In This Chapter
Depressed finances and trying times
Single parents and full-time work
Stay-at-home dads
Special academics
Physically challenged teens
When family size makes a difference
Simple starting points
Resources
In This Chapter
Depressed finances and trying times
Single parents and full-time work
Stay-at-home dads
Special academics
Physically challenged teens
When family size makes a difference
Simple starting points
Resources
WHEN NEWSPAPER REPORTERS ask about home education, they often assume that all homeschooling families consist of a working father with an adequate income, a stay-at-home mother, and two or three healthy, able children. Questions that interest homeschool travelers about special circumstances seldom arise. Yet more than 80 percent of our survey respondents deal every day with one or more uncommon situations. These include limited funds, single parenthood, stay-at-home fathers, gifted and special needs teenagers, and single-child and large families. Those who responded to our survey describe their challenges and suggest solutions for the journey.
SEVERAL TRAVELERS, who count every penny and live from paycheck to paycheck, creatively homeschool with free community resources. Katy says, “We educate our children on a very tight budget so we use the library and Internet, free books, yard sales, and the thrift store.”
Ron keeps his goals in sight. “We homeschool on very little money. We just do what we can afford within our budget and make our children’s education our first priority.”
Beth in Indiana tells us that they are a missionary family going to college. She comments, “No income means no money for outside resources. We buy used books and write our own curriculum. The library and the VegSource Internet bulletin board have been the most helpful in our situation. Home education has prepared us for the mission field. We now know how to learn at home and how to rely on our family unit for everything.”
Several travelers who count every penny and live from paycheck to paycheck creatively homeschool with free community resources.
Carrie in Florida lists outstanding strategies for homeschooling with limited funds. She writes: “Homeschooling on tight money has always been an issue for us. We recycle, solicit donations from local businesses (paper products, and so on), and buy used books, games, and materials. We do a lot within a small budget. We have a couple of local museums that offer annual memberships, permitting frequent inexpensive trips. Some of these have let us purchase our membership by volunteering.”
Tess plans ahead, buying materials she can use for more than one child. She also receives substantial help from local school districts. “This year we had extra money, so I purchased items for our son that will still work for our two-year-old when she reaches high school age. We have been fortunate to live near schools supportive of home education. Our northern California district supplied us with books, supplies, a supervising teacher, and field trips. In Pennsylvania, we use school textbooks for free.”
QUICK & EASY
Always remind grandparents and other extended family that you appreciate educational gifts for birthdays and the holidays. Suggest reference books, magazine subscriptions, educational games, and scholarships to educational summer camps.
Susanna writes not only about spending as little as possible, but also about dealing with family sickness and death. “We homeschool on a minimal budget, but the curriculum has been there when our children needed it. Our local homeschooling community has provided generously in the past. However, the homeschooling Internet community is now a more valuable resource. Our family has also experienced trying times. My daughter has had approximately fifty hours of surgery. In addition, we have taken care of a disabled parent and dealt with a death in the family. Home education has made all this easier to deal with.”
Molly also deals with chronic illness. She describes how they mesh home education with family responsibilities. “We spend a big chunk of our time caring for my parents and helping with my handicapped sister. We handle this with careful planning. Homeschooling means the boys have much more time to help around the house with their grandparents and to hang out with their aunt.”
One money saver, indeed one moneymaker all homeschool families should consider are part-time jobs for their teens. Unlike typical high-schoolers whose employment too often compromises education, most homeschooled thirteen- to eighteen-year-olds can easily schedule ten to twenty hours of paid work each week. Over two years, our daughter earned enough working at a dry cleaner to fund an exchange trip to Australia. Other teens work and contribute to family finances, build college savings, and purchase supplies for hobbies and special projects.
Parents whose work schedules conflict with their commitment to home education agonize over how to best spend their time. Some find full-time work incompatible with homeschooling. Viola, who has six children, lives in a log cabin in a rural mountainous area. She writes: “I worked part time, either as a bookkeeper or selling books on eBay [an Internet auction site]. I was on the computer too long, and it was too much.”
MONEY SEVER
Call your local school district and any local private schools and ask what they do with their discards—textbooks, desks, laboratory equipment, gloves, encyclopedias, and audio- and videotapes. Many give these away or sell them for a nominal price.
Belinda, a single parent who has homeschooled since 1994, talks about the pluses and minuses of juggling work and teaching. “I have to work to support us and direct my son’s home education at the same time. As a single mother, I have no one to consult or to share the teaching load. I get no feedback—sometimes I like that. With limited time, I cannot do all of the unschool things I would like to. My thirteen-year-old son has to take responsibility for completing his work with little supervision. We do school when I get home from work. Although I have no social life, I love spending time with my boy. It has been difficult because I have had to arrange day care instead of warehousing him in public school while I work.”
Karleen also knows about coordinating work and homeschooling. “I just came home from a full-time job, working forty hours per week the last five years while homeschooling. For the first four years, my husband was home with the girls. He mainly supervised, and I did all lesson planning. This last year my in-laws and parents supervised. I still had to check their work and so on. It was very difficult for all of us. Eventually, my workload was too much. Benefits of my working? My husband got closer to the girls during the time he was home with them, and the girls learned to teach themselves. My most helpful resource has been a database to plan my year. Lesson plans have kept us on schedule. We usually finish school within a couple of weeks of the original plan.”
HOMESCHOOL ALMOST-FOR-FREE CURRICULUM FOR TEENS
Volunteer as a computer docent at the library or at local public and private schools or at your church if you are a computer expert (computer science).
Construct history, geography, and government unit studies around real books from the library (social studies).
Volunteer with a political campaign (social studies).
Volunteer at a local science museum, veterinary clinic, or college science department (science).
Keep a daily journal, write for real-life purposes, and select your own reading at the library (English).
Call local colleges and universities and ask about speaker programs and free concerts and art exhibits (social studies, music, art).
Tune into foreign language programming on radio and television (Spanish).
Trade any needed private tutoring for housework, yard work, child care, or pet care (math, foreign language, music lessons).
Join community groups. Genealogical societies will teach you research techniques, amateur radio clubs electronics, and computer interest groups computer science (social studies, science, computer science, and much more).
Ask about book discussion groups at the library and at local bookstores (English).
Get a job (math, independent-living skills).
Apply for scholarships for summer camps and for summer college classes for teens (science, math, history, art, English).
Join 4-H or Scouts (science, social studies, language arts, art, and much more).
Join a church with programs for teenagers (religious studies, physical education, social studies).
Single parents learn to network effectively. Donna writes: “As a single parent, I am fortunate to have a fairly close family, extended family, and support network. My most helpful resources have been family, extended family and an electronic-list support group.”
Unlike typical high-schoolers whose employment too often compromises education, most homeschool teens can easily schedule ten to twenty hours of paid work each week.
Several of our survey respondents run home businesses, in-home day care being the most frequently mentioned income source. Sarah, who homeschools a son, age fifteen, and a daughter, eleven, describes her experience. “I do part-time day care and before and after school care. My children help with this—walking to and picking up from the bus stop, and helping with the baby I care for. It is hard to schedule homeschooling on the two days a week I have the baby. My children work independently on those days. I am not always free to go places, and my time is limited. We cope by opting out of some classes and field trips or by taking the baby with us. My job allows me to earn money while still homeschooling. Unfortunately, sometimes homeschooling does not get top priority anymore.”
Carrie does publishing, graphic arts, and other contract work from a computer at home. She writes: “Most of the time, it has been easy to juggle work with homeschooling. However, on occasion, my work demands many hours in a short period of time. Homeschooling either goes on without me or ceases for a few days. Sometimes my three children, ages six to fourteen, work on the things they can do independently. It can cause stress and tension. On the plus side, our older children are learning to help the younger.”
Karla has been homeschooling since 1996 in suburban Indiana. She agrees with other at-home workers that organization is key. She says, “I work part time at home as a piano teacher, so our schedule often feels very tight. I handle it by keeping us on a very regular schedule to fit everything in.”
Anita in Illinois incorporates her home education into her business. “I operate a cake-decorating business out of my home. The children learn how to run a business and to be flexible when holidays and other rush times arrive. Homeschooling has allowed our teenagers to see how much work private enterprise involves. They see the difference between gross income and net pay. Of course, cake decorating gives us more money to spend on education.”
HOW WE DID IT
Denise is a military wife. That makes her an off-and-on single parent, one who also deals with frequent moves. She writes: “I am a single parent sometimes as my husband goes out to sea often. I handle it the best way I can. If it means staying up late to finish something, I do. My children will never be at this stage again, so I try to live in such a way that I have no regrets. I might add that I have no paying job, and I do not often volunteer my time away from my family. I handle my husband’s absences and our frequent moves by emphasizing the positives. Writing to Dad when he is gone is English. Tracking the ports he visits brings geography to life, and meeting new people is always a learning experience. Homeschooling is very helpful in our situation. If we had been tied down to a school district, we would not have been as free to move. Without our moves, we would have missed wonderful experiences. Our children are closer and their education does not stop and start with each move and each new school with its different expectations. Their education just follows along with us.”
WHEN HOME EDUCATION was less common, one never heard of a stay-at-home dad homeschooling his children. Now not only do some fathers assume primary responsibility for home education, there’s even an online magazine called Homeschool Dad. It is filled with projects and articles of particular concern to homeschool fathers, including those who act as the primary teacher and facilitator.
Now not only do some fathers assume primary responsibility for home education, there’s even an online magazine called Homeschool Dad.
Bill has two grown children and three boys, two of them teenagers, at home. He has been homeschooling since 1991 and lives in a small town in British Columbia, Canada. He writes: “I am a stay-at-home dad. My wife works, and I look after the house and homeschool. I also work part time as a school bus driver from 7:00 to 9:00 and 2:30 to 4:30. I sometimes feel out of place at homeschool meetings because I am often the only dad there. We have a support group and do activities together, like field trips. It’s me and the rest of the moms. We get along great, and I am considered ‘one of the girls.’ I do have to have a good sense of humor. And I have had to explain to our children why Dad stays home while Mom works.”
DO YOU HAVE an academically talented teenager who begs for mental challenges? Or one who cannot sit still? Or a teen who has been labeled ADD, dyslexic, or otherwise learning impaired? Or a physically disabled child? If so, you are not alone. Families nationwide have found solutions.
Nobody likes the elitist word “gifted,” home educators least of all it seems. Maybe that comes from being around children and realizing that every single one of them has special gifts. So, let’s try the term “academically talented.” This section deals primarily with academically talented teens—those who find grade-level materials boring and those who take advanced, college-level course work—as well as those who score high on IQ tests.
Jane describes how home education benefits their fourteen-year-old son. “The school gifted program was one day per week—clearly not enough. With homeschooling, the sky is the limit. Best of all, we have eliminated stupid busy work.” Karleen, mother two academically advanced girls, agrees on the superiority of home education over public schooling. “We tune into their abilities and learning styles. With homeschooling, we can customize learning to interests and abilities. They go into as much depth as they desire in areas of interest. They use approaches and resources that work best for them. For example, both prefer real books and hands-on experiences to textbooks.”
Molly in Gunnison, Colorado, writes about their family: “I have two identified gifted children, one in the 150+ IQ category. It has been hard occasionally because well-meaning friends think I push them too hard. They push themselves. We like to let the girls go as fast and far as they can and then if we want to spend months on a sidetrack, I know we have time. We will be using college courses for more subjects as they mature.”
Janice sees her role as clearing a path for her academically talented son. She says, “It has been challenging to meet our son’s needs. I sometimes have to be a ‘pushy’ mom to make sure our son is challenged. Early admission to a local community college has been very helpful, and homeschooling has been beneficial. Without it, Steven would have been a straight-A student, but would not have reached his potential. He has thrived with one-on-one tutoring and self-directed learning.”
Learning difficulties such as dyslexia and attention deficit disorder (ADD) motivate many families to begin home education. Some see problems miraculously disappear, once the student leaves school. Others find that a combination of patience, one-on-one instruction, and appropriate materials and pacing can make a world of difference.
Claudia uses labels to describe her situation, but avoids them with her children. “I have two children who would have been diagnosed as dyslexic, one with ADD. I let them learn at their own pace and try different methods until something works. We allow that just as some people never learn to play a musical instrument and are still okay people, so not being able to read does not disqualify you from being a neat person. Funnily enough, learning to read music was the turning point for both of them in learning to read words. We treat each family member as an individual with strengths and weaknesses, and search for individual solutions without labeling. Our best resources have been people, places, libraries, and open minds and loving hearts.”
Kristin, homeschooling for four years, believes in individual instruction. “Our daughter, sixteen, has learning difficulties. She has improved enormously in the one-to-one environment. We alternate between feeling overwhelmed and knowing that we can do better than the public school. We just keep working. One on one does the trick.”
At the same time, some parents have doubts. Rena has been homeschooling her thirteen-year-old son for three years. She writes: “I have a teen who was not getting what he needed from school. At home he works at his own level and is not so discouraged with himself. I always wonder if we do enough because progress is slow.”
Others, like Trudy, succeed with a bits and pieces approach. She says, “I have an ADD/dyslexic child who has never been in school. I think my son does better at home with individualized instruction that he would in school. We were told ‘dyslexic children hate to read.’ He’s a prolific reader. He has a short attention span, is impulsive, and gets frustrated easily. At home, he can learn in bits and pieces.”
Annette also works one on one. “Although not diagnosed, I believe James is mildly dyslexic. At home, he is able to relax and concentrate. I have seen his dyslexic tendencies greatly improve over the course of a year. For instance, when copying math problems to his notebook, he would often copy the problem incorrectly. When I graded his papers, I would circle these and we would always correct them before moving on to the next lesson. In public school, he would have simply gotten a bad grade, and that would be the end of it. By constantly correcting these types of errors, he is beginning to see that slowing down, concentrating and paying attention will help him in the long run.”
Karleen points out that communication and sensitivity go a long way. She writes: “One of our daughters, although gifted, is a very energetic, emotional, and noisy person. I have little doubt that some teacher along the way would have counseled us to test her for ADD. We handle it by tuning into her needs. She has always been able to concentrate on things that interested her. With other subjects, she would become antsy very quickly. When that happened, I would let her change activities or simply do something physical. She is always tapping her fingers or feet to some inner music. This would drive my other daughter and me crazy because we are easily distracted by noise. Each of us worked on being sensitive to each other’s needs. Over the years, our noisy daughter learned to leave the room to make her sounds. And my other daughter and I now tolerate the sounds for a longer period of time.”
SIMPLE TECHNIQUES TO DEAL WITH LEARNING DIFFICULTIES
Keep him company; work one on one.
Work at student’s ability level, not necessarily at grade level.
Work at appropriate pace; slow down and speed up as needed.
Adapt to his learning style.
Emphasize areas in which your teen shines.
DO DEAFNESS, BLINDNESS, mental retardation, chronic illness, or other disabling conditions preclude home education? Certainly not. While ten years ago, it was difficult to find homeschoolers in similar situations, the growth of homeschooling and the advent of the Internet have changed everything.
Best advice for those dealing with physical handicaps? First, give yourself a support system. Look two places—within the homeschooling community and within groups of parents who deal with similar disabilities. Second, schedule breaks and respite care at least weekly. Tired parents cannot provide optimal care and education.
SINGLE-CHILD FAMILIES and large families face different homeschooling challenges. Camille in Hawaii writes: “We have an only child, now thirteen. There are no older children to help teach or do housework. And she has no one to keep her company when I go to the office or do other errands.”
Loneliness can be a problem for families homeschooling only children. These parents usually need to make greater efforts to satisfy their teenager’s need for companionship. Kate, who lives in the greater Los Angeles area, volunteers some solutions. “We have an only child, now fifteen and always homeschooled. I have sought out and included other youth in enrichment trips to museums, concerts, and sporting events. Boy Scouts has been an integral part of our homeschooling. Support groups and church associations have also been very helpful.”
HOW WE DID IT
We find that our learning-disabled son does better out of school than in. He learns best with one-on-one attention. He progresses because we will not let him get away with laziness. Of course, we have modified his program to fit his needs, to stretch him intellectually without being overwhelming. It took most of the first year of homeschooling for Ted to see academic success. He is now a reader. And this summer’s work on fractions has shown him that he can do math.
It will probably take another year or two to iron out writing difficulties. Ted has always been a difficult child. Always. A lot of time he is no fun to be around. When he was little, I decided that I did not want to homeschool him because he was such a challenge. Unfortunately, school does not help. In our experience, schooling leaves Ted worse off. If he is going to make it in life, I am the only one who will put forth the effort to instill necessary skills. So I go on. Sometimes he is just delightful. The most helpful resources I have found have been on the Internet. One excellent site on learning disabilities simply says to use what works and ignore what does not. It has given me the courage and expert backing to follow my gut instincts.
—TESS IN CANONSBURG, PENNSYLVANIA
Large families, of course, deal with an entirely different set of challenges. Marta details some of the trade-offs. “Seven children (all daughters) means homeschooling with limited funds. I have learned to use the public library, to make my own materials, and to accept used and donated items. Scheduling is difficult. When the girls request an activity outside the home, I have to ask, ‘How much does it cost?’ and ‘How will you get there?’ Often the time and transportation to one activity conflicts with another. The girls have had to learn to work on their own since I cannot work with each of them all the time. They help each other with both academics and household chores.”
Loneliness can be a problem for families homeschooling only children. These parents usually need to make greater efforts to satisfy their teenager’s need for companionship.
Marta, homeschooling her brood since 1997, continues, “Despite the problems, homeschooling is best for large families. I no longer think about organizing around the school schedule. My husband’s only day off is Monday, so that is his day with the girls. When they were in school, half the day was wasted. Now he sees more of our daughters. And family trips can be any time.”
Tom and Sherry Bushnell in their article from the NATHHAN News, “Hints for Mothers of Many Children,” say that the two most important things that mothers in large families can do are stay rested and take time to plan. I agree. Sounds like good advice for all homeschooling special situations.
Write down how you would homeschool your teenagers if you only had $25 per child per year. Even if you have unlimited funds, you may surprise yourself with creative educational strategies.
Make a budget for homeschooling. Include expenditures per child per year and decide what items will be purchased with the money allocated. Ask you teenagers for budget suggestions and listen carefully to their ideas.
If you are giving up a salaried job to homeschool, research work-at-home opportunities. Those who create successful situations often begin with an inventory of their own assets and skills.
If you have a special-needs teenager (such as academically talented, dyslexic, physically challenged), network with others to learn about helpful approaches and resources. Begin with the reading listed below under Resources.
If you have an only child or a large family or if you are a single parent or a homeschooling stay-at-home father, realistically assess the potential problems. Find support and decide how to handle those problems at the onset.
Dacyczyn, Amy. The Complete Tightwad Gazette: Promoting Thrift As a Viable Alternative Lifestyle. Random House, 1999.
Hendrickson, Borg. How to Write a Low-Cost/No-Cost Curriculum for Your Homeschool. Mountain Meadow Press, 1995.
Kenyon, Mary Potter and Lisa Laurance. Homeschooling from Scratch: Simple Living—Super Learning. Gazelle Publications, 1996.
McCoy, Jonni. Miserly Moms. Holly Hall Publishing, 1996.
Morgan, Melissa and Judith Waite Allee. Homeschooling on a Shoestring. Harold Shaw Publishers, 1999.
Williams, Jane. How to Stock a Home Library Inexpensively. Bluestocking Press, 1995.
The Back Pack, 252-244-0738, http://www.thebackpack.com
The Book Cellar, 800-338-4257, e-mail bookcellar@juno.com
The Book Peddler, 800-928-1760, e-mail The Book Peddler@juno.com
The Homeschool Publishing House, 508-892-4307, http://www.bravewc.com/hph
Home School Used Book and Curriculum Exchange, http://www.homeschoolusedbooks.com
Laurelwood Publications, 540-554-2670, e-mail Laurelwood@juno.com
Library Shelf, http://www.libraryshelf.com
The Swap, http://www.theswap.com
Twaddle Free Books, 804-749-4859
Galbraith, Judy, James Delisle, and Pamela Espeland. The Gifted Kids Survival Guide: A Teen Handbook. Free Spirit Publishing, 1996.
Olenchak, Richard. They Say My Kid’s Gifted: Now What? Prufrock Press, 1998.
Webb, James T. Guiding the Gifted Child: A Practical Source for Parents and Teachers. Gifted Psychology Press, 1989.
Yahnke, Sally. The Survival Guide for Parenting Gifted Kids. Free Spirit Publishing, 1991.
Gifted Child Today, 800-998-2208, http://www.prufrock.com
Gifted Education Review, 303-670-8350.
National Association for Gifted Children, 202-785-4268, http://www.nagc.com
Armstrong, Thomas. The Myth of the A.D.D. Child: 50 Ways to Improve Your Child’s Behavior and Attention Span Without Drugs, Labels, or Coercion. Plume, 1997.
Crook, William G. Help for the Hyperactive Child. Professional Books, 1991.
Davis, Ronald D. The Gift of Dyslexia. Perigree, 1997.
Herzog, Joyce. Choosing and Using Curriculum for Your Special Child. Greenleaf Press, 1996.
Moore, Raymond and Dorothy. School Can Wait. Brigham Young University Press, 1989.
Reichenburg-Ullman, Judyth. Ritalin Free Kids. Prima Publishing, 1996.
Rosner, Jerome. Helping Children Overcome Learning Difficulties. Walker and Company, 1993.
Seiderman, Arthur S. and Steven E. Marcus. 20/20 Is Not Enough. Mass Market Paperback, 1991.
Turecki, Stanley, M.D. Difficult Child. Bantam Doubleday Dell, 1989.
ADD Action Group, providing alternative solutions for ADD, learning difficulties, dyslexia, and autism, 212-769-2457
Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (CHADD), 800-233-4050, http://www.chadd.org
Homeschooling Kids with Disabilities, http://members.tripod.com/~Maaja
NATHHAN (NATional CHallenged Homeschoolers Association Network), 206-857-4257, http://www.nathhan.com
PAVE (Parents Active for Vision Education), 800-PAVE988, http://www.pave-eye/~vision.com
HomeSchool Dad Magazine, an online publication, www.homeschooldad.com
Military Home Educators Network, http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Village/6678/
NATHHAN (see above)
Federal Resources for Educational Excellence (FREE), http://www.ed.gov/free/
