CHAPTER 26 THROWING THE TEAPOT
We didn’t make much progress before the crowd’s uproar forced us to flee the serene hellhole. We sprinted across the street and collapsed at a table in a once-fancy hotel ballroom with yellowing tablecloths and dusty, faded tapestries. From our bird’s-eye view on the second floor, we watched the parkgoers resume their matchmaking. It made me want to keel over and empty the contents of my stomach.
I stared at the street as Yun signaled to the waiter for just tea—also without words.
Eventually Yun spoke first. “How could they do this to us? How could he not know me at all? I actually thought there was a chance he already knew.”
I didn’t have an answer for him, so we sat in silence as we sipped our oolong. Even though the steaming cup of familiarity brought some comfort, it was like trying to heal a broken bone with a Band-Aid.
“Maybe my father does know about me, and that’s why he did this,” Yun said, his voice muffled because his face was now buried in his folded arms.
I shook my head. “You don’t know that. Maybe he was shaken up by your mother’s death, or, I don’t know, maybe—”
Yun’s head popped up. “Don’t defend him! How would you feel if I told you right now that your mother was just looking out for you and wanted the best for you?”
“I’d want to throw this teapot across the room.”
We sank back into silence.
Ten minutes later Yun said, “I’m going to throw the fucking teapot.”
On the car ride back to Shanghai, I could feel the steam coming off Yun, a kettle on the lit burner. Mr. Lin peeked back at us periodically. Traitors, every last one of them. How many times had Mr. Lin driven Yun’s dad to the park?
In the elevator I reached over and squeezed Yun’s hand once, and though his eyes met mine for a moment, it was all he could give.
He burst into the apartment, and since his father was in the living room, I quickly ducked around the corner to the guest room.
“How could you?”
I heard some shuffling, then a muffled response. I may have inched into the hallway a couple steps.
“I went to the park, Dad!” Silence. Another barely audible response. “Stop lying to me!”
I inched a few steps farther, as far as I could go without being seen.
In a strained voice Mr. Kao, whose back was to me, said, “Your mother and I did this together.”
“That’s not possible. Her death was sudden.”
“We met through the park, son. Our parents, your grandparents, matched us up.”
Boom-boom goes the fucking dynamite.
“My parents were worried about my ability to find a partner because of my… deformity,” Mr. Kao continued. “And your mother’s parents were having a hard time finding her a suitor because she was so petite—such tiny hips. Her potential in-laws were worried she wouldn’t be able to bear children.”
Yun started and stopped a few times before saying, “But you were in love.”
“Yes, exactly. That’s why we talked about going that route for you, too—we’d been planning it since before you were born. Now that she’s not here, I’m sure this is what she would want—for you to be taken care of.”
“By you! Not the park and some stranger!” I flinched, even though he was exactly right and I didn’t want to be his beard. “Instead of being there for me, you spend your time either at work or making decisions for me behind my back.”
“Exactly—for you, Yun! Everything is for you!” Sounded familiar.
“We had enough money years ago, Dad. You’re just avoiding me.”
Mr. Kao exploded as if his pin had just been removed. “Have you ever thought that maybe I see her when I look at you? Who’s going to take care of me?” He broke down sobbing. “I had a tù chún! No one thought I could be loved, but your mother—”
“Oh shut up about your cleft lip already. It was only a thing because you allowed it to be.” More shuffling.
“I just wanted you to meet Ali. And you two seem to be getting along. At first I returned to the park just to remember her and feel her presence, but then I saw Ali’s ad, and I knew it was your mother telling me this was your soul mate. She was looking out for you, Yun, providing for you from the afterlife, pointing out the one Chinese-American ad in the whole park that was destined for you. Then when I learned that, generations ago, her family had been the first to matchmake there… it was even more of a sign. That’s why I flew her out here this week. So you could get to know her and fall in love. Ali’s mom and I have been trying to arrange it since our Indiana trip, because I couldn’t take off more time to go there again.”
His father seemed to be rambling in a spill-all way because he was uncomfortable, and with every new snippet of information, another puzzle piece slid into place. I wanted him to continue so I could fill in the entire picture, but then…
“Dad, I…” Yun took a shaky breath, and I sent him every good vibe I could, hoping he could somehow feel that I was there for him. “I… am…” And then the next part rushed out, replacing the intended word. “Not the marrying kind.”
On impulse I peeked my head around the corner, trying to tell Yun that if this was his moment, I was here, and if not, I was still here. When Yun’s and my gazes met, he said, his eyes still on me, “I’m gay, Dad. A hundred percent gay.”
I gathered up every ounce of support in my cells and shoved it onto my face in the shape of a sympathetic smile. Yun’s eyes left mine and returned to his father.
“Gay? No… you can’t be.”
And my heart sank into oblivion. I wanted to rush out and hug Yun, maybe shield him, but I rooted my feet in place—no moving unless he wanted me to.
Yun’s voice was as small as his hunched body looked. “Is that all you have to say?”
“I wish your mother were here.”
Yun’s face changed from hurt to disgusted. “You and me both.” He walked past me, telling me to pack my bags, then retreated to his room. By the time I’d shoved my few items into my duffel, Yun was already in the living room with a rolly suitcase.
“You keep a bag packed?” his father asked.
Yun’s tone was surprisingly even. “I had no idea when you would figure out I was gay, and I wasn’t sure if you’d let me stay here.”
Oh, my heart. If I flung myself over Yun, could I protect him from this?
As Yun rolled his way out the door, his father said, “Wait,” but it was so soft I wasn’t sure if Yun didn’t hear or if it wasn’t enough.
In the elevator, Yun’s spine straightened. “Let’s get out of here.”
“And go where?”
“Anywhere.” He pulled out a shiny black credit card from his pocket. “My dad’s treat. He won’t miss the money, trust me.”
And as soon as he said that, I heard my mǔqīn in my head: He didn’t come from a good family with money.… It’s hard to love anyone when you’re planning how you’re going to feed your daughter and provide for her future.
Then my great-uncle’s voice: Live.
I reached into my pocket and closed my fist around Gerald, Bernadette, Randolf, and Klondike. “I’m in.”
From: AliAliOxenFree@gmail.com
To: Chase.You@gmail.com
Time: 10:27 p.m. CST
Subject: I’m sorry
I’m coming back early and have so much to tell you. Would you want to meet me and Yun, our family friend, at the airport and explore Chicago a bit? I’ll forward the flight info to you. If you don’t or can’t, I totally get it—no explanation needed. Regardless, I can’t wait to see you. I really missed you.
Also… there’s another email coming your way that I should’ve already sent but couldn’t. For the record, though, I wrote it a while ago. A couple days after. Progress?
Ali/
/Living Proof That Mountains Can Be Moved
From: Chase.You@gmail.com
To: AliAliOxenFree@gmail.com
Time: 10:30 a.m. EST
Subject: Re: I’m sorry
I’m sorry too.
I’ll be there. (Always.) I CAN’T WAIT
Always,
Your Pink Teddy Bear