‘What are you doing after work?’ Chloe asked the next morning, breezing over to Joe-Nathan and leaning over the end of his trolley.
‘Is that a trick question?’ said Joe.
‘Okay, so it’s Friday, you’re heading to the pub at five-thirty. Want company?’
‘I will go whether I have company or not,’ said Joe.
‘Okay, Prince Charming! What I’m trying to say is can I join you? And Pip’s been hassling me about quiz night, so she wants to come along too and talk strategy. You okay with that?’
‘Yes. That might be fun. I like strategy: the skill of making or carrying out plans to achieve a goal,’ said Joe.
‘Yeah, exactly what I was going to say. I’m glad you’re on my team, Einstein.’
‘Why?’
‘Because you’re clever.’
‘I have a very narrow range of knowledge, and I am slow, which is not ideal for quizzes. I pause TV quiz shows so I have time to answer before the contestant does. I do not know much.’
‘Between us we’ll be fine. See you later.’
It was a soothingly uneventful morning at work: no surprises, spillages or breakages and Joe’s mind wandered to the tube of arnica cream in his satchel. He was full of anticipation at the thought of giving it to Mean Charlie and imagined a scenario where he gave the cream to Charlie and Charlie smiled: a real smile. He might even pat him on the side of the arm, as men tended to do when they were thankful or grateful or pleased in some other way. Charlie might say thank you, or he might just nod a silent thank you, like they do in American movies; the kind of nod where everyone understands everything without words. Then Joe imagined asking him on Monday if the arnica had helped, and in his mind, Charlie said yes. This, Joe thought, would be a new beginning for them both.
At lunchtime, in the staff-room, Joe sat at his usual table and placed his lunchbox and a glass of water neatly in front of him. His packed lunch followed Janet’s instructions from the blue book:
KITCHEN
Food
Packed lunch: a sandwich or a wrap with cheese, ham or peanut butter (this is so you get carbohydrate and protein) – wrap it in foil or clingfilm before you put it in your lunchbox; a piece of fruit like an apple or a banana (they don’t need wrapping or a separate container); a salad item: carrot sticks or cucumber; a pre-wrapped chocolate biscuit like a KitKat or a caramel wafer. Take water instead of fizzy drinks or squash because water won’t stain things or make them sticky if they leak in your bag.
Janet had been careful to never include a boiled egg or tuna in his packed lunch, as these were smellier food items that could (and, at school, often did) invite insults and ridicule. They were things that Joe enjoyed, but only ever ate at home.
Joe laid out his packed lunch neatly on the table in front of him from left to right in the order that he was going to eat it: peanut butter sandwich (it was the easiest and tastiest sandwich to make); carrot sticks; KitKat; then the banana came last. Fruit was always eaten last because if he left chocolate to the end, then Joe found himself wanting to eat chocolate all afternoon. He drank a whole glass of water before he started; this was Janet’s suggestion; she said it would help fill him up and stop him eating his food too fast.
Joe didn’t mind if someone joined him at the table while he ate, but he didn’t like to talk or listen to them; he just wanted to concentrate on his food, so he was often at the table by himself, unless Chloe happened to have the same lunchbreak (which was rare) or Pip (both of whom had become used to talking and getting no response from Joe and were quite relaxed about that arrangement).
Mean Charlie came into the staff-room, put money into the vending machine, pressed some buttons and thumped the machine unnecessarily as a Lion bar dropped into the tray at the bottom. He stooped to retrieve it, ate it swiftly while he stood at the coffee machine and made himself a drink.
Joe felt his palms sweat. He had never initiated conversation with Charlie, and his habit was avoidance. Joe quickly made his way through his lined-up lunch items, reluctant to let Charlie leave before he’d given him the arnica. He ate his banana uncomfortably fast and wondered if it would ever go away, so determined it seemed to adhere to the roof of his mouth. Finally, he swallowed it down and washed it away with more water. He cleared his rubbish and took his lunchbox to his locker. He opened his satchel, put his lunchbox in and took the arnica cream out. While he did all this, he peered at Mean Charlie over the top of his locker door. Charlie caught him looking and tutted, then turned his attention to a magazine that was left on the table. Something caught his curiosity so that he didn’t notice Joe approaching until his shadow fell across the thing he was reading. Charlie looked up, and when neither of them spoke, Charlie shrugged and said, ‘Can I help you, young lady?’
‘It is me, Joe-Nathan,’ said Joe, pointing at his own chest.
‘Oh, yes, of course, I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.’
‘I have…’ Joe hesitated; he was distracted by the unexpected dialogue, which was nothing like he had imagined.
‘Yes?’
‘I have brought you something to help with your bruises,’ said Joe, focusing again, and he tried to smile. But he must’ve done it wrong because Charlie did not smile back; he looked horrified. Or maybe scared. Joe wished he had his expressions chart with him (the one he had used a lot when he was at school) to try to match Charlie’s expression with some emotion that made sense.
‘What’s that?’ said Charlie, looking at the tube that Joe was holding out, but not moving to touch or take it.
‘It is arnica cream, for bruises.’
Charlie just stared at Joe.
‘You rub it on and it can make them better quicker,’ Joe went on.
The door to the staff-room opened and a small group of people entered the room, including Owen, who glanced over at Charlie and Joe with questioning eyes. Charlie snatched the tube from Joe and shoved it between his legs.
‘Use it as soon as you can,’ said Joe.
‘Thanks,’ Charlie whispered hurriedly.
‘Am I helping you?’ said Joe, feeling that progress was being made.
‘What? Yes!’ Charlie was looking beyond Joe at Owen. ‘Go away.’
‘Okay,’ said Joe, and he made his way back into the store, even though his lunchbreak wasn’t over yet.
But before the door closed behind him, he heard Charlie say to Owen, ‘Big dope.’