What Motivates You to Save Money
Now that we’ve explored why we spend money the way we do, let’s talk about its opposite: why we save (and don’t save) money. Like we talked about in part 1, people are naturally either savers or spenders. You natural savers may not think you need this section of the book. But hold tight—there’s more to saving than you might think. And spenders, I promise this won’t be a boring chapter on saving. It’s actually going to set you up to spend money on the things you really value.
A lot of us think about saving all wrong. It feels boring or like a burden, an added expense you can’t afford, or something that stands in the way of what you want right now. We forget that saving money is actually a joy. You get to save a portion of every dollar you make for yourself and your future! Aside from saving up your emergency fund, when you’re saving, you’re typically saving for one of your dreams: something you want to experience or buy or do. Seeing your savings account grow—knowing all that money is going toward something you want—is actually a lot of fun! So why is it that so many of us miss this? Because we don’t understand the connection between saving and dreaming.
That’s why in this chapter on saving, we’re going to do something you might not expect: We’re going to talk about how you dream. Because how you dream has everything to do with how you save.
The Connection between Saving and Dreaming
We all have excuses or reasons why we don’t save. I hear them all the time in my work. Let’s look at the most common reasons for not saving and what’s really at the root of them all:
1. You don’t make enough money.
2. You spend more than you earn.
3. You’re weighed down by debt.
4. You grew up in a money classroom that makes saving seem impossible or unimportant.
Do any of these sound familiar? Do you struggle to make ends meet each month, let alone put savings away for an emergency? Is savings even on your radar? These reasons can sound reasonable, but let’s take a closer look at what’s really going on.
One of my friends grew up in the Unaware Classroom. Her parents never talked about the importance of saving money, so she never worried about doing it. She had made a decent salary as a writer her entire career, but after a decade, she had nothing to show for it—no savings at all. Then one day she had a medical emergency that put her thousands of dollars in debt. She didn’t know that could even happen until those bills started rolling in. As she faced the reality of what it would take to dig her way out of debt, she knew two things: Her ignorance about not saving was costly, and she never wanted to be in that position again. That’s when she realized she needed a plan for her money.
If you’re reading this book and don’t have any savings, know you’re not the only one. Forty-seven percent of Americans have less than $1,000 saved for an emergency.25 But also know that not having any savings is a warning sign for two big problems. The first problem is that your house isn’t in order. You’re not prepared. Even if things appear to be going well, if you don’t have a plan for your money that includes savings, it’s only a matter of time before the unexpected hits and you have a major problem. Life is going to throw you some curve balls: a medical emergency, job loss, the air-conditioning unit goes out, a storm damages your home, you hit a deer on the way to work. Having an emergency fund isn’t optional. At some point you’re going to need one. If you don’t have any savings today, the time to get your house in order is right now.
But not having savings is also a warning sign of a second problem: that you’re not tuned in to your dreams. Most people don’t think about how deeply connected saving and dreaming are. But if you’re not saving, it means you’re not working toward any of your dreams. You’re likely just floating from job to job and city to city instead of steadily working toward something meaningful. And when that happens, it’s usually because you have no clue what your dreams are. It’s also possible that you might be saving a little here and a little there, but it’s going to take tapping into your dreams to see real progress.
Dreams are actually crucial to your financial life because they help you see what you value and motivate you to save for the long haul. Unless you’re a die-hard saver, saving for the sake of saving isn’t meaningful. But when you really, truly want something, no one can stop you from saving for it and working hard to make it happen. If you want to live out your retirement dreams, you’ll happily put away 15 percent of your income each month. If you care deeply about fighting poverty in your city, you’ll find more ways to cut your expenses so you can donate regularly. If you dream of adopting a child, you’ll sacrifice for years to bring them home. Why? Because saving gives you the freedom to follow your dreams.
Dreamers and Realists
Now that you know why dreams are so important for saving money, we need to dig into the way you’re naturally wired to dream. When it comes to dreaming, we tend to fall into two camps: You’re either a dreamer or a realist.
The Saving Scale
As always, neither is good or bad—they’re just different. One friend described the difference between a dreamer and a realist as the difference between a train conductor who sets the course for where the train is going and the engine that pulls the cargo and passengers to the right place. A dreamer is the train conductor, while a realist is the engine that gets the train where it’s supposed to go. And both are very necessary to get anywhere!
Dreamers
Dreamers are the kind of people who have five new business ideas a day. They’re typically abundance-minded people, always willing to try new things. They’re the visionaries. They often think about the future and resist the idea that there are limits to what they can do. They think in terms of the big picture rather than focusing on details or executing what needs to be done in order for their dream to happen. If most of these statements sound like you, you’re probably a dreamer.
Dreamers, we need you in this world! That said, there are some things you need to be aware of. First, you can’t hang out in Dreamer Land all the time. If you do, none of those amazing plans and ideas you have will ever actually happen. You need to bring those ideas down from the clouds and work on them.
Dreamers, you also have to accept that not every idea you have is a good one. I can say this because I’m a dreamer. You’re my people! I get you! It requires some humility and maturity to know which ideas are worth pursuing. I have heard more than one woman say, “My husband wants to quit his job to start up this new business, and I think it’s a crazy idea!” Then the wife seems like a Debbie Downer because she’s not super supportive—and that’s just because she’s thinking about all the details it will take and money it will cost to get there.
One woman told me her husband wanted to borrow $200,000 to open a sandwich shop. He had no business plan and no track record of understanding how to run a restaurant. To most everyone, the whole idea sounded foolish. In this situation, the wife wasn’t a Debbie Downer—she was a lifeguard. She saved both of them from making a massive financial mistake that would take years to recover from.
I’m the dreamer in our marriage. I’ll be thinking about the future and within five minutes of daydreaming want to book a quick weekend trip on a whim. The dream of getting out of town and doing something spontaneous is so exciting to me. I’ll start brainstorming and look into places to rent and activities we can do, only to come out of that dream state to realize I’ve spent time planning a trip we don’t need to take with money we don’t need to spend. But as a dreamer, those ideas come fast and furious and usually all sound great to me in the moment.
Dreamers and Saving
When it comes to saving, some dreamers will find it easy because they’re so committed to their dream. They love their dream so much that they’re willing to do anything to work for it—even if it takes two years to save up to buy the tools they need to start a business or to earn a degree to make the new career happen. The more committed you can be to your dream, the easier it will be to do the hard work of achieving it.
But because dreamers are in the clouds a lot (because it’s so fun to hang out there!), saving money can also be very challenging. One of the main reasons is because dreamers often don’t want to wait. They see their dream in all its glory and want to dive in now. Stopping to patiently save to make it happen seems impossible. But dreamers, you have to be willing to accept that dreams take time. Be the tortoise, not the hare! The most meaningful things often take years or decades to build. Refusing to accept this will only limit your progress.
It can also be hard for dreamers to save because they have fifteen new ideas every day—and all of them need to be saved up for. But dreamers, you need to keep in mind you only want to pursue the right ideas. So how do you know which ones to work on? A strong indicator for me is to pay attention to the ideas that keep coming up. If the same idea continues to pop up, there’s usually a reason. Time is another helpful tool in knowing which ideas to pursue, so write down the ideas you have. Whether it’s a dream of what school to send your kids to, wanting to adopt, a business idea, anything! Then don’t look at the list for a couple of weeks, and come back to it fresh. If it still excites you, maybe that’s your cue to start moving toward making it a reality. It’s so important to balance your dreamer personality with maturity and patience.
Realists
Realists don’t tend to have a thousand ideas or dreams a day. But when they have an idea, it’s usually well-thought-out because they naturally put a lot of energy into figuring out the how. An idea is presented, they think about it, evaluate it, and see it’s a good idea. They get real practical, real quick. How is this going to get done? What needs to happen? How much money do they have to make it possible? How can they do it for less? How long will it take? What information do they need to gather? How do they get help with this? If you tend to look at the details and stay grounded in reality, you’re probably a realist. The gift of being a realist is that in many ways, it’s easier for you to make a life you love a reality because you’re a pro at executing your ideas.
The key for realists, however, is to remember to allow dreams the room to breathe. As a realist, you’ve probably had some wild dreams of your own that you shut down by thinking, That’s ridiculous! I’ll never be able to pull that off. If your own dream or the dream someone else has doesn’t seem realistic the moment you hear it, resist shutting it down immediately. Remember that dreams usually don’t appear fully formed. They need work. They need expertise. They need the help of a realist!
As a realist, also understand that you can seem like the killer of all dreams to a dreamer. There’s a chance you’ve gotten in the habit of automatically saying no to any idea the dreamer in your life has. You easily see how this idea is going to happen (or not happen), but your quick assessment can unintentionally hurt your dreamer. They can start to doubt themselves or feel like you don’t believe in them. Like I said before, there’s a good chance the idea isn’t worth pursuing—but you don’t want to crush their spirit. So use your powers for good. Be curious. Ask questions. You can be the lifeguard and kind and encouraging. And realists, remember that not every dream is unwise. Some really are worth investing in!
Realists and Saving
You might think that all realists would naturally be great at saving, but that’s not true. The hard part of saving for some realists is that they get overwhelmed and discouraged. They do the math and realize they have to save $600 a month in order to save up the $7,000 needed for that dream European vacation they want to take in a year. Because they’re realists, it just seems like too much—too much money and too much time with too many other competing priorities to juggle. If this is you, remember to take a deep breath. Bill Gates said, “Most people overestimate what they can do in one year and underestimate what they can do in ten years.” You can’t do it all at once, but you can prioritize what’s most important and do one thing at a time. You’ll be surprised by how much you can accomplish over time with steady focus.
Other realists love to save. It’s especially easy for them to save for emergencies because they’re always thinking things through, understanding that what can go wrong probably will. The same principle applies to their dreams: Realists can be committed to their dream, have a detailed plan, put it in the budget, and stick to it. They can be wonderfully patient and steadfast as they watch their savings grow. If this is you, lean into this strength of yours. Get more disciplined in it. It will serve you well as you work toward your goals.
Wherever you fall on the dreamer versus realist scale, keep in mind that even though you have a natural tendency for one or the other, we all have to do both tasks. Just like the other scales, your goal here is moderation. We all need to spend time dreaming, and we all need to spend time making a plan for how to accomplish those dreams. We’ll talk in chapter 11 about ways to dream and plan, but I want to encourage you to keep working at doing both better. Dreamers, remember: The ideas that keep coming back to you are not by accident. You’ve probably had plenty of dreams that didn’t happen—and now you’re really grateful for that! But pay close attention to the ones that keep coming back up again and again. Those are the ones you want to work. Realists, use your strength of being grounded and realistic to your advantage! But don’t forget to actually dream about the kind of life you want to create and allow those ideas to breathe and grow. Don’t settle for how you’ve always done it. Be aware of how you’re wired, but also keep learning and growing from others.
What Stops Us from Dreaming
Just like there are reasons we don’t save, there are also reasons we don’t dream. Before we explore the different types of dreams that will help you save for what matters most to you, I want us to think about what stops us from dreaming. This is really important because our dreams aren’t coincidental or random—our dreams are part of why we’re living on this earth. I see three big things that keep us from dreaming and saving: the daily grind, the naysayers, and trauma.
The Daily Grind
If you’re like me, sometimes you look back at the past week and think, What just happened? A lot of days can be a blur. I wake up, maybe have a few minutes of quiet time, and then the kids are up and wanting breakfast. I’m trying to get out the door on time—doing my hair with one hand while putting one girl in her high chair and grabbing cereal for the other one. Then it’s time to pack lunches and finish my makeup before kissing them goodbye. I drive to work to attend meetings and, hopefully grab a quick sandwich for lunch. I look up, and it’s time to drive back home.
I rush to get dinner ready, all while trying to entertain hungry kids. I get everyone to the table—then try to keep everyone at the table. We clean up the kitchen and run baths for the kids. One baby runs out of the bathroom and sprints naked through the house. (Never fails!) So we run to get them and wrestle pajamas on. Then it’s time to tuck them in—which, as every parent knows, is a wild card. Some nights are effortless, while others take an hour before they get to sleep. After all that, Winston and I fall back on the couch thinking, Finally! Then it’s off to bed to catch up on our day and maybe read or watch our favorite show . . . and before I know it, the alarm sounds and we start again.
Now, I’m not complaining! Winston and I have precious, wonderful moments with our kids—but, man, life with little ones can be exhausting. Babies and toddlers just equal physical exhaustion for me. I’ll probably look back at these words in a few years and smile because, as we know, life changes and time flies. Before I know it, Winston and I will have teenagers in the house. Our highs and lows will be oh-so different. But today our daily routine is full and demanding, and if we’re not careful, it can distract us from dreaming and really living.
Your day-to-day grind might look entirely different, but we all go through seasons when we can get stuck in the routines of life. What you want to watch for is letting time get away from you. You don’t want to look up in two years or ten years and realize you haven’t been dreaming and saving. The daily grind and its pace can be a daily distraction. Author and philosopher Dallas Willard said you want to “ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life.”26 Why? Because hurry distracts us from real living. (Notice he didn’t say busy. Busy is being engaged in something that requires our time or attention. Hurry is going fast.) It’s so easy to get caught up in just surviving the day, rushing from one urgent thing to the next, that you completely miss out on building something sweet and meaningful in life. It’s worth the effort to stop the frenzy and begin to dream again.
If you fall on the realist side, the daily grind could be a place of safety for you. You can accomplish tasks throughout the day, and it feels like success. While those tasks are important, remember to look at the bigger picture of life and not just what’s right in front of you—take some time to dream.
You dreamers out there may lose yourself to dreaming when the daily grind gets stressful or boring. Remember, moderation is key, so make sure to enjoy the life that’s right in front of you while you’re dreaming about the future.
Naysayers
Even though Pinterest is full of cute, encouraging quotes like, “Dream Big!” and “Follow Your Dreams!” (think hearts and rainbows with pretty, cursive writing), many of us are also told our dreams aren’t possible. It can be a parent, teacher, friend, or just someone we look up to. They usually mean well, but their words can stop us dead in our tracks.
Public speaking is part of my job. It has been for well over a decade, and it all started with a not-so-typical job while I was in high school. As a teenager, I would travel around with my dad on the weekends to different cities across America. At the time, he held these events on Saturdays, and they would be packed with anywhere from 5,000 to 12,000 people. These were all-day events, teaching people how to handle their money.
During that time, someone at the company had the idea for me to go out on stage and pitch the kids’ products we had. They thought hearing from Dave Ramsey’s youngest daughter would be encouraging to parents as they thought about how to teach their own children how money works. I initially resisted the idea, thinking there was no way I could get up in front of that many people. My sister and brother and I grew up working the book tables at these events. Being at the events was pretty normal, but going on stage was a totally foreign idea.
But a few more people got wind of the idea, and after some encouragement, I agreed to do it. With some help, I wrote out a quick, five-minute talk. It covered everything from a “Top Ten” list on how tough it was to be Dave Ramsey’s daughter to why it’s important to teach kids about money—and the chore charts and money envelopes we used as Ramsey kids were so helpful in making the money lessons stick. I practiced and practiced for the first event of the season. It was in Spokane, Washington, and there were about 6,000 people in the audience that day.
Standing side stage, about to be introduced, I was as nervous as you would imagine a 15-year-old would be. But I walked out there, did my five-minute talk, and felt such relief and even enjoyment as the supportive audience laughed at my jokes in spite of my voice shaking. I remember walking offstage with so much adrenaline. I couldn’t believe I had just done something I thought was impossible—and not just done it, but actually had fun.
Right as I walked off the stage, one of the guys who had coached me for the event came over to me, and I’ll never forget the first thing he said to me: “You talked really fast.” Not, “You did it! Great first try!” Nothing about being courageous for facing 6,000 adults as a teenager. Just, “You talked really fast.” It was a simple sentence, but at that moment, my heart sank and I suddenly became very self-conscious. I remember thinking maybe I hadn’t done a good job after all and felt myself tear up. His words stung deeply.
The reality is, this happens to all of us. We want to take a risk and try something new, but the words of others can destroy our courage to keep going. As I stood side stage, reeling from this guy’s words, others began to come up to me. They were smiling and cheering for me and spoke encouraging words. But what if I had only listened to the negative words? What if I had let that one comment dictate the rest of my life? The truth is, I probably did talk too fast. My first attempt at public speaking wasn’t perfect—but that didn’t mean I should give up. And the same is true for you. Don’t let the voices of other people—or a hurtful, discouraging experience—stop you from pursuing your dreams.
Naysayers aren’t always external voices either. We can do it to ourselves—and it’s probably more damaging than anything anyone else could ever say to us. I have had to work through that internal voice at work, as a wife, and as a mom. When I feel like I’m not measuring up or that my dream is impossible, it’s easy to get stuck in that cycle of “naysaying” myself. As you give yourself permission and space to dream, you may hear a voice in your head that says, You don’t need that. You’re being greedy. Don’t be selfish. Or you may hear, There’s no way you can do that! It’s too big of a dream. You’re being ridiculous. You will never have the money to do that. Let’s address that voice.
This voice comes in many forms, but its mission is always to stop us from doing what matters. In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield calls our internal naysayer “Resistance.” He says,
Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance. . . . Have you ever wanted to be a mother, a doctor, an advocate for the weak and helpless; to run for office, crusade for the planet, campaign for world peace, or to preserve the environment? Late at night have you experienced a vision of the person you might become, the work you could accomplish, the realized being you were meant to be? Are you a writer who doesn’t write, a painter who doesn’t paint, an entrepreneur who never starts a venture? Then you know what Resistance is. . . . [Resistance] prevents us from achieving the life God intended when He endowed each of us with our own unique genius.27
Resistance is there every day to keep us from achieving our dreams. And its message is one we can wrongly take to heart, believing it’s true.
“There’s no way I can do that.”
“Saving for that dream is impossible.”
“That’s just crazy. I’ve got to be realistic. My children are depending on me.”
The one solitary goal of Resistance is to keep you from achieving what you’re meant to achieve. If we allow it, our internal voice alone can destroy our chances to create a life we love. You guys, the stakes of not dreaming, of not pursuing what’s important to us, are crazy high. Dreaming isn’t for the faint of heart. When we dream, we’re digging into our very purpose for living. So be alert and stay focused through this process. It’s going to be worth it.
Trauma
Before we move on, let me say something to those of you who have recently experienced trauma or are recovering from past trauma. Maybe you’re going through a divorce, suffered abuse, or someone you dearly love has passed away. Whatever it is—first, I’m so, so sorry. Truly. I cannot imagine how difficult it’s been for you.
If you’ve suffered recent trauma or experienced childhood trauma, dreaming can be difficult to do on your own. But what I find really hopeful is that learning to dream is a skill. And a skill is something anyone can choose to learn over time. Learning to dream is also something that a mental health professional or pastor can help you with. So when you’re able, find a trusted friend or professional to sit with you, in person if possible, and slowly guide you in relearning how to dream.
Also, as you start dreaming again, be prepared for your new dreams to look both the same and different as they did before. If you’ve been dreaming of pursuing a new career for years, you may still want to do that. How you achieve that dream may be different now, but the dream is still the same. Or your priorities may have shifted significantly, and you now realize you don’t want to invest your time and money preparing for that career. It’s okay to let go of old dreams and create new ones. The big idea here is to dream. Don’t stop doing that because of what you’re going through or have gone through. Start small if you need to—just keep dreaming!
Now that you understand the connection between saving and dreaming and know more about your dreamer or realist self, let’s dig into the different types of dreams that reveal what’s most important to you.