An hour later, flushed and wearing leggings underneath a loose dress, I walked into the restaurant with Slash. The smell of fried chicken and mashed potatoes hit me instantly.
“Oh my God,” I moaned. “I’m about to go feral for fried chicken.”
“Let’s get you fed.”
Linden and Boxer were already at a table with two pints of beer in front of them.
Slash released my hand so I could slide into the seat across from them and he quickly sat next to me. “Sorry we’re late,” I said.
“Don’t worry about it,” Linden replied. “Hope you don’t mind, but we grabbed a round of drinks and ordered hush puppies and corn biscuits for appetizers.”
“That totally works for me,” I said. “I might eat an entire chicken all by myself.”
Neither Linden nor Boxer smiled at my quip.
“I need to talk to you about some club shit,” Boxer said to Slash.
Slash paused, looking from Linden to Boxer who weren’t even paying attention to one another.
“Sure,” Slash said.
The two Blue Angels got up and headed toward the exit.
When they were gone, I looked at Linden and asked, “Okay, so what’s up?”
“Up?”
“Yeah, up. You guys seem mad at each other.”
“We are mad at each other.” She reached for her beer and took a sip. “We got into a fight before we left the house.”
“About what?”
“Marriage.”
“I don’t get it. You’re engaged, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So naturally that means marriage is the next step. He’s upset about that?”
“No. I am.”
The server came by to ask for my drink order.
“Water’s fine, thanks,” I said. “And may I have another?” I pointed to the empty seat next to me. “For him when he gets back.”
When we were alone again, I looked at Linden and waited patiently for her to explain.
“I want to marry Boxer. I do. I wouldn’t have said yes to the engagement if I hadn’t wanted that.”
“Then what is it?”
“He’s ready to set a date. I’m not.”
“Why not?” I asked. “What’s stopping you?”
“A lot of things. I don’t get along with my parents, so do I invite them out of obligation or snub them entirely and that’s the end of our chilly relationship? Then there’s the fact that once you get married, there will be all this pressure…”
“Pressure to do what?”
“Start a family.”
“Ah.” I nodded.
“Yeah. And frankly, I’m not ready for that. I like my life the way it is. I like that I can work at the clinic as much as I want. I’m not ready to slow down. I’m not ready for something else to be a priority.”
I blew out a breath of air. “Yeah. That’s a tough one.”
“What would you do? If you were me?”
“Well, I kind of am you,” I said with a laugh. “I mean, not the marriage thing. But the baby thing. My business is just starting to do well. Like, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel of not being completely stuck in the financial hole of starting your own business. I have momentum and something amazing is happening right now when I happen to be pregnant, and if I can keep it going… Have you heard of Imogene Oglethorpe?”
“Name sounds familiar. Why?”
“Her wedding is in three weeks,” I said, and then I explained the entire situation, including the emails and the notifications on social. “I know I’m supposed to slow down, but like, how can I? I’ll have to slow down at some point, but right now, it’s like full steam ahead. What I’m trying to say is I know exactly what it’s like to want to focus on your career. For me, I’m just past the point of choosing how it unfolds now.”
“I want little Boxer babies eventually,” she said quietly. “I really do. I’m not saying no to him. I just want to stay in this place a little while longer.”
“If he really loves you, he’ll wait until you’re ready.”
“He really loves me,” she said with a smile. “He really does. I really love him. I just…”
“I know.”
She looked at the table. “I feel kind of alone, sometimes. Mia’s got kids. Darcy’s got kids. Joni is having a kid. Allison has one. You’re pregnant. And me…I have a dog. I sound like I’m lost. I sound like I don’t know what I want, but I do. I just have this wonderful man who wants something I’m not ready to give.”
“Did you want kids? I mean, was that something you ever saw yourself doing before you were part of the club?”
“I guess. Maybe? In the way distant future? But now it is the future. It’s here, right now, this moment. My ovaries are like, shit or get off the pot, but my work ethic and ego are like No! Devote more time to the clinic you love!”
I sniggered. “You already devote a lot of time to the clinic. How can you do more?”
“There’s always more,” she said. “Always.”
The server returned with the glasses of water, along with our appetizers. She set them down in the center of the table and then disappeared.
“What is it about the Blue Angels men?” I asked, reaching for a steaming piece of cornbread. “Slash mentioned a wedding earlier. But, like, trying to be sneaky to feel out what kind of wedding I want. I mean, he hasn’t even proposed and he’s fishing around about a wedding?”
“If he proposed, what would you say?” she asked in amusement.
“She’d say yes,” Slash said as he approached the table.
“Do you have X-ray hearing?” I demanded.
“It’s X-ray vision, babe. Hearing would be something different entirely,” Slash said in amusement as he slid into the booth next to me.
Boxer plopped down next to Linden and draped an arm around her shoulders. “You told Brooklyn what happened between us?”
“Yes,” Linden said. “I needed another opinion.”
“Did she convince you to set a wedding date?” he asked lightly.
Linden sighed in exasperation. “No.”
“So, we’re still at a standoff?
“Yup,” she said.
“Are you mad enough to make me sleep on the couch?” he asked.
“I’m not mad,” she protested. “I just need more time. Can we please talk about something else? Anything?”
Boxer reached for a hush puppy. “Monk wants a brother. He told me.”
“You’re impossible,” Linden said to him, but she laughed as she said it.
“You mean impossibly charming,” he stated.
“You’re quiet,” Slash said, reaching over and setting his hand on my thigh.
I was staring out the window as Slash drove us home, lulled by good food and spending time with friends who were rapidly becoming some of my favorite people to be around.
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“How easy this all is,” I said, looking at him. “I thought it was going to be difficult. But it’s not, Slash. It’s just not.”
He squeezed my leg and then put his hand back on the wheel.
“You’re not what I thought,” I said quietly. “They’re not what I thought, either.”
“The Blue Angels?”
“Yeah. You’re all like…wicked protective and loyal. And not at all gun-shy about settling down. Even you. Mr. Nomad.”
He didn’t say anything for a long while. When we turned down the street to our rental, he finally spoke. “It’s easier, you know? Not to care. Not to get involved. To be a rolling stone and to live your life on your terms. To not make sacrifices. To not let anyone in. It’s easier. But it makes for a very lonely existence.”
I swallowed. “Are you with me because you don’t want to be lonely?”
He pulled up to the curb outside the house we shared.
“No. I’m with you because for the first time in a long time, I want to stay put. You make me want to stay, Brooklyn.”
I sighed and smiled at him dreamily.
And then his phone rang.
He reached into his leather cut and pulled it out. Slash stared at the screen for a moment and then said, “I gotta take this. Club shit.”
Nodding, I got out of the car and went inside, leaving him to his phone call. I was full and happy, and I wanted to spend the rest of the night on the couch with Slash, laughing and talking about the future.
He came in a few minutes later, his expression a bit vacant.
“Everything okay?” I asked.
“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. It’s fine.”
I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I also knew not to ask. He was allowed his privacy, just like I was allowed mine.
“I’ve got to go up to Idaho for club business. I’ll be on the road for two weeks,” he said when we were in bed. My head was on his chest and his arm was wrapped around me.
“Hmm. Okay,” I said sleepily.
“You’re not going to give me shit about it?”
“Am I supposed to give you shit?” I asked in surprise. I lifted myself up and stared in the general direction of his face. There was a little light from the bedroom window, but otherwise it was dark.
“I expected it.”
“When have I ever given you shit when it came to club stuff?” I demanded.
“Good point.”
“Besides, it’s not like I’ll be sitting at home waiting for you. I’m about to have a very busy few weeks. You wouldn’t see much of me even if you were in town.”
“Yeah, about that—”
“I can handle it.”
“I know you can handle it. That’s not what I was going to say.”
“Oh, what were you going to say?”
“Jesus, woman, will you let me talk?” he grumbled.
“Sorry, go ahead.”
“Take care of yourself, yeah? That’s all I was going to say.” He settled his hand on my hip and then slid it to my belly.
“I’ll take care of myself,” I promised. “And the baby. You don’t have to worry.”
“I worry. I worry all the time,” he muttered.
“You do?”
“Of course I do. If I had it my way you’d be walking around in a protective bubble or carried on one of those platforms like an ancient Roman princess.”
“How would that even fit in the car?” I asked. “You’re being sweet. A little overprotective, but sweet. I’m young. I’m healthy. Everything is good. You being out of town doesn’t change that.”
“So what you’re saying is, I can’t control everything, so I need to chill the fuck out?”
“Something like that.”
“Yeah, not going to happen.”
I chuckled and settled back down, but then I sobered. “I worry every time you get on your motorcycle.”
“Have you ever been on a motorcycle?”
“I haven’t even been on a scooter,” I quipped.
He tangled his fingers in my hair as he spoke. “It’s freedom, babe. It’s open road, sun on your back, just you and the pavement. Just you and your thoughts. One day after the baby’s born, I’ll get you on the back of my bike and I’ll show you what it’s all about. I live for the moment when you’re on the back of my bike with your legs wrapped around me and we’re riding up the California 1 with the wind in our faces and the sunshine and ocean spray on our skin.”
“Sounds like a dream,” I murmured, settling back down against him.
I fell asleep happy, knowing that some dreams really did come true.