I was diagnosed with an eating disorder when I was eighteen years old: anorexia nervosa with accompanying exercise addiction, much like Riley. My issues with food and self-esteem started much earlier than that, though. They started in seventh grade, when I started worrying about fitting in and began comparing my body to the bodies of my peers.
I was a lot like Riley. I worried that I wasn’t as “pretty as,” “smart as,” “athletic as,” “skinny as,” and on and on and on. When I started getting sick and losing weight, I got attention. I finally started feeling special. What years of illness and ultimately recovery taught me was that having an eating disorder is not what made me special. Yes, it got me attention at first, but it was the wrong kind of attention. It was attention that I received because people were worried about me. Through therapy and eating (yes, eating! Proper nutrition helps your brain function and helps you see reason and logic) and lots of learning and reflection, I started to realize that I didn’t have to be the smartest or the skinniest or the best at anything.
All I had to do was be myself. Being myself was good enough.
If you want to read more about my journey to recovery, along with tips for navigating your own struggles, I also wrote You Are Enough: Your Guide to Body Image and Eating Disorder Recovery.
Remember: recovery is possible. If you are dealing with body image issues or think you might have an eating disorder, the following two organizations are a great place to start:
National Eating Disorders Association:
nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support
National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders:
anad.org/get-help