6

 

The aroma of thick-cut filets had Ali’s mouth salivating. She glanced at Ryder, standing over the smoking grill with an icy bottle of root beer in one hand, and grinned.

He was a natural.

“I hope you like grilled zucchini.”

“Mmm…if you’re cooking it, I’m sure I will.”

The breeze lifted her hair and caused the sundress she’d slipped into to caress her knees. Strappy, flat sandals crisscrossed over her polished toes. The air was warm as May eased into June, soothing. If the weather held, the lake would be ready for swimming soon.

“You still like to read, Ali?” Ryder poured her a glass of sweet tea.

“I love it when I can find the time.” She took the glass from him. “Which isn’t too often these days.”

“Marry Larder, and you’ll have plenty of time.” Ryder expertly flipped a steak, and it sizzled as it hit the grate on the way down. “A life of leisure.”

“I like my life now.” She sipped the sweet tea he’d garnished with a fat lemon wedge, her gaze fixing on his over the rim of the glass. Her belly fluttered, and for the slightest moment she was back in time, before Josh left them and when being with Ryder felt so right. “I’m not looking for leisure.”

“Sounds like a serious conflict of interest to me.”

“I’m not going to marry him, Ryder.” Ali knew it with certainty. She and John were just too different, and he became more opinionated and demanding with each passing day. “I never even truly considered it, though he’s put some serious pressure on me lately.”

“When are you going to clue him in?”

“I already have.” She twisted a loose thread on her dress, tugged it free. “I didn’t have lunch with him, but I did meet him at the station late this afternoon.”

“How did he take the news?”

“He tried to talk me out of it, of course.” He’d used some unkind words, as well, when he realized the finality of her decision. Daggers that made it much easier to realize she’d done the right thing.

“Guess he needed to verify, right?”

“There’s no need for sarcasm.” Ali leaned against the rail, scanning the outcropping of boulders along the lake. She remembered the exact place where Josh had fallen to his death. She could see the jutted rocks along the bluff clearly in the waning sunlight. “He’ll make someone a good husband. Just not…me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” She sighed. “It simply wasn’t in the plan.”

“And, what is in the plan?”

“I’m not sure yet.” She glanced toward the library, where she’d left the Bible open after studying. “I’m still praying about it.”

“Me, too.” Ryder crossed to the rail to ease in beside her. He smoothed a wisp of hair that had slipped across her eyes. “At least we both have that—a blessing to balance the heartache and uncertainty. The greatest gift Mama gave me was the ability to trust God. I’m trusting Him now, Ali. Are you?”

“Though at times it’s been a challenge, I’ve never stopped trusting Him.” She took Ryder’s hand. “I trust Him now with this…with us.”

 

****

 

“Walk with me?” Ryder asked when they’d finished dinner and a heated game of Scrabble, which he’d won by two points in the final round. “It will give you time to think of all the words you might have used to beat me, instead of losing.”

“Well, aren’t you the gracious champion.” Alison’s nose scrunched as she frowned. “I guess I’ll be washing your truck tomorrow.”

“And I’ll pull up a lawn chair to watch.” Ryder grinned. “It ought to be quite the show.”

“You’re incorrigible. Mama Stallings was right.”

“She did her best trying to reform me.” Ryder sidestepped as Ali swatted playfully. “So did the military. I guess I’m just beyond retribution.”

“Oh, Ryder, you’re not as tough as you think you are…at least not like that.” Ali twined her fingers with his as they started down the deck stairs. Moonlight spilled across the darkness, casting a glow over the lake. Water rippled beneath the slightest breeze, shimmering like a platoon of fireflies as it ebbed and crested. “I know you wouldn’t hurt a fly unless you absolutely had to.”

“The tough guy act doesn’t impress you, huh?”

“Never has.” Her lips curled into a smile and her green eyes laughed. “I saw the way you played with Josh, dried his tears when the other kids were mean to him. Your big heart and gentleness are just a few of the reasons I fell in love with you.”

“They are?” He stumbled over the words, shocked by the effect they had on him. Josh couldn’t help he was born with Down syndrome. Ryder certainly knew what it felt like to be dealt a challenging hand. Though separated in age by nearly a decade, he and Josh had shared a special bond from the start. “Gentleness…but there were times, in the military—”

“It’s OK.” Ali pressed an index finger to his lips. “You don’t have to tell me…unless you want to.”

“No.” His free hand splayed over his thigh. There was no point in reliving it, or in leaving Ali with such intense images. She had enough on her plate. “I’m done with that chapter of my life, as least as far as active duty goes. I’ve remained in the reserves—one weekend a month, two full weeks a year. Of course, if a situation warrants, I suppose I can be called up again at any time. I can’t promise that will never happen. Can you handle that, Ali?”

“I suppose I could learn to.” She paused to press a warm palm to his cheek, her gaze steady on his. Clouds slipped over the moon, veiling the light as a bull frog serenaded in the distance and crickets found their rhythm. “I’m proud of you, Ryder.”

“Oh, Ali…” His throat thickened. Her words were an arrow that pierced straight to his heart. “The whole time I was overseas, all I could think about was you—what you were doing, if your heart was still breaking for Josh…if you could ever forgive me for what happened that day—and everything after.”

“Yes.”

“Yes, what?”

“Yes, my heart still breaks a little every once in a while.” She pressed her cheek to his T-shirt and smoothed a hand down his back. The scent of her perfume carried on the gentle breeze. “I miss him, Ryder. I suppose you do, too.”

“I do.”

“I know now that leaving was the only way you could return whole.” She pulled back, her eyes shimmering like precious emeralds. “I’m just so sorry about Mama Stallings, that you didn’t have more time.”

“The time we did have was good. She was so kind to me, Ali. She always knew just what to say. I still hear her voice running through my head.”

“I know.”

“After my mom left…all those years. And with my dad…” He shook his head, unable to find the words. “I couldn’t even bring myself to cry when he died. But the other day, at the memorial…” He’d lost it, and Ali had witnessed his tears.

“It was so hard for you.” She smoothed hair from the collar of his shirt. “No one should be dealt such a hand, especially as a child.”

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes.” Ryder turned to walk along the water’s edge. “I’ve hurt you, honey. I can’t take that back.”

“I’m not asking you to.” She fell in step alongside him. “I hurt you, too. I should have talked to you after the accident, let you know what I was feeling. It was unfair to shut you out—to keep you guessing about what was going on inside my heart. Maybe you wouldn’t have left. Maybe things would have turned out differently between us. Maybe—”

“No more maybes.” He paused and drew her back, easing her close once more as the darkness enfolded them. “I’ve missed you so much. Let me kiss you, Ali.”

She tilted her chin, closed her eyes and offered her lips. “Ryder…” The tremor in her voice mirrored his longing.

Light suddenly cut through the night, flashing across the water. An engine rumbled as a car made its way up the drive toward the inn.

“That would be the guests.” Ali slipped a palm over his cheek, and he felt the steady throb of her pulse. “They’ll be waiting on me. I need to get back.”

Ryder groaned. Though it took every ounce of his restraint, he loosened his hold on her and stepped back. He skimmed his fingers over her shoulder. “We’ll finish this later.”