Anabelle came awake with a start. “No!!!!”
From beside her, a voice said, “Shh, you were dreaming.”
Her head snapped around. In the dim light coming from a lamp in the corner, she saw him. “Gid? What are you…?” She gasped and her hand clapped over her mouth briefly. “I remember. She’s dead, isn’t she?”
“Yeah.”
She scanned her bedroom, the same as always, but so different today. “I don’t…why are you here?”
“We were…are both destroyed. I drove you home and stayed.” His eyes were rimmed with red and his hair still damp.
“I remember sobbing in the living room.”
“Along with me.”
She gave him a wobbly smile, then searched for his hand on the mattress. When it came up to meet hers, she held it tightly.
“Lay back,” he whispered.
She did, then realized she’d been sleeping on his pillow. They were both in their clothes from last night sans shoes. He’d drawn up the red fleece throw at the bottom of the bed.
“We didn’t do…you know, have sex. We were too upset.”
“I’m not sure whether I’m happy or sad about that.”
“Huh.”
Her eyes filled without warning. She turned into him, and the scent of him was soothing. “Oh, Gideon. It was my fault.”
“You tried that line last night. The only fault here I can see is on the Savage Sisters and The Good Girls.”
“That’s who the other gang was?”
“I saw the news this morning on my phone. I’ve been up awhile. They’re a girl gang from over in Bayview. When they were driven out of there, they went to New York, but now they’re targeting Hidden Cove for their new home.”
She swallowed hard. “Who—who stabbed TJ?”
“Don’t know yet. SWAT’s giving a report today, but my guess is they don’t know how it went down either.”
“Poor TJ. She’d just met a guy, after all this time. She was happy and looking forward to the future.” Tears coursed down Anabelle’s cheeks. “I really liked her.”
“Everybody did. This is a big blow to all of us.”
“We need more people on the task force.”
“Maybe. But we shouldn’t make any big decisions in this emotional state.”
She cocked her head. “How come you’re so rational?”
“I wasn’t last night. Now I’m thinking more clearly.”
“What time is it?”
“Six.”
“What do you think will happen today?”
“There’s a meeting at eleven. The chief ordered everybody to stay home until then.”
Sliding down, she put her head on his chest. “Can we sleep more?”
“I hope so.”
She closed her eyes.
When she awoke, she found Gideon on the side of the bed, his hand on her arm. “Hey, sleepyhead, you have to get up now.”
She opened her eyes. And remembered. Again.
“It’s the worst time, isn’t it? The next morning when it hits you?”
“Yeah.”
“Sit up and have some coffee.”
She eased up to lean against the headboard. “You’re dressed.”
“Yeah. I went home in time to get the kids off to school. Mama said they didn’t know anything.”
“Did you leave it at that?”
“No, I told them that there was an incident last night in case they hear about it in school. I heard on the TV that the department hasn’t announced TJ’s death yet. The kids know I’m fine.”
She sipped her coffee. It was dark and bitter and suited her.
“But, you gotta shower.” He leaned in and kissed her nose. “You smell like I did.”
“I guess.”
“I’ll make breakfast.”
“No, I couldn’t eat.”
“That’s the worst thing we can do. We have to take care of ourselves so we can sort this out and deal with our feelings.”
“All right.”
He stood. She pulled his head down. Kissed him on the lips. Then said, “I know, my breath.”
He chuckled. “I’ll be in the kitchen.”
* * *
Coffee and donuts awaited them in the conference room. Brolin and Radford took cups of java, but no one touched the sweets. Chief Jaspers and Mayor Daniels sat with them. The chief wouldn’t be complimenting them today.
“Hi, everybody. I hope you got sleep.” This from Jaspers. His voice was crisp and no nonsense but his face was taut, his shoulders stiff.
The mayor leaned forward and made eye contact with each of them. “Anabelle, Gideon, Andy, Buck, I’m so sorry about your colleague.”
They nodded out of respect.
“Do you know how TJ got hurt?” Anabelle asked.
“SWAT thinks that one of the gang members on the ground had a knife in her boot,” the chief said sadly. “The girl got TJ when she went in with the EMT’s and tried to help the injured.”
Gideon’s hands fisted. “Unbelievable.”
“What I want to do today is debrief about the incident. I’m not going to say mistakes because nobody made one except the girls who fought.”
“We didn’t have enough people.” Radford’s face was drawn, and he slumped back in the chair.
“Let’s address that. If you had more members, what would you have done differently?”
“We could have intervened in the fight. Tried to disarm them,” Buck retorted.
“You’d try to disarm two groups of gang members who were high on adrenaline and who knows what else? With no protective equipment.”
His stark answer landed on its targets.
“Listen, I can get you more people if you need them. Or even another task force. But know right now, if you honestly think you should have gone, without protection and equipment like SWAT, into the middle of that melee, I’m going to ask you to resign from the task force and the department.”
No one spoke. Finally, Anabelle sat forward. “I know we shouldn’t have gone in. We didn’t. We did some right things.”
“We all had guns.” This from Buck. “Should we have used them?”
“Shot blindly into a crowd of girls?” Jaspers asked, brows raised. “Do you have any idea what a nightmare we’d be facing now? Innocent bystanders could have been hit by stray bullets. Law suits would be filed by watchdogs. No, Buck, you shouldn’t have shot into the crowd.”
Mayor Daniels sighed. “Let’s talk about what you’re going to do. First, you’re all going in for counseling before you can go out on a call. Jack Harrison, the fire department psychologist, is stepping in to do it.”
“Counseling?” Buck’s tone was defiant. He looked like hell this morning with messy hair and a scruff on his jaw. “No way. Not for me.”
“You know people are sidelined after they lose a comrade, Brolin.” This from Jaspers. “You’re no different.”
Gideon said, “Shut up, Brolin. You got pain eating away at you and you’re acting out. And Harrison is a great guy.”
Brolin stood and walked out the door.
Radford’s eyes filled. “I need help dealing with this.”
Gideon and Anabelle confirmed they did, too.
Everything seemed bleak, but still Anabelle straightened her shoulders and spoke up. “I want to talk about increasing the number of cops on our task force.”
Good for her, Gideon thought. He’d been afraid she’d never recover after how bad she was last night. He was glad she was getting back to her old self. They all had a lot to face in the coming days.
* * *
In her room upstairs, Carina sat on her canopied bed with a laptop in front of her. She’d frozen the screen, which showed a photo of two gang girls trying to kill each other.
Her father went to that scene. Carina had been able to handle his doing this job until he started living here. Then she worried about him every time he went to work.
Today, the kids at school told her somebody died in the call he went to last night. So, she’d gone to the nurse and Nana came and got her and the other kids. Oh, no, what would she, Cassie and Cory do if something happened to him? She should be nicer to him. She shouldn’t wall him out, like she did sometimes. Or upset him with Brandon. She should be a better person than she was. Pushing the laptop aside, she slid under the covers and pulled them over her head.
* * *
“Are you going to be all right?” Gideon asked Anabelle after the meeting broke up. They were still in the conference room but everybody else had left.
“What? Am I going to lose my shit again?”
“I lost mine, too, remember.”
“I’ll be okay now.” She touched his arm. “Gid, I needed everything you did for me. It was exactly right. I can function today.” She took a bead on him. “Something else is wrong. I can tell.”
“I have to go home. Apparently, Carina heard about TJ’s death and my mother had to go get her. She thought it best to bring Cory and Cassie home, too.”
“Go. They need you.”
He cupped her cheek first in a tender gesture that made her eyes well again. Then, she watched him leave. He’d been a lifeline, a comforter, and commiserated with her. She’d deal with how she felt about him later. Now, she had to re-group.
Sitting in her office, she tried to order her thoughts on the task force. She was making lists on the computer when Radford poked his head in. “Can we talk a minute?”
“Sure.”
He entered and sat. “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
Keep calm. If your team falls apart, you can handle it. “Why, Andy? Is your family upset?”
“Yeah. But not because of that.”
“Why, then?”
“Because we’re not making a difference. TJ—” He cut himself off and sucked in a breath.
“I know you were close.”
“She and Ellie volunteered at a shelter after our domestic violence call.”
“I didn’t know.”
“Anyway, what’s the point?”
“Of being a cop?”
“Yeah.”
“You miss a hundred percent of the shots you don’t take. If none of us try to keep order in this town, there won’t be any.”
He glanced away. “I keep seeing her lying on the ground, bleeding out.”
“This is why we all need counseling. To get help coping with images like that. Promise me you won’t quit until we’ve gone through therapy. If you still want out afterward, I won’t object.”
When Radford left, she was even more depressed. Man, what next?
The answer to that walked in ten minutes later. Winnie Wyatt stood tall with her shoulders back and her brown eyes were determined. “Winnie?”
“I told them I was your mother, and they showed me up to your floor. I’m sorry but I had to see for myself that you’re all right.”
“Physically, yes.”
“But not emotionally.” She nodded to Anabelle’s hands, linked in a death grip on the desk. “That tells me yes. Besides, there’s no way you could be fine after what happened.”
Anabelle rose and closed the door, then they sat in the two chairs in front of her desk. “I’m devastated. The entire team is. I—I don’t know what to do now.”
“Hmm. I’m surprised you’re working today.”
“I’m not. We have some furlough. I don’t want to go home to an empty house.”
“Then come to mine for the day.”
“What? No, I don’t want to intrude. Joe and Ariel could stop in.”
“I called him and asked him not to. Joe understood. He said to tell you he’s sorry for what you’re going through.”
“He left me because of situations like this.”
“That doesn’t mean he still doesn’t love you.” Winnie stood. “Now, grab whatever you need. You’re leaving with me.”
* * *
“Hello, I’m home.”
“Back here, Gid.” Just the sound of his mother’s voice was comforting. He found her at the table with the kids, eating lunch. All three bolted up and took turns hugging him. “Thanks, guys. I needed that. But know that I’m safe.”
“Did somebody really die, Daddy?” this from six-year-old Cassie.
“Yes, sweetheart.”
She peered up at him, her eyes full of innocence. “Are you going to die?”
“No.”
Carina’s face reddened. He knew she was thinking that he couldn’t promise that. But shit, Cassie was only six and he had to reassure her.
“Sorry, Dad,” Cory said after he stepped back. “Grandma told us we could pray for your friend TJ. We all did together.”
“Considering TJ’s in heaven,” he lied. “She’ll like hearing from you.”
“Lunch?” his mother asked.
“No, thanks I had a big breakfast. I’ll have coffee, but I’ll get it.”
She stood anyway and put her arms around him. He held her tightly. Mama was used to her children being in danger and Seth’s stabbing last summer only proved to them all that no one is safe. But she needed comfort too.
Carina moved her sandwich around the plate, but Cory and Cassie finished theirs. His mother suggested, “Want to come next door with me? Mike, Mattie and Pete are staying with us after school because Ali and Derek are in New York.”
“Yeah!”
“Can we go see Mellie again?” Cassie asked.
“I think we can.”
“Nana, I want to stay with Dad. Okay?”
“Of course, baby.”
After Mama got the kids out, Carina and Gideon sat alone at the table. This time she got coffee like an adult. “I know you’re worried about me, honey.”
“How can I not be?”
“Well, for one, the police chief ordered us all to go to counseling. I’ve decided you need to go, too. I’ve been thinking about that for a while now. I rarely ask you for anything, but I’d like you to do this willingly.”
She sighed.
“I don’t wanna go either, honey.”
“Do you think it’ll help?”
“I do. I—”
From the front of the house they heard, “Anybody home?”
Carina’s eyes widened. “Is that…?” She threw back her chair and ran to the foyer.
He followed her. In his living room stood his ex-wife, Lisa.
Gideon felt like the universe had conspired against him.