Daisy hurried down the ward. Most of the men were restless.
‘Sister!’
‘What is it, Captain Vincent?’ She tried to keep her voice steady, although fear pulsated through her. Fear for Florrie; fear for Alex; and fear for these men, not to mention her colleagues and friends.
‘Is this it?’
Daisy didn’t have to ask what he meant. She took his hand. ‘I’m sorry. I – I . . . look, there’s every chance they’ll take you prisoner.’ It was a stupid supposition, which she didn’t believe. The Japanese were so close, and the British were on the verge of surrender. When the island was conquered – and with all the hospital staff gone – these men didn’t stand a chance. The ruthlessness of the Japs was well known. They wouldn’t take as prisoners dying men, or men with missing limbs. And she doubted they’d even take those who were on the mend. Although she couldn’t bear the thought, she knew that the fate of all of these men for whom she’d cared was certain death.
‘We both know that’s not so. Are you all being shipped out? Surely there’s some plan in place?’
Daisy nodded.
‘And no wounded are going?’
Daisy couldn’t speak.
‘Don’t cry, Sister. As many of us as possible have to survive this. You must go. Don’t ever look back with guilt. You are just a small cog, as I am; and these men are part of the greater aim that we’re all fighting for. All that each of us can do is our best, but in the end we have to accept our fate.’
A voice from two beds down shook the feelings of acceptance that Captain Vincent had given her. ‘Don’t leave us, Sister – don’t leave us! No. No! I don’t want to die.’
Running to him, Daisy held him as best she could. ‘Eeh, Corporal Lessings, try to calm yourself, lad.’ But as she said the words, she knew they were futile. ‘I won’t leave. I’ll stay with you.’
‘No, Sister.’ Captain Vincent was raised up on his elbow, looking over at them. The effort to lift himself must have cost him dearly, as he was very weak. ‘You must go. All who have a chance of surviving must do so. Corporal Lessing, we’ll all do what we can for each other. We’ve been in this together from the start, and we’ll see it through till the end.’
‘Aye, and so will I. I’m not going anywhere.’ Daisy’s heart thumped in her chest at this decision, but she knew it was the right one for her. Taking a deep breath, she went to the medicine cabinet and unlocked it. She would carry on as normal. Some of the patients were due their medication, while others needed their dressings changed. Then, if no orderlies appeared with breakfast, she’d go to the kitchen and cook it herself! But as she thought this, she realized the hopelessness of the situation. She couldn’t look after the whole hospital.
The door to her office was flung open. ‘Daisy darling, what are you doing?’
‘Oh, Alex, I can’t leave. Me conscience won’t rest ever again. How can we leave these men – they’re in our care?’
‘We have to, please, Daisy. Florrie is out of her mind with worry about you. They’re boarding the SS Kuala now. Our orders are to evacuate.’
‘I knaw, but if we do, all these men will die. How can we leave them to that fate?’
‘Darling, listen.’ Alex had taken Daisy’s hands and lowered his voice. ‘They will die anyway – the Japanese will certainly kill them, then take you prisoner. What use will you be in a POW camp? The news that is filtering out is of horrific treatment of their prisoners. There are other men in other hospitals that we can help to save. We can’t do that in a prisoner-of-war camp. We’re not being selfish; we’re not condemning these men to death. Our situation is hopeless. Our choices are that we stay and be taken prisoner, and these men die anyway; or we leave and they die, but we are able to continue to serve our country.’
Daisy knew Alex was right. ‘Just help me to administer their painkillers and dress the wounds that need dressing, Alex, please. Together it won’t take long, but it may be hours before the Japanese get here. I can’t think of leaving the men in pain as their last medication wears off.’
Alex looked deep into her eyes. ‘I can’t deny you the very thing that I love you for: your caring and compassionate ways. Yes, I’ll help you. There are hundreds of people to board yet, so we’ve got time.’ As they filled the trays with the doses needed, Alex whispered, ‘I almost feel like doubling the dose, so that none of them have to face their fate.’
Daisy understood. Part of her wanted to do the same, but they weren’t killers; they were carers, the preservers of life, no matter what.
Once more the door to the ward swung open, and this time a desperate Florrie stood in the opening. ‘Daisy! Daisy lass. I’ve been searching frantically for you. The nursing staff have all boarded. Come on, we’ve got to go.’
‘Help us, Florrie. All the trays are marked with the names. And do it calmly, lass. As if you were administering medicine on an ordinary day. Then we’ll go, I promise.’
Florrie hesitated. ‘I – I . . . Aw, Daisy, it’s hopeless.’ The last word came out as a sob.
‘Where there’s life, Florrie. Remember that. We’re nurses, and these men need us. We can give them that last bit of help.’
Florrie picked up a tray that was ready. Strength seemed to have come into her. ‘Aye, we can, our Daisy.’
An explosion rocked the building and they all froze. Dust showered down from the ceiling.
‘Oh God, they’re attacking the hospital.’
‘No, they aren’t that near yet; it will have been a stray bomb. Let’s hurry.’
Daisy followed the other two out of the office, all of them bearing trays. As she went from bed to bed, she felt as if she was betraying the terrified young men who’d fought so hard to keep the island from occupation.
By the end of the round, all three of them were in tears. As they reached the door, Alex turned and shouted, ‘Good luck, fellows.’
He meant well, but the effect on Daisy was to make her feel wretched, as if she was saying, ‘I’m all right – you take care of yourselves.’
At the dock there was chaos, as so many people were trying to board ships: doctors, nurses, orderlies and even some patients who were able-bodied enough to mobilize themselves. No one was refused.
Once aboard, Florrie smiled. ‘Eeh, Daisy, we made it!’
Daisy couldn’t smile, but hugged her sister to her.
‘Daisy, try not to dwell on leaving the men,’ Alex said. ‘This is war, and we could do nothing more for them. If we stayed, we would not only have sacrificed ourselves, but our talent, too. You have to think as we have always been taught – of those that we can save; and that will be many in the future, I’m sure, darling.’
‘I’ll try.’
Alex pulled Daisy to him. Letting go of Florrie and finding comfort in his strength, Daisy went willingly into his arms. But a voice calling out caught their attention.
They turned to see Giles running along the deck towards them, shouting, ‘Florrie. Florrie!’
Her face lit up. ‘Giles. Oh, Giles!’
‘Florrie, I – I’ve been a cad. Forgive me. I’ve been desperate to find you. I thought I’d lost you, that you’d gone on another ship . . . Florrie, I love you – I do. And I know now that I can surmount any difficulty that we may face in the future.’
Daisy waited. Part of her didn’t want Florrie to give in to the snobbish Giles, but looking at Florrie’s face, she knew she would.
‘Giles, oh, my Giles – there’s nowt to forgive. I understood. I’m not much of a catch for the circles you move in. But, you know, I can learn. I’ll do owt. Cos I love you an’ all, Giles. With all me heart, I love you.’
Giles giggled, then took Florrie in his arms. As he spoke, he warmed Daisy’s heart. ‘Don’t ever change, my Florrie. I love you as you are, and if any of my friends reject you, then they reject me, too.’ With this, he kissed Florrie on the lips. Daisy turned away and smiled up at Alex as she whispered, ‘There’s nowt like the closeness of death to open up your heart.’
‘No, there isn’t. And we did have a close shave, darling, especially with you insisting on staying that bit longer. But I love you for that. Oh, Daisy, as soon as we get home, will you marry me?’
‘I will, and I’ll be glad to. You’re all I ever dreamed of.’
It was her turn to be kissed. The kiss took away her fear, and all the pain of having to leave. And Alex’s whisper as he came out of the kiss thrilled her, when she read his meaning. ‘Shall we go and find which cabins we’ve been allocated, and be together in mine in private for a while?’
She nodded. ‘But I’ll have to tell Florrie I’m going.’
‘I’ll do that.’
Alex tapped Giles on the shoulder and whispered something to him. Giles put his thumb up. ‘See you later, mate.’
Daisy blushed as Giles gave her a knowing look. Her feelings were torn, as she realized that Alex must have told Giles what he had in mind, and this spoilt the moment for her. Turning back, she spoke to Florrie. ‘Come on, Florrie lass. We’ll go and find our cabin. We’ll see you two later.’
‘But . . .’
‘Come on, lass.’
Florrie must have recognized that Daisy needed to get away and wanted her to follow, as she made no further protest until they were out of sight. ‘What were all that about, Daisy? I’m not right pleased with you. I’ve only just got together with Giles, and you pull me away.’
‘I’m sorry, lass. Just take it that I had to. I felt cheapened by sommat as happened.’
Florrie looked shocked, but didn’t protest further.
As they stepped inside the ship and turned in the direction of the arrow pointing towards the cabins, Matron, looking more flustered than Daisy had ever seen her, stopped them. ‘There you are! Thank God.’
‘Sorry, Matron, we didn’t knaw as you were looking for us.’
‘It’s chaos. I can’t find half my nurses, and those I did find said that you and Florrie had stayed behind, Sister. I was terrified for you, but know that is your character, and I commend you for it. I wanted to myself, but had responsibility for all my staff. Now, the sisters and senior medics are all billeted up that way, and the nurses along here.’
‘We want to be together, Matron, please. I don’t mind going in a cabin in the nurses’ quarter.’
‘Very well, I understand. Of course. Take Florrie along with you – none of the first three cabins have been taken. Sister Bett is in the fourth one, awaiting someone to share with her, but there are only two bunks to a cabin.’
‘I’ll look in on her, Matron.’
Bett was composed and jolly, not a bit like she had been when the evacuation was first spoken of. After greeting them both with a hug and saying how glad she was they were safe, she told them, ‘I ran to the kitchen before I left and grabbed a box of those biscuits I like. I was going to tuck in, but do you want to take some to your cabin?’
This made Daisy burst out laughing. ‘Oh, Bett, you’re incorrigible. Aye, I’d love a biscuit; it might settle my gurgling tummy. I’ve eaten nowt this morning.’
When the ship sailed out of port, Daisy felt they were truly safe. Florrie was asleep on her bunk, but Daisy couldn’t rest. It felt to her as if she and Alex had had their first rift; but how could he make a joke about her with his friend? Not that she’d heard what he’d said, but it was obvious that Alex was warning Giles not to come to their cabin for a while. Giles’s look had shrivelled her insides.
A knock on the door got her rushing to it, hoping it was Alex. It was. He took her arm and pulled her into the corridor. Already it was dark outside, and the empty corridor was dimly lit. ‘Daisy, my love, I’m mortified. Forgive me. I didn’t mean . . . I just meant for Giles to keep the coast clear for us, my darling. I could have killed him for looking like that. Please come on deck and talk to me.’
‘I’ll get my cloak.’
Alex held her hand as they walked. ‘I need to find somewhere we won’t be seen, so that I can make everything right with you, my darling.’
Everything came right the moment he pulled her into a dark corner under a suspended lifeboat and kissed her.
As the kiss ended, Alex whispered, ‘I know how it looked, but I—’
Putting her finger to his lips, Daisy hushed him. ‘I knaw, I were silly even to think that of you. I just felt . . . well, it doesn’t matter now. I love you, and that’s all that matters.’
They clung together, both wanting to show the other how much they loved one another. Daisy yielded to Alex’s loving of her, wanting him till the need was a burning ache as his hand crept up her thigh. And as he lifted her against the side of the ship and she wrapped her legs around him, she felt a moment of exquisite sensation as he entered her. Her cry of joy merged into the sound of the waves lapping against the side of the ship. Alex loved her fervently, giving all of himself to her, until she felt the moment she loved and craved – the moment of her release.
Clinging to Alex, not wanting the feeling to leave her and yet hardly able to bear it, she cried tears of joy into his neck. Alex stiffened and held her so close that she had difficulty in drawing breath.
‘My darling. My world just came right, thank you.’
No sooner had she said this than a panicking crowd rushed by. Fear trembled through Daisy and she felt the same feeling shudder through Alex’s body. Adjusting their clothing as quickly as they could, Alex stepped out from under the boat and pulled her with him. ‘Something is amiss. Let’s make our way back to our cabins and see if we can find out what.’
A man running by shouted, ‘The Japs . . . The Japs – Christ, they’re ahead.’
‘Florrie, I must get to Florrie.’ Daisy’s heart sank.
‘Come on, darling, we’ll get to her.’
‘Torpedo!’ The terrifying cry had hardly resounded around them when the ear-splitting explosion sent them flying through the air and crashing down onto the deck.
Alex cried out in pain, but the sound was drowned out when an aeroplane swooped so low that Daisy thought it would land on the ship. Looking up, she saw the pilot’s grin, before he sent down a torrent of bullets that made her body dance.
Screams around her swirled in her head. ‘A – Al – Alex.’ His name settled on her soul as it soared above her excruciating pain and took it away. Floating and unable to control her movements, or go back to Alex, Daisy couldn’t understand why she felt so happy, so light. Her lips formed the words ‘Goodbye, my love’, but it was as if someone else had spoken them and they were a prayer, not a tearing apart. Then the earthly world lay far behind her and she was swathed in a beautiful light.
Confused and unable to see, for the choking smoke that engulfed him, Alex was surrounded by muffled screams. Lifting his hand, he reached out for Daisy. His hand sank into a warm, sticky pool of blood. ‘Daisy?’ Realization catapulted him to a sitting position. ‘DAISY!’ His scream rasped in his throat. The sounds of hell surrounded him – explosions, diving planes, rapid gunfire, screams and cries for help – as burning flames licked the deck, lighting up the tangled, bloodied body and beautiful face of his darling Daisy. Her unseeing eyes were staring at him, her hand outstretched towards him.
‘NO! NO! No-o-ooo!’
Alex’s agonized scream was lost in the sound of wave after wave of the ack-ack of gunfire and the explosion of torpedoes. Water swirled around him.
Getting up, he tried to move forward, but the slant of the ship was too great for him. It’s sinking. God, help me! Help me! He couldn’t stop the slide of his body. Choking on the salty water that threatened to engulf him, Alex knew he was going to die. The thought wasn’t frightening, but a release that was all-consuming, as his head banged against something and he felt all sensation leave him, to be replaced with a feeling of weightlessness. He fought to feel again, but ahead of him he saw his Daisy, beckoning. She looked so beautiful. He wanted more than anything to be with her. Letting go of the will that had kept him earthbound, he drifted towards the love she was showering him in.
Florrie had woken to the sound of someone banging on her cabin door. Swinging her feet off her bunk, she felt freezing-cold water. Shock brought her fully awake and, with awareness, came the terrifying sound of anguished cries and, above them, the planes, the guns and the explosions. With the slant of the boat, she couldn’t stand up. The door was flung open and Giles shot in.
‘Florrie . . . the Japs . . . Oh God, Florrie!’
A lurch and Giles fell on top of her. Their bodies were flung onto her bed. ‘Florrie. Oh, Florrie.’
Screaming above the terrible noise, she cried out for Daisy.
‘They’ve gone, Florrie.’ Giles’s sobs registered his anguish and his fear, as he rolled his weight off her and pulled her towards him.
Florrie clung onto him. The angle of their bodies rushed the blood to her head. Water splashed onto her, making her feel so cold. ‘Giles, we’ve to get out of here or we’ll drown.’
He held her tighter. ‘There’s nowhere to go, Florrie, my darling. The corridor is blocked off both ways.’
‘What! Oh, Giles . . . Oh God, help us. HELP US!’
‘Florrie, Florrie, I’m here for you. I love you. I acted so stupidly. I – I’m sorry. Oh, my darling, if we were given the chance, I would make you so happy.’
‘You have made me happy, Giles . . . I love yo – you.’
The rising water choked her as the last word was spluttered out. Panic gripped Florrie as she stretched her neck, but she couldn’t get it above the water level. A sensation of falling seized her, and her body crashed into the cabin wall. Giles still held her, but one more violent lurching and her head split, with a blow that took her into a peaceful blackness. In the light in the far distance she saw Daisy. ‘Eeh, our Daisy, you look beautiful, lass.’
Daisy’s hand beckoned her. Florrie was filled with the greatest happiness she’d ever experienced in her life as her body floated towards her beloved sister.