“I don’t think these roses will graft well together, Luke.”
He ignored his mom’s grousing and carried on with the delicate work of taking the stalk of one rose and grafting it onto the rootstock of another. He was working with English tea roses and a miniature variety. The antique English were densely petaled with a thick and full blossom, whereas the miniature was obviously smaller with a looser bloom. His intention was to create a miniature English rose. One with all the strength of the hardier flower, as well as its perfume, but all in a compact size.
The past two weeks had been spent grafting a variety of heritage English roses, and so far, save for one, the rest had been unsuccessful. They’d been trying to discern which graft fit the best as well as which rose to settle on.
He didn’t mind. After all, it was about being patient, but he’d have liked more than one to take. Still, it was a slow process and all about experimentation. This part was the first of many to come, and he knew how many hurdles they’d have to leap over before they perfected the hybrid tea rose he’d been dreaming about since he’d first realized he could Frankenstein two types of roses together to create another. He likened that bloom to a child. It took on characteristics of its parents, which was why when he eventually crafted the rose of his dreams, he was going to call it the Alexia Gray Rose.
Lexi would get such a kick out of that.
“We can but try, Mom,” he told her, his voice absentminded as he got to work on the delicate procedure. “Anyway, it’s the wrong time of year, so no need to stress about it.”
They were T-budding, which was a form of grafting they were experimenting with today. At the moment, he was using a Dr. Huey rose as rootstock, as they were hardy and over time would create a stronger hybrid tea.
He had cut a T-shape into the stalk of the Dr. Huey, and of the English rose he was working with at the moment, he’d taken the bud eye—the part on a rose bush that would eventually turn into a leaf—cut the stalk in two, and pushed that part down into the slot he’d created on the Dr. Huey. He then had to tape the graft into place, making sure not to cover the bud eye, which would eventually blossom if the graft took.
They were starting at the beginning. Determining not only the best grafting technique but which English rose would work best. Then would come the miniaturizing process. This was not something that would happen overnight, and it was unlike his mom to be impatient.
As he taped above the bud eye and below it, using electrician’s tape to tightly bind the graft in place, he looked at his mom from the corner of his eye. “Everything all right, Ma?” he asked, noticing she was fidgeting as she watched him work.
She pulled a face. “I’m just nervous. That’s all.”
“I know. Why do you think I’m here?” Day two of the appeal, and Josh had advised him not to sit in on the process. He knew what that meant—Harrison, the bastard who had tried to blame this whole farce on Luke, had shown up and was probably going to testify against him today.
Josh thought he was so clever, so sneaky in keeping things like this from him. But when you lived with someone as long as he had Josh, it didn’t take much to figure out what was really going on.
It had either been stay at home in bed or get his mom to come over and drive him to the family farm. He shouldn’t be on his feet, but he was leaning most of his weight against a high stool, and the best part, it was keeping him sane.
If his mind and fingers were engaged, then at least he wasn’t thinking about things he could no longer change and an unfair appeal process that was entirely out of his hands.
“I hate the fact you’re under fire, Son. I don’t like that I can’t do anything to help.”
“You’re helping by being here, Mom. You know that. Doing this together, working on this project, it helps calm me down.”
“I’m glad. But it’s not enough. Has Josh said how he thinks it’s going?”
“He’s no oracle, Ma. He’s watching the lay of the land like I am.”
She huffed, plowing her fingers into a pot of soil she was tending. “That doesn’t sound like the Josh I know.”
“No, but in this, he’s already done far more than he should have. Legally, I mean.”
“I’m glad you have two people who will go to the ends of the earth for you, my darlin’ boy. If anyone deserves it, it’s you.” With dirty paws, she patted him on the back.
“I’m very lucky.”
“You certainly are. You probably don’t realize how much, either.”
There was a caustic tone to her voice, one that had him quirking a brow. She’d gone from earnest to punchy in less than thirty seconds. “Everything okay between you and Dad?”
“As okay as it can be,” she grumbled with a sniff.
“What does that mean?”
“It means he still drives me crazy.”
There was a finality to her tone, one that told him she didn’t want to talk about his father. Rather than push, he simply said, “You know where I am when you need to talk.”
“I do, Luke. I do. You always were a good boy,” she murmured softly with a gentle smile gracing her lips. “Time hasn’t changed that.”
He smirked at her. “That’s because of your influence.”
“I know. I wish the rest of the boys had listened to me as much. I’ve got Nathan’s wife calling me in tears because he won’t let her get a job, even though they need the extra cash. Then Lydia, Simon’s wife, is threatening to take the kids to Montana in the divorce.” She sighed. “I sometimes wonder where I went wrong.”
“You didn’t, Mom. We all grew up. We all became men. What they do with their lives is their choice.”
“I know, but it doesn’t make me feel better. It doesn’t stop me from feeling like a failure as a parent.”
He frowned at that. “You’re not a failure. Dear God, you’ve always been a wonderful mother, and if they haven’t taken advantage of that, then that’s their own damn fool fault.”
Lou’s top lip quirked up in a rueful half smile, but she neither agreed with him nor disagreed. Instead, she commented, “I’ll leave you to the grafting. I’ll go and check up on Lexi. I left her searching for potatoes twenty minutes ago, and she’ll probably be wondering where I am.”
“I doubt it. She was flinging herself through the dirt when I last checked on her. When Gia told me to dig out some of her old tees and ratty jeans from the attic, I didn’t realize how much better it would be for Lexi. It’s like she can finally relax now these clothes are supposed to get dirty.”
“Moms always know best,” Lou teased. “Although I blame that husband of yours for Lexi being a germophobe. Never known anyone need to be so clean; it’s not normal. Unfortunately, he’s passed it on to Lexi, but we’ll Gray her up a bit. Get her used to the dirt.” She winked at him, then with a gentle nudge to his side, said, “I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Okay, Ma.” He let her go, not commenting on her remarks about Josh.
With his own recent experiences with PTSD, he wasn’t going to judge Josh’s anal-retentive ways. His OCD was a coping mechanism, and with the nightmares as well as the “daymares” Luke had been experiencing of late, he wished he’d grown accustomed to this new way of thinking enough to be able to cope. As it was, coping seemed to be a long way down the line. Further ahead in the future than he’d have liked, but he was coming to learn that none of this was inside of his control.
If it was, he wouldn’t be dealing with any of this, and the only surcease he’d found, a single, solitary sliver of relief, came from being on the farm.
Tending the earth. Focusing on his work.
Every other part of his world was stained with a shadow of what had happened over in Libya. All of his deployments played a part, but the last one featured more prominently in his nightmares. His days in the sandbox, the missions and the horrors, were all merging into one nasty black mass that clouded his mind. He felt like a tornado was whirling around in his brain, blitzing the nerves, frazzling everything else—his control, his perception…
His ma had to holler from the greenhouse doorway now to tell him she was nearing his work area. The other day, he’d nearly launched at her when she’d approached him unawares. His elbow had been inches away from her throat. He’d been on the cusp of attacking his mother because his stupid brain couldn’t tell the difference between Libya and the US.
Gia had to open wine bottles with care because the pop was more than his senses could handle. And when Independence Day came, Luke felt certain he’d need sedatives to get through all the fireworks. Otherwise, Josh and Gia were going to feel like they were living with a basket case.
Life was suddenly full of hurdles that had never been there before. His other deployments hadn’t been a walk in the park—he’d gone to war, for Christ’s sake. The things he’d seen—he’d be a monster if they hadn’t affected him. But it was nothing like this.
Now, it felt as though he was walking through quicksand. His senses were dulled yet hyperaware. His attention span was minute, and yet, his focus could be intense.
The contrasts were starting to drive him crazy. He just hoped his way of coping was as simple as being OCD with cleanliness. Otherwise, he truly pitied Gia. She’d be the one who would have to adapt; he hoped she loved him enough to put up with this watered-down version of Luke. He wasn’t sure if he’d be so steadfast in her position.
A shaky sigh escaped him as he listened to his mother’s dull thudding steps on her way out of the greenhouse. Rather than think about his skewed mind, he got on with the grafting. At least that was productive and something he could control. He intended to work on two more grafts today, which would make eight in total.
The four he’d done five weeks ago, on his early days back at the farm, hadn’t taken. Disease had set in, destroying the graft and, thanks to the unusually humid weather, had made a fine mess of the rootstock too, which was a bloody inconvenience.
Of the two he’d done three weeks ago, one had taken, and it wouldn’t be long before they found out how well. Today’s samples would round off this bout of experimentation.
As he worked, the therapeutic nature of the act settled something inside him.
Damn, he loved gardening. He always had. If his dad hadn’t pressured him into the Forces, then he knew he’d have been happy as a farmer. Working the land, loving every moment of the stress that came from running a working farm, and reveling in being close to nature… Damn, it all sounded like his version of utopia.
The notion made him smile, but that smile disappeared when he heard the sound of someone clearing their throat. It wasn’t his mother, as she’d have called out sooner, but he realized it was his father and that Lou had warned him about Luke’s reaction to being surprised. Otherwise, Robert Gray wouldn’t have bothered with the warning at all.
“What do you want, Dad?” he asked, his tone cool. Luke didn’t turn around, preferring to stay focused on his work and give his father the little attention he deserved.
Things hadn’t been great since it had come out how Robert had been mistreating Lexi. There’d been no abuse, but neglect was as damaging to a child. Especially one as sensitive as Lexi.
Not hugging her like he would his other grandchildren, barely communicating with her…treating her as though she were less because she was Josh’s biological daughter and not Luke’s.
Anger rattled through him at the idea of what Robert had done. Compound it with his dismissal and his father’s reaction to it… Well, they weren’t exactly on good terms.
“I wanted to ask how the appeal was going.”
He turned to look at the old man and was surprised to see that the nickname fit. Robert was old. Unlike Lou, who wore her age gracefully and was in that odd phase of looking in her fifties even though she was approaching seventy, Robert looked rough. His hair was thinning, his eyes were rimmed red from what looked like a lack of sleep, and his face was peaky. He looked ill.
It discomfited Luke to realize he felt no real concern for his father. Most of the time, he looked at Robert like he was a stranger, and today was no different.
“It’s going as well as it can,” he commented, returning his attention to the graft. It wasn’t difficult work, but it required precision. One poor cut with his box knife, and he could slice through his thumb, or worse, cut off the stalks he was working on.
“Early days I suppose.”
“Can’t get much earlier. It’s only day two.”
“Your mother said Josh inferred it won’t be taking long.”
“No, he has some evidence he intends to pull out of his sleeve.”
“What kind of evidence?”
Luke peered at his father. “Why do you want to know?”
“I’m your dad, Luke. Of course I’m interested in seeing justice prevail, especially when it’s seen you unfairly dismissed.”
He grimaced down at the stems in his hand. “You mean when it’s seen me cast more shame on the family honor.” Luke shook his head. “Don’t think I don’t realize that’s what you meant.”
First, he came out as gay, second, he shacked up with a woman, third, came a child, and fourth, an OTH discharge. Christ, he really was racking up the sins in his father’s eyes.
“Well, it’s true. It’s hardly something to brag about, is it?”
“I’m sorry if it’s caused you a few uncomfortable moments when you’re down at the country club.” He turned back to scowl at his father and was in time to see Robert clench his jaw.
“I’m simply trying to figure out how well the review is going, that’s all. It’s not a crime, is it? I didn’t realize caring was a sin!”
“No, but it’s funny how you’ve been avoiding me all this time until Mom reveals that Josh has an ace he’s going to pull to save my ass.” As he slipped the small stalk into the T-cut he’d made in the Dr. Huey, he murmured, “Why don’t you stop pretending you give a shit, Dad? I’m too worn out to deal with your games.”
“That’s no way to talk to your father.”
The bitten-off retort had Luke shaking his head. “If that’s all you have to say, just leave me to my work.”
Robert reached forward and grabbed Luke’s shoulder. Rather than throwing him off, he froze, turned around, and spat, “Get your hands off me.”
“I want to know what’s happening, that’s all. You’re not the only one affected by this situation, Luke.”
“Yeah, that’s right. It’s all my fault, Dad, as always. Just as it’s always about you. Screw the fact my life is in tatters, that my career is at my feet. It only affects you and your world.”
“Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said anything like that,” Robert denied, but a dull flush mottled his cheeks.
“No, you just believe it. I’m the only son who made a career out of the Forces, the only one who made it to West Point, and none of my brothers even made it close to my rank, but still, nothing I’ve ever done is good enough for you. Nothing.
“One thing I learned over there, life is too short to waste on people who don’t give a crap about you.”
“You think you had it rough?” Robert snarled, jerking Luke around by grabbing his shoulder. Luke flinched, containing the shards of pain that splintered in his body at the move without uttering a single cry, and turning to face his father square in the eye. “You don’t know anything, boy. Libya’s a walk in the park in comparison to ’Nam.”
“Shall we have a pissing contest?” Luke spat, shrugging off his father’s hold. “Who has more psychological damage? Could it be Gray Sr. or Gray Jr.?” He sneered, his upper lip curling in distaste. “This isn’t a competition. What I saw doesn’t compare to what you saw, and vice versa.”
“You pansy-ass shit. Nowadays, you’ve got all these shrinks trying to tell you how to wipe your ass. You don’t know jack.”
“It’s nice to know how you really feel. Maybe you’d get a kick out of watching a kid blow himself to bits right in front of you, and maybe you’d get off on seeing your CO raping a prisoner in the ass. All that sound fun to you? Huh?” When his father didn’t make a peep, he yelled, “Does it? Is that how you get your kicks?”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Then don’t fucking compare what we went through. I know shit went down in ’Nam. Crimes against humanity aren’t spoils of war to be thrown up against the other. I’m not more fucked-up in the head than you. But that’s your problem. Everything is a competition. Everything has to be cut and dry.” Luke could feel the color draining from his face as rage at his father’s ignorance began to overwhelm him. His limbs began to shake, and even knowing he wasn’t physically capable of beating the shit out of him—he was still tempted.
Robert was old. It would probably be a fair fight with Luke’s current condition, and boy, did he deserve to have his ass handed to him.
The desire to beat some sense into his dad had to be contained. He turned back to his workstation and stared down at the grafts he’d been working on. The delicacy of the task seemed inordinately difficult now his fingers were shaking with the need to shake the bullshit out of the man standing behind him. He managed it.
Barely.
“Don’t turn away from me.”
He was about to snap back, bite off some more harsh words he’d probably regret later, when a sound whistled on the wind. Lexi’s laughter. He peered through the windows that were almost entirely shaded by some form of greenery or another and saw his baby girl running around the yard, his ma chasing after her with hands covered in dirt.
“You’ll give me cooties, Nanna Lou!” she shrieked and started feinting left and right in an attempt to escape her grandmother.
Lexi’s giggles drained his anger away. They were what he needed to take a step back from the futile rage he felt toward his father. He could have said more, spewed more poison and vitriol at Robert, but instead, in a low voice, he murmured, “Josh has found out that my CO was involved in racketeering. Plus, he has evidence of an old crony of Harrison’s snooping in Josh’s office. On the hunt for only God knows what.”
Robert grunted. “That’s an offense right there, especially knowing how high Josh’s clearance is.”
Luke reared back at the appreciation in his father’s tone. That he approved of Josh’s career wasn’t news, but he’d never heard Robert speak of his husband in such a glowing manner—yes, for Robert, that was considered effusive. “Josh has worked hard on this.”
“That’s what family does.”
He cocked a brow. “Is it? I thought family stabbed you in the back when you were down or picked on harmless little girls because they didn’t fit the bill.”
He turned in time to see Robert flush. “I care, Luke.”
“It feels like you’ve never cared.” Luke pursed his lips. “Do you know, I was only ever a soldier because of you. I wanted to work this land. I wanted to be a farmer.” He shook his head. “I never wanted to go off and fight other people’s battles, but I knew I’d never hear the end of it if I didn’t follow through with your plans for me.”
“Don’t make out like this is my fault.”
“I’m not. Did you hear me blame you for this? Of course you didn’t. I’m just saying, this farm is the only place I’ve wanted to work.” A laugh escaped him. “Funny how things turn out. This entire farce has enabled me to see what I want out of life.”
“You can’t bury yourself in here grafting dumb tea roses, for God’s sake.”
At his father’s scorn, Luke smiled. “Watch me. You swayed me once, but you won’t sway me again.” He turned his back on Robert. “I’ll be sure to let you know how the appeal works out.” And with that, he continued with his work, letting a heavy, uncomfortable blanket of quiet settle in the potting shed.
Robert took the hint and without another word headed out and back to wherever he’d come from. The second he left, the atmosphere in the greenhouse lightened. He’d never understand his father, and the more he knew him, the more disappointed he was by Robert. Luke was grateful they were polar opposites.
A few minutes later, with a few more nicks made to the rootstock, Lou appeared after calling out his name by the door. “Was that your father I saw coming out of here?”
“I’d frigging hope so,” Luke retorted, shooting her a glance. “No farmhands are working this late, are they?”
She chuckled and peered over his shoulder. “True. I hadn’t thought of it like that. Those look good. I’m surprised you got anything done with Robert about. What did he have to say?”
“The usual bullshit.” He sniffed. “Everything’s working out well now Josh is going to save the day and, in the process, my reputation.”
“I’m sorry, Luke,” she told him, her tone heavy. “I know he’s not been here for you these past couple of months.”
“I’m used to it, Mom. He’s never been here for me, not unless I was doing exactly what he wanted me to do. I never expected support from him when I got home. I knew what his reaction would be, and he didn’t disappoint.” He sucked in a deep breath, trying to dispel the bitter taste interactions with his father always caused, and changed the subject. “How’s Lexi? I saw you two playing in the yard.”
“Covered in dirt but happy. She’s digging for potato gold, she says.”
Luke grinned, then with satisfaction lacing his words, remarked, “We have another gardener in our midst.”
“About damn time,” Lou retorted. “I wondered when any of my grandchildren would take an interest in this place.”
Touched at Lou’s inclusion of Lexi when Robert had only ever excluded her, he murmured, “Thanks, Mom.”
“There’s no need to thank me. I’ve never thought like Robert has. She’s as much mine as she’s Josh’s mom’s. That’s always the way I’ve seen her.”
“I know, and that’s why I’m grateful.”
Lou squeezed his arm, then moved over to her workstation and picked up a watering can. As she began to water her tomato plants, she told him, “There’s no need, Son. No need at all.”
* * * *
“You look tired, love.”
Gia’s concern made Luke smile. “I am, sweetheart. I’ve been at the farm all day.”
“You have? I thought you’d be at the appeal.”
Josh leaned over the counter to put a frosted glass of beer in front of him, and after he had taken a sip, he replied, “Josh said it would be wise if I didn’t go today.”
She frowned and, shoulders hunching, leaned forward. He knew she’d have moved onto his lap by now if they’d been together. “Why?”
Luke eyed Josh as he puttered around the kitchen, fixing them both a sandwich. “Well, Josh thinks I’m stupid enough not to figure out that Harrison must have been there today.”
“I don’t think you’re stupid, but I would be stupid if I put a red flag in front of a bull, wouldn’t I?” Josh called out as he sliced up some bread.
“He’s right, love,” Gia told him, a sympathetic wrinkle of her nose the only concession she gave.
“I don’t mind, but I don’t like being treated like an idiot.”
“No one does. But that’s Josh’s specialty.”
“Tell her I heard that.”
“Tell him I intended him to.”
Luke grinned and took another sip of beer. He’d only left the shower a handful of minutes ago. He was squeaky clean, his back ached from leaning over the workstation, and his hands were tired from all the fiddly work, and the beer was exactly what he needed—it hit the perfect spot. Tonight, he’d sleep. And the relief that brought lightened his mood and his tone. “How are you, sweetheart? Are you getting some rest? You look as tired as I feel.”
She pulled a face. “I haven’t been sleeping well. Not really. Being out of the loop sucks.”
“I know. I wish you could be here, but at the same time, I’m glad you’re not being touched by this. It’s affecting our family too much as it is. I don’t want it tarnishing you too.”
“Don’t be silly, Luke. I love you, for good or ill. I hate that I’m not around to support you.”
The words took him back to his conversation with his father, and it must have shown on his face, because she murmured, “Love, are you okay?”
He pursed his lips. “Yeah, I’m okay. It’s just…what you said reminded me of something Dad told me today.”
She groaned and covered her face with a hand. Peering through her fingers the way she was reminded him of Lexi when she was trying to avoid her morning vitamins. “Oh God, you saw him?”
“Yeah. He’s been staying out of the way, but Mom let it slip about Josh working hard on my appeal, so now things look rosy, he’s trying to crawl back.”
“Snake.” She firmed her jaw. “I know he’s your father, but that man royally pisses me off.”
“You’re not alone, love. He pisses me off too.”
“And me,” Josh remarked as he placed a plate loaded with tuna fish salad sandwiches in front of Luke. “I wondered if you’d seen him today.”
“Why?”
“Remember I told you how you change when you’ve been around your father and brothers?” When Luke rolled his eyes, Josh retorted, “You mock, but it’s the truth.”
“I missed that. The connection was a bit dodgy. What’s the truth?” Gia asked.
“When Luke has had the misfortune of hanging out with his brothers and Robert, what’s he like?”
Her answer was immediate. “A bear with a sore head.”
“Ouch. Thanks, Gia,” Luke grumbled.
She shrugged, a sheepish cast to the face she pulled. “Sorry, sweetheart, but it’s true.”
“How is it true? What do I do? I think I’d know if talking to them turned me into Mr. Hyde.”
“It’s not that bad, but you’re just…in a bad mood. It’s like they make you unhappy, and you have to work it out of your system.”
Her explanation had him grimacing. “I guess that fits.”
“Well, yeah, I mean, I’m not making it up. Neither is Josh.” She sighed, and the look she aimed at him was sympathetic. “You’re different to them, love.”
“Yeah, I’m bisexual.” He took a huge bite of his sandwich to punctuate his point.
She sniffed. “Rubbish. It’s more than that. Isn’t it, Josh?”
As his mouth was as full of tuna fish as Luke’s, Josh nodded. Then, after he took a sip of his beer, he murmured, “Your brothers are jerks, and Robert is the head coach of Jerk Team.”
“That sums it up pretty neatly,” Gia inserted. “Anyway, they’re all creeps. I wouldn’t trust a one of them if I was married to them.”
Luke grinned. “You do realize you’re totally maligning my family here?”
Gia flushed. “I guess we are. Sorry, sweetheart.”
“I’m not sorry,” Josh retorted. “It’s the truth. They’re a bunch of jackasses. Apart from Lou, of course. She’s good as gold.”
“Yeah, Lou’s good people. How is she? The last time I spoke to her, she seemed a little preoccupied.”
That Gia had picked up on his ma’s “preoccupation” as well had Luke frowning. “I think something’s going on, but I’m not sure what. She’s not ready to talk about it yet, I don’t think.”
“She’s probably as mad as hell at Robert. Your ma can be a tigress when she wants to be. And you’re her favorite, Luke. It’s no wonder she’s pissed at Robert for not supporting you. Am I right, Gia?”
“Yeah, he’s right.”
Luke huffed. “I don’t think I like this. You two agreeing with each other. I’m the voice of reason here.”
Gia laughed. “Times change.”
“They don’t change that goddamn much.”
Josh just grinned, but that smirk fell away when Gia asked, “How did it go today, love? You were at the appeal, weren’t you?”
“I was.” Gia couldn’t see, but Luke did—Josh clenched his fists, turning his knuckles a jaundiced white. “It took everything I had not to smash that bastard’s face in.”
“What was the appeals board’s reaction to Harrison’s testimony?” Luke asked, reaching over to squeeze one of Josh’s still-clenched fists.
“I think Jarvis had been talking to them behind closed doors. They weren’t impressed.”
“Well, that makes no change. They weren’t impressed with me either.”
“Which is why I think Jarvis has involved himself earlier than we planned.” Josh shrugged. “Plus, it helped I had that tape of one of Harrison’s cronies sneaking through my office.”
“What was Harrison’s reaction to that?”
Josh winked. “He looked as furious as hell.”
“Good! The bastard needs to start sweating after what he put Luke through.”
“We’re all feeling it, Gia. We all deserve retribution.” He took another long pull from his beer. “Christ, I needed that.”
“It certainly looked like you did. I’ve never seen you down a beer in three gulps.” Gia bit her lip, then on a shuddery sigh, blurted, “Christ, I miss you guys.”
“We miss you too, sweetheart,” Luke immediately replied. “I hope this damned thing is over soon so you can come back to us. The house isn’t the same without you.”
“He’s right, Gia. Things don’t work as well when you’re not here.”
Her smile was shaky. “It’s nice to know I’m appreciated. Even if it’s only because I don’t make you eat tuna sandwiches for dinner.”
Josh huffed. “I’ll have you know these are a specialty of mine.”
“Mayonnaise and tuna, love. They’re not Michelin-award-worthy ingredients.” She laughed, then demanded, “You can’t already have gone through the stuff I stocked in the freezer for you.”
“Neither of us were very hungry.”
She narrowed her eyes at him, but Luke simply jerked a shoulder. “Nothing affects your appetite. Is there something going on you’re not telling me?”
“I think I’d be pulling my hair out if I had to deal with anything else while handling this appeal, Gia,” Josh retorted, wiping his hands on a paper towel.
She studied him a second, looking for God knew what, but she eventually nodded. “Well, that’s okay, then.”
“Are you going to get some sleep tonight?” Luke asked. “We’re off to bed after these. It’s been a tiring day, and tomorrow is going to be more exhausting.”
“I’m going to sleep as soon as I finish talking to you. Are you back at the appeal?”
He turned to Josh, who nodded. “The boss has spoken. Yes, I am.”
“Best of luck, sweetheart. I’m thinking of you both.” She blew them a kiss, which they both caught and clapped to their chests, a move that had her smiling. “Night, loves.”
Before they could reply, she cut the call, and Josh murmured, “She’s hiding something. And I still don’t get why she’s gone all the way over to Louisiana.”
Luke grumbled, “Stop going on about Lafayette. Maybe it’s always been on her must-visit list.”
“It’s hardly Maui, Luke. Plus, you saw the state of her. She’s exhausted, and it’s not like she’s working. Hell, she’s supposed to be resting.”
Luke couldn’t deny that. She had looked tired. And emotional, now that he came to think of it. Gia wasn’t a crier, not by nature and only in the most extreme of circumstances, but she’d looked close to tears a few times during that conversation.
But then, hell, what were they going through if not the most extreme of circumstances?
Most nights, Luke felt like crying out of a mixture of fatigue, fear, and pain.
He wasn’t the only one allowed to feel wobbly.
“She’s just concerned about the appeal.”
“There’s more to it than that. I’ll be glad when she gets home. I hate not being able to figure out what’s going on with her.”
“You’re reading too much into it.”
“No, I’m not. You know how this works, Luke. I feel it in my gut. Something’s not right.”
“Of course something’s not right,” he snapped. “She’s in another state when she should be with us, here. Nothing’s right at the moment, and it won’t be until she’s home.”
For once, Josh seemed to listen to what he’d said, because after a moment, he concurred, “You’re right. I’m looking for trouble where there is none.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess I’m on edge.”
“We all are. And we’ll keep on being on edge until this fucking appeal is over and done with.”
Josh sighed. “It won’t be long, Luke.”
“Even if it’s another day, it’s too long, Josh. It’s too damned long for all of us.”
For the second time that night, a miracle happened. His husband agreed with him, because he kept his goddamn mouth shut and didn’t contest a word he had to say.