“STAY WITH me for a few days,” Nash said, punctuating his request with the press of a kiss to Ford’s back as he pulled him in, curling his body around him.
Ford’s body tensed at the invitation. He knew Nash could probably feel it too. And what the fuck was he thinking, even considering it? He should have insisted Nash take him home after they’d left the hospital. Mixed signals were flying every which way, and the deep regret that came with a mistake this huge threatened to take hold.
“I have a guest room if you’d be more comfortable…,” Nash continued, his voice trailing off.
Ford knew what Nash wanted him to say. He knew what he wanted to say. But the thought of letting himself fall into a situation where he was essentially living there, to let Nash take care of him, to worry about him like that, was overwhelming. He liked Nash, almost too much.
His head and his heart were at war on this one. On the one hand, he liked having Nash close. His skin was like a drug, and Ford couldn’t get enough. Any chance to touch him, he’d take it. He wanted to let Nash take care of him, to sink into the temporary comfort and forget about Joel’s death, but he couldn’t do that. Pretending everything was okay wouldn’t change anything, and letting himself get too lost in someone else was something he couldn’t afford to let happen again.
“I can’t stay here because some shitty stuff happened. I have a life… responsibilities. I have to work tomorrow night,” Ford protested, but the objection was weak, and he knew Nash heard it.
“Taking some time away from the hospital might be a good idea.”
“I don’t need time off, and besides, they’re not going to approve holidays with this short notice.”
“Then take a leave of absence or call in sick.”
“I can’t call in sick. They never have enough staff to cover as it is,” Ford said. Even the muscles in his feet were tense.
Nash continued, “And maybe if you miss a day or two, and they realize you’ve been pulling three times as much weight as you should have been, they’ll look at hiring someone else.”
Ford sighed heavily. “Greene would never approve the budget for that.”
“You’ll never know if you don’t try.”
“Working will take my mind off… everything. It’ll be good to be in my normal routine.”
Nash pulled him in tighter, and Ford melted into it, adjusting his body so more of their skin was in contact. He couldn’t stop himself, couldn’t force space between them. He wanted the contact—needed it—and he didn’t possess anywhere near enough willpower to keep from basking in the beautiful warmth of Nash’s body.
“I’m not trying to boss you around or manage your life. You’re a grown man, and your decisions are yours to make. I’ll be here for you whether you’re working or not, but I think you should give some thought to taking time off. I know it can sound like a load of bullshit, but if you don’t deal with how you’re feeling, it’s going to be worse in the long run.”
“I hardly knew him.” Ford’s voice was so quiet he barely heard it himself.
“I know, baby, but in the short time you did, he made an impact. I know he did. Losing Joel is going to be hard on you. Take some time to deal with that loss, and go back to work when you’re emotionally ready.”
“I still can’t believe he’d kill himself. In reality, he only ever said a few words to me, but I’ve seen a lot of suicidal patients come through the ER, and he wasn’t like that. He’d obviously been abused, but his soul wasn’t broken.”
The way the thought gutted him, Ford knew Nash was right. He did need to take some time off. Maybe spending time with Nash was the distraction he needed. As long as he didn’t let himself get too attached.
It had been so long since he’d let himself enjoy being with another man. Had Peter really taken that from him?
“I’ll stay.”
Ford felt Nash pull back, and then his hand on Ford’s shoulder, turning him as Nash maneuvered on top of him, pressing him into the mattress and kissing him breathless.
IT HAD been surprisingly easy to get out of the next week’s shifts. It had been so long since Ford had called in sick that he’d almost forgotten how, and it was because of that fact that his leave of absence had been granted so easily. Scheduling didn’t care, and his boss knew him well enough to know if he said he needed time off, he really needed time off.
When he’d hung up the phone, he walked back into the bedroom where Nash was still sleeping like the dead, oblivious that Ford left in the first place. It would have been so easy to gather his things and leave, catching a cab back to his own neighborhood and his own depressingly empty apartment, and for a moment, Ford considered it.
And then he pulled back the covers and climbed back into bed, relaxing into the heat radiating from Nash’s naked body. He closed his eyes and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.
When they’d both woken once more, they spent the day lounging, alternating the distractions between TV and sex, sometimes both at the same time. Ford couldn’t remember a time when he’d been that fucked out and that content to sit on his ass, cuddled into someone else and doing absolutely nothing.
He was proud of himself for spending an entire afternoon without thinking. Every time reality began creeping in, he pushed it back, turning on the next episode of Suits, and when the task proved too difficult for him to manage on his own, Nash was more than willing to help out, kissing him until Ford no longer remembered his own name.
Ford stretched out in Nash’s soft sheets that night, grateful he had given in and agreed to stay. He felt good—far better than he thought possible. Maybe a week of vegging on the couch and almost more sex than he could handle was exactly what he needed. Maybe one of the reasons he’d taken Joel’s death as hard as he had was that he was burned out to begin with. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d taken a vacation. Come to think of it, it might have been Aaron’s high school graduation. That was almost five years earlier.
Closing his eyes, he reveled in the feeling of Nash’s arms around him, his steady, even breaths at his back, and the deep-seated satiety that had filled him the whole day.
Ford had anticipated an entire week of lounging and boring holes in his head with mindless TV and in his stomach with junk food. What he got instead was a man pulling him out of bed the next morning like an overexcited kid, begging him to get dressed so they could spend the day in the mountains.
“What happened to being a fucking couch potato and not moving? What happened to building myself into a blanket cocoon on your couch?” Ford whined, going limp to keep Nash from dragging him from the bed.
Nash chuckled and slid his arms beneath Ford’s back and legs, cradled him and carried him to the bathroom. Ford groaned, at the same time trying to tamp down his libido. Having a thing for guys that were strong enough to throw him around was not a good thing in that moment.
Nash set him down to stand next to the shower. Ford shivered in the chilly morning air, still naked from the night before as Nash started the water, then stepped in, pulling Ford with him.
He let Nash wash him, his body melting under Nash’s careful touch, strong hands stroking every inch of Ford until he was pliable, both physically and mentally.
“Come with me,” Nash begged once more.
Ford growled. “That’s a cheap move, Ridley.”
“What? Making you happy so you’ll do what I want?”
“Yeah.” The word was breathy. Nash’s mouth was flush against Ford’s sternum, sucking gently and making every nerve come alive in the process.
Nash stood, meeting Ford’s eyes. “The mountains?”
“Fine.”
He beamed, a smile that made Ford’s stomach flip and his heart gave a double beat.
IT TOOK them a little over half an hour with traffic, plus fifteen minutes more for Ford to retrieve suitable clothes from his place, to make it over the bridge and up the hill to the British Properties. Nash rounded the corner of the residential area, and there was a space on the opposite side of the road where a house had been torn down, leaving a gap in the trees that offered a view over the harbor and the entire city behind it. It was breathtaking.
The closer they got, the more Ford regretted agreeing. A plush couch and a soft blanket seemed much more his speed. He’d been thinking with his dick again, and that never ended well.
But instantly, Ford considered that maybe it worked both ways.
He reached over, sliding his hand up along Nash’s thigh. Nash’s cock twitched against his hand, and he rubbed harder, until Nash shot him a faux-annoyed look.
“You trying to make me wreck the car?” he asked.
“Nope. But I was thinking… the views up here are gorgeous. Instead of hiking, we could park somewhere and make out.”
Nash laughed, the deep sound filling the car. “I don’t think so. But if you want to make out after our hike, I would totally be up for that.”
“Would a blow job sway your resolve?” he asked, as seductively as possible.
The laugh was back, deeper and longer this time. “Rain check?”
Ford pulled his hand back and gave an exaggerated pout.
They were there already, and Nash found a place to park his giant SUV at the end of a road that looked more like they were arriving for a visit than willingly schlepping through the wilderness in the cold dampness.
Reluctantly, Ford got out of the vehicle, gravel crunching beneath his feet, and made sure his scarf was firmly in place, his jacket zipped tight, and his mittens in his pocket. He was not made for the outdoors unless it involved a patio and a cocktail.
The end of September in the North Shore Mountains was cool and drizzly. It wasn’t raining, but the air was saturated with mist, and Ford was miserable less than ten minutes in. He was freezing, he was already wet, and they’d barely made it off the street.
“Give it half an hour, and if you still hate it, we’ll turn around and I’ll take you for Starbucks,” Nash said, plying him with promises.
“Deal,” Ford said, resisting the urge to set a timer on his phone so he wouldn’t need to spend one second longer in nature than necessary.
They made their way past the metal gate and onto the trail, the uneven ground seemingly carved out of the forest. Fog hung low, obscuring the treetops and blocking out the sky as they walked uphill, deeper into the woods.
Ford was careful where he stepped, the pathway strewn with rocks and roots, making the terrain rough, which was irritating because despite his earlier reservations, the trail was beautiful and there was a lot to see. He was even warmer now that they were moving. If it weren’t for the bite to his nose and cheeks, he wouldn’t notice the cold at all.
They walked slowly so Ford could take in the sights without risk of breaking his neck. Ford removed one mitten and slid his hand into Nash’s, reluctant to admit that, in spite of himself, he was actually enjoying being out with Nash.
Other than the plank bridge that ran over a tiny creek, there was nothing to see for miles but wilderness. The air smelled fresh and earthy, and Ford wished he could bottle it. He’d never realized how much wild land surrounded the city. He couldn’t blame Nash for wanting to take advantage of it.
The trail was tricky in parts, and at one point, Nash led him off the main path toward another. In front of them stood a massive tree, easily ten times the size of the ones around it. It had to be at least five hundred years old, Ford figured. Nash read from the tattered pamphlet he’d brought, but it didn’t say how old the ancient tree was.
They’d been walking for close to an hour, and they hadn’t seen another soul since the small group of people they’d passed on their way in. It was tranquil. Even Ford was beginning to think this was a better idea than he’d originally assumed.
When they came upon Brothers Creek soon after, Ford leaned against the railing of the bridge, watching the water rush beneath it. The sound was calming. Suddenly Ford wished he could stay there forever.
Who knew he’d enter the forest a cranky, sullen idiot and leave a changed man?
“We’re halfway done, according to the map.”
“Already?” Ford asked.
Nash grinned wide. “Yep. You changing your mind about enjoying the great outdoors?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t?”
“Okay, this wasn’t as bad as I thought,” Ford admitted.
“And we haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”
“What’s that?”
“I wouldn’t dare spoil the surprise for you.”
Ford looked sideways at him.
“Let’s keep going. You won’t need to wait much longer. I promise.”