XXI.

When I learn I am pregnant with a girl, I feel almost giddy at the thought of teaching her what no one taught me about Black hair:

1.  Never take a brush to it.

2.  Don’t shampoo too often.

3.  Condition condition condition.

4.  Wet it, and rake through it with fingers or a wide-toothed comb.

5.  Use leave-in conditioner to bring out smooth ringlets.

6.  Once set, don’t you dare touch it until it dries.

I will not let you look like a tumbleweed.

I will not let your hair pouf in humid air.

I will not give you a hairstyle high school boys will tease.

I will buy every single product you need.

It will be my job—my joy—to help you achieve the self-acceptance that eluded me until midlife.

I vow to my unborn daughter: Baby, your mother will get it right.