207To organise my thoughts, I went for a walk in the Schlosspark. I needed to contact Boris and I needed to find out what had really happened in that lay-by.

Aside from me, only two people would’ve had an interest in killing Dragan: Boris and Toni. Boris because he wanted to eliminate his competitor, and Toni because he wanted to take Dragan’s place. So we were facing either a gang war or an insurrection. As a newly minted king slayer, both scenarios could go properly pear-shaped for me, especially if I wasn’t 100 per cent sure who was behind it. If I made a move against the wrong guy, the consequences could be nasty. If I didn’t do anything, the consequences could be even nastier. So I based my rough plan on simply letting Boris and Toni eliminate each other.

Once, Boris was Dragan’s best friend. Once, Toni was Dragan’s protégé. Now, Dragan was out of the game. Now, Dragan was … me. Though I’d resolved my own issues with Dragan quite mindfully, as the new Dragan I’d taken on his issues too. Still, I’d be able to cope with those as well.

While letting my gaze wander along a lane of poplars in the park, I got a text from Toni: ‘Where’s Dragan?’ It was phrased like Toni himself: rude and demanding.

Who asks a question like that? Either Toni was behind 208Friday’s ambush, in which case the question couldn’t be more brazen, or he wasn’t, in which case the question couldn’t be more stupid. Especially sent unencrypted to a phone that was monitored by the police or from one that was being monitored – possibly even both.

Before I could rashly and angrily respond, ‘Have you gone completely barmy?’, I found a quiet seat on one of the benches lining the lane, took three deep breaths, and pulled out my mindfulness book. A few weeks earlier, when Dragan was getting on my nerves, I had already found a passage about dealing with the shamelessly brazen:

Some people communicate openly, others with restraint. The latter are often quick to consider the former rude, brazen or shameless. Instead of getting pointlessly upset about other people’s shamelessness, you can address the discrepancy between communication styles instead. Be less cautious in expressing what you want and respond to any shamelessness with clarity. The best response to an unjustified request is: ‘Thank you for openly expressing what you want. Unfortunately, I cannot fulfil your request.’

I found it a nice approach, but if I would write back to Toni, with the police reading along, ‘Thank you for asking where I hid Dragan. Unfortunately, Dragan told me not to tell anyone where he was’, then I might have responded mindfully to Toni’s rudeness, but I’d also ensure that the investigators both mindfully and rudely reading along 209would have a lot of questions for me. I chose to split the difference: communicate so openly that Toni and the police could both interpret my message any way they pleased. I texted back:

‘Thanks for asking so openly. Dragan is at Hermannstraße 41, 2nd floor, “Ms Bregenz” (ring twice), but he wants to keep that under wraps.’

Let the police, Toni and Ms Bregenz decide among themselves what this text meant. And if this got Ms Bregenz into trouble … I’d welcome that too.

While still on the bench, I called the office and asked whether the termination agreement was on my desk. It was.

I set off on foot to sign it. From the park, the office was just half an hour’s walk away. To keep up my new habit, I drank a quiet coffee at McDonald’s and bought a newspaper before going up to the office. At three o’clock on the dot, forty-five minutes after I got Toni’s text, I was in my office. The termination agreement – including the changes I’d requested – was ready for my signature. I countersigned and added Dragan’s statement to the folder. Starting the next day, I would no longer be an employee of Von Dresen, Erkel and Dannwitz. As my final goodbye to this firm that had cost me ten years of my life and perhaps also my marriage, I wanted to personally hand Ms Bregenz the folder, my key card and the car keys – along with the address where the car was parked.

But Ms Bregenz wasn’t behind the desk. When I’d gotten to the office, her grumpy self had still been there to ignore me. Now she was on the ground behind the desk, her face 210pale, breathing shallow, surrounded by two paramedics and all the employees who were around – Clara, the trainee, among them.

‘What happened?’ I asked her.

‘Ms Bregenz collapsed,’ Clara replied.

‘Clara, considering you’ve got an oral exam coming up soon, it would be helpful for you to practise summarising the key points of a complex issue. I can see for myself Ms Bregenz has collapsed, but can you tell me why?’

‘She got a call and then she collapsed.’

‘Who called her?’

‘The police did.’

‘How do you know that?’

‘Because when I picked up the phone to call an ambulance, the police were still on the line.’

‘And what did they tell you?’

‘That they would call the ambulance themselves.’

‘Thank you, Clara. Now, did the police perhaps also tell you what upset Ms Bregenz so much that she collapsed?’

‘So, they told her that a hand grenade had exploded in her apartment, right before a specialist firearms unit was about to storm in.’

Another hand grenade.

‘Thank you, Clara, wasn’t that easy?’

I focused on my breathing and on the one indubitably positive thing I had just learned. My mindful text had apparently reached its destination and been read by both Toni and the police. To actually carry out an attack on Dragan – supposedly staying with Ms Bregenz, of all people – was 211as ludicrous as it was desperate. Boris was neither of these things; Toni was both. This meant that, unless Boris had a mole with the police, only Toni could be behind this new attack. I had gotten exactly what mindful people appreciate most: clarity. Now I knew who was behind all these problems. Yet this did not necessarily make those problems any smaller.

Since Ms Bregenz was no longer available for my ceremonial handover, I put the folder and the key in the internal mail drop-off. I realised this was probably the last time I would leave the office as an employee. As I breathed away the hand grenade exploding in Ms Bregenz’s apartment, I started to feel cheerful, elated even. What did I care about the personal lives of my former employer’s employees? I had a six-figure sum in cash, a contractually guaranteed severance payment almost twice as high and, from now on, plenty of time to spend with my daughter and live a stress-free life. No hand grenade had exploded in my apartment. Sure, to prevent one from exploding there in the future, I’d still have to pit Toni and Boris against each other, but it would all work itself out.

Of course, I had no idea then that the waves I’d just ridden were actually heralding a massive storm that would drown me if I didn’t step up to captain the ship I’d been about to disembark.212