as if planned. They’d then taken both horses out for a ride together.
On the second morning, he’d kissed her tenderly as the sun rose behind them. She’d lost interest in the beauty of the sunrise. And he was far more interested in holding her hand and kissing. She couldn’t complain about any of this. It was nice just to be together and not talk about the kiss, or what it meant, if anything at all. She reminded herself that, as he’d told her in the kitchen, he’d kissed her simply because he wanted to. And she’d kissed back for the same reason. Best to keep it simple.
There had been more kisses, plenty of hand holding, more hand caresses, and warm hugs. There were looks and genuine smiles that made her heart ache in a sweet way. Eve hadn’t been this treasured by a man in a long while and the sensation was addictive.
This morning, they talked about the ranch, Winston and all the working dogs, Hank and the bull, and Mima’s health.
“Thanks for taking such good care of her,” Jackson said, and Eve could hardly believe she’d heard the words.
“I’d do anything for Mima. She’s like my own grandmother.”
“Does Brenda get jealous at all, with you spending so much time over here?”
“No, and in fact she’s actually spent more time over here lately. She and Hank are such good friends. And she loves your family.”
“Well, we all love her. Especially her daughter.” As if realizing what he’d just said, he corrected himself. “You know that Hank is crazy about you.”
“To him, I’m the horse whisperer.” She laughed, leading a saddled Thimble out.
“We all have our gifts.” He came up behind her, leading Taco, and paused to tip his Stetson. “Apparently I’m the Nashville cowboy.”
“Long as you’re still a cowboy, you fit right in.” She pulled herself up and mounted Thimble. “See ya, cowboy.”
With that, she took off and left Jackson and Taco in the dust, laughing as she did. But one look behind her, and she could see that Jackson and Taco were quickly gaining on her. In no time flat, they’d caught up. Taco was always the fastest horse. They raced to the first pasture, Taco winning handily, then slowed to head back, giving the horses a break.
“What’s it like in Nashville?”
“Loud and bright. Busy. The music business isn’t what I’d thought it would be.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not always about the music. It’s about the almighty dollar. What will sell, what won’t. Branding. Messaging. Don’t get me wrong. The people there are kind. Hard working. It’s just…not like home.”
Life was probably simpler here and he missed that. Hope swelled in her.
“Do you think…you could stay? For good?”
“I want to, but I started something I should finish.”
“Right.”
“It’s just…since I’ve been there, I’ve sold my best songs to other artists. I needed the money. Plus, it was flattering when big names wanted to record my stuff. But I’m not going to shortchange myself anymore. My next song is for me to record. Hopefully people will still buy the song when it’s me singing it, and not Keith Urban.”
“Oh, I’m sure they will. You just need that chance.”
Jackson reached with his big leather-gloved hand and covered hers. She smiled back at him, enjoying his touch. Reveling in the warmth that pulsed through her every time he so much as glanced in her direction. As the orange sun crested over the horizon, and Jackson continued to hold her hand as their horses walked slowly back, she counted her blessings.
I used to feel sorry for myself, but I do have a lot to be grateful for. For a long while, I never thought I’d smile again. Life got so ugly and dark that some days I just wanted to die. Then I came back to Stone Ridge and Mima said I could ride Thimble whenever I wanted to as long as I’d help with the groom’s job. The first time she smiled at me I thought I was seein’ things. Horses don’t smile, some say, but I know they do. She’s one of my best friends even if she can’t talk back to me.
And I know it’s going to hurt when Jackson leaves, but if I can survive what I did, I can survive anything.
They dismounted at the same time and led their horses back to the stable. Jackson took Thimble’s reins. “Let me.”
“You’re going to unsaddle and brush ’em both?”
“Yeah, I am. I guess you’re needed inside.”
That was true and she appreciated the help. The groom wouldn’t be around today. “Don’t forget to clean their shoes.”
He cocked his head and slid her his dimpled grin. “Eve, I know what to do.”
“Of course you do.” She stepped away, but then stopped and turned. “Jackson?”
On her mind were many things she wanted to say to him. She wanted him to kiss her again because just being held in his powerful arms wasn’t enough anymore.
Please be patient with me. When I tell you everything, and I will, I need you to understand. I don’t want you to dissolve into anger and revenge. I’ve done that myself, and it doesn’t help a thing. I know.
“Eve?” Jackson was studying her, his blue eyes intent, brow furrowed. “What is it?”
“Um, thank you for the help.”
He nodded, his eyes smiling teasingly. “You work too hard.”
She laughed and shook her head, removing her gloves as she walked away. “No, I don’t.”
By the time Eve reached the kitchen, Mima was already up.
“Mornin’.”
“Already been out for a ride?”
“Every morning before sunrise.”
Eve cooked up the usual breakfast burritos for the hands, then packed them up for the short drive up the hill. “I’ll head out and drop these off then be back for your breakfast.”
“Am I working you too hard, sugar?” Mima asked.
“Funny, Jackson just told me I work too hard.” She waved the thought away with one hand while the other carried the box of food. “Y’all stop worrying.”
Keeping busy helped to push dark or negative thoughts away. Between the ranch and her work, the dark thoughts only chased her at night when it was time to sleep. Only then did she remember that the world wasn’t always a safe place, that sometimes when you least suspected it, you could be flattened by life. That moment could come along at any time, without notice, unless you were always on alert.
But for several days she didn’t have a single dark thought or memory to push away. She thought it might be because of Jackson. He’d brought a certain kind of sweetness back into her small world. Some part of her would always love him, but she could accept what they had now. There was no need to hurry a thing.
If, with time, something more developed, she’d be open to it. She just needed more time to be ready to feel close to someone again.
As she drove her truck past the stables, she waved to Jackson, who was just making his way back to the house. She drove the quarter mile up the hill. The cowboys were ready for her when she arrived, barely waiting for the truck to come to a full stop. She handed out breakfast to grateful men, then caught sight of her mother nearby.
“Mom?” Eve asked in surprise. “What are you doing here?”
Brenda did something that Eve never saw her do before. She blushed. “Hey there. I just came by to see you.”
As far as Eve knew, this was the first time her mother ever lied to her. “So early? The sun just came up.”
“Did you forger I’m an early riser, too?” Brenda came close, tugging gently on Eve’s braid. “Your hair looks so pretty.”
“In a braid?” Eve blinked. “Um, okay. Thanks?”
“I’ve been meaning to ask you about the wedding preparations.”
“We have the bachelorette party this weekend. We’re going to a spa in San Antonio.”
“A spa!”
“I’ll tell you all about what it’s like when I get back. Maybe I’ll take pictures with my phone.” Neither one of them had ever been to a spa.
“And…everything else? How is Jackson?”
“He’s…he’s actually being very nice. He insists on helping me most mornings and thinks Mima’s working me too hard. We went for a ride with Thimble and Taco. It was…nice.”
“I’ve always envied your connection to horses.”
She shrugged. “Well, I did pretty much grow up on a horse ranch.”
“Did I ever tell you how sorry I am that we couldn’t buy you a horse of your own?”
To Eve’s horror, her mother’s eyes filled with tears. “Oh my Lord, Mami. That’s not a big deal. You helped me in so many other ways. And with veterinary school.”
Eve wasn’t even going to mention the breakup with Jackson, when her mother literally brought her meals to bed for a week without complaining. Or the way she’d come to the hospital and wouldn’t leave her side. They’d never earned much money, but somehow they always had access to everything they needed. Thanks to Brenda, who worked so hard for the Trueharts. She had no 401(k) plan. No IRA. She’d saved, but not enough. Long ago, Eve determined she would take care of her mother in retirement. She’d be Brenda’s 401(k).
“I didn’t help enough. You still have too many loans to pay back.”
“But so does everyone else I know. I’ll be fine. Annabeth and I have a plan. It’s a five-year plan.”
Brenda cupped Eve’s face. “Just make sure you make time for a man. To plan to fall in love again.”
“There she is.” Hank walked up to Eve and Brenda. “Brenda, didn’t expect to see you here.”
“My daughter’s so busy, and I know where I can find her every morning now,” Brenda said.
“Heard you’ve got three new heifers,” Eve said to Hank.
Usually the cows didn’t need assistance to give birth, but once in a while one who’d never given birth needed an assist. Hank and his hands were well-trained in pulling calves and Eve would only be called in the case of a breech birth.
“Since you’re here, mind taking a look at one of my calves?” Hank turned to Eve and hooked a thumb in the direction of the barn.
“Of course,” Eve said and looked at Brenda. “I’ll come by soon. We’ll go out to lunch.”
“Yes, let’s do that.” With a wave, Brenda turned in the direction of the Truehart ranch.
“Good seein’ ya, Brenda,” Hank said, holding up a hand in a wave even if he’d already turned toward the barn.
She followed Hank into one of the pens containing a newborn calf. Lincoln was nearby, cleaning up the pen. The equipment he’d have used to pull the calf out was nearby.
“Hey there, Eve,” Lincoln said.
“Hi, Linc.”
The calf lay on the ground, the mama not far, but seemingly also not doing her job. Usually instinct took over and the cow would lick the afterbirth off her calf, which served the dual purpose of helping it to become more alert.
“She just needs to be left alone to get acquainted,” Lincoln said.
“Sometimes they’re a little slow to show interest and do their job when you have to assist the birth,” Eve said, but after bending down to give a cursory check on the calf she found the heifer to be responsive with good color. “She’s just a little dazed, huh, baby? Welcome to the world.”
Eve loved this part of her job and she wasn’t often privileged to witness a natural birth. She was called to the calving when there was a problem. A breech birth or, worse, a stillborn. Always so horrible. But this new life before her was beautiful to witness. Maybe it was true, as her therapist used to say, that there was far more good in the world than evil. She wanted to believe that. After a few more minutes of watching the two together, Eve agreed with Lincoln. They should leave those two alone to do what came naturally.
“Just check on her after a while,” Eve advised. “Make sure she’s taking care of her baby. I bet it doesn’t take her long once she loses an audience.”
A few minutes later, everyone dispersed to other tasks. Hank thanked her and went off to do something else, but Lincoln pulled Eve aside.
“I owe you an apology.”
“For what?”
“For not ringing my fool brother’s neck. I don’t like the way he spoke to you, and I should have stopped it.” He tipped his hat. “It’s just that…it seems like Jackson wanted to get something off his chest. I figured he’d be better after that.”
“Well, thank you.” Eve shoved her hands in the back pockets of her Wranglers. She didn’t like the idea of coming between the two brothers who’d always been so close. “But this is between me and Jackson.”
“And how are things between you?” He cocked his head, appearing honestly interested.
She didn’t know why she was surprised. Lincoln was just as solid a guy as they came. But despite that, Eve wasn’t quite comfortable sharing the details.
“We’re not fighting anymore.” She kicked the ground with the heel of her boot. “I think we’ll behave ourselves for your weddin’. No worries there.”
“I wasn’t worried.”
“In fact, he’s been helpin’ me. Getting up before daylight lately.”
“Jackson?” Lincoln chuckled.
Eve nodded. “This mornin’ he had coffee waiting for me. We’ve been goin’ for rides with Thimble and Taco.”
And a lot of kissing but she wasn’t going to mention that. Good thing, because the grin on his face made Eve think he’d read her mind.
“Well, well. That’s good news.”
“I better get back to it. Sadie and I have a few last-minute things to do before we head out for San Antonio tomorrow.”
Lincoln pointed. “Okay, y’all have fun and take care of my bride.”
“Will do.”
It was finally time for the bachelorette party, the one she’d planned for months. Just a weekend of pampering, girl talk, junk food, and rom-coms. No men or talk of men.
Good thing, because as much time as Eve was spending with Jackson lately, she needed a moment to sort out her feelings. To take a break from the intensity of emotions that washed over her every time he was in the room.
Waving to Lincoln, she hopped in the truck and headed back down the hill.