Chapter Five

Jen

 

Ding!

Ding!

Who’s ringing a bell?

Ding!

Let me sleeeeeep…

Ding!

Ding!

“Babe. Phone.” Who was blowing up his texts at 9:00AM?

I flailed behind me to tap solid matter.

Ding!

“Hey.”

Dylan gasped and the bed moved. “What’s wrong?”

Ding! Ding!

“Shit. Sorry.” He rolled off, grabbed his phone from his nightstand, and left the room, closing the door behind him.

At least every rock star worth his salt had blackout curtains to accommodate their erratic schedule, so no morning light came through the window. I’d fallen asleep somewhere between five and six and I didn’t want to surface any time soon.

Incubating was tiring work even when I didn’t have insomnia.

Then my ringtone sounded. Oh God…

I flailed to grab my phone, unplugging it from the charger in the process. “Hello?” I mumbled.

“Jennifer.”

“Mom!” She knew. Somehow she knew already at nine in the morning.

“You’re pregnant?”

I shrunk under the covers. “Yeah?”

“Details now, please.” Her voice was deceptively calm in that way that made every kid dread the coming punishment.

Fortitude, Jen. “I’m beginning my third month. I found out right before Dylan proposed. He was not supposed to do what he did last night.”

“Honey, why didn’t you tell me?” Did she sound hurt now? Shit.

“I was waiting until four months to tell anyone.”

“Have you seen a doctor?”

“Yeah. Healthy so far.”

Then she gasped. “Have you been shoveling snow pregnant?”

“Mom, the doc said I can do anything I did before, and we’ve had no snow, yet.”

“I don’t like the thought of you alone on that mountain while you’re carrying my grandchild. Where are you?”

“Dylan’s apartment. I was backstage at his concert last night.”

“Is the baby why you got engaged?”

“No. He proposed before I told him.”

“Well at least there’s that…”

I muffled a groan into my pillow. “Now you’re up to speed. I’ll see you for Christmas!”

And hung up like a coward.

I threw back the covers and Dylan was leaning in the doorway. That torso and those arms were exactly why I was in this predicament now. I sat up and had to pee.

“Sorry about my phone waking you,” he said. “People congratulating us. Mostly.”

I crossed into the bathroom. “Mostly?”

“Lynn says some press want more details.”

Of course they do. I did what I needed to, flushed, then began my morning routine at the sink. No getting back to sleep now.

My phone rang again.

“Want me to get that?”

“Nope!”

“Decaf coffee is brewing.”

I sniffed the air and bleh. “No thanks.”

I exited the bathroom with my robe on. He’d added a pair of jeans and was tugging a long-sleeved tee over his head. I checked the missed call. Mom’s number, as I suspected.

“Hungry?”

“I’ll figure it out,” I mumbled. Morning sickness hadn’t arrived, yet, but various things smelled awful to me now and would put off my appetite. Recently, I’d been starting most days with toast until I felt hungry.

He poured coffee into a literary quote mug. We both loved books, though instead of shelves, he stacked them on the floor in the corner of his bedroom. Peppermint creamer went in the mug next. At least mint didn’t bother me—yet.

His kitchen didn’t have a toaster, so I had to heat bread in a pan. He used to tour so much, this place was minimal-chic, with more guitars than furniture.

My cabin was cozy!

“Do you want to discuss last night?” he asked, leaning against the countertop out of my way.

“Not yet.” I needed to eat and take my pregnancy vitamin before another fight.

“If you’re going to be mad all day, give me a head’s up and you can have your space.”

I set the first lightly-golden piece of toast on a plate, sighed, and turned to him. “Really?”

He set the mug on the counter. “I don’t want to argue, so yeah.”

“So all of this—” gesturing between us “—is my fault?”

He lifted his hands in surrender. “Whoa. Not what I—”

“I didn’t do anything I need to apologize for.” Done with this nonsense, I stormed into the bedroom, slamming the door, and sought out my nearest clean change of clothes.

Dylan opened the door when I was hooking my bra. “Where are you going?”

“Out!” I wrestled a sweater over my head, then shook out my jeans to get my legs in them.

“Jen…”

The waistband was a little tight. This pair must’ve shrunk when I washed them. Button through the hole, then I looked up at him. “Give back my shoes.”

He held the only ones I had here. “No.”

I rushed him and he held them over his head. “Give them back!” I wasn’t short, but he still managed to keep them out of reach with his arm fully extended.

His free arm banded around my waist, pinning me to him. “No. I didn’t mean to make you mad this morning. I was trying to feel you out so I knew whether we were going to talk now or later because we won’t solve any of this with a fight.”

I glared at him. “Figure out better words.”

“I’ll try. But I don’t think in Microsoft Word.”

Rolled my eyes, stopped struggling against his grip, and he handed me my shoes. I sat on the bed to put them on and regretted fastening my jeans first. But I wouldn’t let him see it.

“Eat, okay? I’ll leave you alone.”

Dylan left the bedroom. I soon heard the faint plucking of a guitar from the direction of the balcony, and sighed. Running on three-ish hours of sleep, maybe I wasn’t the most reasonable this morning, and without somewhere I had to be…eat the toast and go back to bed.

Try consciousness later.

At this point, I was too tired to care that the bread had cooled and just smeared it with jam to get it down with a sip of water and my vitamin. I didn’t recognize the tune he strummed, but he often picked at random notes when he sat and wanted his hands busy. He was trying to play it cool this morning, but if he was truly relaxed, he’d be reading, instead.

My gaze tracked around the apartment while I chewed. There wasn’t much of him here. Yeah, he’d traveled a lot the past decade, but still. The minimalist thing didn’t fit. Did that mean his parents’ place was more personal? I should’ve asked to see it.

We’d been us for…

Well, we started either being here or my house, and if we were near a bed, it was usually where we ended up in short order, so there was never a natural moment to go somewhere else.

And honestly…I loved Dylan, but I didn’t know we were super serious until I got knocked up and he proposed. After everything Lee put me through, I wasn’t in a rush with another relationship. Dylan was good for my self-esteem, to heal, and he was fun. If there wasn’t a baby and a ring, I would’ve probably been happy staying at the pace we’d been going.

No wonder his recent actions had thrown me for a loop.

Now, what to do about it?

I cleaned up the crumbs, then returned to the bedroom to change. Getting the snug jeans off felt awesome. Would I want to spend this whole pregnancy in flannel pajamas?

I stood sideways in front of the big bathroom mirror. Huh. Maybe my abs were less flat than a week ago. My hand went to that tiny curve. “Mom and Dad need to figure shit out, don’t they?” I whispered.

This part, I didn’t regret, and wouldn’t. Whatever Dylan and I did, I was grateful to get the chance to be a mother. Fatigue made it difficult to stand with good posture. Ugh. A tired mother. I put on the soft PJs, then paused at the bed. Crawl in, or say something to him first?

Love won.

He opened his eyes when I moved the slider, his brows rising.

“I’m going back to bed, but—” I kissed him. “—I’m sorry for this morning. I didn’t sleep much and—”

The guitar was set aside. He pulled my hips toward him, bringing me close enough to hug. “It’s okay. Taking care of yourself for the baby comes first.” He kissed my belly, something he’d done a lot since I told him I was pregnant.

“I love you.” Caressing his messy hair, I added, “I might not say it enough when I’m stressed, but I do.”

He smiled up at me, the one with warmth that made me feel special and rare. “I love you, too. Look…it’s not just you. I could’ve handled a few things better lately.”

“A surprise baby probably entitles us to freak out a little.”

“Do you want company?”

“I’m going to zonk out as soon as I’m horizontal.”

He grinned. “Not what I asked.”

I slipped my hand into his and we went inside. He set the guitar on the sofa on the way by. The bedroom was still nice and dim, so I knew once I got comfortable I’d pass out, even if cuddling wasn’t only what he had in mind. But it was nice in winter to fall asleep in someone’s arms and his were really good ones.

Dylan kissed my forehead. “Lay down how you want, then I’ll join you.”

I smiled. Normally, I would’ve snuggled him in any position, but the pregnancy was already changing my comfort. I loved him for paying attention to that.

I got cozy on my side. He spooned my back, his hand on my belly-to-be. Tension left me for the first time in hours.

“If you’re hungry when you wake up, I’ll take you to breakfast,” he murmured.

“Even if the sun’s going down?”

He nuzzled my hair. “Even if the sky is full of stars.”