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It took Bright over an hour to clear the bird shit off the car roof and it still wasn’t as perfect as his dad would normally have expected it. He was tugging the car cover over the top of it when Klaus wandered up the drive carrying half a dozen mesh bags, full of oranges.
‘What on earth are you going to do with all of those?” Bright asked. “Start up a juice stand at the gate?”
Klaus looked at him like he was a bit simple. “Not ev- eryone can afford fruit, you know,” he told Bright as if the
answer was obvious. Perhaps he was planning a stand? He followed his dad up the drive.
“Shall I put the jug on?” Klaus offered, manoeuvring past a large object in his doorway.
“What the hell?” Bright said, stepping around folded cardboard packaging. “Dad, why do you have a huge throne blocking your doorway?” The chair was massive, the width of two regular chairs, with a tall back covered in red velvet, with gold ornate carvings of vines and berries around the edges and feet. “Where did you get this?”
Klaus put the oranges on the bench and started making tea. Bright wasn’t sure if he was purposely ignoring him, or hadn’t even registered the chair was there.
“Milk and sugar?” Klaus asked.
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He took the packaging from the chair up to the dumpster, folding the cardboard and foam paper to minimise it. As he put down the lid, something brushed up against his leg, mak- ing him jump. He may also have let out a little high-pitched squeak, but since no one but the orange cat beside him had heard, he didn’t think it counted. Thank God, it’s the cat, he thought. Bright did not do well with rodents.
“Hello, buddy,” Bright said, reaching down slowly, dan- gling his fingers and letting the cat get used to him. He gave his head a careful pat. The cat purred and wound himself around Bright’s legs. “Did you find your bowl?” Bright asked.
“Come on, let’s go fill it up.” He started walking slowly to- wards his office, the cat trailing behind him. “Good boy, you want some nice bikkies, don’t you?” he said, aware that he was doing that stupid voice people did with kids and animals. “Who are you talking to?” Mary said behind him, and he did another jump, and possibly a little squeak, although he thought he might be able to pass that off as the cat. Except
the cat had disappeared, he realised.
“Hi, Mary, right, yes ... I was actually trying to trap the stray cat that’s lurking around. Take it down to the SPCA or something. It’s a ratty old thing.”
Mary looked horrified. “Bright, you can’t take an old cat down there, especially at this time of year. They’ll put it down. No one will want to adopt an old cat when it’s kitten season. You’d be signing its death warrant.”
“Right, no, you’re probably right,” Bright said, feeling like a jerk. “He’s gone again in any case. Your hair looks nice, by the way.”
It did. It was a sort of purple colour and he liked it even better than the pink.
“Thanks,” Mary said, sounding surprised. “I thought I may as well join all the oldies with their blue rinses.”
“Well, you certainly don’t look like an old lady,” Bright said, then felt a bit embarrassed. “Are we still on for tonight?” “Yes, I’m looking forward to it.” There was a beeping sound from her pocket and she pulled out a pager. “Oh, it’s Bets.
She likes to check that her emergency alarm is working.”
“How often does she do that?”
“Usually once a month or so, but this is the second time since Ada died. I normally call and we chat for a bit once I as- sess that she doesn’t need help, but she’s nearby so I might pop in.” She put the pager back into her pocket. “I’ll see you later then?”
“Yes, okay,” he said as she took off across the lawn. She was in a pair of pale-yellow overall shorts, her legs bare. She had a tattoo on her left ankle, but she was walking too fast for him to tell what it was. He was staring at her legs again, he realised, pulling himself together and heading into his office.
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After half a dozen calls, he finally managed to get hold of a locksmith who could come later in the week, and arranged to meet him at Klaus’s. He was sorting through emails when his phone, which had mysteriously reappeared on his desk after the cinema incident, lit up with a call. It was Bern.
“You won’t believe who I ran into,” his brother said. “Tif- fany Cooper.”
“Really? What did she look like?”
“As hot as ever. And she’s single. And — you are going to love me for this — I led her your way.” Tiffany had been the most popular girl at their high school, mainly due to her gorgeous long blonde hair and ample chest. “She’s a physiotherapist now. I bumped into her at the kids’ nativity
play. She’s got an eight-year-old kid, a boy, I think. Anyway, she’s broken up with her partner and she’s planning to move home, get a job, all that stuff. I said she should contact you to see if you had any work.”
“Right, well, we already have a physio, but I’ll ask around,” Bright said. He could ask Mary if she knew of any jobs, he thought.
“I only said that so she’d come and see you,” Bern told him. He had the same tone as Klaus, Bright thought, as if he was a bit thick. “You could ask her out, finally fulfil our teenage fantasies.”
“Ah, right, yes. Thanks.” For some reason, Bright didn’t feel all that hyped up about the idea. He tried to conjure up some enthusiasm. Tiffany had been lovely. Just his type re- ally, but all he could think about was Mary, and that tattoo.
“Well, you don’t sound that keen,” Bern said. “Are you see- ing someone?”
Bright thought about his date tonight. Only it wasn’t re- ally a date, was it?
“No?” he said, but it sounded more like a question.
Bern made a snorting sound. “That sounds interesting.” There was a crashing noise and then the sound of a kid wail- ing. “Fudge. Hang on, Bri.” Bright could hear a faint crunch- ing sound and then a lot of tears before Bern came back. “Sorry, the bloody Christmas tree has mysteriously fallen over again, I’ll have to go.” Bright had the urge to tell Bern about Mary and her tree, how they’d decorated it together.
“All right, talk later?” he said instead.
“Yep. By the way,” Bern added, “I had the weirdest dream last night — you had a pet elf called Buddy that you were secretly keeping in your pocket.”
Bright laughed. “I was probably just happy to see you,” he said.
Bern made a gagging noise. “Tell that to Tiffany Cooper,” he said.
CHAPTER 27