Hadwin rode his horse in a slow and steady plod behind Abigail. He had not said much to her since his captivity, only enough to stay out of trouble. He knew there was an ulterior motive behind her “kindness,” and with each clop of a hoof he knew he should escape. The problem was that now he would look like an escaped slave, a crime that brought severe punishments. The physical signs of his slavery—the shaved head and pierced ears—would be a dead giveaway that he was on the run. Still, he thanked God that he was alive. Hope, however slight, trickled into his soul. He was going to Jerusalem. He might see his family again.
“Keep up!” shouted Abigail. Hadwin quickened the pace of his horse.
“I’m doing my best here.”
“Shut up! You are now a slave. You only speak to me when I ask you to.”
Everything in Hadwin wanted to fight back. He knew it would not end well here.
“You know I could serve you better as an adviser rather than a slave.”
Abigail motioned to one of her guards. He rode his horse back to where Hadwin had stopped. Pulling out a whip, he lashed it across Hadwin’s back. The wooden hooks woven into the leather straps dug into his flesh, pulling him to the ground. A hot streak of pain shot through Hadwin’s whole body as he lay on the ground. He looked up. Abigail was enjoying this. She sat on her horse staring at the spectacle.
“Get up,” he heard her say in the distance. The throbbing in his head reminded him of the Roman war drums he heard as a child when the Roman legions embarked on a new war. He tried to get up, but his body revolted. He felt two sets of hands pull him to his feet.
“I’m not going to tell you again. You address me when I ask you to.”
He tried to get back on his horse, but he was too weak. One of the guards grabbed him around his legs and hoisted him to the back of the animal. Slowly Hadwin was able to get his legs situated on the animal and sit up.
“We’ve lost enough time here. Let’s keep moving,” said Abigail. Once they neared the city of Jerusalem, Hadwin could see the familiar site of the Temple Mount overlooking the narrow streets and marketplaces. His ears still throbbed. He could barely keep his eyes open even while riding on the back of the animal. His plan was to cut his earlobes off once he found a time when he could escape. Then he could blame it on the cruelty of robbers who thought they could have a laugh at his expense. He knew it was not likely to be successful, but he had to try. Hadwin had no intention of being a captive for very long. He could not figure out why Abigail was in such a hurry. Yeshua would likely be in Jerusalem through Passover.
The crowds of people began to gather in numbers Hadwin had never seen before. He could see that it made Abigail nervous. The crowds were so large that Abigail and the guards dismounted to lead the horses through. Hadwin didn’t want to walk. He had not recovered from the beating. However, his better judgment took control and he dismounted, groaning the whole time. Everyone had palm leaves in their hands. How peculiar, he thought. Then the crowds parted, and people were throwing their coats on the ground. He could barely see a man on a donkey. The crowd cheered so loud that it hurt Hadwin’s ears. He recognized Yeshua. It made him smile. The people were shouting phrases like “Here comes the Messiah to save God’s people from tyranny!”
Hadwin knew language like that could get someone killed. The Romans did not like anyone challenging their power. It did not matter whether he claimed to be divine or not. Following through the crowd, Abigail and her guards kept moving. Hadwin thought if he could make a run for it then he could possibly be free. However, he didn’t know how Abigail would make his family suffer if he did. He pushed himself through the crowd to catch up to the guards. It was better that he make his escape when they were not in Jerusalem. They stayed until the crowd died down.
Hadwin tried to find an inn that was not fully occupied. Each house he went to had no vacancies. It was the week before Passover, and people loved to travel to Jerusalem during this time. Finally he found one inn with a stable that had a vacancy. Only enough for the guards and Abigail. Hadwin had to stay with the animals. He didn’t mind too much. It took the pressure off having to bend to their every whim.
Even in the lights of the city the stable was dark, allowing him to sleep. The bed of straw he made was a welcome reprieve from the ground on which he normally slept. The smell from the animals, on the other hand, was bad enough to wake the dead. Even so, the dead of night and total exhaustion took over, and his eyes closed and did not open until light made its appearance from behind the leather window coverings. His whole body ached as he picked himself up. His back was still tender from the lashing, and he knew he would get another one if he failed to have their provisions ready to move out.
“Why didn’t you run?”
Hadwin turned around to see Abigail standing in the entryway. “I don’t know what you mean,” he said.
“You could have run. There are ways of hiding your earlobes. Why didn’t you?”
Hadwin paused for a moment, weighing his words carefully. “You know what my family looks like. I have no doubt you will find them if I anger you. So I stayed.”
His words hung in the air.
“You truly love your daughter,” said Abigail. It was almost a question.
“She is my whole world. I would die for her.”
“And Ester, your wife?”
“Her as well.”
Hadwin went back to his work. He could feel her eyes staring at him, looking for something. A tell. A moment of weakness.
“You know I never had a father. I should say I never had a father who cared at all for his daughter.”
Hadwin stayed silent. He kept packing the horses with the provisions they had left.
Abigail turned to walk away. Hadwin saw an opportunity.
“Wait! Tell me. What would you have done if I had run?”
“I would have added you to a long list of men who have abandoned me. Then I would’ve hunted you down and had you killed.”
“You cannot buy a father’s love. You know that.”
“Who says I wanted to?”
“You did when you could have had me killed. Instead, you wanted to come to Jerusalem to see Yeshua. Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“I think you do know. I think you want what Ester and Rina have, but you don’t have the tools to find it yourself.”
“I don’t want you to be my father, if that is what you’re saying.”
“No, you just want to believe that some men can be kind. You want to know that someone out there actually cares what happens to you.”
“So, do you? Do you care?”
Hadwin paused for a moment. “I am a bondslave, am I not?”
Abigail smiled for a moment. And for a moment, Hadwin thought he spied a flicker of humanity in her eyes. “Well, there are men who can be kind, but I am incapable of kindness.”
Hadwin waited for the next sentence, which inevitably would be his sentence. It never came. He saw a tear roll down Abigail’s cheek. He was confused by his own emotions. Why and how could he feel compassion for such a creature? This woman was why his family was in hiding. She was the reason he gave up his old life to spare their lives. This woman killed some of his friends. Yet, for a moment, he felt compassion for her. Even worse, he saw Rina in her eyes.
Everything he had said was to survive. Yet there was a twinge of authenticity in his voice. A longing for normalcy that he could not hide. When he looked at Abigail, all he saw was a hurt child—a woman who had been abused by life and a survivor. He had to escape.