| |
LIZZY WOKE FIRST, SEVERAL hours later. She could hear the wind shrieking outside the cottage, and there were drafts bringing the air into them. When she looked up, the fire was still burning nicely, so Mr. Darcy must have tended to it a while ago.
Thinking of him brought home just how close she was to him. In her sleep, she had turned over so that her stomach was against his, her breasts pressing against his chest. He was sleeping, and in the firelight, his cheeks appeared flushed, giving him a healthy glow. His lips were parted softly as he slept, and she could not resist the urge to brush hers against his, recalling the kiss they had shared earlier.
When his eyelashes didn’t flutter open, and his mouth remained soft against hers, she deepened the kiss cautiously. She did not wish to take liberties he did not want to give, but since they had already shared kisses, it did not seem like too big of an impertinence to kiss him again.
When that failed to rouse him, she allowed herself a moment to stare at him. His dark hair had curled and waved from the snow, and he was clearly drying his top hat as well. He had rough, slightly angular features, making him more ruggedly handsome than classically beautiful. She liked that about him. He seemed rather like a man, versus Charles’s boyish features, which never seemed to age, though she’d only known him two years.
She eased back slightly, allowing her gaze to go lower. She could feel the hard heat of his arousal pressing against her thigh, but she wanted to see it for herself. She lifted the blanket enough to allow her to do so, though it was still too dim in the cottage to make out much. She could see the basic shape, but she decided the only way to know for sure how he was fashioned was to feel him.
She paused for a moment, evaluating her situation. Was she acting out of character because of her head injury, or was she simply giving in to desire because she was so close to him? Would she have done such actions had she had not injured her head?
She couldn’t be completely confident in the answer, but Lizzy realized she didn’t really care. She was thinking clearly now, and she knew exactly what she was doing, and possibly initiating, when she moved her hand to grasp his shaft and stroke it lightly in an experimental fashion. It was thick and cylindrical, and his skin was velvety soft, but there was a hard iron core beneath, and she squeezed lightly.
He moaned, and his eyes opened. He seemed lost for a moment, but then he blinked, and his jaw dropped. “Miss Elizabeth, I believe you are dreaming.”
She chuckled. “No, I am not dreaming.”
He frowned. “Then surely I am dreaming. It would not be the first time I have imagined this.”
Carefully, she slid her hand up and down his member, exploring the contours and squeezing lightly. When she rubbed her thumb under the underside, he moaned, and his hips jerked. He seemed to like that, so she did it again, receiving a similar response.
His hand trapped hers, and she suspected he wanted to push her away. She clung a little more tightly to discourage him from attempting to make her do so. “I am not acting out of a befuddled state from my injury, Mr. Darcy. You say you have imagined me like this, so I must confess that I have imagined you in a similar way.”
Her cheeks flushed as she made the admission, and she couldn’t look at him for a moment. “I do not know exactly what the marriage act entails, but I have imagined lying with you and touching you. Let me say, my imagination could never compare to reality.”
He let out a strangled sound when she pumped firmly down the length of him. “I... You should not...wrong...” He groaned again when she pumped his length once more.
“Why is it wrong, Mr. Darcy? Fitzwilliam, I mean. We are already here, and we are as naked as the day we were born. What is the harm in exploring each other?”
“Exploration leads to other liberties, dear Elizabeth. If you continue to do that, there is certainly no way you will leave this bed with your maidenhead intact, and I would not take that from you.”
Lizzy grinned at that, squeezing him again. “I am confident there are certain things I can do that might change your mind about that, Fitzwilliam.” A wicked idea occurred to her, and she scooted a bit closer to whisper it. “Does one ever put their mouth around such a treasure?”
He cursed, his hand pulling hers away so forcefully it must have hurt him. “You cannot say such things.”
She bit her lip as she stared at him. If she thought he truly meant it, she would have ceased. She could see the desire and the longing in his expression though. He was merely trying to do the right thing. That would be a course of action Lizzy would normally endorse, but after nearly dying, and finding herself alone with the man whom she loved and had carried what she considered a hopeless love for all this time, she could not be sensible or act in a way befitting a lady.
“Do you intend to offer for me, Fitzwilliam? We are both compromised, but your reputation would certainly rebound much more flexibly than mine. If you do not intend to offer for me, then I shall withdraw and accept you no longer desire me. But if you still have some inkling of the feelings you had for me at Hunsford—”
She broke off when he suddenly grasped her arms and flipped her so that he was lying on top of her. His hands held hers pressed to the bed, though she did not feel confined. “I have far more than an inkling of those feelings, Lizzy. They have only intensified despite my efforts to stifle them upon learning you had no interest in my affection. Has that changed for you?”
Her eyes softened, and she nodded eagerly. “I have certainly changed. I was a foolish woman, throwing around my foolish opinions. It took great acts of chivalry and kindness on your part before I realized I had made a mistake in my assessment, and that I had let my own pride blind me to anything but your faults. I love you, Fitzwilliam, and I had hoped you loved me too after you went to such great lengths for my sister, but there was nothing between us. Silence remained, and you never came to visit me.”
He scowled. “When I came to Longbourn, you were in London. When I invented a pretext to call on the Gardiners again, you had returned to Longbourn just the day before. You seemed to be evading me, so I assumed your feelings remained unchanged.”
She gasped at the news. “Oh, but for poor timing! I was not evading you, Fitzwilliam. I did not know you were coming to Longbourn with Bingley, and I had already been dispatched to London. Aunt Gardiner was quite ill for several weeks, and she needed someone to help oversee the household and the children. It wasn’t the kind of task the governess could assume alone, as I’m sure you understand? I had no knowledge that you had continued any friendship with my uncle, so I had no idea you were coming to call on me, or I would have remained in London longer.”
Darcy let out a happy, lighthearted laugh. “I feel we have read too much into each other’s inactions, rather than being bold and approaching the situation. Since you have robustly admitted your love for me, I can do no less. I love you as madly and as deeply as I had before. Even more so, I fear. Trying to eradicate the emotions have only caused them to flourish and grow deeper. Of course, I shall offer for you. I would do so had we not been compromised, and I had every intention of visiting you after enjoying the hospitality of Netherfield this night. I did not expect you to be a guest there.”
Lizzy laughed as happiness bubbled within her. “I suspect dear Jane was attempting to facilitate our communication. She might be playing matchmaker, and I love her dearly for that.”
“And perhaps God is contributing his own level of matchmaking by brewing the storm that forced us together.” Darcy cupped her face in his hands as he brought her mouth to his. “I do love you, Lizzy, and I cannot resist you. If you wish to wait for our wedding night, I will do my best to rein in the impulse.”
She whimpered in protest.
“However, if you feel as strongly as I do in the moment, and the urge to join is overtaking you as it is me, I would gladly anticipate our wedding night. It is a compromise of your virtue and my honor, but it does not feel wrong.”
She wiggled experimentally, enjoying the way his cock jumped against the juncture of her thighs. “No, it does not feel wrong. Nay, I fear it would be a far greater wrong if we denied ourselves this opportunity.”
Still, he gazed deeply into her eyes before he let their mouths meet. “You trust my word that I will offer for you?”
She frowned at him. “I do trust you. You have not always behaved in a manner that I found pleasing, but I have never had cause to doubt your honor, Mr. Darcy.”
He scowled. “Except when Wickham fed you wicked half-truths mixed with deliberate lies. “
Lizzy flushed. “Yes, I admit I was a fool to trust him, and I did doubt your character, so allow me to rephrase. I do not believe you are lying to me, and I trust your character implicitly now. What false assumptions I had in the past have fallen away as I have seen the revelation of your true self. You are the man I love, and I have no reason to doubt you, and I am certain I never shall.”
“In that case, I shall not try to hold back my passions, except to keep from hurting you. I never thought this moment would come, sweet Lizzy, and I shall not turn it away now that it has.” His mouth touched hers, and the kiss slowly deepened, going from light and celebratory to intense and full of passion within moments.
He stopped sprinkling light kisses around her face and focused on her mouth, his tongue surging inside as he stoked the flames of her desire for him. Lizzy had never felt such a way before, except for the kisses they’d shared already, and she could not imagine ever losing such a feeling for Fitzwilliam.
Fingers on her chin gently urged her to tip up her head, and Lizzy did so. She opened her eyes to meet his as his lips approached hers. He didn’t kiss her. He waited with a quirked brow until she nodded and pressed closer to him, sealing his mouth with hers. Her tongue breached the inner confines of his mouth, raking over one of his teeth. A dull pain accompanied the motion, but she didn’t pay any mind to it. She was too immersed in her need to be close to Fitzwilliam.
She could not say what overcame her, but she pushed until he rolled onto his back so she could sit down on him, bending forward again to take his mouth. She’d never felt like this, so out of control and needful. There was an edge of wild impulsiveness in her movements, but she couldn’t summon enough civility to counter the animal lust.
Fitzwilliam hissed through his teeth when she lifted her mouth while she raked her nails down his chest. When she looked down, she saw light scratches scored in his skin. The sight pleased her as she scooted farther down his body, which was completely bare to her. The thought of tasting the shaft she’d been holding filled her with a mix of excitement and a little fear.
He caught his breath as her mouth moved to his abdomen, clearly anticipating her taking his shaft into her mouth. She did so hesitantly, ghosting her lips over him before wrapping them around his shaft and letting him slip inside her warm mouth. He was salty and a bit tangy, but not at all unpleasant.
“Stop, Lizzy.”
She whimpered in protest.
He put a hand on her head. “If you do not, I shall lose all control and spill in your mouth. I would rather be in your quim.”
That caught her attention enough to reluctantly remove him from her mouth, and she pulled back to sit up, straddling him. The chill in the air was difficult to ignore when she was thinking logically. She wrapped her arms around herself and shivered.
When Fitzwilliam reached for her, she succumbed to his gentle pressure and collapsed against his chest. The wild surge of lust was gone, but a quieter flame of desire remained. When she started kissing his chest, he tensed but didn’t push her away. She lifted her head again to look at him. “I do want this, but I do not want to tempt you beyond your control.”
His lips twitched. “I do appreciate that. Are you sure you are physically able to become lovers right now?”
“My head hurts, but my thoughts are clear.” She looked deep into his eyes. “I want this and you, Fitzwilliam.”
He gave her a tender smile. “Then have me, my love, and I shall do the same.”
With those words, his hand moved from her back to her face, and the other one joined it from the back of her head. Cupping her cheeks in his hands, he gently guided her lips to his, and this kiss was soothing, though no less satisfying in a different way.
Passion hummed quietly between them for a moment, burning brighter as he flipped her over, reversing their positions once more, and trailed his mouth down her neck. He paused for a moment at the bend of her neck and shoulder, where his teeth lightly grazed her skin. Lizzy held her breath before gasping when he suckled lightly for a long minute.
After tasting her neck and moving to her breasts for a leisurely exploration, his mouth resumed its path lower, and Lizzy held her breath as his lips settled over her quim. He breathed against her for a moment, making her twitch against him as pleasure washed over her in almost crippling waves.
That was even before his tongue slipped inside her, and he started licking and stroking her gently. Lizzy curled her hands together as she arched her hips against his face, losing herself in the skillful rhythm of his seductive tongue. It seemed like no time at all had passed before she came with a small cry, which she stifled by biting her own fist. There was no one to hear, but the instinct to hide her pleasure must be ingrained in her.
She was still convulsing, her sheath clutching at nothing, when he moved up her body.
He frowned down at her as he smoothed hair off her face. “This will hurt, but I believe it is better to deal with the pain quickly and move on to the pleasure. Bear with me, love.” He positioned himself at her quim before surging inside her in one deep thrust.
Lizzy shrieked at the pain, making no attempt to hide the noise. She could not think beyond the searing pain tearing her in half. She started to beat on his chest and demand he withdraw, but he captured her hands with his.
His gentle tone cut through her pain and panic. “Relax, love. Give your body a chance to adjust to me.”
As he continued speaking gently and shifting here and there, the pain gradually faded. When it was gone, she felt empty, though she was filled completely. She needed something...more. Restlessly, she arched against him before freezing. It hurt a bit, but not as much as the initial thrust. The next one she initiated was less painful, and the next even less.
Soon, all she felt was pleasure, even when he started moving in and out of her instead of leaving her to set the pace. He grunted and pushed against her, and she did her best to match his rhythm.
Faint traces of the mad passion she’d had before surged in her as Fitzwilliam started to come, pumping inside her rhythmically as he filled her with his release. It triggered another for her, and she clamped her thighs around his hips to hold him against her while she weathered her own climax.
Afterward, they laid together in silence for a long moment, neither speaking. Staring into his eyes was cathartic, and slowly, the need to sleep more crept over her again. Her last sight was his warm brown eyes before her lids closed as she surrendered to slumber.