Chapter 16

The clock on the wall ticks off seconds. A car passes. My neighbor chats on the phone as she walks to her front door. The sound of her voice startles me. The wind rustles leaves in nearby trees.

Anger is a temporary—and very damaging—emotion. I can choose to hold it and let it devour me or release it to the wind. Right now I want to hold it and nurture it. I want to use it against Collin Leary for his selfishness. But neither of us would win. In that instance, we would all be consumed and I would be the foolish one. Selfish and dead.

Collin is right. My weakness is their strength. I need at least one more night to grow stronger and to plan. The fight will be greater than any other I’ve known. I’ll have to wait for the right moment. Strategize for an angel, not a demon. They fight differently. The demon is secondary. My main focus will be the ones in the shadows.

First, I’ll go to work, find out if Sarah is truly one of them. If she is, the strategy will differ. She knows me better than any other rogue. Doesn’t matter who the others are. It only matters what she does.

“Jaime.” Collin stands beside me now. He reaches, hesitantly, for my shoulder, but I don’t strike at him or pull away this time. “Deny it now. It’s the only way.” He can see the determination in my eyes. Too bad he can’t read me as easily as he thinks. At least not tonight. Right now he can’t read me at all, I’m so closed off.

“If I could deny it for you, I would. If I could kill myself, I’d be dead by now. But you know that’s not possible. Don’t take this on by yourself. I brought this on both our heads and I have to redeem it for you.”

His eyes reflect the soul of a beaten man. There’s also a stubbornness reflected in me. I’m confident he won’t take ‘no’ for an answer. That’s why I have to execute my plan before he can stop me.

“Why’re you waiting, Jaime? Decline the ordinance.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Just say it out loud.”

“I can’t deny what I’ve already accepted. I accept the ordinance to covenant with you.”

“No!”

“It’s too late, Collin. You’re stuck with me for an eternity.”

He immediately stumbles backward at my resolution, reaching for the breakfast bar to steady his weakened body. My own strength is fading as well, as I practically fall to the floor.

“Jaime. It’s your acceptance of the marital bond. Damn it! Until we consummate, our strength will be lost.”

I hadn’t realized how powerful the covenant would be. Mother never told me about the debilitating effect of this covenant. Why wouldn’t she feel it vitally important to for me to know?

We’re not finished. Until we complete the circle, we’ll both be more vulnerable than ever. Had the rogues foreseen this? Did they know I could take the vow and wouldn’t be able to finish due to my anger, or my past? Did they plan this back when I was only fifteen? Hoping I would react like a frightened victim, too traumatized to consummate my marriage? If we go to sleep before completion, they’ll have us. What have I done?

The idea of them tearing him to pieces while I watch is more than I want to imagine, angry or not. What could they show him more frightening than that? I now know he could care less what they do to him. What do they have planned for me? What could be worse than what I’ve already endured?

Collin must sense my fear. “No. They won’t win. I won’t let them touch you.”

His words give minor consolation. In his weakened state he won’t be able to stop them. He wouldn’t even be able to hold off a demon. Will they make him watch as they torture me? Make his last moments horrific as well? My heart begins to race.

“Jaime. Stop. Don’t think about it. That’s what they want. Fear can’t control your thoughts now or they win. They’ve underestimated your strength. Focus on that.”

The truth of his words aren’t lost on me, but my heart won’t slow. I try taking deep breaths, but it’s not helping. Inhaling deeply once more, I close my eyes.

Once again, I focus on the clock as it ticks off the seconds. The motor on the freezer kicks in with a subtle gasp. The wind is still ruffling leaves in my yard. A lemon scented candle sits unlit on a nearby shelf. The musky smell of the moors of Ireland soon overpowers the sweet smelling wax. And in that sweet and bitter moment, there’s nothing that captures my attention other than Collin, his scent, his sound and the feel of his passion for me.

The aroma I noticed the first time we met, his lips brushing my cheek as he whispered in my ear, the roll of his words in the back of his throat, all drew me toward him. I wanted him from that moment. But I held back, fearing my past, also knowing an angel shouldn’t covenant with a mortal for the very reasons I enunciated to Rick. Had I only known Collin was far from ordinary.

When I search his face now, I notice his deep green eyes studying mine. His scent is drawing me, calling me. Those eyes stir my desire. I want to touch his skin, explore his flesh again, allow him to discover mine. Will we have the strength?

When he moves toward me, I close the gap between us, my hand slipping over his shoulder, the other sliding across his chest. Reaching for my shirt, he pulls it over my head and my hair flows past the middle of my back, tickling the skin above my pants. His fingers glide up my forearms, biceps and shoulders before drifting down my sternum to the center of my belly. His eyes stare into mine with constrained desire. I can feel that he’s fighting the urge to play with me like a wild cat with his prey. The longing he sees in me makes it difficult to hold back.

He runs his fingers along the waistline of my jeans before hesitating over the top button. The quaking of his body has a weakening effect. Like a nervous teenager, he can’t open the buttons. I reach down to release it and then slide them over my hips. He kisses my lips before moving around to my back, lifting my hair to lay it over my shoulder. His fingers lightly caress my arms as he kisses the nape of my neck. My breathing is labored, my hands are trembling and a fire is igniting between my thighs.

His hands slide down to the middle of my back and the tension of my bra is released, making me startle. He holds me tightly until my trembling subsides, laying gentle kisses on my brow until I’m ready to proceed. His fingers slowly rise to my shoulders again and slip the straps down my arms as he kisses and nips at my flesh.

My eyes are closed so I can’t see a thing. No more can I hear the clock ticking or the wind in the trees. The lone sound is my heart beating in my ears and Collin breathing heavily as he slowly touches my body. The smell of Ireland excites my senses and makes me long for a home I don’t remember.

Collin’s hands slip around my hips, appreciating my lacy boy-shorts, the sole piece of clothing left on my body. His hands rise up my ribcage and my breath catches when they cup around my breasts. He pulls my back into his chest with my buttocks pressed against his groin and I feel the anxiety he keeps under control. When he tugs at the lower lace of my shorts, they slip down my legs to the floor at my feet.

Clinging tightly to me, he lowers to his knees and I go with him, his legs straddling mine. He holds his breath, reaching around and taking me the rest of the way to the floor. While the heat of my back is cooled by the ceramic tiles, he hovers over me, staring into my eyes as his hands move, barely touching, tickling my body. When his fingers reach my breasts he hesitates then grasps them firmly. The air catches in my throat as he kneads and rolls the flesh, admiring them as if playing a fine instrument. One of his hands trails down the center of my abdomen, leaving my skin burning where he traces. Reaching my groin, his palm lays flat and his finger slips gently between the soft flesh at the summit of my thighs. Still watching me, he delicately strokes, each pass penetrating deeper until reaching that tender pearl that shoots pleasure through my groin. My fingers reflexively curl into a fist and my back arches under his touch. Oh, my God, I can’t hold back.

My hand reaches for his and slides his finger deeper into me as the muscles begin to contract. The groan in the back of his throat tells me he’s barely able to hold on and he covers my mouth with his. As his lips hungrily consume me, both his hands glide over my hips to my behind. When his lips release me once again, I moan in disapproval, but his eyes never leave mine and I’m sedated by his hungry glare. Drops of sweat trickle down my tummy and over my sides, distracting me momentarily from the hands drifting to the backs of my knees. He tugs gently upward, folding my legs until my feet are flat on the cool floor. He separates them to kneel between my ankles and his mouth lowers to my throat.

My breathing grows heavy as he trails his lips over my collar bone to my breast, sucking and teasing with his tongue. My fingers weave through his hair, curling into a fist, and pulling his mouth into me. The tender skin fills his mouth as he sucks and grazes my flesh while his fingers discover my other breast and nipple. Soon, his mouth loosens its hold on me and slinks up my nipple, lightly sucking and tugging then kissing and nipping. Releasing my damp skin to cool in the air, his tongue slithers slowly and longingly to the mound of flesh at the top of my thighs. Again, his eyes turn to mine, flashing the yearning he barely contains. His fingers tremble as he spreads my thighs wider, lowering his head. The silky caress of his tongue through the creased flesh forces my muscles to contract and my back to arch again. His eyes raise instantly to mine, nearly glowing in the darkened room. I pant with desire.

Crawling carefully up my body until his lips find mine and his erection presses into my groin, he reaches between his legs and centers himself at the moist aperture. My body shudders in fear and anticipation.

“Collin,” I gasp, my body quivering.

He places his fingertip on my lips and traces them slowly. Apprehension and fierce longing betray him with an unsteady touch. I take a deep breath the moment his lips fall over mine. His body covers me as his hands hold the sides of my head and my fingers clutch his shoulders. A rush of pain and excitement tells me he’s entered me as he takes a shuddered breath and pushes deeper inside. My nails dig into his shoulders forcing a moan from his throat. The feel of this man gliding snuggly toward my core brings the voracity of my passion to the surface, the pain and passion driving the hunter in me. The desire is so deep I only want to devour him.

While his body moves with mine, I feel another, stronger rise making me cry out in ecstasy. Pulling deep inside, this time he releases with me, cradling my head in his palms and staring into my eyes, his lust feeding my soul until we can move no more. When we’re finished, I lay still in his arms, naked and vulnerable on my kitchen floor, with tears flooding my cheeks and Collin kissing my wet face, telling me he loves me. We’re now joined, but my heart still aches for the loss of my family, the ones torn from my life by the man lying beside me. In this moment, the moment of our joining, I try my best to forgive him.

Feeling my desire still burning in spite of my tears, Collin gathers me in his arms and carries me to the bedroom where we continue exploring each other. His prideful nature humbles beneath my touch and I find myself aching to take advantage. I assume the huntress position over him this time, my mouth and tongue discovering him, coaxing him to the summit then driving him over the peak. Moments later, I allow him to take me again, and we continue in this way, making love throughout the evening, strengthening our bond, forcing me to love him deeper and crave him even more. Our new union puts a protective shield around us for the night, unable to be penetrated by dreams or demons, even rogue angels, while we rest for the final battle.