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The hotel was empty when we arrived. Berry growled his irritation before beelining for the patio. Then the grumphead growled at me until I opened the door and he could go out to lie out in the sun.
“Bad mood?” Foster asked, looking at him.
“Mad I made him stay in Judah’s car when I was in danger. It is fine. He will get over it. Just don’t approach him for a few hours. He might bite your hand off.”
“You aren’t kidding, are you?”
“I can’t joke like that. It is perceived as a lie.”
“Ah, right.” He grabbed my hand and yanked me toward my suite.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“Taking care of my girl. A hot bath is good for the stress. You’re still stiff and I hate seeing you like that. You need to relax.”
“I can do that myself.”
“Josie”—he turned to me on the stairs, expression serious—“I am going to take care of you.”
I looked down at his shirt. “Only if you let me return the favor.”
He grinned wide. “Deal.”
Once we got to the massive bathroom, I made Foster sit on the bench while I dug through the cupboards. The first aid kit was underneath the sink.
“Take your shirt off,” I said, digging through the contents, grabbing everything I wanted.
“I like where this is going.”
I snickered. “Mind right to the gutter. Why am I not surprised?”
“Only with you, Josie.”
I pretended to fish something out of the container to hide the goofy smile on my face. Foster had a way of making me feel like I was still the same Josie from ten years ago. Once I gathered everything, I turned and raised an eyebrow.
“I said your shirt, not your other clothes.”
“I’m still wearing my boxers.”
“I can see that.” My gaze dropped down to the bulge pressing against his boxer briefs. My mouth watered as I took in Foster’s amazing physique. His profession kept him in top shape, and he looked delicious without clothes. He was playing a dangerous game, putting all of himself on display. He should have been worried that I’d want to eat him up.
Foster was a powerful man. It showed in the strength of his jaw, the thickness of his neck, down his broad chest and thick arms. Power emanated from him, even as he sat there with a dark, knowing expression. His abs bulged and his thighs were thicker than I initially thought they were. He’d be fun to play with. Especially with the dusting of black hair across his chest and the trail that led from his belly button down below his underwear. Standing before me was a man I didn’t recognize anymore and yet did at the same time. His thirties was doing wonders to his body.
Forcing myself out of the precarious daydream, I knelt before him, trying to keep my attention on the line across his stomach. Foster was right, it was only a deep scratch if anything. It practically highlighted his abs, accentuating the valleys between each muscle.
I took my time, cleaning the wound.
“Leave it uncovered,” Foster said, grabbing my wrist when I went to apply a bandage to it.
“What if it gets infected?”
“Josie, my body may not be as durable as yours, but a scratch isn’t going to kill me. Besides, I still need to give you a bath.” He broke out into a smirk.
I snorted, collecting everything and putting it away. Foster got the water running and was going through the bubble options when I turned to face him. Without looking up, his eyes narrowed in concentration, he said, “Get naked for me, Josie.”
My body heated. Foster’s voice had been so deep and smooth when he spoke. He was doing his best to pretend that he was unaffected by what we were doing, trying to focus on the bubbles, but we both knew it was a lie.
Nervously, I stripped down. Fear clawed at my stomach as I piled the clothes on the bench Foster had sat on. I felt his eyes on me, and my stomach tightened, but not in the delicious way it did when sex was on the table. No, this was something scarier than that kind of vulnerability. I was revealing a part of myself that I had kept hidden, and Foster would demand answers.
Still, I walked over and grabbed Foster’s outstretched hand. He helped me into the hot water, bubbles foaming all around. Once I sat down, Foster still didn’t say anything as he shut off the water and began wetting my body with a loofa, gentle with his touch.
He tipped me back, holding me up as he wet my hair. Once he was done, he pulled me back to a sitting position. It was wonderfully sweet with how slow and gentle he worked. Every touch and movement was done with a soothing intent that clenched at my heart. He put shampoo into my hair, massaging my scalp, and finally he spoke, his voice filled with pain.
“I thought fae don’t scar.”
“We don’t,” I answered.
“Your back says otherwise.”
It was hard to blink through the tears that rose. Leave it to Foster to get me into the mood for crying. “I haven’t always been fae. I was human for about twenty years before Faerie saw something in me and converted me. Those scars are gone. But that one. Faerie left that as a reminder. Shortly after she began the process to change me, I tried to fight back against her.” I let out a bitter chuckle. “I was an idiot, and she made sure I knew it. That scar is a reminder of that moment.”
Foster made a choking noise, and I glanced away, not wanting to see his expression at that moment. “Turn around.”
I didn’t say anything as I did so, giving him back, giving him the full view.
His finger touched the ruined skin. I jumped at the touch, not having expected it. He traced the scar. It started below my shoulder blade, slanted down toward my spine before veering away toward my ribs.
“How?”
I closed my eyes, the memories of that particular moment slamming into me. “Faerie was curious about what kind of coupling would occur between a born fae and a made fae. I fought back. Lost, but I fought back, trying to go against Faerie.”
“Did he still touch you?”
“Foster, do you really want me to answer that?”
Silence was his response. The tears fell as my throat tightened.
“You mentioned the scars from your human years are gone.” Foster’s voice was thick with emotion. “What kind of scars?”
“Do you really want to have this conversation?”
“Please.” Foster leaned forward and kissed my neck. “Please. I was Special Forces, remember. I know the depravity that has happened out there to women. Please, don’t let me use my imagination. My mind is too cruel and will not be kind.”
I flicked at the bubbles for a moment before deciding to give him something. “It didn’t scar because I was already fae, but it was a bad wound at the time. It started at my spine and dipped down to my ass. If I hadn’t been fae, I probably wouldn’t have been capable of walking again.
“How?”
“When Faerie realized I would not do well as a plaything in that way, she gave the fae permission to add me to their games instead.”
“Tell me about them, those games?”
“There isn’t much to tell. I guess that was when it really began, the twisting of my existence. I lost a lot, but then I began winning. The more I won, the more I was rewarded, and then one day Faerie got it in her head that I was sent to her to do more than just be a game piece.”
“And that was when she made you queen?”
“Yes, but before then, I had to do a lot as a human and as a fae. The things I did as a human still hit me harder than the things I have done as a fae. And while the things I did as a fae were far worse, it’s the things I did as a human that keep me up at night.”
“Like what?” Foster asked in a soft voice.
He had me tip my head back as he rinsed out my hair. I kept talking through it all. Foster opened floodgates and now everything was coming out.
“There was a human woman. We had kind of become each other’s support for a time. She was another one taken, came in after I did. A tentative friendship formed between us. They tossed us into a room together. It was full of all kinds of weapons. Said only one of us could come back out. I made sure I did. I didn’t want to, but I did. She came after me with a blade. I fought back and won.”
“You survived, Josie. And I’m grateful that you did. You wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t.”
“But I had to give up so much to do it. You saw me. You saw what I can do.”
“I saw a woman protecting what she saw as hers.” Foster grinned. “And I am more than glad that you claimed me as such.”
He didn’t say anything as he did my conditioner. I closed my eyes, hyper focusing on his gentle touch.
“The army is the same,” he said in a low voice. “We sign up, go on and on about honor and protecting our country. But it’s dark out there in the world. The trafficking, the torture, the blatant disregard of human life. See enough of it, and it twists you. I get it, not in the sense of what fae can do, but in the sense of how surviving in extreme situations fuck you up.” He cleared his throat as his words grew gruffer. “That sometimes, there is no right choice, only what you need to do to continue living.”
“What happened?” I asked, sensing there was more.
He didn’t respond right away, instead focusing on my hair. “Too many hard decisions. What do you do when a young boy comes at you with a bomb? How do you face off with child soldiers? Or with victims so completely destroyed that you know they aren’t going to make it out of the area, and they are begging you to save them. That you know you can’t take them if you wish to survive, but also that they won’t survive even if you take them. Or when they ask you to end them. The lines blur, the decisions impossible. They try to prepare you, but it’s impossible to know what is going to happen when you get out there in the world. I searched for you in the darkest corners of our world, and I found more than I knew existed, and all of them have left their own scars. I get it. I feel no more human than you do. Yours is much more physical, but neither of us can look at ourselves in the mirror anymore. I cannot hate you for what you did to those fae because you saved people. You put them in their place. Could we have taken them out and got them into jail? Sure. But if you didn’t do what you did, there was no telling what kind of damage they would have done once they were in custody. Our world is not equipped with dealing with fae. I imagine in normal circumstances, the fae community would have stepped up, but this was too public for normal procedures. You will never scare me, Josie. We all have a little darkness in us, some more than others. For people with pasts like ours, we have more.”
“I scare me,” I whispered.
“You know, I scare myself too. We know how violent we can be, and we end up scaring ourselves.” Foster leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “But no matter what you do, or who you think you are, you are still my Josie.”
I hummed at his words, liking the way they made me feel human and normal. Needing more of it, I didn’t question myself as I yanked on him, pulling him over the tub and into the warm water with me.
He chuckled as water sloshed everywhere, going over and splattering against the tile floor.
“Let me touch,” I asked. “I need to touch you.”
“I already told you, you can touch me all you want. You don’t even have to ask. I will never say no to you.”
I wrapped my hand around his neck and climbed on top of him, claiming his mouth with mine. The taste of him ignited the flames within me. I burned for him, needing to feel his touch to calm me down. Moaning, I swept my tongue into his mouth as I practically melted into him.
Roughly, I pushed down his boxers until he sprang free, hard and ready already. Nothing about what we did was pretty. We were wild for each other, desperate for the other’s touch.
I was slick and ready as I wrapped my legs around his waist and pulled him closer. He moaned as I ground against his hard member. One of his arms went around me, holding me to him, the other gripping the side of the tub.
“Shit, Josie. Are you sure?”
“If you don’t fuck me, I will find someone else. I need it. I desperately need this.” I traced his jaw with my fingers, wanting to ingrain the feel of him into my memory. “Please. Please.”
Foster fixed his grip, changing it to my thigh so he could line himself up and then pushed me down. Hard.
I moaned, loving the feel of him inside of me, the way he filled me up. He paused only for a moment before pumping. We adjusted just enough to hit deep within me. My orgasm built as my lower stomach tightened. So close. I was so impossibly close so quickly. This was exactly what I needed. Wanting to feel all of him, I ran my hands over his shoulders, feeling the tension in them.
Foster hit that one spot inside of me that nearly burst me open right then and there. I dug my nails into his skin, needing purchase as he found a rhythm that hit that same spot over and over, the warm water around us splashing as we moved. My magic skittered all around, unable to remain leashed. My entire body burned with awareness.
“Josie,” Foster moaned, head tilted back. “Fuck, you feel good.”
I leaned down and bit his jaw, trying to hold on longer. If I could, I’d want to feel him forever.
Needing to drive Foster crazy, I squeezed him as I quickened our pace. I held on to the edge of the tub as we worked in tandem.
“More,” I gasped, loving how deep he was inside of me. I squeezed around him again, pulling a groan from him as I bounced on him. My nipples were hard, begging for attention. Foster wrapped an arm around my back, pulling me closer as he took a nipple into his mouth, sucking. When he bit hard enough to cause a slight sting, I practically came right then and there.
All of me tensed as my orgasm peaked. Foster did a move with his hips that had him hitting that sweet spot one final time, and I came hard around him. He groaned, his own release filling me. All of me floated, for once feeling alive.
Foster was staring up at me with a goofy smile when I opened my eyes.
“What?” My voice came out husky.
“Nothing. I missed this.”
“Random sex in the tub?” I giggled.
“Feeling you,” he corrected. “Though the bathroom sex is always good too. Only embarrassing sometimes.”
I snorted, remembering those moments very well. They were the kind of memories that kept me from falling into the pit of despair.
Foster tried to get out, but I grabbed on to him.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
I looked down, a bit embarrassed. “I’m not ready to let you go. I like this intimacy. I want more.”
Foster kissed me briefly before pulling away with a wide grin. “Then I’ll make sure you have it. But you need to let me out first. The water is getting cold. And we should probably rinse off at least before getting out.”
We managed to get out of the tub and tried to make it to the bed. We never did as he slammed me against the wall, claiming my lips, hands roaming all over my body.
“The bed has to be somewhere,” he mumbled against me.
We tried to walk and only stumbled, causing me to giggle.
“I can’t wait,” I said. “I don’t care. Just fuck me right here.”
Foster didn’t say anything. He pushed me against a dresser. I winced as the edge dug into me.
“Fuck.” Foster pulled away and closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. “I feel like I’m nineteen again.”
“Me too,” I admitted. That was when we had made love for the first time.
“Turn around,” he said. “Hold on to the dresser.”
I did.
Foster moved my legs so they were wider apart before he pressed his entire body against my back. I moaned as he lifted my leg up and slipped inside of me.
“Damn.” I gasped, feeling the entire length of him as he went impossibly deep inside of me, reminding me why we had enjoyed this position in the past.
We got lost in the primal feel of him driving hard into me from behind, one hand cupping my breast while his other gripped my ass, fingers digging in. I pushed into him, needing to feel more of him as he increased his pace, grunting with each thrust. I loved all of it, the feel of him in me, his hands on me, the sound of our skin slapping together, the smell of sex in the air.
“Josie,” he gasped out. The way he said my name made it clear that he was close. He released my ass and reached around to play with that little bundle of nerves, making sure I found my release. Once I finally came, he did too.
I rested my head against the cool dresser, leaning into it as I waited for my legs to be able to hold my weight. Tingles kept thrumming through me and I knew I could go another round. Foster rubbed my lower back, down my ass, and then back up again.
I was about to tell him maybe we’d make it to the bed this time before the next round when a throat clearing grabbed our attention.
Feeling too good to care about the interloper, I turned my head to see Jason and Waylon standing in the door. Jason was in the front, his hand on the frame, clearly restraining himself, Waylon almost hidden behind him. What I saw in both their eyes lit my body on fire all over again, their intense need for me clear.
I dipped my gaze down to Jason’s pants, taking note of the clear bulge there. When I licked my lips, someone made a low sound, almost like a growl.
“Well, I have to admit, I feel a little disappointed that I wasn’t invited,” Jason finally said in a husky voice.
“Shut the fuck up,” Waylon said, the need gone now, replaced with a deep frown.
“Right. Not the point. We should chat. Heard about what happened earlier today. We should probably talk about what needs to be done to prevent it. We’ll let you guys put some clothes on.” Jason’s gaze ran over my body. “Meet us downstairs.” With that, Jason turned around, pushing Waylon out with him as they left us there.
I frowned, staring at the door. “Waylon’s upset.” And he should have been. It was clear he had a happy reaction to seeing me, but it was one he couldn’t have when he was still dating Sofia.
“He’s upset about the increasing danger. Come on, Jason’s right. We should talk about options before this gets bigger than we can deal with.”
