Change of Plans
"I can make her disappear, ya know?” Malek says calmly. The menacing tone in his voice is hard to ignore, and I roll my eyes at him.
He’s referring to Summer, who’s sitting with her friends at an adjacent table at the café. Malek has been talk-talk-talking away, and I guess I must have been staring at her something hard. I had been waiting for Jake when Malek made his usual grand appearance. I’ve been ignoring what he’s been saying, for the most part, but his insinuation of doing something to Summer is too much for me to disregard.
“And what would make you think that I would want that?” I say.
“Your jealousy is bleeding through your aura. I was offering a suggestion, Sunshine. Because, you know, I still have most of my power, and it would be a rather easy job to handle.”
Most of his power? Kind of unfair that he’s able to retain any of his power, when all of my angel abilities have been stripped away. But he said “most,” implying that he has more. Maybe his human body is not capable of handling it all. Or, maybe he’s lying to me, which I wouldn’t put past him. “That is the craziest thing I’ve ever heard! And I’m not jealous of her!” I snap at him.
“Is it, though? It would solve a lot of your problems if Miss Summer took a fall, or had an accident, or took one too many pills.”
“Stop talking like that. As a matter of fact, stop talking. I’m doing fine on my own, thank you very much.”
He moves his hand thoughtfully to rub his chin. “Ah, yes, you are, aren’t you,” he agrees. “Causing quite a stir with the higher-ups. You didn’t even use my…”
I dig through my backpack. “Yeah, about that,” I interrupt, “take this back. It’s useless to me, and I don’t want it. I don’t know why I let you give it to me in the first place, but I don’t need it, so here.” I slide the brown pouch across the table.
He chuckles softly. “Oh, Aestra, you know I can’t take your family heirloom. It’s yours.” He slides it back to me. It belongs to you; it always has. And it would deeply hurt my feelings if you gave back a gift, I mean I made it, especially for you, you know,” he whispers.
“No really, I…”
“I can’t take it back.” His voice sounds deeper, more serious. “It’s yours. It will always be yours. Whether you use it or not.”
I give up. Why I continue this conversation is beyond me. I think the human Aestra is starting to mistake his attention for some kind of strange friendship; the human Aestra is drawn to him and comforted by him. The angel Aestra is screaming on the inside to run far away from him, but there’s this irresistible “moth-to-the-fire” sensation that swells inside me whenever Malek is around. “Ya know, I’m not even supposed to be talking to you,” I finally say after some silence.
He looks around the room with a sarcastic grin. “But yet, here we are.” He’s right, and the smile on his face lets me know that he knows it. “It’s a double-edged sword, isn’t it?” he says.
I’m frustrated and wish that Jake would get here soon. There’s a set pattern with Jake and Malek: when Jake arrives, Malek vanishes. When Jake isn’t around, Malek appears. I feel like it’s a vicious cycle of good and evil between the two most important men in my life. Like, I have to save the good, Jake, obviously, and vanquish the evil, Malek, of course. “What in the world are you talking about now?” I ask with an exasperated huff.
“You know what I mean, Aestra. Your superiors—your beloved Camael, good old Ruthie, they all tell you to ‘Get the job done!’ and pat you on the back and say ‘Go get ’em, tigress’ and ‘Do everything you can to set that boy on the straight and narrow.’ And wouldn’t you know, the very moment, the very instant,” he snaps his fingers, “you reach the climax of the story where you muster up the courage to actually get the job done, they tell you you’re wrong. They tell you you’re not doing it the right way. They put restrictions and limitations on you. As if you don’t have enough restrictions holding you back. And they call that guidance? They call that purpose? Ya know what I call that? I call that entrapment. I call that a classic bait-and-switch! It’s almost as if they’re setting you up for failure. Haven’t you thought about that?”
I don’t answer him, but yes, those thoughts have crossed my mind. And not just my human mind…
“The one I work for, Aestra, the one that I serve, my Lord and Master, he would never be as cruel and deceptive as that. With him, you always know the expectations. With him, you always know the truth.”
“Truth?” I say, nearly choking on my coffee. “How can you speak of truth when all that you speak of is nothing but lies and deceptions?”
His face contorts. “Have I ever lied to you, Aestra? Have I ever told you something that turned out to be false? Maybe when the truth is right in front of you, maybe when it’s so strong and so ‘in your face,’ you look beyond that truth and twist it to your own liking, thus creating your own lies.”
I don’t have a chance to respond because Jake arrives. Finally! He sits next to me in the booth, and I put the brown pouch back into my bag.
“Think about what I said,” Malek says before leaving.
I brush my hair from my eyes. “Will do,” I say.
“What was all that about?” Jake asks when Malek’s out of earshot.
“Nothing,” I lie. “He’s such a pain in the ass.”
Jake laughs. “I think he’s trying to kick it to as many girls in the school as he can!” And we both look over to where Malek ended up, and sure enough, it’s a table filled with girls from school all giggly and bubbly and fawning all over him. I smile and shake my head dismissively.
I think it odd that Jake sat next to me when he normally sits across from me, but he pulls out his slim-line laptop from his backpack and sets it up on the table. “I wanna show you what I have so far with the project. The PowerPoint is pretty much done; it just needs some cutesy graphics and animations, and…”
“That’s where I come in,” I answer as the file loads up.
He starts clicking each slide, one after the other. “You got it,” he says. “The research that we both did is all there, but it needs something…”
“Extra.”
“Exactly.”
I scan through each slide, glossing over the information. It looks very comprehensive. The material flows with a good progression, not only highlighting the important poets from each time period but also giving a quick background on world events that served as an influence on the development and evolution of the genre. He is right, though, the presentation is a bit bland, and I know he didn’t want to come out and say it in so many words, but it desperately needs a woman’s touch.
“I’ll play with it,” I say. “Spruce it up, make it look appealing to the masses.”
“Great,” he says as he turns toward me.
We’re looking into each other’s eyes, and I am dizzy as if the world has stopped spinning and only my body is in perpetual motion. It’s like our souls are speaking to one another in their own language. I’m going to get lost here if I don’t say something. “I got coffee for you,” the words come to my lips and out of my mouth, but they’re unintelligible to my ears.
“Thank you,” he replies, letting me know that he heard those words, but he never once looks at the table or the cup in front of him. He’s looking at me, scanning my face, studying my features. We’re locked in our gaze. He raises his eyebrows as if to say “Well, what’s next?” and I raise mine in response, nervously biting my lower lip. My body is screaming for his mouth to touch mine with his magical kiss, and suddenly, it’s as if all the energy in my body rushes out of me. I am weak and numb with anticipation.
“Whatcha doing?” the baby voice says, breaking into the moment.
I look up to see Summer.
“Hey,” Jake says, fidgeting.
There’s a glint of worry in her eyes, but she hides her emotions well with a smile. “Oh,” she says, “let me guess. Project.”
Jake and I both nod our heads. I take a sip of coffee to prevent her from reading anything on my face. She sits down in the exact spot Malek occupied a few minutes prior. Two enemies, I think uncontrollably. “Can I see?” she asks.
“No!” Jake and I say simultaneously. We look at each other and smile. Summer’s face darkens.
“Uh-huh,” she huffs, “well, excuuuuse me!” She’s trying to lighten the mood, but I can tell she’s not happy, suspicious even. “Well, babe,” she continues, “pass that laptop my way!” She reaches across the table and turns the screen toward her. Her fingers furiously tap the keyboard, and she abruptly stops, waiting for a website to load up. “I wanna show you this great little hostel I found in Vienna. We can have a private room with a view of the courtyard, and Vic could be down the hall. Each room has its own kitchen, and it’s in walking distance to downtown.” She turns the screen to show Jake, and there it is—a bright and clean hostel with all the amenities a hostel could ever offer. “The price is great, too,” she beams.
“Yeah, about Europe,” he says slowly. I tense up, unable to move, and I watch Summer’s sunny face drop slightly when she picks up on Jake’s foreboding tone.
“What about it?” she asks with a serious tone.
“I gotta tell you, Summer, I’m not gonna be able to go.”
She drums her nails on the tabletop. “What do you mean? We’ve been planning this for forever!” she roars.
“Look, I thought about it,” he begins to explain, but he struggles for the right words. Underneath the table, I squeeze his knee, letting him know he’s doing the right thing, that he’s made the right choice. He drops his head and gives me an inconspicuous sideways glance before continuing. “I can’t do an entire year. They won’t hold my scholarship. If you shortened the trip, or postponed until winter break next year, then maybe I could…”
Summer’s head is wildly shaking from side to side. “No! No! No! That’s not the plan, Jake. I had to make sacrifices to make this trip happen too, ya know. My job was generous enough to hold my position for the time I’ll be away!”
He huffs. “Sum, there’s a big difference between your job at the nail salon and my full ride to NYU.”
I can’t help but smirk. Unfortunately, Summer notices. “Oh,” she says, sucking in her anger. “It’s got something to do with her, doesn’t it?” She points her perfectly manicured finger at me.
Jake and I exchange glances. “No, no,” he says, “it’s about the money… my scholarship. Europe will always be there, Sum. I can go before school starts in the fall. I can even meet you overseas when I’m on break.”
“It won’t be the same,” she says, tears welling in her eyes, but they’re not tears of sadness, they’re tears of anger, and maybe something else… jealousy?
“Summer, I…” he starts.
“It’s fine. Really. It’s fine,” she says, wiping the edges of her eyes, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Vic and I will have to come up with another plan. Go off and get your learn on. Get that big bad English degree. Go off and teach some snot-nosed kids, ’cause what do you do with an English degree, anyway? Certainly, you don’t get to see the sights of Europe, now do you?” And she walks away.
My hand tightens on his knee. He places his hand over mine and squeezes back.
I took Jake’s laptop to the library after school so that I could put the finishing touches on the project in a quiet environment. Of course, home is a quiet environment, but I didn’t want to see Aunt Ruth and have a theological conversation. That would have completely distracted me from the work that had to get done, and with Friday being our due date, I want this project to finally be over with. Not that many kids stay after school, and even fewer hang out in the library, so I felt like I was utterly alone for once. I had even toyed with using the amulet so Camael couldn’t spy on me, but I decided against it. That would have been spiteful of me, and I didn’t want to upset him any more than I already have, but the thought did amuse me when it entered my mind.
I hit the save button, close up the computer, and stick it in my backpack. The clock now reads 7:30 p.m. It’s already dark outside, and I look forward to the nighttime stroll back to the brownstone. When I called Aunt Ruth earlier, she offered to pick me up, but I declined, opting for the chill of the walk to settle into my bones.
And it is chilly! It is rounding early March, and there are still no signs of spring on the horizon. It figures… the one time I get to experience Earth and the Creator’s ultimate design, it would have to be during the hard-packed cold of winter. I’m not complaining. It’s rather fitting. I’m able to see first-hand the coldness that lies in some humans’ hearts… lovelessness, greed, anger, and jealousy. And to think the Creator loves them all, flaws and all, sins and all. He forgives, and forgets, and loves unconditionally. They weren’t kidding when they said that humankind was his most complex creation ever!
I scarcely notice the car creeping up slowly next to me, but when I turn my head, I realize it’s not just any car… it’s Summer’s red Range Rover, and it’s starting to rain.
The car speeds up and pulls to the curb a few inches ahead of me. The window of the front passenger side slides down with an electric hum, and when I catch up to it with my normal walking pace, Summer leans over the passenger seat. I can’t tell if there’s anyone else in the car. “Hi, Aestra!” She sings my name, but there’s a hint of underlying venom laced in her song.
“Oh, hey, Summer,” I say with a small wave as I continue walking forward.
She rolls the car up to meet me. “Hey, it’s starting to rain. Do you want a ride home or something?”
Or something?
“Nope. I’m good, thanks.”
“You sure?” she asks, but it sounds as if she hesitated for a second. “I mean, I… I’m going your way, and…”
Just then the back door bursts open. Summer sharply pulls the Range Rover to the curb and slams on the brakes. The wheels screech underneath the now slick asphalt. Vic gets out from the backseat and tilts his thick neck to one side. His neck cracks with a sickening sound, and he interlocks his fingers to crack them as well.
“What’s your problem?” he asks me, as he comes toward me.
I try to walk calmly away from him, but I’m frozen with fear. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Vic.”
He walks at an angle and backs me against the Range Rover. If my heart doesn’t stop beating so fast, I’ll probably have a heart attack. “You’re seriously not gonna play dumb with me, are you?”
Run, stupid! Run! I yell at myself from the inside, but there’s no response from my legs.
“You think you can come to our school, materialize from out of nowhere, and go messing with our lives?”
“What are you…?” I stammer, afraid.
He puts both arms against the side of the car, boxing me in. Tears rise in my eyes. “Listen,” he says, “let’s not play dumb, okay?” He leans his wide face closer to mine. There’s a smoky scent to his breath, and I tilt my head to the side to avoid another whiff of it. “We all know you got a thing for my boy, Jake. But I don’t think anyone gave you the memo that Jake is off-limits!”
Another car door opens, and Summer makes her way to the sidewalk. She pushes Vic’s arm aside, and he steps back. She gets up in my face—her eyes are swollen and red from previous tears, and there’s a mad-dog snarl painted on her nose and mouth. “Stay the hell away from him, bitch!” she growls under her breath. I try to back up, but there’s nowhere for me to go.
“Summer…” I begin, trying to understand, trying to reason with her.
“Don’t even try to defend yourself! Your buddy Forcas told me everything—your little trip to the city, your little kiss on the dock. I swear, if I see you even look Jake’s way again, I think I will have to kill you!”
There’s no talking to her. No reasoning. No trying to make her understand. She’s on the edge; her fierce instinct to protect what she thinks is hers is emerging in full-force. “I don’t know what Malek told you,” I say, “but if you let me explain to you…”
She laughs, and in the street light, I can see more tears streaming down her face. “Explain? Isn’t she funny, Vic. She wants to explain why she’s hooking up with my boyfriend!”
“Summer, it’s not like…”
I see a crack of light before I feel the sting on my face, and my hand instinctively goes up to my cheek. It’s wet, and I can’t tell if I’m bleeding or if it’s the steady rain that is descending upon us. I twist my head to block, anticipating another punch, but none comes. As the ringing sound in my ear fades away, the noises of the city street start to come back into earshot, coupled with the continuous laughter from Vic and Summer.
Something comes over me. I don’t know what this feeling is. Rage? Anger? Hatred? It bubbles in the pit of my stomach and radiates throughout my whole body, swelling against the pulsating sensations in my quickly bruising face. It’s the feeling that I had that night in The Observatory when Revalia and Lozhure teamed up on me, and I felt lost and helpless in my angelic nature, but now I see red. I see red. I see red.
I see red…
And I’m on top of Summer before I even realize what I’ve done. I can’t see her face through the red veil that has overcome my vision. Her head thuds against the concrete as I mash my elbow against the side of her nose; the bone crunches under my weight. I don’t have enough time to do any more damage because, in a flash, Vic grabs me from behind and slams me against the car.
“Are you fucking crazy!?” he screams in my face before crashing his open hand across my mouth.
He’s all over me, snarling in my ear, pulling my hair back, exposing my neck. He lifts me easily off the ground by my shoulders and slams me into the side of the car again. The bones in my back crack from the force. He unzips my jacket, and his hands go up my shirt. He is groping me, touching me, tearing at my clothes, grabbing at my every body part. I raise my arms in defense, trying to push him away, but it’s no use, he overpowers me. He takes his knee and jabs me between the legs, which causes him to laugh in my ear. He takes his knee again and forces it into my stomach. The wind is knocked out of me, he lets go, and I crumple to the gutter. He walks over to Summer, who’s sitting up on the sidewalk. He helps her up and into the car, shoving her in the backseat. He gets in the driver’s side and pulls away, leaving me in the gutter, leaving me in the rain.