TJ was tiring. Baldock could see that by the crazy way he was running. Zig-zagging over the hillside, not knowing which way to go. Baldock tried to cut out the angles in his running, gaining on TJ steadily. The boy was running away from cover now, ever more desperate. Baldock wanted to shout out that running away made no sense but he didn’t have the breath.
TJ had changed direction and was climbing again. He was getting to the top of the hillside, where the ridge dropped down steeply on the other side. Baldock knew if he got over the top he might lose him again, so he put on a final spurt. His lungs were killing him and his legs were not much better. If he felt like this, how the hell was TJ still going? The kid had been a drug free zone for days, and had probably eaten nothing since he ran from Julie’s. Baldock could not understand the depth of TJ’s fear because he had never known it himself.
Baldock was only yards from TJ’s back now and he could hear the kid start to whimper. Seeing his chance as TJ stumbled, Baldock made a final dive. He grabbed the back of TJ’s jacket and pulled the boy down. The men lay on the hard ground, equally winded. Baldock did not even bother to hold onto TJ – the kid wasn’t going anywhere. After a minute TJ got to his knees and threw up, just missing Baldock.
‘Any of that goes over me and it will be even worse for you!’ Baldock shouted. ‘Where the hell did you think you were going, TJ? Eh?’
TJ wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.
‘I don’ fuckin’ know, do I?’
He sat back down with a dull look on his face. Eyes glazed but still alert. Baldock wondered where he’d seen that look before. It came to him. The local cattle he’d watch as a kid, when local farmers herded them onto slaughterhouse trucks. Cows wild-eyed with fear, as if they knew what was coming, as if they could smell it and were terrified, but also resigned.
Baldock softened his voice a little.
‘Relax, TJ. No one’s going to die.’
Baldock sat down next to TJ, three times his size.
‘What happened?’ Baldock muttered. ‘Did you stop growing at twelve? How big’s your father, anyway?’
‘I dunno.’
‘What you mean, you don’t know?’
‘I dunno who he was, do I. Mam said he could be one of three geezers an’ I only ever seen one of them.’
Baldock took out a packet of cigarettes and offered TJ one. He grabbed it greedily and held Baldock’s hand as he used his lighter. Baldock could feel the kid trembling. A shake that went all through his body. TJ sucked deeply on his smoke.
‘You ’avn’t got no dope on you, have you Baldock? It’ll take the edge off. I’m desperate, mun.’
‘Might have.’
TJ’s wild eyes became wilder.
‘Aw, come on, lemme score, Baldock. Look, I’ll do anything to make it up to you. I’ll work for nothing … anything.’
‘You’ll be asking me if I got anything to eat next.’
‘’Ave you?’
Baldock couldn’t help smiling. He took out a wrap and TJ snatched it from him. He also handed TJ the packet of cigarettes and papers and watched as TJ made up a joint. Despite his terror TJ’s work was immaculate. He made roll-ups like a machine. He lit up from the cigarette he was already smoking, inhaled and lay back.
Baldock wondered if TJ thought he’d got away with it, if he was going to forgive and forget. He wanted him calm, and this was the best way. He could feel tension leaving TJ as the dope took effect.
‘So, why’d you do it, TJ?’
‘I got mixed up, boss. I was going out with that piece Jade – you know what she’s like. Wants everything all the time, always on at me to get her things. So I started taking a bit off the top. I always planned to pay it back, I swear I did. The cow finished with me anyway – called me a loser, the bitch. By then I was in too deep.’
‘You sure were.’