PRACTICE 3
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF A PROBLEM YOU’VE BEHAVED YOURSELF INTO?
If so, you may want to consider
PRACTICE 3: BEHAVE YOUR WAY TO CREDIBILITY.
When you don’t behave your way to credibility, your room may feel like Sartre’s hell because:
• You’re frustrated that people judge you on your behavior, not your good intentions.
• You’re irritated because you feel you must prove yourself to others.
• Over time, no one trusts you or has confidence in you.
My friend Chelsea recently had a flat tire while driving to work. After putting the spare on, she headed to the franchise of a well-known national chain. The mechanic there found a nail in the sidewall of the tire and stated that there was no way to fix the puncture if the tread was lower than nine millimeters. Chelsea was disheartened to hear that she might have to purchase a new tire, but the mechanic wasn’t finished. He went on to point out that, since she drove an all-wheel-drive vehicle, all four tires would need to be replaced if just one was bad. He measured the depth of the tread on the punctured tire and glumly announced that it was seven millimeters, so there was no other choice but to purchase a new set. He tallied up the total (over a thousand dollars) and made an appointment for the next day.
On the drive home, Chelsea decided to call her brother-in-law, Mike, a former automotive-parts salesman. The last thing she wanted to do was spend a thousand dollars, but she certainly wasn’t an expert when it came to tires. Mike gave her the name of a small shop he trusted but she’d never heard of. She called the mechanic on duty and learned that she could buy the same set of tires for two hundred dollars less than what was previously quoted to her. She was anxious to save money, but hesitant to use an unknown business. Based on Mike’s recommendation, however, she ended up driving to the smaller shop to purchase the tires.
The mechanic there asked if he could look at the punctured tire. In Chelsea’s mind, she’d already committed to buying an entire new set, but didn’t see any harm in his examining the original tire. The mechanic measured, then remeasured the tire, telling her that the tread measured nine millimeters, not seven millimeters. He went on to advise her that she didn’t need four new tires. Instead, he recommended that Chelsea see the service manager at the dealership where she originally bought the car. He suggested that she get the same tire, but have them shave the tread to match the other three.
This advice would certainly cost the mechanic the sale, but he seemed genuinely concerned with helping Chelsea find the least expensive solution to her problem. As a result, my friend took his advice and ended up saving nearly eight hundred dollars. She also called the original store to not only cancel the appointment but to express her disappointment.
As Chelsea related the events of her flat-tire story, I wondered about the reputation each shop had earned. Both mechanics were presented with the same problem, but one behaved in a way that severely damaged his credibility with my friend and everyone she told. By contrast, the second mechanic increased his credibility and likely earned some new clients in the process. He did this by showcasing three principles of behaving with credibility:
• Demonstrating character and competence
• Taking the long-term view
• Adapting to the situation at hand
Without a high degree of character and competence, people aren’t going to trust you. You might think of me as someone who’s thoughtful and considerate (character), but you might have reservations when I offer to pack your parachute for your first skydiving lesson (competence). Chances are you’d probably want to know just how much experience and/or training I’d had in parachute packing (none). And despite my amiable disposition and positive attitude, you’d be right to find me lacking credibility. In the same way, you might be hesitant if you learned the person who had packed your parachute was just acquitted of a manslaughter charge on a technicality: The individual might have every parachute-packing certification around, but if you feel something about the packer’s character is off, it will likely cause concern. Now, this example is obviously a bit extreme, but without high character and high competence, credibility can’t flourish. Because of this, it’s worth diving a little deeper into each.
I learned a valuable lesson about character as a young manager early in my career. My job was to negotiate contracts with the doctors who worked with my company, a health-maintenance organization. One year we brought in a new group of physicians with unique requirements. It took several weeks for our team to write a contract that would meet their needs. This all happened before we had computers and electronic files—everything was done on a typewriter (a device now mostly seen in museums). In any case, these original typed pages were passed back and forth for ongoing revisions, edits, and suggestions from the various team members. After weeks of work, we reached the point where the contract was about to be finalized and signed . . . only it was missing!
No one could find it. Each person who was thought to have been the last one to review it pointed the finger at someone else. We searched for more than a week trying to locate the paperwork, but with no luck—all while the clock was ticking toward the date we needed to implement the new contract with the physician group.
As frustrating as it was, we had no choice but to painstakingly re-create the contract from scratch. While the writing went a little faster this time, a great deal of effort was wasted. We eventually completed the new contract, put it in place, and the relationship was established.
One evening about six months later, I was looking through my desk drawers for an old file. As I pulled out various documents, to my horror, I discovered the missing contract—it had been in my desk the entire time! I had accidentally paper-clipped it to the back of another document and stuck it in the wrong folder.
I thought carefully about what my next steps should be. The new contract was in place; everyone was over their frustration and had moved on. My first thought was to toss the contract in the trash and tell no one. The last thing I wanted was for anyone to know I was the guy who was the cause of the near disaster and all the wasted effort. I went home and slept on it. The next morning, however, I found myself walking over to my boss’s office with the lost contract in hand. While I’d like to think my decision to tell the truth was a result of my high-minded character, I was more likely, at that age, to be driven by the fear that somebody would eventually find out, and my attempt to conceal the truth would only make matters worse.
“You’re going to want to kill me,” I said reluctantly to my boss as I handed the missing document to him, “but look what I found in my desk!”
He took the document and then looked at me for a long time. I waited for the impending explosion of anger. Instead, he said, “I admire you, Todd. I think I would have just thrown it away.” We both laughed as I told him the idea had crossed my mind.
His response that day taught me a valuable lesson: that character wasn’t built on being infallible, but by behaving in a way that proved to others I could be trusted, even when no one was looking.
Character is such an important attribute, I’ve written an entire section about it. (See “Practice 15: Start With Humility.”)
Competence
Many people think strong character can make up for lack of competence. I’m reminded of Craig, a colleague I used to work with: He was reliable, pleasant, and no one ever questioned his honesty or integrity. He always remembered everyone’s birthday, was considerate of others, and remembered the key events of clients’ personal lives. He put people first.
There came a point in his career where both Craig and Marta, a fellow team member, were working with the same client. The client decided to engage our company in partnering on an additional project, requiring more work from either Craig or Marta. While both employees had good character, Marta had paid more of a price to invest in her competence. She had taken several postgraduate courses that resulted in an increase in her business acumen, and had shadowed several of our top consultants over the years. It was apparent that she was in a continual state of learning and getting better at her profession. Ultimately, the client hired Marta over Craig, the highly personable colleague, knowing Marta had paid the price to thoroughly understand the business. Craig was disappointed and even felt that the decision wasn’t fair. He allowed his frustration to fester and, as the cycle repeated with additional clients, he eventually left the organization. Craig had lost credibility because he allowed his competence to wane.
Increasing competence often requires that we step outside our comfort zone. A friend shared the story of Malee, who was shy both by nature and culture, and struggling to earn the approbation of her team leaders. She was a good person, but if she couldn’t get past her crippling shyness, she wouldn’t end up being a good fit for the team. A change in management presented Malee with a new boss, who made participation in team meetings a mandatory part of performance reviews. When Malee learned that she needed to participate and share thoughts of how to improve processes, she was petrified. She had no confidence that her ideas were worthy of being heard and, even worse, had never spoken up in front of anyone in her life! But wanting to get better, she courageously asked her team leader Lisa to mentor and guide her. She admitted to Lisa that she’d recently been asked to give a talk in front of a community group to which she belonged. These were people who knew and liked her, and the topic was one she understood well, yet she still declined. Malee worried that if she couldn’t speak in front of friends in her community, how could she ever bring herself to speak up in front of co-workers?
Lisa encouraged Malee to share her suggestions one-on-one before the team meetings. Lisa would then share Malee’s ideas in the team meeting without attributing them to her so that she could see how people reacted to her ideas. Malee agreed, and she began meeting with Lisa weekly.
After only a few meetings, Malee saw her co-workers respond positively to her ideas. This response gave her the courage to start slowly sharing them herself, increasing her communication competency week by week. With positive feedback from Lisa and fellow teammates, eventually, Malee built her confidence level. Many of her team members were surprised at the insightful suggestions Malee started to share. She became courageous enough to recommend that they eliminate what she viewed was a redundant step in one of the manufacturing processes. This humble woman was amazed when her teammates agreed with her. It was a big change and would need to be presented to the executive committee. Her teammates elected Malee to present the idea. At first, she said no, but after considerable coaching from Lisa, she practiced over and over, enlisting her teammates to give helpful feedback. Malee ended up delivering her suggestion to the executive team, who implemented it. The idea ended up saving the company $65,000 in one year, and much more later. Her newly acquired competence around publicly sharing her ideas, as difficult as it was for her to overcome her fears, ended up building high levels of trust and credibility across the entire organization.
Credibility isn’t earned overnight. Taking the long-term view means you are willing to pay the price to earn it—regardless of the time and effort involved. When I first joined FranklinCovey’s HR department, I looked for ways to make things more efficient and effective. I noticed early on that the CEO approved all hires—from part-time receptionists to senior leaders. I immediately thought, Here’s an area where I could free up the CEO’s time and make the hiring process more efficient.
I scheduled a meeting with the CEO to discuss what he would need to see in order to feel comfortable allowing me to make the hiring decisions for certain roles. His response surprised me. “I appreciate you asking,” he said. “But it’s working well for me to always approve the positions.”
I had a sense there was more behind his decision. I left the meeting a bit perplexed: Why would the CEO choose to spend his valuable time approving all new hires?
I continued to implement the current traditional process. Every two weeks he and I would meet to review every new hire or replacement request. It was a time-intensive process. He’d ask, “Is there anyone else who could do this job that we currently employ?” Or “What do we lose if this particular job doesn’t get done anymore?” Or “If we were going to redesign this department, would we hire the same positions again?” The questions went on and on, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he didn’t think I had the credibility to make these kinds of decisions. As time passed, I started seeing patterns in his questions. I began to anticipate them. Each time we met, I had more of his questions already addressed. This process continued for quite some time, with me presenting the information and asking at the end, “Have I missed anything?” Every once in a while, the CEO would ask something I hadn’t covered; but usually, I had anticipated and addressed his concerns in advance. I started to feel his trust in me build.
It would have been easy for me to wallow in my frustration and feel resentment in having my own credibility challenged in such a way. But by taking the long-term view, I was able to learn from the CEO and build skills that enhanced my credibility. I discovered a lot about the critical thinking that should go into every hire a company makes. It also gave me the opportunity to learn the why behind what I had initially viewed as overinvolvement. Over time, I learned that the CEO was driven by a sincere compassion for people, not a desire to do my job. His rigorous process had come from a time in our company’s history where the right hiring processes weren’t in place, and a restructure had ended up negatively impacting many lives. The CEO cared so much for people that he didn’t ever want to face that situation again. Taking the long-term view gave me the patience I needed to determine what was important to him and to increase my credibility with him over time. It also gave me the opportunity to evaluate and strengthen the entire recruitment and hiring process.
When it comes to building credibility, there’s no escaping time. Transitory actions may build confidence in others, but trust only comes from seeing the consistency of such actions over time. If we don’t take the long-term view, our credibility will suffer. As with Chelsea and her flat tire, the second mechanic traded a short-term gain (selling a new set of tires) for a longer-term relationship. Because of his willingness to take the long-term view, not only has my friend announced that she will employ him for future tire needs, but her endorsement will likely send many of her friends there as well.
Building credibility often means adapting to new situations and people. Let’s say you have a boss who values constant and frequent communication as hallmarks of credibility. So you earn her trust by preparing weekly reports and coming to every meeting highly organized and with a preset agenda. As she likes to be actively involved in the decision-making process, you bring options to her and collaborate on decisions. The process works well.
Then you change organizations.
Your new boss defines credibility differently. He believes in giving you an end result to shoot for and letting you determine how you’re going to get there. He’s interested in hearing from you if you’ve hit a roadblock, not in sharing status updates or involving him in all the details. As it turns out, the behaviors you’ve honed around frequent communication may undermine your credibility in your new role. This ability to observe and reorient oneself is often referred to as situational awareness.
I remember working with a talented account executive who struggled with not being able to adapt. She joined our sales team after running her own company for many years, and quickly landed some very creative and lucrative deals. She had a lot of experience with clients and a great track record of credibility with them.
When it came to my attention that we needed to fill a sales leadership position, her name arose as a possible candidate. As we started the interview process, it became apparent that her selling skills were flawless. She seemed to be the ideal candidate. However, on closer examination, we learned more from her co-workers and boss. While it was true that she outproduced almost every salesperson in the region, the coordinators who worked with her didn’t give her such high accolades. They complained about her condescending comments and expressed frustration over how she often put them in urgency mode, only to find out later that it was mostly a ruse to get them to adhere to her timetable.
As we talked with others, a pattern emerged: She was a great salesperson, but she didn’t get along very well with the people she needed to work with every day. Her boss decided to hold off on the promotion. When I shared the news with her, she was extremely disappointed. She expressed that she had never been told she had a credibility problem before and had successfully run her own company for years.
While the talented sales professional may have earned credibility as the lone genius, her new circumstance required that she adapt to working with a larger team. Suddenly faced with the prospect of working with others’ timelines, skill levels, personalities, and priorities, she wasn’t up to the task. She had been too focused on her own agenda rather than the agenda of the whole team. As a result, her credibility suffered, and she missed out on the promotion.
We always pay a price when we lose credibility. While it may be tempting to give up, there’s something to be said for staying with it, to be continually behaving our way back to credibility, even when it’s been damaged or suffered a blow. It was something I wondered if the mechanic at the tire store my friend Chelsea first visited would come to realize.
• • •
My friend took the second mechanic’s advice and ended up saving nearly eight hundred dollars. She also called the original store to not only cancel the appointment but to express her disappointment.
“May I speak with the manager?” she asked after dialing.
“He’s not in, but can I help you?” My friend recognized the mechanic who had tried to sell her a thousand dollars’ worth of unnecessary tires.
“I’ve got a concern,” she replied. “I came in with a punctured tire yesterday, and you told me I needed to buy a new set of tires.”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well, I just want to give you some feedback. I visited another shop, and they not only found that you had incorrectly measured the remaining tread on my tire, but they said I didn’t need to replace the whole set. I ended up buying only one tire and had the tread shaved down on it to match the others. I just wanted you to know it felt like you were trying to take advantage of me. I hope I’m wrong.”
My friend later told me she expected to either be hung up on or to hear some choice words back at her.
“Miss,” he said into the phone. “I’m sorry. What would you like me to do at this point?”
“Honestly, probably nothing,” my friend admitted. “But I appreciate you hearing me out.”
Once you’ve damaged your reputation and credibility with someone, the way back can be difficult, and it certainly won’t happen overnight. For my friend, it wasn’t too difficult to find another tire vendor. When it comes to relationships, however, people are not so easily replaced. If you’ve damaged or lost credibility with someone, or if you need to build additional character and competence, begin the process of behaving your way back to credibility today.