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I followed the rival club member and lost him in the tent. Stepping outside to see if he passed through, I spotted my daughter, Haven getting on the Ferris Wheel with one of Buzzard’s grandkids, Adan.
Buzzard was one of our oldest members. Used to be an officer until he was too old to ride much. A high school dropout, Adan was nineteen. What was worse, kid had been begging to prospect. He wanted to become a Royal Bastard. He even wore what looked like his granddad’s motorcycle gear as a costume. Haven as always was a beauty even as an evil fairy, but looked too grown up, having on dark makeup and red lips.
Jogging over, I couldn’t catch her before she went up and away with the boy. The adult man. The nineteen-year-old. Fuck. Smiling, Haven waved at me from the car. I gave her a knowing look. Adan dunked down to try to hide from me. That little motherfucker knew I didn’t want him anywhere near my daughter. I’d threatened him once. I was going to rip his balls off this time.
“How long is this ride?” I asked the operator.
“Twelve minutes.”
“I’m getting on this next one,” I told him in a voice that dared him to protest.
But the next one was already full.
“Get me on this ride.”
“Hold on,” he said. “There’s one more.”
I had to wait for the wheel to make a slow rotation.
“You’re cutting line,” a girl behind me grumbled.
Turning around, I saw five little girls in regular clothes, not costumes. They couldn’t be older than my daughter Angel who was eight. Hell, my girls were missing Halloween all because of Chloe’s fit. I had half a mind to leave and go get them.
“What makes you think you can skip in front of us, Boomer?”
“Well, you’re supposed to dress up.” Having three daughters, I knew how to deal with smart-mouthed little girls. “You lose your spot for that.”
“We are dressed up. It’s a group costume. What are you?”
“I’m a biker.” I tugged on my cut.
“Looks fake,” one of them said. “Biker, my ass.”
The others laughed. Little girls could be vicious.
Turning my head, I saw their moms off to the side shooting the shit while they waited. Some of these were Horror’s woman, Tonya’s kids. That explained the mouth on them.
“What are y’all supposed to be?”
“Think oldies.” They gave me a clue.
“An athlete? A singer? A witch? Union Jack t-shirt? What are you, the Village People?” I clapped back.
“We’re the Spice Girls,” they all said in unison.
Oh, an oldie from the nineties, boomer indeed.
They all made a face, spun their eyes, and continued to eat their orange and black cotton candy.
Someone poked my shoulder, and I turned to see Maren. Thank God.
“Want to go for a ride?” I asked her. The next empty car had finally arrived.
“Sure,” she said, like she wasn’t too sure. Staring up at the ride, she shook her head. “Actually, I don’t have time.”
My hands landed on her shoulders, and I rubbed. “You’re stressed. You need to unwind. It’s only about ten minutes.”
She breathed in deep. “Okay, I need a break.”
In the next second, we sat in the cart, my arm naturally going around her tiny body. The man closed the gate. We made it halfway around before I could spy on Haven.
“Isn’t that your daughter?” Maren pointed in front of us.
Haven was a couple cars ahead and couldn’t hear us because Bubba had started singing. Her head was in the crook of that boy’s neck.
“Where?” I looked over the side and the whole cart rocked.
“Fucking hell,” Maren shouted. “Don’t do that. Are you too big to be on this ride?”
Woman panicked.
“You’re scared of heights?”
“Not exactly. I took a bad fall on the trapeze. I’m scared of falling to my death. Why are you stalking your daughter?”
“I don’t want her to end up like her mom. Pregnant before she’s ready.”
“I hear you,” Maren said like she understood.
“You said you have a kid.” It was a question.
“I did?”
“You don’t think I remember?”
“You didn’t ask anything further.”
She was right. I hadn’t asked about it at the time. We were in a much different place. I’d just found out she was a spy. I wanted to fuck her but not get all the details.
“Yeah, I did have a kid.”
“So?” I expected her to go on.
Maren fiddled with the mood ring on her right hand. “So, I had a kid. I was seventeen. It was the reason I couldn’t compete in the Olympics that year. Found out I was pregnant. My career ended then.”
“I thought you said you were twenty-one when you stopped?”
“I lied,” she said.
Lied? Another lie. But this one felt like a slap in the face for some reason. Maybe because I knew her better now.
“I told the circus company that too. The truth is my mom made me put the baby up for adoption, and I spent three years in a mental institution afterwards. Not sure if they’re still called that, but you know what I mean. I was hospitalized for being. Unstable.”
“What?” I didn’t mean for it to come out like it did, as an exclamation, but it couldn’t be helped. With all the talk from Kingpin about carnies being crazy and all.
“That was seven years ago,” Maren tried to brush it off.
I tried not to focus on it. But I had to ask, “How were you unstable?”
“I tried to kidnap my daughter from her adoptive parents. Instead of jail, I was hospitalized. It was a dark time for me.”
“Where’s your daughter now?”
Maren took a minute to answer. “Last time I saw her, Galveston, Texas. But I didn’t try to take her again. I’m not crazy. But I was curious. I followed her mom, and she served me a strawberry margarita. My mom made me have her then give up my baby to be raised by a couple who got divorced three months later. She was being raised by a single mom who ended up waiting tables. No offense to her, but how was that any better than me?” Maren stopped abruptly. “I’m sorry. Your daughter seems sweet.”
“She is. A little too sweet. She’s sweet on that troublemaker there.” I pointed at them.
“How about you? Other than the dead sister, tell me how you’re screwed up, so I don’t feel too mortified right now.”
“You shouldn’t feel mortified. The things I’ve done to you, you think you should feel embarrassed? I know the ends and outs of your body. I’ve been inside you every night for two straight weeks.”
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“What’s to tell? My life story? My dad was an alcoholic, and my mother a whore. They split and split me between them, so I focused on swimming. I was fucking good at something, but I knocked up my girl. She’s a bitch, you met her.”
“Yeah, what a bitch.” Maren touched her sore eye, agreeing with me.
“We had a kid too young. I was always on the road and Haven barely had a dad for the first part of her life. Chloe hated me for it. My folks got back together and became Born-again Christians. They disowned me after I was banned from competing and became a biker. Even after I finally married Chloe like they always said I should. Jesus forgave them, but they had no forgiveness for me. You don’t want to know what they thought after my sister died how she did. They suspected me. Not that it was my fault, because by all accounts it was, but that I had somehow done it myself. They live right here in Nashville and have never met some of their grandkids.”
“That’s awful. My dad was an alcoholic too. He used to beat my mom. Mom pretended it didn’t happen and lived through my gymnastics. He would beat me too. And I had to fight him.”
“That’s why you didn’t want me to stop Chloe from beating your ass?”
“Your wife? She wouldn’t have. And yes, partly.”
“You bothered that I’m married?”
“Why would I be? This arrangement. It’s not real.”
I took her hand. “Things are only as real as we make them,” I said, surprising the fuck out of myself.
Maren said nothing.
I changed the subject. “So, who was the dad?”
Maren didn’t answer.
“Some young bad boy like that kid riding with my daughter?” I tried again to ask about the father of her baby.
“No.”
“Come on. I won’t get jealous,” I said, playfully kissing her hair. I ran my hand up her shirt.
She knocked it away. “Just drop it.”
“Are you okay today?”
“No. I thought I would be. I was really excited about this carnival, but it’s just a fantasy.” Maren teared up. She wiped her eyes with her long sleeve. “Tomorrow, I don’t know what’s going to happen or if I’ll ever see you again or if I’ll even be living.”
Her words touched me. Broke my heart. I’d planned to betray her but just so I wouldn’t get played. Now, there was no need. I’d stay on alert, and we’d take care of the Asphalt Gods tomorrow like I told her to tell them. I had to trust her because I wouldn’t give her over to my club.
Taking her face in my hands, I made her look at me. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you,” I said.
I felt the sentiment rumble deep within me. My lips fell to hers, and we kissed for the first time. I’d not even realized until that very moment I hadn’t kissed her once on her lips. Maren responded, her kiss so soft and sweet, but not like I thought she would. While I felt fireworks, she was timid.
She pulled away, apologizing.
“No, I’m sorry. You’re crying. I shouldn’t have,” I said.
It was the wrong time.
Maren only cried harder, but she quickly settled. “I’m alright.”
I tried to make light of it, to make her smile. “Is this about your baby daddy?” I joked.
“No. You want to know who the father was? My dad.”
Bile rose in my throat. Not only did that break my heart. It broke my soul.
“I’m so sorry,” I tried, but it would never be enough. I hoped the fucker was dead. If not, he’d be at the top of my list.
“It’s okay. It took a long time to get over. It took me a long time to realize I enjoy sex and kinks because I’m an adult with natural needs. It has nothing to do with him or anything else. I don’t want to think of it ever again in my life. That’s why I don’t tell anyone about it. I don’t want to have lived it. I didn’t want to have his baby of course, but my mother made me lie about the father and have it.”
“He live here in Nashville?” I asked, honestly thinking of ending an old man’s life. When she didn’t answer, I repeated myself, “I’m sorry.”
“Just don’t say anything, okay. I’m done talking.” Maren laid her head on my chest. We finished the ride in silence.
When the ride stopped and we got off, I saw Haven walk off hand and hand with that boy. But I couldn’t leave Maren. There were plenty of my brothers who would have an eye out for my daughter.
“Now, what can I help with?” I focused on Maren.
Her mood had improved drastically. “I’ve got something special for you. Something you’ll be perfect for. Just please be a good sport. Remember, it’s for the kids.”
Maren led me to a large tank of water. “A dunk tank? You expect me to sit in this damn thing?”
“Come on. You’ll look great doing it. You’ve got this sea creature all over you. When a kid dunks you stay under as long as you can then pop up and scare the shit out of them. Okay?”
“You’ve thought this through? Planned it?”
“The whole time. Please,” she begged.
“What will you do for me later?” I said my voice pure sex.
“Anything,” she said, like she meant it.
“Anything?”
“Anything, but no butt stuff.”
“Okay, but I’ll think of what later.”
Maren turned to leave.
“Wait. Where are you going? Are you just trying to get away from me?” To betray me, I wanted to ask, but that didn’t feel right anymore.
“As much as I would love to stay and witness this, I’ve got to go check on everyone else. Opry’s not doing a damned thing. He’s not even speaking to me for some reason. Then I have to get dressed, do my hair and makeup. I go on at eight. I’m the opener for this evening’s festivities.”
“You’ll be free after that?”
“Yes. After that I’m done. I couldn’t care less after dark. I’m going to hand over the baton to Memphis. She can run the rest. She wants to, she said.”
Nice that Memphis was coming around.
“You can come help me undress.”
“I guess I’ll catch you at your show then.”
Maren turned again, but I caught her.
“What?” She grumbled.
Holding her to me, I brushed back her hair.
She looked at me puzzled.
Maren was so beautiful, inside and out. I’d been all over her, inside her. She had me wrapped around her finger. And she had a hold of my heart.
“What else could you possibly want,” she droned.
I wanted her. All of her. I wanted her to stay with me, not at the dunk tank, but here at Royal Road. But I had no time to tell her. It was her time to shine. She’d worked so hard planning this party. I’d confess my feelings later.
“You can’t leave until you’ve kissed me.”
We kissed, but her smile ruined it and made it perfect at the same damn time.
“You know what’s sexier than helping a woman undress? You can come help me dress,” she said.
“Like lace up your corset kind of shit?”
“Yeah, that kind of shit,” Maren said as she bounced away.
