Chapter Twenty-two

Bling Bots in the cargo hold

Harvey and the crew watched through the cargo webcam as the Bling Bots appeared in the hold. Harvey counted about eight or nine of them. Before their wobbly forms had even finished transporting, their claws clacked excitedly at each other as they fought to get to the valuable cargo first.

‘My Techno-tium!’ groaned Scrummage with his balding head in his hands.

‘Don’t worry, Scrummage,’ said Harvey, slapping him on the back. ‘I have a plan.’ And grinning broadly he turned to Gizmo and said: ‘Shields up and lock cargo doors!’

And he trapped the Bling Bots in the cargo hold!

(Um  …  actually, can I just ask you something?

If the Bling Bots have got the Toxic Spew trapped inside the landing cradle of an ancient space ark, and Harvey’s got the Bling Bots trapped in the cargo hold of the Toxic Spew  … 

Then  …  er  …  who’s winning?)

‘Captain, that was brilliant!’ exclaimed Gizmo.

‘Awesome,’ said Scrummage.

‘Actually, you’re turning out to be quite a good captain after all,’ grinned Maxie. Harvey grinned back.

Garbage men, not pirates

‘May I suggest we simply open the cargo hold hatch and let the Bling Bots tumble out and drift off harmlessly into outer space!’ said Gizmo, going over to the garbage control desk and reaching for the hatch lever.

‘NOOOOO!’ cried Scrummage, shoving him away. ‘We’ll loose all the Techno-tium too.’

‘Who cares?’ cried Gizmo, shoving him back and making a grab for the lever again.

‘I do!’ yelled Scrummage, shoving Gizmo sharply in the chest and snatching hold of the lever.

Gizmo was just about to launch himself full whack at Scrummage when Harvey cut in.

‘Gentlemen,’ he said firmly. ‘Leave the lever alone and stand down.’

‘But, Harvey,’ cried Maxie. ‘It’s us or the Bling Bots!’

‘If we pull that lever, the Bling Bots will die,’ said Harvey.

‘Exactly! cried Maxie.

‘Again, who cares?’ said Gizmo.

‘I do,’ said Harvey. ‘Officer Gizmo, may I remind you we’re garbage men not ruthless pirates? I say we hand them over to the Intergalactic Traffic Police and let them deal with them. We’ll just keep them in the cargo hold until they arrive.’

Which seemed like a good idea.

But then he’s new to the job. So hey, what does he know?

Panic on the command bridge

So Gizmo sat at the engineering desk sending an urgent message to the Intergalactic Traffic Police but before he could even hit ‘send’  … 

GASP, GASP, GASP!

A wave of panic-stricken gasps echoed round the command bridge, again.

‘Er, Gizmo, you might want to mark that message: “Super Urgent, Read Immediately, Do Not Delay, Top Priority, Deadly Important, Matter of Life and Death”!’ cried Maxie, looking at the cargo cam monitor in horror.

Because as soon as the Bling Bots realised they were trapped in the hold, they turned their multiple deadly weapons on the cargo doors and let rip.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

(You might be wondering how come the Bling Bots had so many guns with them when, technically, they weren’t expecting a fight.

It’s because Bling Bots always expect a fight.

Because they’re always starting them.)

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

ZAP! ZAP-A-ZAP!

GASP, GASP, GASP!

A third wave of panic-stricken gasps echoed around the bridge as they watched the all-out assault on the doors via the webcam.

‘Computer,’ barked Harvey. ‘How much of that can the cargo doors take?’

‘I have absolutely no idea,’ it said, bleeping cheerfully. ‘Hang on, I’ll do the sums  … ’

BLEEP, BLIBBLE, BLEEP!

A series of incredibly long numbers, symbols and 3D shapes flashed onto the monitor and scrolled up at incredible speed. Actually, it had nothing to do with the sums. It was just the computer pretending to be clever.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

ZAP! ZAP-A-ZAP!

BLIBBLE  …  BLEEP  … 

‘Hurry up!’ said Harvey.

‘Don’t rush me, do you want me to make a mistake? Sometimes I don’t think you realise how tricky these sums are,’ snapped the computer.

‘Now, where was I? Take away six, er  …  or should that be add six  …  never mind, I’ll just carry it over  … ’ it muttered.

Then finally it said, ‘Well, I still have absolutely no idea.

‘But I’d guess: there’s not much time before those ruthless bloodthirsty pirates blast their way through the cargo hold doors, hunt you down mercilessly and slaughter you all.

‘You might want to pick up a few things from the weapons store and get down there. Just a thought,’ it said casually and bleeped off.

To the galley!

‘Scrummage and Gizmo, come with me,’ ordered Harvey. ‘Maxie and Yargal, barricade yourselves in the galley and take Snuffles to protect you.’

‘But I want to fight,’ said Maxie.

‘But I want you to go to the galley,’ said Harvey.

‘What, because I’m a girl?’

Harvey thought for a moment. No, he thought, because I actually like you and I don’t want you to die. But he couldn’t say that out loud so he said:

‘No, because you’re the pilot. If anything happens to you, there’s no one to fly the ship. So I need you to go to the galley.’

‘No, you need all the firepower we’ve got. Yargal should go to the galley with Snuffles, because she’s no good in a fight. But I am and I’m coming with you.’ And she pushed her sleeves up her arms and gave him her most challenging stare.

Harvey recognised that look. It was the one the girls in his class used when they weren’t going to be pushed around by any of the boys. And he knew better than to ignore it.

‘OK,’ he said. ‘Let’s go.’

The crew lost no time in grabbing all the ship’s weapons and racing down to the cargo hold. By the time they arrived the giant doors were shuddering violently and rattling in their slots.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

ZAP-A-ZAP-A-ZAP!

P’TOING, P’TOING!

(Actually, I’ve just realised it might help you picture the scene if I tell you what the cargo hold doors look like.

They’re huge yellow metal ones that look like they have a massive clunky zip down the middle. They’re normally flat and a bit scratched here and there.

But just right now they’re full of huge dents and bulges, jagged-edged rips and laser slashes from the Bling Bots’ weapons.)

Bazukas, bombs and blasters

‘They’re not going to hold much longer, sir,’ cried Gizmo, loading his NovaBazuka Mark 3.

‘We’ll have to go in,’ yelled Scrummage, shouldering the ship’s huge Jellyfier bomb launcher. Maxie had already loaded her Meteor-Storm pellet gun and was cranking it up to FULL PELT and MAXIMUM STING.

‘Stand by to open the doors,’ cried Harvey, priming his AstroForce blaster crossbow. ‘Now!’ he yelled.

Gizmo punched the entry control panel and the huge solid metal doors to the cargo hold of the Toxic Spew slid back.

They were met by a hail of fire.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

ZAP-A-ZAP ZAP!

P’TOING, P’TOING!