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HOTELS AND HOVELS

You’re asleep in your hotel room when you’re suddenly jolted from slumber by the sound of a family of 12 rolling their squeaky-wheeled luggage past your door. They burst into the room next door, the kids slamming doors and drawers, jumping on the bed, blasting the television, and tossing a tennis ball against the paper-thin walls. Eventually, Dad yells for the kids to pipe down and Mom tells them to get in bed, which provokes screaming and crying. When everything finally quiets down, you become painfully aware of the drip-drip-drip of the bathroom sink. Do you reach for the dental floss?

How to Seal the Curtains Shut with Clothes Hangers

WHAT YOU NEED

• 3 clothes hangers from your hotel room closet

WHAT TO DO

1. Close the curtains.

2. Hold the ends of the curtains together so they overlap.

3. Clip the clips from the first hanger in place over the curtains to hold them closed.

4. Repeat with a second and third hanger, making sure the curtains are securely shut.

HOW IT WORKS

Although they’re attached to the hangers, the clips work to hold the curtains shut, and the weight of the hangers is not enough to pull the clips down from the curtains.

EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK

It’s Curtains for You

You can hold curtains together with these clips:

• Binder Clips. If you’re traveling on a business trip with documents held together with binder clips, those small metallic clasps work beautifully to hold hotel room curtains shut.
• Claw Hair Clips. While not as effective as other clips, these talon-like clips work magic in a pinch.
• Paper Clips. As long as the air-conditioning unit doesn’t blow a powerful breeze up under the closed curtains, paper clips may work wonders to keep those curtains sealed tight.
• Potato Chip Bag Clips. These long, strong plastic clips firmly grip the curtains together and keep them closed.
• Snap-in Hair Clips. These slender clips are sturdy enough to hold the two sides of the curtains together, depending on the thickness of the fabric.

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

Rules of the Road

• Always keep the Do Not Disturb sign on the outside doorknob of your hotel room, even when you’re out of the room. This prevents housekeeping from entering your room.
• Always wear flip-flops in the shower to avoid getting athlete’s foot or plantar warts.
• Use sanitizer wipes to clean the phone and television remote control, the places most apt to house germs.
• Place a hand towel on the bathroom counter to lay out your toiletry items (or keep them in your toiletry kit).

  

• When you’re in your room, keep the door locked, including the security locks.
• Never open your door without using the peephole first to verify the person’s identity.
• If you find yourself in the middle of a catastrophe, fill the bathtub with water, and then go to the hotel bar and buy all the bottles of liquor. The filled bathtub becomes your emergency water supply, and you can use the alcohol as an anesthetic, an antiseptic, fuel to start a fire, or—should the economy completely collapse—the new currency.

How to Hide Money in a Toilet Paper Holder

WHAT YOU NEED

• Toilet paper holder in your hotel room

WHAT TO DO

1. Remove the toilet paper from the holder.

2. Take the holder apart.

3. Roll up your money tightly.

4. Slip the money roll inside the spring.

5. Place the spring back inside the toilet paper holder, and reassemble the two parts.

6. Place the toilet paper back on the holder.

HOW IT WORKS

The toilet paper holder conceals the money contained within, and despite being filled with a roll of currency, the roll of toilet paper continues to function properly when used.

LET’S ROLL

If the toilet paper dispenser in the bathroom holds a second roll of toilet paper in a compartment behind the first “active” roll, remove the first roll from the holder, shove your money inside the hollow tube of the second roll, and replace the first roll on the holder.

EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK

More Great Places to Hide Your Money in a Hotel Room

Where can you hide your money at home or when you’re on the go?

• Curtain Rods. Remove the decorative finial from one end of a curtain rod, roll up the bills, and insert them into the hollow rod. Then replace the decorative finial.

  

• Drop-Ceiling Tiles. Slide open a ceiling tile in a drop ceiling, place a small bag or box of money or valuables atop the tile, and place the ceiling tile back in position.
• Ironing Board. Remove the ironing board from the closet, pull back the fabric cover from the ironing board, and place several bills flat between the metal ironing board top and the fabric cover. Replace the cover and put the ironing board back in the closet.
• Night Table. Lift up the night table an inch from the ground, and slide your money underneath.

  

• Tissue Box. Remove the faceplate from a tissue box mounted in the side of a bathroom countertop, place your money behind the tissue box, and replace the faceplate.

  

• Towels. If housekeeping keeps the hand towels folded with a fancy pocket, hide your money in the pocket behind the fanned washcloth.

  

How to Defog a Bathroom Mirror with Shaving Cream

WHAT YOU NEED

• Shaving cream
• Washcloth

WHAT TO DO

1. Fill your palm with a handful of shaving cream.

2. Rub the shaving cream on the mirror over the sink where you normally look when brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, applying makeup, or shaving.

3. Using the washcloth, wipe the shaving cream off the mirror.

HOW IT WORKS

The thin coat of shaving cream emollients left on the mirror prevents the steam created by the shower from fogging up the glass. The effect can last up to three weeks.

MIRROR, MIRROR ON THE WALL

• Don’t have shaving cream? Apply a few drops of shampoo on the mirror with a washcloth, and then wipe clean with a hand towel.
• You can also dry steam from a fogged-up bathroom mirror in a hotel room by using the provided blow dryer to blow hot air at the mirror. The hot air helps the steam evaporate from the mirror.

FOR YOUR EYES ONLY

Step into a steamy bathroom while wearing your eyeglasses, and they’re sure to get fogged up. The solution?

• Deodorant. Spraying both sides of the eyeglass lenses with deodorant and then wiping them clean prevents the lenses from fogging up.
• Shampoo. Rub a small drop of shampoo on both sides of the eyeglass lenses, and then wipe them clean. The thin film of soap left behind prevents the lenses from fogging up—just like the mirror.
• Shaving Cream. Keep eyeglasses from fogging up by rubbing a small dab of shaving cream over both sides of the eyeglass lenses and then wiping them clean. The residual film of condensed soap prevents the lenses from fogging up—again, just like the mirror.
• Toothpaste. To prevent a pair of eyeglasses from fogging up, wipe both sides of the lenses clean with a dab of regular toothpaste. Scuba divers commonly use toothpaste to prevent their swim mask from fogging up underwater. Use only regular toothpaste on eyeglasses. Tartar control or whitening toothpastes can damage plastic.

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

How to Get a Free Hotel Room Upgrade

• Just Ask—Politely and Discreetly. Be nice to the people at the front desk and ask if there’s any possibility for a better room. The underappreciated people at the front desk hold the power to give you something more. Do not ask within earshot of other guests. Otherwise, the person at the front desk will say no solely to prevent a chain reaction.
• Announce a Special Occasion. If you’re celebrating a birthday, anniversary, graduation, or other special event, let the front desk know and ask if there’s anything special they can do to help enhance the occasion.
• Enroll in the Hotel’s Loyalty Program. Being a member shows that you’re a frequent guest and will make the front desk clerk more inclined to upgrade you to a better room.
• Check in Late. The later you check into the hotel, the better the front desk will know which rooms are available that night.
• Contact a New Hotel. A newly opened hotel, eager to attract new guests, may be more willing to offer upgrades to foster loyalty and generate good word-of-mouth publicity.
• Book a Mid-Range Room. If you’re willing to pay for a room a notch above the basic accommodation, the front desk is more apt to upgrade you to a higher level.

How to Soundproof Your Hotel Room with a Bath Towel

WHAT YOU NEED

• Bath towel

WHAT TO DO

1. Spread the towel on the floor or bed.

2. Roll up the towel lengthwise.

3. Place the towel roll on the floor against the base of the door to cover up the space created between the bottom of the door and the floor.

4. Whenever you leave the room and return again, place the towel back in position.

HOW IT WORKS

The space created between the bottom of the door and floor allows sound waves outside the room to travel into your room. Placing the thick roll against the space blocks the sound waves.

SLEEP TIGHT

Want to get a good night’s sleep in a hotel room?

• Do Your Homework. Before making a reservation at a hotel, make sure the hotel is not being renovated and that no construction projects are underway within earshot.
• Make Reservations at a Soundproof or Noise-Sensitive Hotel. Some hotels have been designed with special flooring to reduce and deaden sound. Others designate certain floors as quiet zones, forbidding children and social groups, and providing guests with nightlights, blackout curtains, drape clips, sleep CDs, eye masks, earplugs, and sleep-inducing aromatic sprays.
• Consider Airport Hotels. Upscale hotels near airports are generally built with super soundproofing to mute the roar of jet engines.
• Bring Earplugs. You can always sandwich your head between two pillows, but earplugs reduce noise by around 33 decibels—far more than a pillow.
• Request a Quiet Room When You Check In. Ask for a room on an upper floor, facing away from the street, without a door to an adjoining room, and away from the elevators, vending machines, ice machines, a wedding party, conventioneers, or a roomful of fraternity brothers. When you go up to the room, make sure it suits your needs before settling in. If it doesn’t, go back downstairs to reception and ask for another room.
• Quell Noisy Neighbors. If slamming doors, loud televisions, screaming, and pounding noises come through the walls or ceiling, do not confront the neighbors on your own (possibly exacerbating the situation or risking harm to yourself). Instead, call the front desk and ask them to handle the matter. The front desk will send security to make the offenders pipe down or risk being expelled from the hotel.
• Call Maintenance. If you hear the toilet running, the shower dripping, or the air conditioner clanking, call the front desk to send maintenance to fix it.
• Ask for Another Room. If the noise is beyond control, insist upon being changed to another room.
• Turn Off or Reset the Alarm Clock. Make sure the previous hotel room guest did not set the bedside alarm clock for 4:00 am.
• Place the Do Not Disturb Sign Outside the Door. It may sound obvious, but unless you put the Do Not Disturb sign on your door, housekeepers will inevitably knock on your door in the morning when you’re still sleeping.

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

How to Get a Cheap Price on a Hotel Room

Here are some strategies for getting the best hotel rates whenever you travel:

• Be Flexible with Dates. Room rates can vary widely based on the days of week and time of year. Hotels catering to business travelers tend to offer discounted weekend rates, while vacation properties offer discounted midweek prices.
• Avoid Tourist Season. Plan your trip for a time of year when demand for rooms is low and supply is high.
• Shop Around Online. Compare the prices on websites like Hotels. com, Expedia, Orbitz, Travelocity, and Kayak to find the lowest rate, and then telephone the hotel directly to match the price.
• Name Your Price. If you’re willing to book a hotel based on a general location and quality, bid for a hotel room on Priceline or Hotwire.
• Ask for a Lower Rate. Call up the hotel directly and ask for any promotions, packages, or special rates for AAA members, seniors, frequent flyers, or whatever groups you may belong to.
• Cash In on Last-Minute Specials. If you book your trip at the last minute during an off-season, the hotel managers may lower the price to fill empty rooms.
• Book a Package Deal. Booking your flight and hotel together as a package deal may save money.
• Investigate Alternative Accommodations. Consider bed-and-breakfasts or vacation rentals, which can be found on Airbnb.com and VRBO.com. Or try hostels at hihostels.com and hostels.com.
• Consider Hidden Fees. Don’t be swayed by a low base rate without adding in the taxes, fees, and parking costs.
• Use Coupon and Voucher Books. Search the Internet for coupons for specific hotels, or use a discount coupon, and take advantage of an Entertainment Book membership (see Entertainment.com).
• Use Loyalty Points. You can use points accumulated with a hotel’s loyalty program or a frequent flyer account to pay for a hotel room (or an upgrade).
• Follow Up. After you book a hotel reservation, call back or check online a few weeks later to check whether rates have dropped. If so, cancel your original reservation (provided you need not pay any penalties) and rebook at the lower rate.

How to Cook Hot Dogs in a Coffeemaker

WHAT YOU NEED

• Coffeemaker
• Water
• Knife
• Package of hot dogs
• Fork

WHAT TO DO

1. Fill the reservoir in the coffee-maker with water.

2. Using the knife, carefully cut the hot dogs in half to fit in the carafe, if necessary.

3. Place the hot dogs inside the glass carafe.

4. Turn on the coffeemaker. (Do not place a coffee filter or any coffee in the machine.)

5. After the water fills the carafe, let the hot dogs heat in the water for 45 minutes.

6. Using a fork, carefully fish the hot dogs from the hot water in the carafe.

HOW IT WORKS

The water, heated to roughly 205° Fahrenheit, begins cooking the hot dogs, and the hot plate, designed to keep the coffee warm, finishes the job.

HOT DOG!

If you don’t have a coffeemaker, here are several other creative ways to cook a hot dog:

• Electrocution. Use wire cutters to carefully cut the cord from an unplugged lamp, separate the two wires for 6 inches, and strip ¾ inch of plastic coating off the end of each of the two wires. Wrap the exposed end of one wire around the end of one fork. Wrap the exposed end of the second wire around the end of a second fork. Insert each fork into an opposite end of the hot dog. Dangle the cord over the bottom bar of a wooden coat hanger, and hang the prepared hanger so that neither the hot dog nor the wired forks touch anything or anyone. Place a towel under the hot dog to absorb any drips. Plug the cord into an outlet. The 110 watts of electricity will cook the hot dog in 1 to 2 minutes. Unplug the extension cord from the outlet and allow the forks to cool to the touch. To avoid electrocuting yourself, never touch the forks or the hot dog until the cord is fully unplugged.
• Frying. Lay a coat hanger across the mouth of a wastebasket, then carefully set a clothes iron on the hanger, handle side down, to create a stable, level ironing surface. Set the iron on “heat” with the steam setting turned off. Using a toothbrush or pocket comb as a spatula, fry the hot dog.
• Grilling. Straighten a wire clothes hanger to create a long metal skewer, insert the end through the hot dog lengthwise, and grill the frankfurter over a wood fire in a fireplace, rotating it slowly.
• Solar Cooking. Line the inside of a parabolic bowl (such as a colander) with aluminum foil (shiny side out). Suspend the hot dog on a skewer in the center of the bowl, and set outside in the sunshine for 60 to 90 minutes.

How to Use a Bathtub as a Washing Machine

WHAT YOU NEED

• Bathtub
• Drain Plug
• Water
• Shampoo (or laundry detergent)
• Wooden clothes hanger (optional)
• Bar of soap (optional)
• Hairbrush (optional)

WHAT TO DO

1. Plug the bathtub, and begin filling it with enough water (warm for separated colors, cold for mixed colors) to submerge the laundry load.

2. While the water is running, add 1 or 2 tablespoons of shampoo (depending on the amount of clothes) to the water or the appropriate amount of detergent based on instructions on the box.

3. With your hands, swish the water in the tub to create suds.

4. Submerge the laundry in the soapy water in the bathtub.

5. Let the laundry soak for 10 minutes.

6. Swirl with your hands (or a wooden clothes hanger) and knead the garments in the water for 5 minutes. Or step barefoot into the tub and walk over the clothes. For tough stains, rub the affected area with a bar of soap. If necessary, scrub stains with a hairbrush.

7. Drain the water from the bathtub and wring out the clothes, allowing the soapy water to empty down the drain.

8. Turn on the faucet and individually rinse each item of clothing under the running water, wringing out any soapy water. Toss each rinsed garment to the back end of the bathtub.

9. Plug the drain and fill the tub with enough cool water to submerge the clothes.

10. Using your hands (or a wooden clothes hanger), swirl the clothes in the water and wring out any lingering soap.

11. Drain the soapy water from the bathtub, allowing it to empty down the drain.

12. Turn on the faucet and individually rinse each item of clothing under the running water one last time, wringing out any residual soapy water.

13. Hang the wet clothes over the shower curtain rod, a retractable indoor clothesline installed in the bathtub stall, a clothesline fashioned from a piece of rope, or outside draped over a patio railing or patio chairs.

HOW IT WORKS

Agitating the dirty clothes in soapy water duplicates the action of a washing machine, and rinsing the soapy water from the garments with clean water mimics the rinse cycle. Depending on the temperature, humidity, and how well you wring the water from the clothes, the garments will be fully dry in anywhere from a few hours to two days.

ALL WASHED UP

• You can also use a clean, unused plunger to mimic the action of the agitator of a washing machine.
• To remove as much water as possible from the garment to speed drying time, lay a bath towel on a flat surface, lay the wet garment on top of the towel, and roll up the towel with the garment inside it. Walk along the rolled-up towel on your knees. Then unroll the garment and hang it (and the towel) up to dry. The towel absorbs excess water from the garment.
• Running the exhaust fan in the bathroom hastens drying time (but wastes electricity).

How to Silence a Dripping Sink with Dental Floss

WHAT YOU NEED

• Dental floss (or a shoelace)

WHAT TO DO

1. Cut off a piece of dental floss long enough to reach from the end of the spout to the drain in the sink.

2. Tie one end of the dental floss around the end of the spout.

3. Place the free end of the dental floss so it touches the bottom of the sink.

4. Position the knot under the aerator at the tip of the faucet so that the dripping water flows down the string to the bottom of the sink.

HOW IT WORKS

The drips of water slide down the dental floss and then run off into the drain—silently. Water has both cohesive and adhesive properties, meaning it sticks to itself (cohesion) and other items, like string (adhesion).

NO STRINGS ATTACHED

• A sponge placed under a leaky faucet will silently catch the drips as well.
• In Robert Pirsig’s novel Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, the narrator shares his friend John’s philosophy on a dripping faucet: “If you try to fix a faucet and your fixing doesn’t work, then it’s just your lot to live with a dripping faucet.” The narrator soon discovers that John’s wife “was suppressing anger at that faucet and that goddamned dripping faucet was just about killing her!”
• In the 1965 horror film Repulsion, directed by Roman Polanski, Carol (Catherine Deneuve) hallucinates the disproportionately loud sounds of a dripping faucet.
• In the Twilight Zone episode “Sounds and Silences” (season 5, episode 27), Roswell Flemington (John McGiver) wakes up to the sound of a dripping bathroom faucet, but to him, each drop sounds like a gunshot.

How to Improvise a Bathtub Stopper with a Tennis Ball

WHAT YOU NEED

• Tennis ball
• Bathtub (or sink)
• Water

WHAT TO DO

1. Place the tennis ball in the drain, and hold it in place to form a tight seal.

2. Begin filling the bathtub with water.

3. Once the water level covers the tennis ball, release the ball.

4. Continue filling the bathtub with water to the desired level.

HOW IT WORKS

The water pressure and the resulting suction from the drain hold the beveled edge of the tennis ball securely in the drain, despite the fact that the rubber ball is buoyant enough to float.

DOWN THE DRAIN

• If you don’t have a tennis ball, saturate five sheets of paper towel with water, wring out the excess, bunch the towels into a ziplock bag, and seal it shut. Wedge the bag into the drain.
• Place a circular plastic lid from a margarine container or plastic kitchen container over the drain, and the water pressure will hold the lid in place.
• If you’ve lost the stopper for the drain in the bathtub or sink, fill a ziplock freezer bag with water, seal it shut, and place it over the drain hole. The suction from the drain will hold the plastic bag in place, corking the drain.
• An unused Keurig cup fits in most drains and makes an excellent substitute for a drain stopper that can be easily removed.

How to Hide Valuables in a Comfy Chair

WHAT YOU NEED

• Valuables
• A comfy chair

WHAT TO DO

1. Remove the seat cushion from the comfy chair.

2. Locate the zipper in the back of the cushion and slide it open.

3. Place your valuables or money inside the cushion and zip it closed again.

4. Place the seat cushion back in position in the comfy chair.

HOW IT WORKS

The zippered chair cushion provides a concealed cavity for hiding money or other valuables.

PULL UP A CHAIR

In her book You Only Die Once, author Margie Jenkins writes that when her father’s uncle died, her parents searched his home and found large quantities of cash “under the mattress, tucked into books, inside chair cushion covers, among bed linens in the closet, behind canned food on pantry shelves, and in a jelly jar in the refrigerator.”

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

How to Book a Room in a Sold-Out Hotel

Want a room at a fully booked hotel? You just need to understand the hotel’s policies, exert a bit of effort, and refuse to take no for an answer.

• Be Polite. Hotel managers and reservation clerks will be more inclined to help you if you treat them respectfully and with kindness.
• Use the Cancellation Policy to Your Advantage. Find out what time the hotel’s cancellation penalties take effect for the date you wish to check in (usually 24 hours in advance), and call the hotel just after that time to grab a room made available by a cancellation.
• Go Through an Online Reservation Website. Many hotels sell blocks of rooms to online websites like Travelocity.com and Expedia.com, and then list them as booked. The hotel may appear fully booked through the hotel, but rooms may still be available through the ancillary website.
• Telephone the Hotel Directly. The national 800 number for a hotel may have a limit on the number of rooms they book. The front desk at an individual hotel in the chain may have more rooms set aside.
• Ask the Front Desk at the Hotel to Put Your Name on a Waiting List for Rooms. Hotels frequently get last-minute cancellations, and people on the waiting list get offered these last-minute rooms. Be sure to check back with the hotel persistently to see if any rooms have become available.
• Make a Backup Plan. If you can’t get into your first choice, be sure you have a reservation at another hotel so you don’t end up sleeping in your car.

How to Cook a Grilled Cheese Sandwich with an Iron

WHAT YOU NEED

• Clothes iron
• 2 slices of American cheese
• 2 slices of bread
• Aluminum foil

WHAT TO DO

1. Preheat the iron to the wool setting with the steam setting turned off.

2. Place two slices of American cheese between two slices of bread and wrap the sandwich in a sheet of aluminum foil.

3. Place the wrapped sandwich on a wooden cutting board or ironing board.

4. Place the hot iron on the top of the wrapped sandwich for 20 seconds.

5. Flip over the wrapped sandwich and place the hot iron on top of the other side for 20 seconds.

6. Carefully unwrap the grilled cheese sandwich and enjoy.

HOW IT WORKS

The soleplate of the iron doubles as a cooking grill, heating to 300° F on the wool setting, just the right amount of heat to toast the bread and melt the cheese.

IRON TEMPERATURES

The adjustable dial on irons to indicate the multiple temperature control settings for different types of fabric can be used to adjust the temperature for cooking. While irons made by different manufacturers tend to differ slightly in temperature, here are the approximate temperatures of common fabric settings.

• Linen: 445° F
• Cotton: 400° F
• Wool: 300° F
• Polyester: 300° F
• Silk: 300° F
• Acrylic: 275° F
• Nylon: 275° F

OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

How to Save Money at Restaurants

• Don’t Order Drinks. Restaurants give the price of alcoholic beverages and soft drinks the highest markups, and the beverages you order could easily wind up costing more than your meal. Ask for a glass of water with a twist of lemon or lime. If you must have a cocktail or a glass of wine, do so at home before going out—making sure you have a designated driver. And instead of ordering coffee after the meal, brew a pot when you get home.
• Visit Restaurants for Lunch Rather Than Dinner. Items on the lunch menu are less expensive than those same items on the dinner menu.
• Order an Appetizer Rather Than an Entrée. If you’re not hungry, order a low-cost appetizer from the menu as your main course, and be sure to ask the waiter for a basket of complimentary fresh bread, salad, or chips and salsa.
• Share a Main Dish. You can save 50 percent off the price of dinner at nearly any restaurant by simply sharing your meal with your dining companion. Just ask the waiter to bring an extra plate and some extra bread. Some restaurants charge a small fee for sharing a meal, but most don’t mind since their portions tend to be so big. Be sure to tip well.
• Catch the Early Bird Special. Many restaurants—particularly in Florida near retirement communities—offer discounted dinner meals between 4:00 pm and 6:00 pm.
• Clip Two-for-One Coupons. Check the local Sunday newspaper, local area magazines in hotel racks for tourists, the yellow pages, restaurant websites, or www.valpak.com, www.moneymailer.com, or www.wow-coupons.com for coupons from restaurants offering discounts like two meals for the price of one (usually for up to four people).
• “What’s Today’s Special?” Before ordering from the menu, ask the waiter about any specials for the day that aren’t listed on the menu. Most restaurants have regular daily specials, with the best deals running Monday through Thursday (rarely on weekends).
• Snack Before You Dine. Before going out to a restaurant, eat a light snack, like a piece of fruit, to make sure you’re not famished. If you go to a restaurant on an empty stomach, your eyes will be larger than your stomach and you’ll be more likely to order the most expensive item on the menu.

How to Shine Your Shoes with Lip Balm and a Coffee Filter

WHAT YOU NEED

• Lip balm
• Coffee filter (or maxi pad)

WHAT TO DO

1. Rub the lip balm on the shoes.

2. Buff with a coffee filter.

HOW IT WORKS

The carnauba wax, mineral oil, wax paraffin, and white wax in the lip balm work to revitalize the leather. The coffee filter, made from 100 percent virgin paper, buffs the wax without leaving behind any lint.

EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK

If the Shoe Fits

You can also shine shoes with:

• Body Lotion. Apply a dab of body lotion to your shoes, rub with a soft cloth, and buff to a shine.
• Furniture Polish. Spray a bit of furniture polish on the shoes and buff with a coffee filter or maxi pad. The oils in the furniture polish clean and shine leather shoes.
• Hair Gel. Applying a dab of hair gel to the leather will give the shoes a reasonable shine. Rub with a soft cloth and buff.
• Olive Oil. Put a few drops of olive oil on a soft cloth and buff.
• Stick Deodorant. Apply stick deodorant to the leather, rub with a soft cloth, and buff.

How to Exfoliate Your Face and Legs with Sugar Packets

WHAT YOU NEED

• 3 sugar packets

WHAT TO DO

1. After shaving or washing your face, empty a packet of sugar into your cupped palm.

2. Add a few drops of water to the sugar and, using your fingers, mix a thick paste.

3. Using your fingertips, apply the paste to your wet skin, and massage lightly, drawing circles with your fingertips over your face, applying pressure appropriately, without scrubbing.

4. Rinse your face clean with water.

5. To exfoliate your legs, wet your legs.

6. Empty two or three packets of sugar into your cupped palm, and rub the sugar onto the tops of your legs with a circular motion, working gradually toward the bottom of your legs.

7. Rinse clean with water.

HOW IT WORKS

The sugar granules slough off the top layers of dead skin, leaving the skin with a healthy glow.

JUST A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR

• Sugar is a natural humectant, drawing moisture from the environment into the skin. In other words, when you apply sugar to the skin, it helps hydrate it.
• Sugar contains glycolic acid and alpha-hydroxy acids, which help remove the top layer of skin cells without scrubbing.
• Exfoliating the skin cells generates fresher, younger-looking skin.
• Sugar granules are more rounded than salt crystals, making them gentler and more suitable for sensitive skin. Salt scrubs can cause microscopic tears in the skin and strip the skin of natural oils.
• Brown sugar is softer than granulated sugar and better for use on the face. Raw sugar is more coarse than granulated, making it better for use on the body.

How to Dry Wet Shoes or Boots with Newspaper

WHAT YOU NEED

• Newspaper

WHAT TO DO

1. Drain as much water as possible from the shoes or boots.

2. Remove the insoles, if possible, and let them dry separately.

3. Crumple up individual sheets of newspaper and shove them inside the shoes or boots.

4. Continue shoving balls of crumpled newspaper into the shoes or boots until they are full of newspaper.

5. Let the footwear stand upside down overnight in a warm, dry area. If possible change the newspaper every hour.

6. Remove the crumpled-up sheets of newsprint and discard.

7. Repeat if necessary.

HOW IT WORKS

The newsprint absorbs the excess moisture from inside the shoes or boots.

YOU BET YOUR BOOTS

• Footwear dries faster when placed upside down.
• Another way to quickly dry shoes or boots: place them (with the insoles removed and the tongue propped open) in front of a fan in a room-temperature environment.
• Rice also absorbs moisture. Fill your footwear with uncooked rice, let it sit overnight, and then discard the rice. Or cut off the legs of a pair of clean, used panty hose, fill each foot with rice, tie a knot in the open end, and place one foot inside each shoe or boot overnight.
• Do not place wet footwear near a heat source, such as a fireplace, heater, campfire, radiator, or sunny windowsill. High heat can damage shoes and boots, weaken the adhesives, and harden the material, particularly leather.
• Do not allow wet shoes or boots to remain wet for a long period of time. Otherwise, mold will begin to grow inside them.

How to Clean Sneakers with Toothpaste

WHAT YOU NEED

• Toothpaste
• Sponge (or clean, used toothbrush)
• Glass of water
• Washcloth

WHAT TO DO

1. Squirt a small dab of toothpaste onto a sponge, and rub the toothpaste into the sneaker.

2. Dip the sponge into the glass of water and continue scrubbing the sneaker.

3. Blot with a wet washcloth.

HOW IT WORKS

The calcium, phosphate, glycerin, and sodium lauryl sulfate in toothpaste cleans the canvas of the sneaker.

CUT AND PASTE

Toothpaste can also be used to clean:

• Burn Marks. To clean minor burn marks from wood furniture, rub the spot with toothpaste, and then wipe clean with a soft, clean cloth.
• Clothes Iron. To clean residue from the silver soleplate on an iron, squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on a damp, soft cloth and rub the bottom of the cool, unplugged iron. Rinse well.
• Compact Disc. To stop a compact disc from skipping, rub a dab of toothpaste on the disk with a clean, soft cloth. Rinse clean with water, and dry thoroughly.
• Crayon. To clean crayon marks off walls, squeeze some toothpaste on an old toothbrush and scrub the marks.
• Crayon, Lip Balm, or Lipstick. If crayons or a tube of lip balm or lipstick go through the dryer, leaving melted wax all over the inside of the dryer, squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on a sponge, a stiff nail brush, or a clean, used toothbrush, and scrub the spots. Wipe clean with a damp rag.
• Grout. Squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on a clean, old toothbrush, and scrub the grout.
• Hair Dye. To remove hair dye from skin, apply a dollop of toothpaste on a damp cloth and rub the stained skin gently in a circular motion. Repeat if necessary.
• Piano Keys. To clean ivory or plastic piano keys, squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on a damp, soft, clean cloth, rub the keys, and wipe clean.
• Porcelain. To clean stubborn stains from a porcelain sink, squeeze a dab of toothpaste on a soft, clean cloth and rub the stains. Rinse clean and dry.
• Scuff Marks. To clean scuff marks from vinyl, linoleum, or tile floors, squeeze a dab of toothpaste on a damp, clean, soft cloth, and rub. Clean with a clean, wet cloth.
• Silver. To clean tarnish from silver, squeeze a dollop of toothpaste on a soft, clean cloth, and rub the item. Rinse and dry.
• Tar. To clean tar from skin, rub a dollop of toothpaste into the tar, and then rinse clean.
• Water Spots. To remove water spots from a penetrating-sealed wood floor, squeeze a dab of toothpaste on a damp, clean, soft cloth and rub the spot until the white mark disappears.
• Water Rings. To remove a white ring from wood furniture, squeeze a dab of toothpaste on a damp, clean, soft cloth and rub the ring until the white mark disappears.

How to Clean a Retainer in a Ziplock Freezer Bag

WHAT YOU NEED

• Ziplock freezer bag, sandwich size
• Water
• Denture cleansing tablets

WHAT TO DO

1. Rinse off the retainer with water to remove any visible buildup.

2. Place the retainer in the ziplock bag and fill the bag halfway with warm—not hot—water. (Hot water can distort the plastic.)

3. Add two denture cleansing tablets, and seal the bag shut.

4. Let it soak for 15 to 20 minutes.

5. Discard the liquid and remove the retainer from the bag.

6. Clean the retainer thoroughly with toothpaste and a toothbrush to remove any residual plaque. Rinse off the retainer.

HOW IT WORKS

When you wear a retainer for several hours, tartar and bacteria build up on the orthodontic device. Denture cleansing tablets, developed to remove tartar and bacteria from dentures, work equally well on retainers—and the instructions above can also be used to clean dentures in a ziplock bag.

HOW TO RETAIN YOUR RETAINER

• Never carry a retainer in your pocket or purse unprotected (not even in a plastic bag). Otherwise, the retainer may get damaged.
• Never wrap a retainer in a napkin or tissue. Otherwise, it might get thrown away accidentally.
• Never leave your retainer in a hot car, washing machine, or dishwasher.
• Never leave your retainer lying around (even in the case). Otherwise, your pets may chew on it or someone may step on it.
• Never boil a retainer in water or soak it in rubbing alcohol, mouthwash, bleach, or any other strong cleansing solution.
• Never store a retainer in the case without cleaning it. Otherwise the retainer will become stained, start to smell, and grow mold.

How to Make a Lint Brush from Packaging Tape

WHAT YOU NEED

• Packaging tape

WHAT TO DO

1. Wrap a strip of packaging tape around your hand with the sticky side out.

2. Pat your clothes with the tape.

3. Remove the strip of tape from your hand and discard.

4. Repeat with a fresh strip of tape if necessary.

HOW IT WORKS

The lint or pet hairs will stick to the tape.

EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK

The Brush Off

Here are a few other ways to remove lint and pet hair from clothes:

• Dryer Sheets. To remove pet hair from clothes or furniture, simply wipe the affected area with a used dryer sheet, which works like a magnet, attracting all the hairs.
• Latex Gloves. To remove pet hair from clothes or furniture, put on a pair of latex gloves, fill a bucket halfway with water, dip the gloves in the water, wipe the area affected by the pet hair, and dip the gloves in the water again. The wet rubber attracts the pet hair, and the water in the bucket rinses it off.
• Lemon Juice. To prevent lint in the dryer, add ¼ cup lemon juice in the final rinse cycle of the washing machine.
• Pair of Panty Hose. When drying clothes covered with lint, toss a clean, used pair of panty hose into the dryer along with the linty clothes. The nylon works like a magnet, attracting all the lint.
• Vinegar. To avoid generating lint, add ½ cup of vinegar to the final rinse in the washing machine.

How to Electrocute an Intruder with a Table Lamp

WHAT YOU NEED

• Wire cutters (or scissors or knife)
• Table lamp
• Several glasses of water

WHAT TO DO

1. If an intruder threatens to break into your room and cause you physical harm, use the wire cutters to cut the end of the cord from the lamp.

2. Separate the two wires for the length of the cord.

3. Using the wire cutters, strip roughly 5 inches of plastic coating off the end of the active (hot) wire. The wire connected to the smaller blade of the plug is the active (hot) wire.

4. Attach the stripped end of the active wire to the doorknob by wrapping it securely around the handle. Make certain that the wire cannot fall off the doorknob.

5. Using the wire cutters, strip 1 inch of plastic coating off the end of the second (neutral) wire.

6. Attach the stripped end of the second wire to the carpet directly beneath the doorknob.

7. Pour several glasses of water beneath the door to make a large puddle on the carpeting outside the door so that exposed second wire touches the wet carpeting and anyone attempting to open the door from the outside will be standing on the wet carpeting.

8. Insert the plug from the cord into an outlet, and do not touch the doorknob until you have unplugged the cord.

HOW IT WORKS

Water conducts electricity. When someone grabs the doorknob from outside the door, the 110 volts of electricity from the wall socket surge through his body and his shoes touching the wet puddle on the carpeting to complete the circuit, giving the intruder a jolt of electricity.

WARNINGS

• Do not attempt to electrify the doorknob if the doorjamb is made from metal. Otherwise, you risk a short circuit, which may trip a circuit breaker or start a fire.
• Depending on the amperage traveling through the cord, the electric shock may kill the intruder, particularly if the person wears a pacemaker. Electrifying a doorknob in a non-life-threatening situation could make you liable for premeditated murder or other serious charges.

CULTURE SHOCK

• In the 1990 movie Home Alone, Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) places the loop of an electric charcoal lighter over the doorknob to the front door of his house. When con man Harry Lime (Joe Pesci) grabs the red-hot knob, he burns his hand.
• In a 1958 episode of the television series Peter Gunn (season 1, episode 11), private detective Gunn (Craig Stevens) escapes from his captors at the Olford Rest Home by cutting a cord from a lamp in his room and wiring it to the doorknob and the carpet in front of the door. He douses the carpet with water and calls for his jailer, who, upon stepping on the wet carpet, gets electrocuted.