After dinner, Olivia and I went to hang out in her garage. Her grandfather kept a cool old car in there, plus a dusty old couch, some other random furniture, and about thirty fishing poles hanging from the rafters. It was a nice place to get away from the prying eyes of my brother.
“This plan may not work,” Amp admitted as he examined Olivia’s grandfather’s tools. He found a screwdriver that was twice as tall as he was. He dragged it over to the walkie-talkie. He wanted to take off the back cover, but the screwdriver was too big for him to handle. I had to pluck it away before he hurt himself. I opened the back of the walkie-talkie while he walked in circles around it.
“I don’t see how a walkie-talkie that can only work to the end of the street can call all the way back to Erde,” Olivia said.
“Yeah, Amp, this seems like one of your dumber ideas,” I said.
“I beg your pardon,” Amp said, putting his hands on his hips and glaring at me. “I do not have ‘dumb ideas,’ young earthling.”
“Oh, so now I’m ‘young earthling’?” I said, looking at Olivia and rolling my eyes. “Get a load of Mr. Bossy Blue Pants over here.”
“Yes, as I was saying, it may not work,” Amp sighed. “But it is worth a try. I think I can connect this device to the damaged quantum radio on the Dingle.”
“On the what?” I croaked.
“What’s a dingle?” Olivia asked.
Amp stared at us, his mouth hanging open. “I never told you?”
“Told us what?” Olivia said. “About your dingle?”
He stood up as tall as he could and lifted his chin high in the air. “The Dingle, may I inform you, is my spaceship,” he said.
Olivia and I both cracked up.
“That is the worst name ever for a spaceship,” Olivia said.
“Was the Fart Rocket already taken?” I laughed.
“How about the Nerdy Erde Express?” Olivia said, cracking us up even more.
“Go ahead and laugh it up,” Amp said, clearly offended. “I’m stranded on this primitive planet and may not be able to prevent it from being invaded, but please, have a good laugh at my expense.”
“Don’t be so dang sensitive,” I said. “But seriously, a walkie-talkie? There’s got to be a better way.”
“Yeah, how about smoke signals?” Olivia said.
“Or one of those carrier pigeons with a note tied around its leg,” I said.
“Why don’t we tie a note to a rock and throw it real hard?”
“You two are ridiculous,” Amp fumed. “Always thinking small. Never considering the brains, wisdom, and creativity of my civilization.”
I groaned. “Get off your high horse, short man. Our civilization would never name a spaceship the Dingle.”
“Or visit another planet in a junky ship that can’t make the return trip.”
Amp waved at us in irritation and stared at the exposed guts of the walkie-talkie.
Amp seemed to get lost in examining the tiny parts of the device for a second time. After a few minutes, he looked up at us. “Where did you two get these walkie-talkies?”
“They’re actually not ours,” Olivia said.
“We get them for the Young Volunteers,” I said. “For when we’re working at events.”
“They give us the walkie-talkies so they can tell us where to go and where we’re needed,” Olivia said. “It’s a lot like jail, but they give you a radio.”
“You both have a curious view of community service for your fellow humans.”
I ignored his observation. “We have to return them when our prison sentence is up.”
“But they let you keep them between events?” Amp asked.
“Yep,” Olivia and I said at the same time.
Learning from experience, I leaped out of the way before Olivia could give me another charley horse. “Jinx!” she cried, but her knuckles missed their target.
I stuck my tongue out and danced a little. “Strike one, slowpoke.”
“Please, you two, you’re acting like children!”
“Last time I checked,” Olivia said, “we were children.” Then she started dancing and sticking her tongue out at me.
“Stop doing that!” Amp said. “You are making it hard to concentrate. I need to borrow one of these,” Amp continued, putting the cover back on the walkie-talkie. He left it to me to put the screws in. “If my calculations are correct, I can connect it to the quantum radio on my ship and bypass the parts that aren’t working. When is your next community activity?”
“Three days,” Olivia said. “We’re working at a half marathon race downtown.”
“I’m in charge of all the portable toilets,” I admitted.
“How exciting,” Amp said flatly. “I should know before then if it’s working or not. I’ll return your walkie-talkie at the event.”
“Okay, just don’t start quite yet,” I said. “Olivia and I need to have a chat tonight about a spider.”
“Okay,” he said in a strange, faraway voice. “I’ll start first thing tomorrow morning, while you two are in school.”
I should have known then that Amp had no intention of keeping his word. How do you know when a blue alien is lying to you? His lips are moving.