Dear Cheryl,
Did you know it’s possible to have
110% humidity without rain? It’s so hot
I sweat salt through my flak jacket,
which makes it heavier than the usual
6 pounds, 6 ounces.
I had this revelation and slit the bottom
of the nylon shell, ripping out 6 pounds
of Kevlar-type fiber.
My helmet is a steel pot, about 5 pounds.
Peace sign scrawled on one side. I put the
camouflage cover over the lightweight liner,
dumped the pot. Nothing can slow me down;
I got it dicked.
Can you believe Gunther dressed up for Halloween?
Somehow he scrounged a red Santa suit.
No “Ho! Ho! Ho!” though.
He shouted, “Trick or Treat.
Smell my feet.
Give me something good to eat.”
The guy looked like a big, fat,
fur-trimmed blister.
Guess the jungle was fresh out of candy canes,
cuz he passed out grenades, pins straightened
for easy lobbing.
Love, Phil
P.S. Are you seriously considering going to
nursing school after graduation?
You can take my temperature anytime!