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★☆★☆★
On the drive to my apartment, she had explained that Aiden was at his dad’s until Thanksgiving. She was alone for the next three weeks. Well, no, she wasn’t going to be. I wasn’t going to let her out of my sight for a minute. We both had to work, but every moment we weren’t working, I would make sure she’d be here with me.
We got out of the truck and into my apartment. I was glad it was clean. Frankly, aside from working out at the gym, I hadn’t had much time to do anything but keep it clean. I was certainly done partying and going to clubs with my friends. I stayed out of public as much as I could. As I closed the door behind us, I dropped my keys and her suitcase to the floor and swooped her up into my arms. She let out a giggle, not breaking my stare, and I carried her to my room.
I saw her look around, and as I set her on the bed, I took both my hands and slowly slid the leather jacket off her shoulders. It landed on the bed behind her, and I threw it onto the chair. My eyes took in her beautiful features that I had missed for so long. I touched her longer hair and traced a finger down her neck. Then my eyes trailed to the necklace she wore.
I looked into her green gaze, my fingers still on the necklace. “You kept it?”
She looked a little bemused. “Of course. What else would I have done with it?”
I grinned, remembering how she’d sold the ring her ex had given her in Reno during our weekend together. “Well, you do like to hock jewelry from men who have wronged you.”
She touched it again and whispered, “I couldn’t.”
That made me happy. I guessed she was just selectively sentimental.
Then she looked up at me. “You don’t understand how it’s killed me to live here, Riley, knowing you were so close, and I couldn’t have you. I was terrified I’d run into you and your girlfriend.”
I just stared at the hurt and pain in her eyes. I had damaged her so badly. What had I been thinking? What an idiot. I couldn’t believe I’d caused her so much pain. I hated myself for it, and I planned on making it up to her.
“The envelope you left me, it got me through a lot of hard times and lonely nights.”
I smiled. “I’m so glad. That’s why I left it for you, beautiful.”
“I’m not gonna lie, I was kind of surprised you’d kept that stuff.”
I looked at her, both confused and amused. “What? A couple of concert ticket stubs and a cocktail napkin?” I smiled at the memory of how I had written her name all over a napkin at a bar/restaurant in Reno. I went to throw it away and she had stopped me. So I had folded it up and put it in my pocket. I could see she was surprised I had kept it. I had also printed out two photos of myself in uniform, which sounds kind of douchebagish, but she always complimented me in them, so I had to leave her a picture of me in them.
“It was very sweet, as was the card they were in.”
“You still have them?” I asked, amused.
She smirked. “Maybe.”
God, she was so cute. So the same. She hadn’t changed at all, except for the pain I’d put in her eyes that I would spend every minute trying to erase. I just couldn’t believe she still wanted me. I saw her staring at me, and then she said something that stopped my heart.
“I still love you, Riley. I never stopped.”
All those months, all the times I had told her I loved her... and she never said it back. To hear the words, they were the music that warmed my blood and made me want to break down. They healed my shattered heart, and nothing would ever sound as beautiful as those words had in that very moment. But... my joy was short-lived. I had to tell her. I had to drop the bombshell on her.
My smile fell. “Cara, the scars weren’t the only reason I stayed away.”
Her face paled, and she frowned. “What?”
“Cara... fuck.” I paused, trying to get the words out.
“Just spit it out, okay, Riley?”
I blew out a breath. “Cara, I can’t have kids.”
She looked confused. “What? I don’t understand.”
I explained what the doctor had told me, the best I could. Then she seemed to be contemplating something. She looked a little sad, but she also looked like she was fighting a war inside of her. She never broke my stare, and I searched her beautiful eyes for some sort of clue as to what she was thinking. Was this it? Was she going to walk out of my room and demand I take her home? Was she going to realize that between that and the scars, it was too much and leave?
Finally, she spoke. “I don’t care, Riley. That doesn’t make me want you any less. You think you’re damaged and broken—but who isn’t? I certainly am. My scars are on the inside. They’re my souvenirs from journeys I’ve taken in life. I’ve been through a lot in my life, and those treasured scars are the reminders that life is precious. These,” she said, running soft touches over the scars on my chest, and this time, I let her touch me, “are yours. They will remind you that you can’t take anything for granted. You lost me, you lost your friends, and you almost lost your life. But you were given a second chance. Are you going to live your life and enjoy everything it has to offer, or will you continue to hide under that hoodie and think nobody wants to see you? You should be proud of that, not ashamed.”
My throat forgot how to swallow, and my heart clenched in my chest. I could feel the shattered organ being knit back together, healing one stitch at a time. I had never heard such beautiful words come from such a beautiful person before. What in the hell did I do to deserve such a kind soul? How in the world did she still want me? I didn’t deserve her, but she seemed unable to live without me. I knew the feeling.
I put my forehead against hers. I couldn’t stand it any longer. I leaned in and sealed my mouth over hers slowly. She let out a sigh and melted into my mouth, her arms finding my neck. I pulled her closer to me, as close as she could get, and continued to kiss her. Her mouth was warm and soft, and it was pure ecstasy to be kissed like this. It had been so long, too long...
She lay back on the bed and I yanked my shirt off. Her eyes scoured the length of my torso, then she looked into my eyes and smiled. She touched me, running gentle fingers over the hideousness that was the left side of my body. I slid a hand up her shirt and rubbed my fingers along the flat of her stomach and then up to her bra. I looked back into her face and saw a tear escape, and became alarmed.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, swiping her sadness away with my thumbs.
“Nothing. Nothing at all. Please just don’t leave me or hurt me again.”
I grinned into her mouth and whispered, “I’m yours as long as you’ll have me.”
I threw her shirt off and unhooked her bra, setting her free. I stared at her beautiful body. It had been so long, even though I hadn’t forgotten a single inch of her body, no matter how much I had tried. I unsnapped her jeans and pulled them down over her long legs. I ran my fingers on the inside of her thighs and found her soft, wet core that I had missed so much. She bowed off the bed and moaned my name.
I yanked my pants off, and as I leaned a knee on the bed between her legs, she opened her arms. She must have missed my touch as much as I missed hers. I lay on top of her and settled my mouth over hers again, my tongue snaking into her hot mouth.
“Make love to me, Riley. I need you so much.”
My body shuddered as she breathed it into my ear.
I was inside her before she finished the sentence. My whole body erupted into goosebumps, and the heat from her body melted into mine, lighting that familiar fire I hadn’t felt in so long. I squeezed my eyes shut and buried my face in her neck, inhaling her scent and basking in her groans. We were intertwined like the long-lost lovers we were, and the rest of the world fell away and ceased to exist. I briefly saw more tears drip from Cara’s eyes. I hoped they were happy tears, so I gripped her tighter as I continued to pleasure her with my body. She moaned out my name as her hips met mine in perfect time, and I soon followed. In a shuddering release of pleasure, we were groaning and completely and utterly happy. I collapsed on top of her hot, heaving body and kissed her mouth again.
“I love you so much,” I said, smoothing some golden hair from her eyes.
She smiled. “I love you, too, Riley Forrester.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. I would never get used to the sound of that, and even though I didn’t deserve her love, I was selfishly going to take it.
★☆★
It felt like hours that we just lay there, tangled up together, talking about my new tattoos, her chatting about Aiden, and just catching up. She told me about her job at a prison in a town south of here, and when she told me they were male prisoners, I frowned.
“It’s okay, really. They leave me alone for the most part. Besides, I do their release and transfer paperwork. They’re nice enough to me since they think I actually have control over their release dates.” She laughed.
It didn’t make me feel any better. I hoped one day she could quit that job and do something else. Although the more she talked about it, the more I thought she actually might like her job, and I would never tell her what to do as long as she was happy.
Then she asked me, “Are you still in the Army?”
I nodded. “Yes, they tried to get me to discharge, but I fought it. I reenlisted for fulltime duty.”
She frowned and said nothing.
“You okay with that? I’m in for life if they’ll let me.”
She shrugged. I was pretty sure she loved me being in the Army about as much as I loved her working in a prison.
I grinned. “Come to Tucson with me for Thanksgiving.”
Her pale eyebrows went up. “Seriously?”
“Yes, meet my parents and my brother. They will love you.”
She smiled. “Okay.”
I hopped off the bed and put my shorts back on, then I went to my sock drawer and pulled out the little velvet bag. I took a big, deep breath and turned around to see Cara with my Stetson hat on. Naked.
I sucked in a breath. “Damn, baby. That’s hot.”
She pulled the sheet up to cover her as she sat up, and I sat on the bed next to her. “You sure you’re in this for life, beautiful?”
She looked a little confused, then nodded. “Yeah. What’s that?” She pointed at the bag.
“Cara Reid, will you marry me?” I pulled the ring out and watched as the diamond caught the light.
Shock lit up her face, and her mouth dropped open. Boom! Desired response!
“I thought you said you just thought about buying me a ring when you were overseas.”
I chuckled. She had a point. I shrugged my scarred shoulder. “More lies.”
“Why didn’t you return it?”
“I couldn’t,” I whispered with a head shake. “I just couldn’t.”
She stared at the beautiful ring and seemed speechless. Tears once again dripped out of her eyes.
“You didn’t answer my question, pretty girl,” I chastised.
She nodded. “Yes, Riley. Of course I’ll marry you!”
My heart soared, and I had to swallow down a sob—no more fucking crying. I was done with that. Happy or not, I was done with tears. A new chapter was beginning in my life.
I slipped the ring on her finger and gently pushed her back on the bed. We spent the rest of the day and the entire night making up for lost time. I wasn’t even sure we bothered to eat anything.