In This Chapter
Exploring interests
Initiative and networking
Self-directed learning
Negotiating education
Developing values
Independence for better or worse
Simple starting points
Resources
In This Chapter
Exploring interests
Initiative and networking
Self-directed learning
Negotiating education
Developing values
Independence for better or worse
Simple starting points
Resources
WHEN THEY BEGIN homeschooling teenagers, both newcomers and veteran home educators travel to a new, exciting land. In this new territory, our apprentice adults amaze us with their independence, self-confidence, stamina, enthusiasm, accomplishments, mental abilities, and integrity. Janice in Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, says, “When teens really want to learn a new skill, no outside help is required. They focus completely on their objective.”
Adolescents race towards independence, exhibiting many adult capabilities, even as early as ages thirteen and fourteen. Unlike early- and middle-years youngsters, most teenagers manage adult household tasks as well as their own personal needs. At ages nine and ten, our son and daughter could make breakfast, but I still needed to supervise—especially the cleanup. As teenagers, these same children not only made breakfast; they planned, shopped for, and prepared meals for an entire week. Independent living skills build self-reliance and define the area in which many teenagers first begin to function as adults.
Our children’s drive toward independence accelerates during the teen years beyond living skills. Teens seek a personal identity. They want to function effectively outside the family and to find their place in the community and in the world. Our children, as they mature, think increasingly about their future occupations and lifestyles. This drive to establish personal and vocational identity brings goals into focus and spurs learning. As Arleta in California tells us, “Thomas, age sixteen, works hard. He envisions a career in medical research, and he’s taking several college math and science classes concurrent with his high school homeschooling.”
This drive to establish personal and vocational identity brings goals into focus and spurs learning.
Physically, teenagers seem to have unlimited strength and stamina. Depending on their interests, they read, skateboard, practice violin, draw and paint, or program computers for hours and days and weeks on end. Jane in Collierville, Tennessee, says, “Our son learns in depth anything that interests him. Right now, it’s guitar. He reads books and researches about different pick-ups. He practices so much that I marvel that his fingers aren’t worn down!”
The energy and enthusiasm teenagers devote to activities amazes their parents. Leanne, who has been homeschooling since 1995, echoes many respondents’ sentiments. “My son, seventeen, has a zest for learning, especially when he initiates it.”
Just as everyday living skills build independence, energy and enthusiasm fuel self-confidence. Penny in New Jersey comments on her teenagers’ belief in their own invincibility: “Many times I have seen [our son and daughter] tackle something that traditional wisdom says cannot be done. They come up with a superior solution that not only does the job, but also succeeds beyond everyone’s dream. A favorite expression around here is, ‘It’s amazing how much you can accomplish when you don’t know the task is impossible.’ ”
Teenagers’ accomplishments reflect their more mature capabilities. Teenagers write articles and books, run businesses, invent laborsaving devices, earn college degrees, build boats, and raise funds for worthy causes. Our fifteen-year-old daughter was the sole props manager for an adult community theater production. Our sixteen-year-old son, with his years of musical training, taught piano to children and adults.
These accomplishments result from teenagers’ more mature mental machinery. Teenagers’ minds differ from those of their younger siblings in two ways. First, adolescents have a larger knowledge base than younger children. As an example, most teens know historical time lines and can find Texas or China on a map. When discussing current events with teenagers, you don’t have to start at square one, recounting history and reviewing geography.
Second, adolescents exhibit abstract and critical thinking skills that most early- and middle-years children lack. Tess explains, “Teens can take information from various sources and pull it together into an organic whole. They question authority and sources of information.”
Kay adds, “[Teenagers] understand abstract concepts and question premises and ideas. I love listening to my son discuss the concept of intelligence. This has led to discussions on how scientists study whether life exists elsewhere.”
Using their critical and abstract thinking abilities, teenagers solidify their values. Adolescents enjoy exploring right and wrong in depth. This is a time for lengthy discussions of actions and consequences. As young adults, our teenagers experience the results of actions in real-world situations.
Home educators—as we shall see—are uniquely positioned to take advantage of the learning assets of the teenage years, most particularly in the following areas:
Exploring interests
Initiative and networking
Self-directed learning
Negotiating education
Developing values
Independence
EVEN THE MOST structured home educators—families who use traditional methods—find their teens complete academics in two to four hours per day or less. Setting aside time for chores, meals, and personal hygiene, homeschooled teenagers have from four to ten discretionary hours each day—a great deal more than their schooled peers. Most homeschoolers put the time to good use the same way you and I do—by pursuing whatever interests them.
Setting aside time for chores, meals, and personal hygiene, homeschooled teenagers have from four to ten discretionary hours each day—a great deal more than their schooled peers.
Teenage interests encompass every activity on the planet. I have known adolescent homeschoolers who developed expertise in all of the following areas:
reptiles
recreational mathematics
Scrabble
ancient history
archeology
photography
model rocketry
chess
horses
family history
Shakespeare
vegetarian cooking
landscape design
pottery
gardening
Civil War reenactments
As this list makes clear, homeschoolers need not limit themselves to typical extracurricular activities, like sports, drama club, or cheerleading. Instead, they make their communities and the world their after-school resource room. These young adults look around them, find something interesting to do, and do it. “Homeschooled teens seem to know that it’s okay to learn. They don’t have to worry about being labeled geeky or weird. They learn what is important to them, in any way they see fit,” according to Trudy.
Homeschooling families, taking their cue from unschoolers, learn to translate many of these activities into school subject categories. Gardening is science and physical education. Vegetarian cooking is math and science. Civil War reenactments are history and language arts. Janice, who is homeschooling two teens, says, “We count part-time jobs, volunteer work, travel, and daily Bible reading as school.”
LIKE THEIR YOUNGER siblings, most teenagers demonstrate initiative by proposing activities related to their interests. Denise explains: “I see in my teens a willingness to try anything and to give their all. They are almost completely unfazed by popular opinion. If they are interested, they ask questions, jump right in, and become involved.”
SPEAKING EDUCATIONESE
| Reading the Daily Paper | = | Current Events, Social Studies |
| Drawing | = | Art |
| Playing Monopoly | = | Math |
| TV Documentaries | = | History, Science |
| Travel | = | Geography, Social Studies |
| E-Mailing Friends | = | Language Arts |
| Flute Lessons | = | Fine Arts |
| Pet Care | = | Science, Physical Education |
| Photography | = | Science, Art |
| Genealogy | = | History, Language Arts |
| Self-Selected Reading | = | Language Arts, History, Science |
| Talking with Grandpa About His Life | = | History |
| Cooking | = | Math, Science |
| Shoveling Snow | = | Physical Education |
| Keeping a Journal | = | Language Arts |
| Church Choir | = | Fine Arts |
| Sunday School | = | Religious Studies |
| Computer Games | = | Math, Geography, History, Science |
| Building a Web Page | = | Language Arts, Art, Computer Science |
| Tae Kwon Do | = | Physical Education |
Adolescent initiative differs from that of younger children, however. With teenagers, you get not only the initiative, but also the maturity to carry out plans. Older homeschoolers suggest projects. Then, with their more mature capabilities, teens network to realize their goals.
Kay tells us about her son, Matt, using his networking skills. “When he wanted to join a book discussion group, there wasn’t one. So he called several friends, and they began the Teen Homeschoolers Book Group. Matt contacted a bookstore that was willing to sponsor them. They now have a reserved table for meeting days, and the store management has offered the members 20 percent off book discussion titles.”
With teenagers, you get not only the initiative, but also the maturity to carry out plans.
Homeschooling parents, just like individual teachers in schools, can never master every subject—especially at the high school level. And, believe it or not, that is a good thing. Adults face this situation—lack of expertise to effect a desired outcome—every day. Learning to wrest techniques and information from the world at large needs more emphasis everywhere, in our public schools and in our home schools.
So take advantage of the freedom homeschooling offers. Freely admit your ignorance. And then remember that you are surrounded by good teachers—your friends, neighbors, relatives, and other home educators. True, most of these people do not have teaching credentials. But you will find that their enthusiasm for subjects close to their hearts is contagious. Find mentors for your teens. Better yet, help your teenagers find their own mentors.
Our son discovered leaders at a local Civil Air Patrol Squadron to help him learn about aviation and aerospace. Our daughter’s principal mentors were her piano and voice teachers. Dinah in Salem, Oregon, reports, “Tom’s mentor is his grandfather, a civil engineer. This summer, Tom had the opportunity to job shadow with Grandpa in Oklahoma. He learned a lot and the boss offered him a summer job for next year.”
Mentors not only communicate subject-matter expertise, they also provide feedback and evaluations, independent of parents. Most teenagers value and work hard for the approval of adults they respect. According to Anita in Freeport, Illinois, “Sometimes Mom and Dad can say that their teens are very talented, but they [the teens] don’t believe it. However, when their mentor says it, they listen.”
MANY HOMESCHOOLING PARENTS find that teenage initiative leads to self-directed learning. Our survey respondents report that their homeschoolers have taught themselves hundreds of subjects, including algebra, geometry, trigonometry, biology, chemistry, physics, Latin, computer programming and repair, American and world history, drawing, woodworking, small engine repair, Bible, government, nutrition, yoga, swing dancing, tennis, and Web-page design.
ENCOURAGING SELF-DIRECTED LEARNING
Encourage self-directed activity. Self-directed activity, even nonacademic activity, like folding origami animals, builds confidence and leads to self-directed learning.
Restrict television and mindless video games. Teens will only stare at the four walls for so long. Sooner or later (sooner in the absence of television) they initiate self-directed activity!
Facilitate rather than teach. When subject matter exceeds your expertise, seek outside help. Network with your teens for outside teachers together.
Choose self-instructional academic resources. Often the author or publisher says quite plainly that a given resource lends itself to self-instruction. If not, try it out, discovering for yourself if a given math or history text can be used without a teacher.
Model self-directed learning. Teach yourself something and share the ups and downs with your teenagers. Your children may or may not share your interests, but they will usually absorb the self-directed-learner lifestyle.
Contrary to conventional wisdom, teenagers can learn all typical high school subjects without a credentialed teacher. Some families use self-instructional materials provided by independent-study schools or supplied by homeschooling publishers. Others prefer eclectic approaches. Lauren in New York tells us, “Our teens taught themselves world history by reading memoirs, watching educational videos, and volunteering at an Anne Frank exhibit.”
Teens who can learn on their own attain educational nirvana—they direct their own studies and teach themselves. Just as important, they learn to locate resources, materials, and people to help them with any subject. Among the many self-instructional modalities our respondents cited were using trial-and-error, self-teaching books, videos, and computer programs; asking friends, neighbors, and relatives for help; seeking advice from experts; and searching the Internet.
IN MOST HIGH schools, teenagers are told what classes to take and when to take them. Every year, each student enrolls in language arts (English), math, social studies (history or geography), and science. To individualize—and also to fill a five- to six-hour day—schools also ask students to choose two or three “electives,” such as art, music, foreign language, and physical education.
Homeschooling families—by definition—have freed themselves from bureaucratic mandates of who learns what when. The family, not the state or school district, chooses subjects and learning resources. With early- and middle-years children, parents find themselves making many, if not most, educational decisions. With adolescents, parents and teens can jointly decide on topics and resources. We welcomed the chance to form an educational partnership with our teenagers—to talk things through, discuss educational approaches, and select learning materials with our son and daughter.
After homeschooling for several years, we formalized this process. I sat down with my son and daughter individually every three to six months. We each wrote a “goals and priorities list”—the first reflecting the parents’ goals and priorities for homeschooling, the second describing the teenager’s aims. We then discussed our lists and generated joint objectives for home education for the next six months.
We welcomed the chance to form an educational partnership with our teenagers—to talk things through, discuss educational approaches, and select learning materials with our son and daughter.
In the second part of the process, we compared our new objectives with current academic and nonacademic pursuits. We then discussed how activities—like 4-H or using a particular math text—related to the new objectives. We kept what we agreed was working, and we dropped from the teen’s schedule those resources and activities that no longer seemed productive.
Should your homeschooling reflect parents’ goals and priorities or those of their teenagers? More than 80 percent of our survey respondents reported that their programs reflected a blend of parental and teen objectives. Janice comments on how they decide what resources to use: “Our classical emphasis is my idea, not negotiable. In addition, I try to find the best way for them to attain their goals. We got our son admitted to a junior college at age fourteen to pursue his interest in music.”
Cheryl says that home education melds both parental and teenage objectives. “We wanted to instill a godly direction while preparing them for their lifework. They choose their lifework and direction, but we guide in selection and help clarify their objectives.”
Several of our respondents reported shifting more of the responsibility for choosing texts and related materials as their teenagers mature. Belinda, who has been homeschooling her thirteen-year-old son since 1994, writes, “Through the years I have set the goals and priorities for school, but as Kevin gets older and develops his own interests, he does more of the guiding. We select learning materials together, buying published math, science, and social studies programs, and supplementing with books he chooses.”
REFLECTING THEIR INCREDIBLE diversity, homeschooling families teach different values. Some families promote behaviors and ideals rooted in a specific faith. Marta, mother of seven children in New Jersey, speaks for many when she writes, “Our values are based on our religion. As a homeschooling family, we can live our lives around religious precepts.”
Other families derive their values from great philosophers and moral teachers. Still others root their values in common sense, family-centered living, and social justice. Kate in Downey, California, says, “We talk a great deal about the importance of being charitable toward others, looking at things from another’s perspective, and being positive contributors to the community.”
How do families homeschooling teenagers instill values? Role modeling and discussion top the list. The importance of role models is obvious when you consider the peer-group values too many conventionally schooled teens develop. In contrast, most homeschooled adolescents adopt their family’s values simply because they spend more time with parents. Values are caught just as often as they are taught.
To reinforce values, homeschool families discuss family situations, books, movies, and current events. Trudy tells us, “The Columbine High School tragedy gave us a way to talk about parents who work several jobs to provide their children with material things, but miss the importance of an adult emotional presence. They have also seen reasonably normal public-schooled teens obsess over the ‘right’ clothes, the ‘right’ cool attitude, and so on.”
Values are caught just as often as they are taught.
In addition to role modeling and discussion, some homeschooling parents use special materials and activities to impart values. Our survey respondents most often cited the following resources and routines:
practicing faith, including church attendance
participating in religious youth groups and classes
participating in non-religious youth groups, such as 4-H, Scouts and Civil Air Patrol
using formal teaching materials
AN APPALLING NUMBER of American high school graduates cannot balance a checkbook, handle minor home repairs, shop wisely, plan balanced meals, prepare budgets, maintain a car, tend young children, care for sick family members, or determine appropriate medication dosages. Why? Because parents and teachers do all these tasks for them while the teenagers “get an education.”
Homeschooling far surpasses school in instilling adult independent-living skills. Homeschooled teens have so many opportunities to learn these skills, just in the course of everyday life. Fortunately, you need purchase no special curriculum or spend extra money to ensure that your children graduate ready for the world. Keep it simple. Teach your teenagers all adult household tasks, and increasingly involve them in discussions relating to major family decisions.
Fostering independence goes beyond teaching independent-living skills. It also includes learning to function in your community. Again, time—free time, discretionary time—gives homeschoolers an edge. If my children had attended school, they would have had time for perhaps one to three community-based activities each week. As homeschoolers, my teenagers participated in five to ten activities each week—without compromising academics or family time.
Check out homeschooled teenagers’ outside activities, as listed by our survey respondents:
running a business
working at paying jobs
all team sports
baby-sitting
music and dance lessons
arts and crafts shows and competitions
4-H and Scouts
paper route
cultural events—concerts, plays
junior naturalist program at state park
ranch work
missionary projects
community welfare activities
charity work
camp counseling
teaching at church and school
tutoring
church choir
community orchestra
travel
Community activities help teens develop the tools of adult independence. With volunteer and paying jobs, young people learn to adapt to the schedules and priorities of others. They take responsibility for adult tasks, like conducting tours of historic sites or teaching a 4-H class. They work to accomplish real-world objectives, like publishing a newsletter or raising farm animals.
TEN REASONS TO HOMESCHOOL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL
1. Efficiency: Many homeschoolers complete standard high school academics in eighteen to twenty-four months, very quickly compared to the four years most high schools take. Using self-instructional materials they chose, and learning in ways that make sense to them, most teens can cut the time for traditional high school by half.
2. Head Start on College: Homeschooled teenagers often take college classes to supplement high school homeschooling.
3. Self-Directed Learning: The absence of experts in the home promotes autonomy and self-directed learning. Most homeschooled teenagers not only learn to teach themselves, they also become expert networkers.
4. Travel: Freedom from the scheduling constraints of school allows homeschoolers to take advantage of travel opportunities whenever they present themselves.
5. Work Experience: Teenage homeschoolers have time for volunteer and paying jobs. Often they get better jobs than those who attend school simply because they are available during school hours.
6. Time: Homeschoolers not only have more hours each day for creative endeavors and learning activities; they also have more time to be alone, to think, to daydream—to develop a private self and a personal identity.
7. Family Closeness: In contrast to many adolescents who pull away from their families, homeschooling parents almost universally report that their teenagers grow closer to all family members.
8. Limited Peer Pressure: Removed from the near-constant peer pressure in schools, most homeschooled teens develop mature manners and values.
9. Saving Money: Both parents and teenagers may earn money while homeschooling, making home education less expensive than attendance at a public school, where average yearly costs for extracurricular activities can exceed $500 per year.
10. Fun: Homeschooling teens is fun for parents, who—in the light of their life experience—enjoy learning all the math and history and foreign language they missed the first time around.
Many develop skills related to their eventual occupations. Marla in Wyoming tells us about her daughter who is a Girl Scout Junior Leader: “I see her finding happiness in her adult life working with children, so I look at her time at Girl Scouts as helping her develop this skill.”
Just as important, homeschooled teens also begin to develop the tools of adult interdependence. In his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Steven Covey talks about moving from independence to a higher plane of effectiveness that he calls interdependence. According to Covey, once they have learned the skills to be independent, individuals can choose a life of interdependence by “building rich, enduring, highly productive relationships with other people.”
Best of all, homeschoolers learn independence and interdependence in a non-graded environment. When they excel or make mistakes, instead of earning an A or F, they are rewarded and penalized in real-world currency. If they miss too many practices, the coach kicks them off the team. If they polish a performance, they win applause. Freedom from report cards is freedom to fail, and freedom to fail is freedom to learn. Albert Einstein, genius physicist, said: “I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right.”
Help your teen list his current projects and activities. Include the things he does when nobody is telling him what to do. On this list might be movies, reading, drawing, sports, music, art, and gardening. Translate your teenager’s current activities in educationese.
Dream! Ask you teenager about his priorities and goals: “What have you always dreamed of doing but not been able to do yet?” Brainstorm ways to address those priorities and goals.
List tasks or subjects you have taught yourself. Think back over the last ten years, and list tasks or subjects that you have taught yourself. How did you learn those subjects? Books, videos, friends, mentors, trial-and-error? Your teen can become a self-directed learner using the same techniques.
Read a character-building book. Read together with your teenager one of the character-building titles listed in the Resource section.
Make a list of your teenager’s current independent-living skills. What should you add to this list in the coming year?
Bennett, William J. The Book of Virtues for Young People. Simon & Schuster, 1997.
Canfield, Jack, Ed. Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul: 101 Stories of Life, Love and Learning. Health Communications, 1997.
Covey, Sean. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens: The Ultimate Teenage Success Guide. Simon & Schuster, 1998.
Noebel, David. Understanding the Times: The Religious Worldview of Our Day and the Search for Truth. Harvest House Publishers, 1994.
Campbell, Ross. How to Really Love Your Teenager. Chariot Victor Books, 1993.
Dobson, James. Preparing for Adolescence. Gospel Light Publications, 1999.
Faber, Adele and Elaine Mazlish. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. Avon Books, 1991.
Glenn, Stephen and Jane Nelson. Self-Reliant Children in a Self-Indulgent World: Seven Building Blocks for Developing Capable Young People. Prima Publishing, 1999.
Tripp, Paul. Age of Opportunity: A Biblical Guide to Parenting Teens. Presbyterian and Reformed Publishing Company, 1997.
The Reader’s Digest New Complete Do-It-Yourself Manual. Reader’s Digest Association, Inc., 1991.
McCullough, Bonnie Runyan. 401 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work at Home. St. Martin’s Press, 1982.
Hailey, Kendall. The Day I Became an Autodidact: And the Advice, Adventures, and Acrimonies That Befell Me Thereafter. Out of print, but well worth reading. Look for it in libraries and used bookstores.
Llewellyn, Grace. The Teenage Liberation Handbook. Lowry House, 1998.
Allen, Steve. Dumbth: The Lost Art of Thinking with 101 Ways to Reason Better & Improve Your Mind. Prometheus Books, 1998.
Black, Howard and Sandra Black. Building Thinking Skills, Book 3, Verbal, and Book 3, Figural. Critical Thinking Books and Software, 1987.
Healy, Jane. Endangered Minds: Why Our Children Don’t Think. Touchstone Books, 1991.
