With Xander in tow, Kate paid Thistle Lodge Stables a visit the following afternoon.
‘You sure you’re okay with this?’ she asked her brother as they pulled up behind the stables.
‘For the hundredth time, I’m fine. Let’s just get it over with.’
‘You never know, Xander. You might enjoy it.’
‘Twenty quid, right?’
Kate didn’t like to think she was bribing Xander. It was more like insurance. ‘For every visit, and as long as you help out and agree not to smoke any more dope.’ Actually, it was more like blackmail.
Ben’s welcoming grin as they arrived in the yard was enough to ease her anxiety. Xander hung back and dragged his feet.
‘Come. We’ll get you kitted out in some boots so you don’t spoil those and I’ll show you around,’ Ben said, patting him on the shoulder.
Kate let them go and walked over to see Jerry, whom she’d spotted standing by the paddock gate with his mates. The chestnut pricked his ears and stretched his head over the gate when she took out a couple of deformed carrots that she’d got on discount from the local store. The other horses crowded in for a share and Suddenly Seymour flattened his ears at the others whenever they tried to get close. Only Jerry was excused from his snapping teeth. Kate smiled.
She was joined a few minutes later by Ben and Xander. Xander looked unimpressed with his dirty green Wellington boots and in very unfamiliar territory holding a head collar and lead.
‘Kate, you take Jerry and Julio there with the white face,’ Ben said, handing her a couple of halters. ‘Xander, you grab Seymour.’ He ducked beneath the fence and was soon lost among the six horses crowding around him.
Xander sent Kate a look of uncertainty and she gave him an encouraging smile.
‘Come on. Nothing to worry about.’
‘But I—’
‘Come on, you two,’ said Ben, re-emerging from the scrum leading three horses. ‘You’re going to have to move it if you want to ride while it’s still light.’
Xander looked at him in horror. ‘Ride? I don’t know how to though.’
Kate ducked between the bars of the fence and slipped a head collar over Jerry’s nose. ‘Ben’s a great teacher, don’t worry.’
With the herd depleted and having watched Kate secure Jerry, Xander ventured into the paddock to collect the remaining horse. Seymour whinnied to his stable companion as they threatened to leave without him, but otherwise stood quietly for Xander to get himself organised.
With all horses at last locked in their stables, Kate followed Ben into the tack room.
He handed her a grooming kit. ‘Take your time with Jerry. I’ll give Xander a quick tutorial and we’ll meet you in the paddock.’
‘Ben,’ Kate said, stopping him as he went to walk out. ‘Thank you.’
Ben winked at her and gave her a smile that could melt a polar bear’s heart. ‘No problem.’
*
Dusk was falling by the time yard duties were completed. Kate watched Ben lock the feed room door and realised with a surprising heaviness to her heart that this was the end of the day’s outing.
Of course, it was because of Xander’s progress that had made the afternoon so enjoyable, not Ben, Kate told herself. She had a boyfriend after all, she wasn’t allowed to enjoy another man’s company like that. So yes, absolutely all because of Xander.
‘You in a hurry to get home?’ he asked.
Kate’s heart lightened its load in anticipation and her cheeks warmed in shame. She looked to Xander for his reaction, but he just shrugged.
‘What did you have in mind?’ she said.
‘Arcades and Icecapades is in town for the holidays if you fancy it.’
Arcades and Icecapades was a seasonal funfair in which arcade games, funfair stalls and an outdoor ice rink were crammed onto a tiny park in central Bristol.
Kate looked down at her dirty clothes. ‘Right now?’
‘Go home and shower first if you want.’
‘Xander? What do you think?’
Xander shrugged again. ‘Yeah, okay. Whatever.’
*
‘I reckon we’re in for some snow,’ Ben said as they joined the throngs filing into the park a couple of hours later.
Kate groaned. ‘More abandoned race meetings then. Mind you, not that it would make much difference to my lot.’
‘How is d’Artagnan?’ asked Ben.
‘No worse for his ordeal. I don’t know where Jack’s going to send him next though if we’re to get a race in before the King George on Boxing Day.’
‘Maybe he’ll go straight there.’
Xander gave them both a bored look. ‘Can I go to check out the games?’ he said.
‘Go on then,’ replied Kate. ‘Just keep an eye on your phone for messages, okay?’
Xander muttered something unintelligible in teenage-speak and ducked into the crowds and hurried away.
‘What does that even mean?’ said Kate. ‘I’ve never even heard that word before.’
Ben shrugged. ‘It doesn’t register on sound frequencies above a certain age.’
Kate laughed. ‘Don’t. You make me feel old.’ She hesitated, but then curiosity got the better of her. ‘How old are you, Ben?’
‘Twenty-nine last August. Am I allowed to ask your age?’
‘No.’
Ben grinned. They continued to walk, sidestepping distracted fairgoers and children chasing each other down the paths between the rides. They passed a burger stall and Kate’s mouth watered at the aroma of frying onions.
‘Ooh, that smells good,’ she groaned.
‘You want one?’
‘Are you going to have one?’
‘I’ve no rides for a few days, so I reckon I could manage it.’
Kate laughed. Usually on dates, it would be the woman watching her weight. Not that this was a date, of course. She and Ben were simply chaperoning Xander. Kate’s inner cynic questioned Xander’s whereabouts, but she pushed it away. Okay, so maybe she wasn’t doing a great job of chaperoning, but that still didn’t make this a date. Dates were excursions shared with one’s boyfriend, not the boyfriend’s brother. Lather, rinse, repeat. This wasn’t a date.
Ben exchanged a fiver for two sausage and onion rolls and they tucked into their meals as they walked.
‘So what do you think of Xander?’ Kate asked.
Ben finished a mouthful before replying. ‘He’s a good kid.’
‘I’m sorry if he comes across as a little – you know – reluctant.’
‘He’s just being a teenager. It would be uncool to be enthusiastic.’
‘He got suspended from school for smoking dope.’
Ben glanced at her and laughed. ‘Kate, you look like the sky’s about to fall.’
‘But it’s serious, Ben.’
‘Not necessarily. Kids are gonna push the boundaries. They’re curious, they’re going to experiment. I’m not saying let them do whatever the hell they want, but you can’t wrap ’em in cotton wool.’
‘I’m just afraid for him.’
‘We’ll keep him on the straight and narrow. Just keep bringing him back to the stables.’
Kate tried not to worry. ‘Thanks.’
Ben glanced her way and nudged her with his elbow. ‘Knock, knock,’ he said.
‘Who’s there?’
‘Nicholas.’
Kate smiled in anticipation of the punchline. ‘Nicholas who?’
‘Knickerless girls shouldn’t climb trees.’
Kate snorted and shook her head.
At the end of the stalls was the ice rink. Skaters wobbled around, interspersed with shrieks of laughter as some overbalanced and landed in an untidy mess. Pop music blared from the speaker system. Kate watched young families holding hands, guiding and guarding their children between them.
‘Do you fancy a go?’ said Ben.
‘I’m a terrible skater.’
‘No, I didn’t mean that.’ Ben pointed to some arcade games. ‘Over there. Looks like they have a racing game.’
Kate caught the devilish twinkle in his eye and threw the last of her sausage and onion roll into a bin. ‘You’re on.’
*
Kate decided that whomever had designed the horseracing game had never sat on a horse before. Used to d’Artagnan’s broad bulk beneath her, her balance felt precarious atop the narrow plastic saddle. Beside her, Ben readjusted his seat with a grimace.
‘Not the comfiest saddle I’ve ever sat on,’ he said.
Kate flushed pink and looked ahead to the digital screen. A tinny whistle sounded and Kate gave a shriek as her ‘horse’ started to rock violently. The race was on.
Fumbling for a grip, she stood up in her footrests (of course, stirrups would have gone against health and safety) and tried to find the rhythm in her horse’s jerky movements. On the screen, a rush of horses with very bad conformation steamed past her inside.
‘Where are you?’ She looked across and laughed.
Ben’s screen was facing the pixelated grandstands.
‘Damn thing doesn’t have any steering – oh, here we go.’
His screen swung round the right way and Kate saw a horse with an arrow and a caption reading ‘Player 1’ labouring ahead.
‘Ooh, that’s me!’
Ben lowered his posture and began to drive his horse forward. Kate turned her attention back to her own race. Player 2 edged onto her screen as Ben overtook her. Kate pressed the Whip button and they turbo boosted forward. She edged her horse to the inside rail and passed a couple of the computer horses. A clock in the corner counted down the distance to the finish and her horse’s energy levels.
‘You’re not getting away that easily,’ Ben warned.
Kate laughed, upsetting her rhythm again, and nearly fell off. Player 2 poked its head back onto her screen. Kate pressed the Whip button again, but it didn’t have the same effect as before. Ben’s horse pulled ahead and Kate squealed in frustration.
Ahead the chequered flag waved (whomever designed this game really didn’t know anything about racing). The leaders were dropping back, but Kate didn’t think for a moment she’d beat them. More important was beating Ben. Ben pulled further and further ahead.
‘How the hell are you doing that?’ she cried.
Ben grinned across at her. ‘I have a way with horses.’
All of a sudden, his horse started to slow.
‘Oh, you’re idling!’ she yelled, pushing her mount harder.
‘What? What the hell?’ Ben jabbed frantically at the Whip button until a red light flashed on his screen. ‘What? Disqualified for overuse of the whip? Bloody hell!’
Kate whooped as she passed Ben’s slowing horse.
Ben was incensed. ‘How can they disqualify me for overuse? It’s just a computer. You don’t even get that harsh a penalty in real racing!’
Kate laughed so hard, her body went weak. Her mount paid no consideration to her though and continued jolting. Unable to ‘pull up’, Kate’s balance teetered.
‘Ooh, I’m falling!’
With one more jerk she took a somewhat inelegant tumble from her plastic steed. Her horse carried on bucking on its stand. She tried to get back on, but it was impossible.
‘Hey, what about the remounting rule?’ Ben said. His horse walked over the finish line and he pumped the air in victory.
‘What are you celebrating for? You got disqualified.’
Ben dismounted and puffed out his chest. ‘So did you for falling off. But I still beat you.’
‘You got disqualified before me, so technically I beat you.’
They argued good-naturedly as they left the racing game behind. Their path took them via the ice rink again.
‘You sure you don’t want to skate?’ Ben said.
Kate shook her head. ‘I’m useless. Do you skate?’
Ben leaned his arms on the railing to watch the proceedings. ‘I used to. My opa used to take me to Holland when I was younger to visit the family. Near the town where they lived, there was a lake that froze over during winter, and he’d take me skating.’
‘Of course,’ Kate said, enlightened. ‘De Jager. That’s Dutch, is it? I thought it was German.’
Ben shook his head. ‘Opa moved over here when he married Nan and set up his dressage academy.’ He paused to watch a couple skate by, their bodies interlocked. ‘I reckon he was good enough to ride for his country, but he never did.’
‘And you’re named after your grandfather, aren’t you?’ she said. ‘Benedict doesn’t sound very Dutch.’
Ben smiled without mirth. ‘You’ve a good memory. Wrong grandfather though. Benedict was my dad’s dad.’ He paused to look at Kate. There was something in his expression that she couldn’t decipher. Not resentment or bitterness, but almost a wry sadness. ‘It was my mother’s parting gift, shall we say?’ he said.
Kate didn’t reply. What could she say? For starters, she didn’t understand what he meant. A parting gift to whom? And why?
She thought of the ‘parting gift’ her own mother had given her when Kate had left for Newmarket. Like a name, it was part of her identity too, a reminder each day of their turbulent relationship.
‘Hey, there’s Xander,’ said Ben, pointing across the way. ‘Shall we go join him?’
‘Do you think we should? He might not appreciate our company.’
Ben pushed himself away from the railings and pressed his hand against her lower back, sending the most inappropriate signals to her brain. ‘We have one major advantage,’ he said. ‘We have money.’
*
Ben was right. Xander was quite happy to play arcade games with them providing they paid. After a while though, even he was becoming tired of the same games and they headed for the stalls for some more traditional fairground entertainment.
‘How are your hoop-throwing skills?’ said Ben, stopping in front of one stall.
‘Neglible,’ replied Kate with dubious honesty.
‘Xander?’
Xander looked reluctant until he spotted the prizes on offer. ‘Can we try get that tardis?’
‘Dr Who fan, are we?’ said Ben, handing over some money to the stall holder. ‘Gonna be a tough one. That looks like the big prize.’
Xander was given half a dozen hoops. By the fourth, he was still no closer to winning his miniature tardis. The pegs were set in such awkward positions it was virtually impossible to hoop them.
‘Why don’t you just try for one of the smaller ones? You’d have a better chance,’ suggested Kate.
‘Because I want the tardis.’
Kate shrugged and watched Xander blow his last couple of chances.
‘You want a go?’ Ben asked her.
Kate shook her head. She didn’t fancy looking any more foolish than she did already. ‘I’ll watch.’
Ben took his six hoops and got into position, shifting his weight from foot to foot like a goalkeeper anticipating a penalty kick. With a quick flick of his wrist, he let the first hoop spin away. It bounced off one of the props.
Kate raised an eyebrow at him.
Ben rolled his shoulders and puffed out his cheeks. ‘I’m just warming up.’
She laughed at the intense focus on his face. His second hoop glanced off the tardis peg and they all groaned.
‘Okay, come on. I’m going to get that thing,’ Ben said, cricking his neck.
His next three shots missed.
‘It’s a farce,’ he said. ‘It’s impossible to get the angles from here.’
The stall holder shrugged. ‘I’ve given out four tardises already.’
Ben threw his last hoop. It looped through the air and caught on the tardis peg. Their cheers were premature though as the hoop’s momentum spun it off again. The hoop tumbled off the props and landed on a teddy bear peg.
Xander exclaimed in frustration. The stall holder took down a teddy bear and gave it to Ben.
Ben held it out to Xander. ‘Here you go, champ.’
Xander looked disgusted. ‘Fuck, I don’t want it. That’s so gay.’
‘Says the Doctor Who fan,’ said Kate, giving him a stern look.
Ben took back the bear, passing it from hand to hand and looked from Kate to Xander to Kate. His gaze lingered on her, his expression awkward. The fogging of his breath lessened, and Kate’s heart began to thud in anticipation.
He held out the prize to her. ‘Bears should be loved too.’
Kate’s fingers curled into the soft fur of the toy, and she hugged it to her chest, feeling stupidly happy. ‘Thank you.’
Ben’s gaze remained on her, and he gulped. Kate’s pulse went from smooth to samba. With a final inhalation and a clap of his hands, he looked away. ‘Right! Where to from here?’
Kat followed him and Xander down the aisles as they searched out fresh entertainment. His question lingered in her mind. Where to, indeed?