5.

Darlinghurst Gaol, Sydney

7 December 1888

It is late and the court is only just finishing.

Today has been the same stories from the other trials and talk of how both my husbands died. There is nothing new among the stories except that they are made bigger with each telling. One witness remembers more gossip each time she takes the stand, and flutters and preens with the excitement of it.

I am on trial for murdering Michael, but the lawyers have been talking of Charles and how they dug up his body and what they found when they did.

Someone said he knew a case where there was no arsenic in a body when it was dug up, but it was known the man was killed by arsenic. So what does it matter that they find arsenic with their tests or if they find none at all; they suppose I killed Charles all the same. But this trial is for murdering Michael, so I do not know why they are even talking of Charles on any account. They are just wanting to tell the jury I done it to a husband before, most likely.

Some of the witnesses have given evidence time and time again, at both inquests and each of the trials. The doctor, the one who gives the evidence about the bodies, he did not seem to take kindly to being called for another trial.

I suppose it is not convenient for that sort of doctor to have to stop his work and come to court again and read his words from his notebook. He would not like to keep his dead bodies waiting.

Alice and I walk back through the tunnel this evening and Warder Crisp is again our escort. He is waiting in the tunnel when the officer brings Alice and me down, direct from the court. Because the hour is late, the tunnel is very dark, and I can’t see the rats. While Crisp locks the gate, Alice and I hurry along, but as we near the steps at the other end Crisp pushes himself between us and he speaks very badly to Alice; there is no escaping his nasty tongue.

We see a light. The Female Governor stands behind the gate at the top of the stairs and I think she has heard Crisp’s words for she is scowling. Crisp fumbles finding the key to the gate. By her lamp, I see he has gone red in the face, but it may be from his exertions.

The Female Governor barks at Warder Crisp that he may walk behind and follow us to the female cells, given the lateness of the hour. We women walk quickly. I hear Crisp’s wheezing as he tries to keep up with us.

When we reach the big doors at the entrance of the female cell block the Female Governor turns and dismisses Crisp. She opens the doors with her own keys and we enter. Alice signs me in at the office and the Female Governor tells me there is dinner waiting for me in the exercise yard as I have missed the evening meal. Alice and I head to the long tables, and I eat from the bowl that has been left for me. The food is now cold, but it is there and put before me and so I eat.

Alice sits on the chair and she wrings her hands in her lap. I look at her and she looks back at me. We do not speak.

Then Alice walks me to my cell and locks me in. I use the slop bucket, and speak to Flora, who has woken and asks how the day has gone as though I have been on an outing to the seaside. I begin to tell her when there is a key in the door of the cell, and the door is opened by Alice and behind her is the chaplain, Canon Rich.

I bend my head to smooth my dress.

He says a few words of greeting to Flora, and she steps up from her bed and speaks with him.

Then he turns to me and the slop bucket is in the corner and I have just finished using it and the smell in this summer heat is none too pleasing. I am barely accustomed to it myself.

He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and places it upon his nose, making a small noise as though he is about to sneeze, but I think he is trying to mask his displeasure at the smell.

So I play along with his game, and wait for his sneeze to happen.

He makes a pretence of wiping his nose.

Good evening, Mrs Collins, he says.

And I say, Evening, sir.

You had a long day in court, he says.

I think of watching my May in the witness box.

Yes, it was a long day. I nod again. Yes, sir.

And how did this day go for you, do you think? Does the matter progress in your favour?

I give a shrug. I could not say, sir.

He nods. No doubt you are tired after the day, he says. Well, I shall let you get your rest, Mrs Collins, and I shall call on you again tomorrow. And he gives a little prayer for Flora and me and we stand still and listen to his words.

The slop bucket smells.

He finishes his prayer and then he steps from our cell into the corridor and Alice shuts and locks the metal door. I hear them murmuring together as they walk away and, though I press my ear to the door, I cannot make out what it is they are saying.