Willow told me to make a list of reasons I want to recover. It sounded cheesy at first (everything here sounds cheesy at first), but I think it’ll help. She told me to look at it anytime I’m having trouble. Anytime I feel anxious or like I want to give up and control my body forever.
I’m going to try to believe that a silly list can help me get better. I guess that’s all I can do, right?
RILEY’S REASONS FOR RECOVERY
(It has a nice ring to it!)
1. I can be on the track team again. Not now, but eventually. If I want to.
2. I can go to sleepovers and parties without worrying about food.
3. I can eat pizza and ice cream again.
4. It won’t hurt to sit in a chair without a cushion.
5. I won’t be cold all the time.
6. Emerson and Josie won’t get mad at me for canceling plans.
7. Dillon and Tyler won’t call me “Skinny Bones” and “Skeletor” anymore.
8. I won’t think about food all the time. I can think about school and homework and get good grades again.
9. I won’t be tired every minute of every day.
10. I’ll be able to fall asleep.
11. Mom will be proud of me. (I think.)
12. I will be proud of me. (I know.)
RILEY’S REASONS TO STAY SICK
(Willow didn’t ask me to make this list, but I did it anyway. It’s shorter than I expected.)
1. I’ll still be skinny.
2. Talia and the other kids at school won’t make fun of my body.
It’s not that long. It’s not that impressive.