CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
Roxanne comes up to me and says, “If I have to clear one more of your tables, I’m going to have a serious talk about you with Ed.”
I respond, “If you want to suck Ed’s dick, go for it, Bitch.”
Roxanne is so shocked, I walk away without so much as a snippy rejoinder. I know my victory is short -lived because the Pit’s head waitress is an evolved bully. You can usually stand up to a bully, and they’ll leave you alone. Stand up to Roxanne, and she digs in deeper. And though I’m sure that nobody, anywhere, will trade sexual favors for Ed’s allegiance, Roxanne is plenty vindictive (and creative enough) to get me in other ways. She’ll wrangle control of the schedule and assign me the worst shifts. She’ll throw her weight around and wrestle command of the hostess station then give me the terrible tippers and perverts. She might even take burned food from the kitchen and deliver it on my behalf then blame me when the diners complain. It’s happened before, and now I’m sure it’ll happen again.
But I don’t care. I’ve been at the end of my rope for a while now, and even though the Nosh Pit seems trendy on the outside, it’s a butthole to work in. Other than Roxanne and the cooks, no one stays longer than a year, usually far less. Everyone’s already sure that Abigail’s escaped with her musician, Gavin, and isn’t coming back. I’m already hearing dissent from Jen even though she’s new. So what if I get fired — I won’t have to deal with Roxanne or Ed or the dickheads she’ll give me to serve. I’ll be out of money fast if I don’t mange to land one of the other, surprisingly rare jobs in town that I’m qualified for, at least on paper. But I’ll ask my parents if I need more money. Hell, I’ll live with them if it comes to that. I’ve never been willing to do that before, but I’ve reached my limit.
Beyond Roxanne’s general bitchiness, something wrong is in the air — today, yesterday, this whole week.
I swear, word has spread. The code of silence, with me and the men I’ve been with, might turn out to mean nothing. Chadd came at me as if he knew I’d succumb to his charms, as if he knew he’d score in advance. That’s happened a few times lately. I’m either radiating something, or I’ve earned a reputation. Even the word reputation makes my skin crawl. I swear I’m not one of those girls; I’m just fucked up beyond my ability to resist — or have been, until today. But then again, I guess I’ve been one of those girls plenty over the past years. Really, why should Grady ever want me?
I try to breathe and think. I’m on edge. Paranoid.
But paranoia aside, the Nosh Pit has been nothing but trouble. Ed makes me pick up shifts when others get hurt or can’t make it. He tries to grope me and calls me Sugar Tits. Roxanne sees me as a cruel experiment, seeing how far I’ll bend before breaking. Customers, I swear, are getting worse.
And now this.
Tommy visiting the Nosh Pit out of the blue, talking about the daughter he’s abandoned.
And now his time bomb of a text message, which I’ve already spent the first half of my shift worrying might be prelude to an appointment I don’t want to have.
Get together? Tommy’s use of that specific phrase has to be a wink-wink, maybe blackmail. I’m not sure what he wants, appearing now of all times, but he’s nothing but slime. Yesterday, I felt myself attracted to him, yes, but that’s just my trigger. In the clear light of reason, I see Tommy differently.
He’s an ass.
A worthless piece of shit.
I’d never want anything to do with Tommy, socially or physically, ever again.
But, still, there’s the presumption in his text: Get together, assumed as compliance, when I made it clear I wanted nothing of his offer. What does he expect, for me to let him into Mackenzie’s life or suffer the threat of a threesome as my only alternative? And if so, why? He’s been worse than absentee so far. Who does that, and how does it make sense? He’s only allowed to wield one hammer over me, and I guess it’s the knowledge of what I did in the bathroom with Chadd. He can’t use that same weapon twice: trying to curry sexual favor and also … also doing whatever this is with my daughter. Our daughter, by blood if by nothing else.
He can’t possibly want to be Mac’s father now, after all this time. Tommy isn’t the kind of guy who has midlife epiphanies, mainly because I’m sure he thinks he’ll never die. He hasn’t checked in with Mac once before now; I told him I was pregnant, and he went darker than North Korea. I could have pursued him for support, but I was glad to have him gone and ashamed to admit I’d been with him. Sure, I’d yearned. But reality was so different from the fantasy, and while I would have welcomed an encore with Tommy in my panties before now, I never wanted him anywhere else.
Regardless, I make my way through my shift with grim determination, sure that Tommy won’t text again but will instead simply appear. I’m not sure exactly what he’s after, but I know this isn’t a problem that will simply go away.
And then, of course, there he is. Right by the window. Looking like his usual, cocky self. Staring directly at me with sex in his eyes as if he knows what I look like naked, because of course he does.
Roxanne comes up beside me. I can tell she’s been waiting all shift to say the wrong thing to me, but what gets me most — and embarrasses me on her behalf — is that I can tell she’s drooling over Tommy. Her breath is a bit too deep and slow, and she’s spending more time looking at him than me, which is unusual. Roxanne has the eye of a tiger. Nothing gets in the way of her bitchy vengeance — except, it seems, one of Inferno’s hottest eligible bachelors.
She’s in my way. I try to pass, but she won’t move.
“Excuse me,” I say in my least polite voice.
Roxanne looks back at me with scorn.
“I need to get to my table.”
“That’s not your table,” Roxanne says. “That’s mine.”
It’s been my table all day. But right now, she looks like a jungle cat. Her eyes are hard. Her cheeks are blushed. I look back to see that Tommy is now giving her his sexy look, and I’m shocked to realize my first instinct is to step between them — not because I want Tommy more, but because not even Roxanne deserves to be taken in by him. He’s claimed enough victims. I feel like I now have an inoculation against him, so like the lone soldier outfitted with body armor, it’s my responsibility to jump on the grenade.
“Get out of my way, Roxanne.”
But of course she doesn’t listen. I’ve nudged up beside her, but she’s pushing me away, not subtle at all. I see Tommy smirk. Because of course, this is how women debase themselves around him daily.
Roxanne moves ahead, and I do the first thing that comes to mind. Jen just filled a pitcher of iced tea, so I shove it off the counter to spill it down Roxanne’s front.
“What the hell do you think you’re — ” she begins, her voice thick with venom and surprise.
But I’m out in front. Crossing to Tommy’s table, leaving her to dance in a spreading puddle, her skirt wet like she just had a massive accident. I can hear blubbering from behind, knowing it might be prelude to a tantrum, and maybe a catfight. But nothing happens. I arrive in front of Tommy, and now he’s all hilarity, watching me and what I assume is Roxanne behind us, pleased because he’s sure this was all for his kingly benefit.
“Wow,” he says.
“What do you want, Tommy?”
“She’s cute. What’s her name? That girl you just assaulted for me.”
“Stop screwing around,” I say. “Say what you’re here to say.”
“I came to see you.”
“Why? I don’t want anything to do with you.”
“Oh, come on, Maya,” he says, again trying on that smile that so recently would have melted my panties. How could I ever have been attracted to this man? He’s so transparent. Roxanne shouldn’t be mad at me. I saved her. “Don’t we deserve a second chance?”
“Did we ever have a first?”
“A first I’ll never forget.”
My jaw hardens. Everything he does has gone from sexy to impotent. Tommy can’t hurt me. He can expose me, but that’s all. He’s a pompous asshole, nothing more. He’s powerless. He can do the worst I fear, but I’ll never bow before him. I can’t believe I ever did … and was so eager to repeat my performance.
“What’s this really about, Tommy?”
A hundred lies stream across his expression. But he must see a change in me because he sort of relaxes, seeming to decide I won’t be duped. “Grady really got his hooks in you, didn’t he?”
“Grady is none of your business. Nor is anything I do.”
“Your daughter is my business.”
“Don’t you threaten me.”
“Jesus, Maya. Relax. I’m just saying. She’s my daughter, too.”
“You stay out of my business. You have no right to contact me, and definitely no right, after all this time, to contact Mackenzie.”
“I thought we were friends. Where is this coming from?”
Tommy finishes with his puppy dog look. It’s another tool in his box — another false face meant to get him what he wants. I don’t know for sure what Tommy does for a living, but I know he makes a lot of money. Something in finance? Maybe real estate? I know he makes deals, and negotiations are his bread and butter. Perfect for a scheming bastard like he’s always been.
“So is that what this is about? Is it about Grady?”
“I’m just noticing a change in you since he came back.” Tommy fake sighs. “I just hope you’re not believing what he’s saying.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“He just needs to auction off that house. That’s all. You know that, right? Then he’s out of here. But I know how you are, Maya. I don’t want you to get hurt again, like you did the first time he left you.”
I don’t want to be affected by anything he says, but deep down, that hurt. Tommy has a way of speaking that’s hard to disbelieve, even when you know how awful he is. He hasn’t given me any new information; I knew about the auction, the way he once left me, and even a planned (now supposedly rejected) trip to Alaska that Tommy didn’t mention. But whereas thirty seconds ago I felt bulletproof in my convictions about Grady, his putting them in line like that makes them feel daunting, like a pointed weapon.
“What’s between me and Grady is none of your business.”
Tommy pretends to reach a pitying revelation. “You think he’ll stay, don’t you?”
“That’s not your concern.”
“It’s my concern when my daughter’s involved. I don’t want that man around Mackenzie, Maya.”
My face doesn’t even know how to respond to Tommy’s monumental absurdity. Since when has he cared about Mackenzie? She doesn’t even know he’s her father. Since when has he cared about anyone? I want to laugh in his face, but anger rises to trump it.
“You’re kidding.”
I’m seated at the table’s edge, and now, unbelievably, Tommy reaches over to take both my hands in his. I snatch my hands back, away from his repugnant touch.
“We could be a family, you know.”
My eyebrows furrow. I feel my forehead wrinkle, lost in vertigo and disbelief.
“I know you don’t have a lot of money. I can help you.”
I move to stand in fury, but this time he grabs my hand and manages to hold it, keeping me where I am.
“Okay,” he says, his voice finally free of bullshit, as if he’s realized I won’t be played. “I’ll tell it to you straight. There is something big brewing in town. Very big. But the people involved … ” He sighs. “They’re conservative. Morally driven people. I can make this deal, but my chances are much better if I’m a family man.”
A sinister smile (in my mind, it’s like the wiliest smile of the Grinch) crawls across my face. I finally have the power to crush Tommy’s hope.
“A family man,” I repeat. I won’t hang Tommy yet. First, I want him to lay out the rope.
“Just think about it for a second,” he says. “Forget our past and — ”
“The past where you slept with me once and then shunned me. The past where you got me pregnant then spent all the time in between now and then pretending our child didn’t exist, and offering no help at all.”
“What’s done is done. Just listen for a minute … please,” he says, his beautiful face far less appealing to me than it’s ever been before. I can see right through him. Now that his cards are faceup on the table, it’s all so obvious. He wanted to seduce me into this, leading me into his command as easily as he could have dragged Roxanne to his table by an invisible leash. But I no longer want him because he’s a bastard and I have Grady. Now, he’ll beg instead.
“‘What’s done is done,’ Tommy?”
“Yes, it’s done,” he says, his voice irritated, arrogance blooming. “Start from today. Really think about this, Maya. I can give you security. I can give our daugh — ”
“She’s not yours, Tommy. Not in any way that counts.”
“Fine. I can give your daughter security, if you’re willing to move in. Come to an event or two with me — both of you — and look the part. You don’t need to see me more than that. And what I make on this deal, we can split.”
“Ah, profit. The foundation of every successful family.” I feel my face twist into dismissiveness. I stand, satisfied for once to leave Tommy in the lurch instead of the other way around.
Tommy seems disappointed for a second, but then there’s a change. “Well, if you’re not interested in playing house with me in the name of business, maybe I should talk to Grady.”
I won’t ask. I won’t feed the fire I can see sparking behind his eyes.
“Grady has been gone for a long time, Maya. I’ve stuck around. I have friends, and friends hear things. Friends do things.” A smile perks the corner of his mouth. “I’d bet Grady doesn’t know you half as well as I do these days.” Deliberately, his eyes flit to the bathroom. “So maybe he and I should get together. Man to man. And I can fill him in on all he’s missed.”
“Grady would never talk to you.” I hold my voice steady, though I can barely breathe.
“Maybe others then. Grady’s friend Brandon and I orbit in a few of the same circles. Even your parents belong to my church.”
I can’t imagine Tommy in church, and I’ve never seen him in ours. I’m sure he couldn’t walk through the front door without bursting into flames, but guys like Tommy have their hooks in everything. If I push him, he’ll explain. And it’s not hard to get into a church, especially when you have juicy gossip about some of the most prominent members’ daughters.
I find my words with effort. “Are you threatening me?”
He glances again at the bathroom then meets my eyes. He looks at me like we’re already in bed. I want to smash his face. I want to pick up one of these chairs and beat him unconscious. I might, too. But what can I do? He’s got me, with truth as his weapon. I wasn’t giving Tommy rope to hang himself. Instead, it seems I’ve spent a decade braiding a long one for myself, stringing it from the gallows and handing the hangman’s mask to Tommy with a bow.
“I’m showing you how great my offer is,” he says.
I want to kill him. I want to scratch and claw and bite.
But Tommy looks right at me, makes infuriating seductive faces, and adds, “Look at the upside. Once we’re together, there are all kinds of ways to enjoy ourselves like we used to.”