“What the hell?” Josh groggily ground out the question as he peered down at his contorted lover. Contorted was the only way to describe it. Luke was somehow on his knees but not, flat on his belly but not, and partway on his side but upright.
To confound it all, sweat dotted his brow, his skin was a clammy white, and lines of stress and tension bracketed his mouth.
Luke made no reply, instead shifted his limbs, but he looked like he was floundering rather than actually going somewhere.
“Are you stuck?” Josh asked, confused as fuck by what the hell was going on. When Luke pursed his lips, Josh had an answer of sorts. “Can I help? Or are you intending to stay like that all day?”
“Fuck off,” he bit out.
“You’d be truly fucked if I did. What the hell were you trying to do?” he asked, curling upright into a sitting position to help Luke. He had to half lift him while supporting his gammy leg, then grab his good arm to help tug him upward. By the end of it, he was panting and wondering if Luke had been playing a solo game of Twister.
When Luke was finally flat on his back on the mattress, grunting and groaning like he’d just run a five-kilometer race in an epic time limit, Josh peered down at him. “Care to explain?”
“No.”
“Well, I’d like an explanation regardless.”
Luke raised an arm and covered his eyes with his wrist. “I want a tattoo.”
Josh blinked at the off-topic retort. “Get one, then.”
“You wouldn’t mind?”
“Depends.”
“On what?”
“Well, I guess you’d best ask Gia first. You know she doesn’t like ink. But aside from that, nothing with loads of snakes or fucking skulls.” He shuddered. “That shit gives me the creeps.”
Luke snorted. “Of course I was going to ask Gia first. And I know you don’t like that stuff. Neither do I. I just wanted a quote.”
“Which one?”
He shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Not yet, anyway.”
“Sure it matters. And I highly doubt you don’t know the quote.”
“The truth untold. The pity war distilled.” Luke’s lips tightened.
Josh frowned. “I don’t know that one.”
“That’s because you stopped reading poetry at college.”
“You’re damned right I did. Which poet?”
“Wilfred Owen.”
“There’s no solace to be found in First World War poems.”
“That’s what you think. It’s been helping get me through it. Shell-shocked, that’s the pair of us.”
“He’s been dead nearly a hundred years, Luke. There’s no comparison.”
“That’s what’s fucked-up, Josh. There is. Nearly a century since he died, a week before the Armistice, and war’s still going on. It’s still a piteous affair where men die for the greater good, and the truth is never spoken for fear of scaring the everyday folk.”
“Gia could handle hearing what you have to say.”
Luke lowered his arm and tilted his head so he could look Josh square in the eye. “Do you mean that?”
He jerked a shoulder. “Yeah. She’s tough. Plus, she likes to know how hard a situation is so she can approach it in the right way.”
“With the aim of doing what?”
“Cracking it.”
“I’m not a walnut,” he snarled.
“I never said you were, but you obviously need to get your head out of your ass. This entire situation is, I’ll admit, fucked-up. I never thought… It’s a complex cover-up that somehow you’re up to your neck deep in, and yet we’ve found a way to tell the truth. In your case, the truth isn’t untold, love.”
Luke gnawed at his cheek. “Only because of you. Not everyone has a brigadier general to fight their corner.”
“Maybe.” He leaned on one hand as he rolled onto his side so he could rub Luke’s scratchy jaw with his free fingers.
“Definitely. You believed in me.”
“Of course.”
“It’s not as simple as that.”
“Yes, it is. The instant I knew what had happened, I knew it was bullshit. Gia, less so because I kept most of the truth from her. I knew she’d have different crap to handle. When I read the reports, saw the details of the IED explosion…” He shook his head. “I knew you’d be fucked up top. She had to deal with that while I saved your reputation.”
“Fucked up top…that’s an understatement, Josh. My head is, well, it’s driving me crazy.”
“Nah, it’s not. There are far worse than you with less of a support system. You have us, and once this appeal is over, you’ll start to get back to your old self. It might take years or months. Either way, we’re here, and we always will be. It takes a while to remember that, that’s all.
“When you’re faced with lies and deception on all sides, then you come home and see that you’re believed, that the people who love you most have such faith in you they’ll move mountains to protect you, that’s when you start to get better.” He chucked Luke’s chin.
“I hope it’s as easy as that.”
“Remember twelve years ago?”
Luke grunted. “Red Wings?”
Josh nodded. “You know how that went. I wasn’t even involved all that much, only on the periphery, but damn, that fucked me over. My head was…” He closed his eyes. “It was hard, and you got me through.”
“I’m not saying this is worse, Josh, but it’s, well, worse.”
Despite himself, and despite Luke’s somber tone, Josh rolled his eyes. “I’m not saying it isn’t. I’m just saying look for solace where solace is to be found. The therapist helps, the group sessions, and the rehab, but nothing is worth more than what you can find at home. If you don’t take advantage of that, you’re a fool because few have such a solid base as what you have. Hell, I wish I’d had Gia back then.”
“I know you’re right.”
“Good. I’m not saying you’re going to act on that, or that you’re ready to act on it, but at least knowing it is half the battle. Now, are you going to tell me why you were doing gymnastics at the bottom of the bed?”
Luke flushed. His eyes glinted with amaranthine fire. “My knee gave out.”
“I gathered that, but why did it do that in the first place?”
“I was trying to crawl down to the foot of the bed.”
“I repeat,” Josh growled. “Why?”
“Dammit, I saw your morning wood and wanted a taste.”
Unbidden, a grin bloomed on Josh’s face. A shit-eating one. He reached down, grabbed his cock with a fist, and said, “I’d say it still wants to be tasted.”
“Yeah, well, my fucking knee won’t bend.”
“There are ways and means.” He peered down at Luke’s groin and saw his cock twitch beneath the flannel pants he’d taken to wearing to bed. It had taken him all of four hours last night to convince him they should sleep together after spending the nights alone since Gia had driven off to Lafayette of all fucking places. He still had no idea what her real reasons for being there were, and the questions were killing him.
Up until two days ago, Luke had still been spending the majority of his nights in the spare room, thanks to his injuries. But with Gia away and sleep distant, neither of them had wanted to be alone. Weird how that was the catalyst he’d needed to return to their marriage bed, but Luke never failed to surprise Josh. That was one thing he loved about him.
Nothing was ever boring with Luke.
Or Gia, for that matter.
They always kept him on his toes.
“It went down after the impromptu bout of yoga, but I’m about ready to bust a nut.”
Feeling his eyes flare with interest, Josh remarked, “My knee can bend.”
“Show-off,” came the retort, but it was without heat.
“I know. My flexibility has always been without compare. I sometimes wonder how I manage to get out of bed without doing a somersault.”
“Shut up, you dick, and use your dick to get me off.”
“I thought you’d stopped being a soldier. Do you want me to salute first?”
Luke scowled. “I’ll make a part of you salute if you’re not careful.”
Josh grinned. “Promises, promises. Let me get the lube.”
He bent over to open the top drawer of his bedside table, dug around for a second, then found what he was after. Despite their teasing, Josh knew how he wanted to start the morning. It was the first day of the appeal, and he wanted to reconnect with Luke. What better way than face-to-face?
He rolled back over and then, leaning over his supine lover, pressed their mouths together. He knew Luke wouldn’t have expected a tender kiss, because that wasn’t Josh’s way, but it was what he wanted for them that morning. He explored his lover’s lips, taking a second to nip at the tender morsels, to pinch them and pull at them with his teeth before slipping inside, further teasing Luke by fluttering his tongue in short, sharp darts.
Luke snatched the lube from his grasp, and though his mouth was otherwise engaged, Josh heard the sound of the lid being opened and the squelchy noise of lube pouring free from the bottle. A hum mumbled from him, telling Josh he was covering his own shaft first, and the faint vibration buzzed along Josh’s lips, making them tingle. He groaned when Luke’s slippery fingers caught hold of his cock, coating it liberally before jerking him off in slow, long, hard pulls.
By the time he was thrusting his tongue into Luke’s mouth, taunting the pair of them with the motion of fucking, Josh was jerking his hips in time to his lover’s movements. His cock felt pained, in desperate need of release. He pulled away, breathless when Luke suddenly released his shaft, then grabbed his balls, jerking them down as he rolled them together. A panting gasp escaped him, and he rested his damp forehead against Luke’s.
“You do much more of that, and I won’t last.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
“You complaining about my stamina?”
Luke snorted. “Nope.”
“Good. A man might take umbrage.”
“You do that, buddy,” came the sniggered reply. Then, softly, he murmured, “You’ll have to take my pants off. My leg’s still aching.”
Josh nodded and remained silent. It took a lot for Luke to make any such admission, and he knew it. “I’ll be careful,” was all he said.
“Thanks.” Luke blew out a breath and grumbled. “If you don’t put your cock inside me soon, I might bust that nut I mentioned. Just warning you. I’m not complaining about your stamina, more like my own.”
Chuckling, Josh pulled away and climbed off the bed to approach Luke’s side. He eyed the sweatpants that were drenched in lube. “You’ve ruined that pair. Gia will be pissed.”
“What she won’t know won’t hurt her.”
He chortled. “True. While the cat’s away, we should do whatever pisses her off the most.”
“What? Waste food and leave the toilet seat up?”
“Huh. She doesn’t ask for much, does she?”
Luke grinned. “Nope. We’re lucky bastards, and you only just realized it.”
“Hey, that’s not fair. I know we’re lucky, but I don’t always remember why.”
“Like that makes it better.” Luke sniffed his disgust, then groaned a little when Josh started to pull down his pants and he had to lift his hips, pushing weight onto his heels and knees in an effort to get naked.
By the time the fabric was on the floor, he was panting, and his hard-on had flagged. Josh said nothing, simply took a second to look at the crisscross of scars on his lover’s body.
“It’s a wonder you haven’t lost yours,” Luke snarled, a flush of discomfort turning him a nasty shade of puce. He looked set to grab the sheets to cover up, but Josh tugged them back, glowering at him all the while. “I look like a fucking railroad.”
“You’re sexy as shit, so don’t ask for compliments,” Josh growled in retort. “It’s not like you to be vain.”
“Yeah, well, that was before I made Frankenstein’s monster look smooth and supple.”
Josh snickered. “That’s funny.”
“It wasn’t meant to be.”
“I know. That’s why it’s funny.”
“You’re a jerk.”
“Maybe.”
“No maybe about it.”
“That’s why you love me, though.”
Luke grunted. “More’s the pity.”
“Less of the pity,” he remarked and pointed at Luke’s shaft, which miraculously had started to bob. “Apparently he likes it when I tease you.”
“Fuck off.”
“The cock doesn’t lie.” He watched for a handful of seconds, spotting that his attention stiffened up the shaft all the more, enough so, clear liquid began to pool at the tip before slipping down to coat his belly in a mixture of precum and lube.
Josh reached forward and gripped the base in his fist. The pair of them focused on his clasp, watching as his cock grew harder, redder, the glans more delineated, the veins starting to throb and pulsate. The muscles in his own stomach began to flex with need, and Josh released the dick in his fist and began to arrange Luke to his own satisfaction—and that of his lover’s injuries.
Carefully, he tugged him to the edge of the bed, and with Luke relying heavily on his support, he turned him so his legs dangled over the side of the mattress.
“Can you bend it at all?” he asked, eying the still bruised and mangled flesh of the wound. The terrifying thing was, it was wrapped in clean badges. If the outer part of the injury looked like hell, Christ only knew how bad the epicenter was.
It was no wonder Luke never let them cast eyes on it. He hated pity, and while that wasn’t what Josh was feeling, an answering sympathy and hurt did make him try to handle Luke with kid gloves. Something Josh knew he hated but was helpless to stop.
Loving someone triggered an empathetic ache in each wound. Were the roles to ever be reversed, Josh knew they’d both feel the exact same way. That didn’t lessen his lover’s irritation, though. Frankly, Josh couldn’t blame him either.
Luke scowled down at his knee and gritted out, “No, it’s fucked for the day.”
“You should have asked me for help.”
“I wanted to give you a blowjob, not have a physio session.”
At his snap, Josh grunted his annoyance and studied the situation. “Okay, I can manage.” He carefully spread Luke’s legs, figured out the mechanics a little more, then sighed. “I wanted to do this face-to-face. I don’t think we can.”
Luke blinked. “Not if I’m in this position, no.”
Josh pulled a face. “Fuck.”
“Yeah, I’d get a kick out of doing that sometime soon.”
Grumbling, he helped Luke onto his feet, and though he was stiff as fuck, they managed to get him upright. Josh climbed onto the bed and assumed the same position. “We could wait until your knee’s better?”
Luke snorted again. “Yeah, let’s not do that.”
“You should rest your leg. Putting weight on it isn’t good for it.”
“It can cope for fifteen minutes. I won’t last long. I’m already close to the edge. I need to fuck you.”
Josh grimaced, then shivered when Luke bent over to press a kiss to his chest and then licked around the areola of his nipple. He slipped his hand down to grab Josh’s shaft as he began to suck the small nub. He’d admit to starting to relax at the touch, and after a few minutes when Luke stopped jerking him off and began to play with the pucker of his ass, he didn’t tense too much.
The problem was, Josh liked being in charge. Even here. Luke was usually on the receiving end of a good fuck, not him.
With fingers up his ass, more lube being spread over the rosette, and a pinkie starting to rub at his prostate, any complaints soon disappeared. It was usually the way, but still, it took a lot to persuade him to assume the position.
He reached out to cup Luke’s head, to run his fingers through the corn-colored locks that were like silk against his palms. He rocked his hips, reveling in his lover’s intimate touch. A cry escaped him when Luke’s explorations grew bolder, enough that the muscles in his stomach clamped down, almost jerking Luke off his nipple.
Apparently that was the sign he was looking for, because Luke stood again, a smirk on his face and his hand now gripping his shaft. “Ready?” he asked.
“You know I am, prick tease.”
“I learned from the best.” Luke grabbed Josh’s legs and dragged him closer to the edge. It was a perfect alignment, and within seconds, the tip of Luke’s shaft was prodding at his rosette.
Josh sucked in a breath and forced himself to relax as his ass slowly began to accept the invader. A shudder racked him as the thick length forged a path inside him, raking nerve endings to life with its heat. Both men groaned when Luke finally sank home, his whole cock buried deep.
“Damn, that feels good,” he whispered.
Luke nodded. “Good is an understatement.” His voice was reassuringly hoarse.
When Luke started to pull out and carefully began to thrust once more, Josh started to see stars. The caution was probably more for his own injury, because he was usually rougher, but the care he took added an extra element to the event. It was intimate, tender somehow.
Tenderness was usually left to their interactions with Gia. The pair of them were too strong, too aggressive to take each other with gentleness. It in no way diminished the love they had for each other; it was simply how they rolled. Their dynamic was unique and completely separate to the one they shared with Gia. It was why their ménage worked. They were individuals amid the triad, and they never forgot that.
This, however, he found difficult to forget. There was a sense of vulnerability in this position that he’d never cared for. On his back, legs splayed, his gaze caught by Luke’s… In a sense, he could pity women for having to do this. Baring the most intimate areas of their body, being plundered by an outsider. They were just two of the reasons he disliked it and preferred to top Luke.
He felt his concentration, his focus on the differences between sex on the bottom and sex on top, start to fade away when Luke grabbed ahold of his shaft and, in time to each thrust, began to tug at his cock. A garbled moan escaped him when Luke rounded the tip with his thumb and began to circle the slit where precum was gathering, and his ass clamped down on the cock buried inside. That triggered a chain reaction that had Luke’s hips picking up speed, making each thrust rub that little gland deep inside him, which sent fireworks raining at the periphery of his vision.
His back arched when Luke clamped his hand down on his shaft and nudged his prostate at the most beautifully, perfectly wonderful angle. The fireworks gave way to an explosion that sent his nerves into meltdown and had cum spurting from his dick to coat both his belly and Luke’s. And the cherry on top?
Well, it was Luke’s hoarse cry. The juddery final thrusts as he worked his own orgasm for all it was worth. The harsh, panting breaths of a man satisfied with his lover.
His limbs felt shaky with the power of his climax—even the aftermath was momentous, and it wasn’t over. They were still connected, but he reared up, using his feet to gain traction and support on the mattress, bringing their torsos closer together.
“The only thing that spoiled that was you not being able to get closer to me,” he whispered, reaching for Luke’s chin and bringing him forward so their mouths could join.
Luke’s chuckle was weak. “Damn knee. A kiss from you would have sent me over the edge five minutes earlier.”
“I’ll remember that next time,” he promised. “Come on. We have another thirty minutes or so before we have to get ready. Let’s relax, eh?”
“That sounds nice,” Luke replied, a sigh of pleasure to the words. “We haven’t done this in a long while.”
“No. Things have been busy.”
“We should never be too busy for this.”
Josh blew out a breath. “I know you’re right.” He shivered when Luke pulled his shaft free, then took a few seconds to relish the sensations that one simple move had caused. Damning the mess, preferring to retain the intimacy of the past few moments, he moved across the bed to make space for Luke and watched, ready to help, if aid was needed.
It wasn’t. Luke made it onto the mattress fine and lay back. He was out of breath by then, though, and considering the pair of them were more than fit, it was a testament to how much work it required not to strain his injuries.
“It’s unlike you to admit to being wrong, Josh.”
“I didn’t say I was wrong, only that you’re right. Once the appeal is over, things will change.”
“You say that now.”
“Yeah, I do. I know it’s going to go in your favor, Luke. Why do you think we haven’t done this in a while? I’ve been busting my balls to make damn sure you’ll come out of this spotless. After, things will revert to the way they’ve always been.”
“Exactly. You’re always busy.”
“It’s my job. I can’t help the demands it places on me.”
“I’m not complaining, not really. I’m just saying, you need to prioritize. Lexi’s growing up, Josh.”
“She’s nearly six. Don’t exaggerate.”
“Two minutes ago, she was one. It seems like hardly any time since she was in diapers, and now she’s learning about the Acadians for fun. What if Gia gets pregnant again? Do you want to be distant? A father figure if not a dad?” He shrugged. “All I’m doing is raising the questions Gia wants to ask but never does. She lets us both get away with murder because she wants us to be happy, but what about her?
“I’ve been thinking about this ever since you told her she needed to hide out during the appeal. She makes a lot of sacrifices for us, and we…well, we take advantage of that.”
Josh scowled, rolling onto his side to focus his glower on Luke. “I love her.”
“So what? I love her too, but that doesn’t mean we don’t take advantage of her.”
“I’ve asked her if she’s happy here.”
“She is happy. I know that. It doesn’t mean she can’t be happier, though, does it? And isn’t her being the happiest Gia she can be what we should focus on?”
“No, I guess,” he eventually replied, a grunt to the admission.
“She’s used to playing second fiddle to the army. So used to it, it’s a part and parcel of life with us, but that doesn’t make it fair. You should think about that when you start thinking about your schedule after the appeal.
“Family first, Josh. We both forget that, but we shouldn’t. Because without family, we’re nothing. Just bags of bones and meat, fodder for a war we can’t win.”
“Now you’re being gloomy.”
“I’ve got a death knell clanging at my back, Josh. You try not to be gloomy. Over the next couple of days, my reputation, my honor, my career…it’s all going to be pulled apart, shredded to pieces, and all because some schmuck of a colonel thinks he can get away with murder, literally, and stack the blame on me because I dared to stand up to him and refused to be absorbed into his racketeering.
“Life isn’t fair, but we’ve been handed a golden egg with Gia. I’ve always known it, but when I got back, the things going on in my head… I started to forget it. Now she’s not here, it’s the reminder we both needed.
“Any flower starts to wilt without appreciation.”
Josh sighed. “I’ll think about it.”
“That’s all anyone can ask of you.”
The two of them settled into silence as they stared at the sun as it made mottled bubbles dance across their ceiling. It wasn’t an uncompanionable silence, but they were both thinking as dawn broke, and surprisingly, neither’s thoughts centered on the upcoming events but on the woman who should have been lying between them yet wasn’t.