PUTTING AN END TO THE BLAME GAME AND SAYING GOODBYE TO THE ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
If anyone is not willing to work, neither should he eat.
—2 THESSALONIANS 3:10 NET
There is nothing new under the sun! The teacher in the book of Ecclesiastes penned those words many centuries ago, and they ring true today. He wrote, “What has been is what will be, and what has been done is what will be done, and there is nothing new under the sun. Is there a thing of which it is said, ‘See, this is new’? It has been already in the ages before us” (Eccl. 1:9–10). Nations will rise and fall. Maps will be rewritten. New discoveries will be made. Technology will change. But human nature remains the same. There is nothing new under the sun!
The problems and challenges we face today, although packaged differently than in past centuries, are the same problems and challenges experienced by previous generations. We have the same fears, desires, lusts, loves, hopes, and dreams, whether we live in the twenty-first century A.D. or the twenty-first century B.C. This is another reason God’s Word is so amazingly relevant: Our Maker knows us better than we know ourselves, and the sins and shortcomings and weaknesses of our forefathers—going all the way back to the garden of Eden—are our sins and shortcomings and weaknesses today. In many ways, we are just like Adam and Eve.
Let’s go back, then, to the beginning, to an earthly paradise called the garden of Eden. We know the story all too well. Eve was deceived by the serpent, and she ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, giving the fruit to her husband, Adam, who also ate of it. This is what is known as the fall of man.
Immediately, Adam and Eve were conscious of their nakedness. Before that they had the innocence of little children and were unaware they were unclothed. Now they had to cover up. For the first time they also experienced guilt and fear. They hid from the presence of the Lord, whose commandments they had violated. They also learned how to make excuses and pass the buck. The narrative in Genesis 3 is remarkable:
Then the LORD God called to the man, “Where are you?”
He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”
“Who told you that you were naked?” the LORD God asked. “Have you eaten from the tree whose fruit I commanded you not to eat?”
The man replied, “It was the woman you gave me who gave me the fruit, and I ate it.”
Then the LORD God asked the woman, “What have you done?”
“The serpent deceived me,” she replied. “That’s why I ate it.” (vv. 9–13 NLT)
This sounds just like you and me: “Lord, it’s not my fault! Someone else is to blame!”
When God confronted Adam, the man in essence replied, “It’s not my fault! It was that woman that you gave me. She’s guilty. And for the record, I never asked you for a companion. That was all your idea. You’re the one who put her in the garden with me, so in reality, you’re the one responsible for what I did.”
When God confronted Eve, she replied, “It’s not my fault! The snake tricked me! And just for the record, although I’m not actually saying it out loud, you were the one who put that deceiver in the garden with me. Otherwise, I would never have thought of disobeying you. Not in a million years. So, if there’s anyone to blame, it’s you for putting that arch deceiver right in my own backyard.”
How did God respond? First he pronounced a curse on the snake, then on the woman, then on the man (Gen. 3:14–19). Everyone is responsible before the Lord, and excuses evaporate in his presence. The blame game doesn’t work before an all-seeing God. To paraphrase the old joke, you can’t kill your parents and then plead for leniency from the court because you’re an orphan. Not in God’s court!
The Lord calls us to take responsibility for our actions, refusing to entertain our facile excuses. This is something you find throughout the Gospels, where Jesus, who was so full of compassion and long-suffering and kindness and tenderness, showed no tolerance for excuses. He cut through them like a knife cuts through butter. He exposed them for what they were: empty words used to cover up a lack of willingness. That’s why, when Jesus was on the earth, he didn’t entrust himself to people, “because he knew all people and needed no one to bear witness about man, for he himself knew what was in man” (John 2:24–25).1 He also knew that there was nothing new under the sun when it came to the human race.
When, in response to Jesus’ command to “follow me,” a man said, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father,” Jesus replied, “Leave the dead to bury their own dead. But as for you, go and proclaim the kingdom of God” (Luke 9:59–60).
What? Jesus didn’t have the sensitivity to let this man bury his own father, something which was a sacred responsibility in Judaism? I thought Jesus was all about honoring one’s father and mother!
The fact is that Jesus was sensitive, and he was committed to honoring one’s parents (see especially Mark 7:1–13). But he saw through this man’s excuse, recognizing that the man was procrastinating—there are different theories on the potential background to this story—and that’s why he responded so strongly. “Let the dead bury their own dead! You’ve got better things to do as one of my followers.”
The account continues: “Yet another said, ‘I will follow you, Lord, but let me first say farewell to those at my home.’ Jesus said to him, ‘No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God’” (Luke 9:61–62).
Jesus might seem harsh and uncaring. He’s hardly like the Jesus we hear preached from our pulpits these days. The contemporary Jesus would never hurt anyone’s feelings like this. But that, of course, is one of the big differences between the real Jesus—the Jesus of the Scriptures who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8)—and the modern, fairy-tale version of Jesus.
Luke shows us how the Lord did not tolerate excuses, seeing right through this man’s seemingly fair request (after all, he might not return for days or weeks or months, so of course he should go home and say goodbye to his family). In the eyes of the Lord, this was nothing less than double-mindedness, and a double-minded man—someone with dual affections and dual devotions, someone with divided loyalties and divided interests—could never be a true disciple of Jesus. In reality, a person can serve only one master, and Jesus required his followers to choose.
It is absolutely true that we are saved by grace, not by works, and that eternal life is a gift. In a million years we could not earn the mercy or forgiveness of God. The Father loves us because of his goodness, and it was while we were still ungodly sinners, still rebels, still guilty, that Jesus died for us.2 All of us can shout out, “Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me!” This is something that Paul emphasized again and again in his writings as he gloried in the grace of God.
But Paul also made clear that with grace came responsibility, writing, “I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called” (Eph. 4:1, emphasis added). And, “Therefore I exhort you, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice—alive, holy, and pleasing to God—which is your reasonable service. Do not be conformed to this present world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may test and approve what is the will of God—what is good and well-pleasing and perfect” (Rom. 12:1–2 NET, emphasis added).
We who are saved have a sacred responsibility, and it requires the complete surrender of the entirety of our beings to the Lord. After all, he paid for all of our sins, not half of our sins, right? And we expect him to save us in full, not in part, correct? Then how much of us does he own? All of us! And what does he expect from us? Everything!
To quote Paul again,
For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. . . . For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. . . . For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised. (1 Cor. 6:20; Col. 3:3–5; 2 Cor. 5:14–15)
Paul also had no place for empty excuses, telling the believers in Rome that “each of us will give an account of himself to God” and explaining to the believers in Corinth that “we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil” (Rom. 14:12; 2 Cor. 5:10).
These are sobering words. As children of God, we will give account to our Father one day, not to determine if we are saved or lost but to determine our future reward.
This is something to think about: one day you will stand before Almighty God and give account for your life. Have you heard this preached lately? Fellow leaders and pastors, have you preached on this yourselves?
Take a few minutes and read some of the parables of Jesus that illustrate how we will give account to the Lord. You’ll find them in passages like Matthew 25. Our God will hold us responsible for our actions (and for our failures to act), as well as search out our motives. Will he say to us on that day, “Well done, my good and faithful servant. . . . Let’s celebrate together!” (Matt. 25:21 NLT)? Or will he first burn up our excuses with the fire of his all-seeing eyes (see 1 Cor. 3:10–15)?
It is true that he is for us, not against us; that he desires to bless, not curse; that there is no condemnation for those who are in Messiah Jesus; that Christ himself is our advocate, which means he is pleading our cause. All this is gloriously and wonderfully true, and so we submit to the Lord out of love rather than cower before him in servile fear. But we also have a healthy reverence for him, and because we are receiving an inheritance in his eternal and unshakable kingdom, we should “offer to God acceptable worship, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:28–29).
This also means that we take responsibility for our sins, which is something else we don’t hear about too often these days. As Christian apologist Jeremiah Johnson observed, instead of repentance we hear “a lot of talk about brokenness and negativity, as if Christ humbled Himself to the point of death to cure depression and fix bad attitudes. The modern church has largely done away with the biblical language of sin and salvation, replacing it with gooey postmodern verbiage that appeals to a generation raised on psychobabble and self-help seminars.”3
Johnson then quoted Pastor John MacArthur:
That kind of thinking has all but driven words like sin, repentance, contrition, atonement, restitution, and redemption out of public discourse. If no one is supposed to feel guilty, how could anyone be a sinner? Modern culture has the answer: people are victims. Victims are not responsible for what they do; they are casualties of what happens to them. So every human failing must be described in terms of how the perpetrator has been victimized. We are all supposed to be “sensitive” and “compassionate” enough to see that the very behaviors we used to label “sin” are actually evidence of victimization.
Victimization has gained so much influence that as far as society is concerned, there is practically no such thing as sin anymore. Anyone can escape responsibility for his or her wrongdoing simply by claiming the status of a victim. It has radically changed the way our society looks at human behavior.4
We’re not sinners anymore; we’re morally challenged. We don’t break God’s commandments; we have a disease.5 We’re not wicked; we’re weak. And above all, we’re not guilty, since guilt implies responsibility and God knows we are not responsible. Someone else is to blame!
The bottom line is this: If you want to grow spiritually, if you want to become mature, if you want to fulfill your God-given destiny, then adopt a no-excuses policy for your life. You alone are responsible for your success or failure, and the quicker you learn to embrace this way of thinking, the quicker you will make progress—real, discernible progress. No one will be able to stop you from living a productive, meaningful life, and every stumbling block will become a stepping-stone. His grace will empower you as you give yourself to him.
It’s true that people often hurt us and that circumstances are often against us, and many times we do suffer because of other people’s sins and negligence and misdeeds. But making excuses will make things worse, not better, while shifting the blame will not provide you with a single constructive solution. And as the popular saying goes, if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger—meaning that the more things are stacked against you, the more you can overcome. Look at these challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles, and soon you’ll be unstoppable.
But there’s one more step to take if you really want to swim against the tide of today’s society, and so I encourage you to embrace this attitude as well: nobody owes me anything, and I am not “entitled” to a wonderful life. Unfortunately, many Americans hold the exact opposite of this belief, and this crippling entitlement mentality dominates much of our nation today. It is the mind-set that says, “Society owes me a better life.”
Conservapedia.com defines the entitlement mentality as “a state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course.”6 In the words of Aletheia Luna, “A sense of entitlement is established and upheld by the belief that we are the center of the universe, and if the universe doesn’t meet our needs and desires, all hell will break loose.”7 According to Conservapedia. com, the entitlement mentality is characterized by:
• A lack of appreciation for the sacrifices of others. . . .
• Lack of personal responsibility. . . .
• An inability to accept that actions carry consequences. . . .
• Increased dependency on Nanny state big government intervention, and an expectation that the government will intervene to solve personal problems. Upon losing a job, for instance, someone with an entitlement mentality is likely to turn to the government for unemployment handouts rather than immediately seeking another job.
• Ignorance of the Bill of Rights. Those with an entitlement mentality frequently imagine so-called rights that are in no way guaranteed—for instance, the “right to employment,” or the “right to not be offended” or the “right to healthcare.” Moreover, they misinterpret the Declaration of Independence’s affirmation of their right to pursue happiness as a Constitutional guarantee of happiness.
• Support for wholesale expansion of Welfare state social programs as a cure-all for perceived “injustice.”8
Now, if we go back to the garden, back to Adam and Eve, we can see that the entitlement mentality is the flip side of the blame-shifting mentality. Blame-shifting says, “I’m not responsible for my failure; someone else is,” while entitlement says, “I’m not responsible for improving my situation; someone else is.” Either way, someone else is to blame for my current situation, and if I don’t find myself where I want to be today, it’s someone else’s fault.
This dangerous attitude is crippling a whole generation, but once again, this attitude is nothing new. It is just greatly on the rise in our day. As expressed by Kate S. Rourke, “Children in the most recent generation of adults born between 1982 and 1995, known as ‘Generation Y,’ were raised to believe that it is their right to have everything given to them more than any other previous generation.”9 This mind-set has been here before; it has just become much worse.
Two thousand years ago Paul had to deal with believers in Thessalonica who had become dependent and irresponsible, so he wrote to them, reminding them of the way he and his team conducted themselves when they were together: “For you yourselves know how you ought to imitate us, because we were not idle when we were with you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with toil and labor we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you. It was not because we do not have that right, but to give you in ourselves an example to imitate” (2 Thess. 3:7–9).
Even though Paul was an apostle and had every right to be supported by his congregations, he didn’t take this support, wanting to set an example of hard work and independence. But Paul not only reminded the Thessalonians of his own example. He also reminded them of what he taught when he was with them. “For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat” (v. 10, emphasis added). I would say that sums things up!
If you’re not willing to work, then don’t eat. The choice is entirely yours. (Obviously, there was work to be found in Thessalonica.) Paul then concluded, “For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living” (v. 11–12). Did I say already that no one is entitled to a free lunch?
Once again, God’s Word has a major word of correction and redirection for America. The entitlement mentality is destroying our culture and hurting a whole generation. The Bible’s directive to take full responsibility for our lives and quit making excuses is just what we need.
Paul also had some practical words for the believers in Ephesus, writing, “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need” (Eph. 4:28). The thief not only had to stop stealing, which is the ultimate expression of entitlement, since it says, “I want what you worked so hard for, so I will simply take it;” the thief also had to learn to do useful, honest work. And since the thief was now a follower of Jesus, he wasn’t only working to make a living. He was working to have extra money to help those in need. This is the complete crucifixion of the entitlement mentality. Others are not responsible for me; I’m responsible for others.
I believe that the entitlement mentality has one of the greatest strongholds on our society today. It undercuts initiative, encourages apathy, and discourages visionary sacrifice. Worst of all, it is so deeply embedded that we’re not even conscious of it, making it harder to resist and overcome. But resist it and overcome it we must. Otherwise, we’ll be stuck on a merry-go-round of blame-shifting and victimhood, getting angry, pointing our fingers, making accusations, and going nowhere.
To repeat: It’s high time we embrace the mentality of “No excuses! I’m responsible for myself.” This is the first step to progress and success.
Jesus gives us three practical principles in Luke 16:
1. “One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much” (v. 10). You will not be trusted with much until you prove yourself trustworthy with very little. In my early days of radio broadcasting when I was on a few smaller stations, I said to the Lord, “If you will give me a million listeners a day, I’ll make this the best radio show possible.” No sooner did I say the words than I knew what his answer would be: “Make this the best show possible, and I’ll give you a million listeners.”
2. If you’re not faithful with money (what Jesus calls “the unrighteous wealth”), you won’t be faithful with true riches (v. 11). Many of us want to be spiritual heroes, but our earthly lives are a wreck due to our own irresponsibility, particularly when it comes to handling money. Of course, God doesn’t expect all of us to be financial wizards, but he does require us to be good financial stewards, and that means paying our bills on time, being generous, and being wise. (For some biblical guidelines on finances, see chapter 11.) Don’t expect the Lord to give you a massive, world-changing ministry if you fail to pay your electric bill because of bad spending habits.
3. “And if you have not been faithful in that which is another’s, who will give you that which is your own?” (v. 12). The principle again is simple: If you are irresponsible with things that don’t belong to you, caring for them as if they were your own, then you’ll never be entrusted with things that are your own. If you don’t take care of your parents’ car when they loan it to you, you’re not ready for a car of your own. If you won’t serve faithfully in someone else’s company (or church), you’re not ready for a company (or church) of your own.
In sum, the bigger the stakes, the more our good habits (and bad habits) will be magnified. So, faithful with little, faithful with much; faithful with earthly riches, faithful with spiritual riches; faithful with that which belongs to someone else, faithful with that which belongs to you.
None of this is rocket science, but once again, that’s what is so wonderful about God’s Word. It is as practical as it is profound and as pragmatic as it is penetrating. The Word of God is wise, and we do well to live by the wisdom of the Word. And the Word of God destroys the entitlement mentality, giving us something far better in its place. Just think of what would happen if every American said, “Nobody owes me anything, and I am responsible for my own actions. If I want my life (or my family’s life) to change, with God’s help, it can change.”
You might say, “Every American? Now that’s a tall order.”
I agree! So how about starting with you and me? I’m all in. Are you?
Dr. John Townsend wrote,
There is a solution to entitlement, which I call the Hard Way. The Hard Way is the entitlement cure. It is a path of behaviors and attitudes that undo the negative effects of entitlement, whether in ourselves or in others.
This was his definition of the Hard Way: “The habit of doing what is best, rather than what is comfortable, to achieve a worthwhile outcome.”10
It is the hard way that pays long-term dividends, the hard way that produces long-term fruit, the hard way that yields long-term gratification. So quit passing the buck and shirking responsibility; don’t blame others for where you find yourself today; and determine, with God’s help, to be a giver not a taker, a producer not a drainer, one who lifts others up rather than drags them down. To quote Paul once again, “Do everything without complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean, innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full of crooked and perverse people” (Phil. 2:14–15 NLT).
That’s our calling, that’s who we are, and that’s who our nation needs us to be. So, let’s wake up from our slumber. It’s literally time to rise and shine.