How Committed Are You to Winning with Money?

I love being married to Winston Cruze. You guys, I know it sounds sappy—but I do. Being married to him has been one of the most fun and enriching parts of my life. It’s not always rainbows and butterflies, but I wouldn’t trade being his wife for anything.

We had been married five awesome years when we decided to have our first child. So picture this: It’s December. I’m five months pregnant, and Winston and I are at home. Christmas music is playing in the background, and we’re decorating our Christmas tree together—one of my favorite things to do. And all of a sudden, I start crying. Not some dainty, little cry but a full-on mini meltdown.

Obviously concerned, Winston asks, “Babe! What’s wrong?”

Through tears, I tell him I love our life together so much, and I’d just realized this would be our last Christmas just the two of us. I was scared. Having a baby was going to change everything—how we spent our time, what we ate, when we slept, everything! What if giving up our life as we knew it wasn’t worth it in the long run? What if having kids ruined our lives?

Poor Winston!

He sweetly listened to his very pregnant wife and reminded me that next Christmas we’d be celebrating with a sweet baby girl alongside us. We would still be together, and it would be even better because she would be with us. It was all going to be okay. Of course, when Amelia was born a few months later, she stole my heart immediately. I told Winston I honestly would have had her years earlier if I’d known how wonderful she would be! But the point is, no matter how miraculous and wonderful the reason for the change—change can be hard and uncomfortable, even when we know it’s for the best. We usually like things that are familiar even when the unfamiliar would be better.

I hope by this point in the book you’ve had some aha moments about yourself, your money, and your relationships. I hope, like me, you see areas where you’d like to improve how you’re handling your money. But before you rush off to change your life, I want you to raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to change something and it didn’t happen. If you’re raising your hand, you’re in good company. Making a permanent change can be tricky. That’s why the last thing you need to understand is how committed you really are to winning with money—and what to do about it. Because what I don’t want is for you to discover a few interesting things about yourself, but your money and life remain the same.

Committed or Involved

I was talking recently with my dad about behavior change, how some people are totally committed and able to make enormous sacrifices, while some are only involved, testing the water but unwilling to give up their lifestyle. And he reminded me of a parable about a chicken and a pig.

He said, “Rachel, the difference between being involved and being committed is the difference between the chicken and the pig in a bacon-and-egg breakfast: The chicken is involved, but the pig is committed!”

I got a good laugh out of that, but as we think about lasting change, his joke is a perfect picture for how our level of commitment impacts our lives. Take a minute to think about yourself. Is there anything in your life or money you want to change or improve? If there is, how committed are you to really changing? Are you committed or just involved? Once you know this, you’ll begin to see how to get unstuck and start making real progress.

The Commitment Scale

The committed side of the scale is all in—1,000 percent! No matter how many hurdles you face, no one can stop you. You jump off the high dive and cannonball into the deep end. You stick to the Baby Steps like glue because you believe in them wholeheartedly. The involved side of the scale is interested—but more as a spectator or someone conducting a temporary experiment. You’re trying out parts of an idea without completely buying in. You’re dipping your toe in the water. This is the “ish” side: You do the Baby Steps on an “ish” basis, meaning you’re only doing it halfway.

Where you fall on this scale is important because there’s a direct connection between how committed you are to change and how quickly you’ll see real, permanent results in your life. The more deeply you’re committed to the Baby Steps, the faster you’ll win with money and have financial peace. If you’re only involved, it will take you much longer to reach your goals, and you’ll likely wander back into debt over time.

Now, unlike the other scales we’ve looked at in this book, not everyone is even on this one. This scale is only for people who want to take control of their money and are willing to take action. If someone finds the idea of budgeting or living without debt mildly entertaining but has no motivation to change their money situation, they’re neither the chicken or the pig. They’re at the next table over just looking at the breakfast menu. So let’s talk about what committed and involved look like.

What Committed Looks Like

Commitment on this scale is a whole other level. You didn’t wake up here out of the blue one day. Your belief and actions grew stronger over time and now they run deep. This kind of commitment means you’re not straying from your position. You’re doing the Ramsey Baby Steps—not your own version of them—and there is no stopping you. You’re human, so you’ll make a mistake here and there (thank you, grace!), but you recognize it for what it is and get back to the plan as quickly as you can. When you truly commit, the chances of going back into debt are zero.

I love talking to committed people. I was talking with one at a live event recently who shared a little of his story with us. He was $40,000 in debt right out of school when he didn’t make $40,000 a year. Following the Baby Steps, he paid his debt off in under two years and was a millionaire within ten years. At that point he had extra income coming in every month and decided to lease a luxury car for $1,000 a month. Yep, you read that right. It wasn’t long after he leased that car, that he realized he couldn’t stomach it. The problem wasn’t the payments. It was the principle. He just couldn’t drive a car that he went into debt for. He no longer wanted it. He got out of the lease and then paid cash for a used car. Fast-forward another ten years. This guy is now a multimillionaire and drives a nine-year-old truck that he loves and plans to pass down to his daughter when she starts driving.

So what happened to this guy? He committed to the plan, and it changed him. It changed his financial world quickly, but it also changed him over time. The thing that once made him happy doesn’t anymore. If you love cars and you have the money, it’s fine to get a new car. In fact, if you have one million dollars or more, it’s great to buy a brand-new car! That’s not a problem. But what’s funny is that as you’re committed over time to managing your money well, your commitment will change a whole lot more than your money. It will change you.

Are you starting to see how all of this works together? As you spend money for you and not others, as you save in order to go after your dreams, and as you open your hand to share what you have, it changes you. And the more you do these things mindfully over time, the deeper the changes go. It’s very possible to white-knuckle your way through Baby Step 2, digging your family out of debt with blood, sweat, and tears—and five years later wander into a car dealership and finance a new car you can’t afford. Gutting it out only lasts so long. Commitment may start with forcing a change to your behavior, but it will lead you over time to face who you really are. Lasting transformation, the kind where you get out of debt and stay out of debt, comes from the inside out.

Not long ago I got to meet Angela. You might know her as “Debt Kickin’ Mom” on YouTube and Instagram. She recently posted this on Instagram along with a photo of her new couch:

Patience and contentment. Those two words are exactly the opposite of who I was four years ago. I used to be impulsive and always unsatisfied. It was a miserable way to live. I know now that it was rooted in a lot of emotional pain I carried with me from my childhood, but I was paralyzed by it and had no understanding of how to change. When I started the #debtfreejourney, the goal of saving as much money as possible so that we could pay off debt as quickly as possible forced me to be disciplined. It forced me to be accountable to the #budget and ask WHY I had voids in my life that spending money seemed to temporarily fill. . . .

[But today] I’m a new person because . . . we waited almost an entire year since becoming #debtfree to FINALLY buy this dang couch! We saved the money several times, but things would come up and our priorities would change. Our ugly couches seemed so trivial this past year as we faced bigger things in life like a new job, a new car, saving for our retirement and college funds, welcoming a new pet into our home . . . we didn’t need, deserve, or feel entitled to a new couch. It would happen when it happened. . . .²⁹

That’s committed. And that’s what commitment looks like over time: It transforms what you care about. It helps you become content, grateful, and patient. Yes, you spend money differently, but that’s only an outward sign of how you’ve changed on the inside.

Commitment like this doesn’t just change you either. It changes the people around you, your family tree, and those you pass it on to. Committed people can be outrageously generous because they have both the money and the emotional bandwidth to give. When you’re stressed day in and day out, scrambling just to keep your family afloat, it’s nearly impossible to look out and see the needs of others. This isn’t because you don’t have a good heart; it’s because you don’t have the emotional capacity to take care of anyone else. But when your money is in order and there’s an overflow, it’s possible to commit to help. Commitment is powerful, and it changes the world.

If you’re already on the committed side of this scale, don’t forget to keep injecting enthusiasm into your beliefs and habits. This is one of the reasons why continuing to dream and set new goals is so important. It’s also why you’re careful in how you position yourself over time. The guy who leased a luxury car came to our live event because he needed a shot of comradery, to be around like-minded “weird” people. A lot of our Financial Peace University class leaders say they enjoy leading FPU classes because it encourages them too. A number of bloggers say they track their debt-free journey online because of the accountability it gives them. Even my dad says that one of the things he enjoys about his show is that he has 16 million accountability partners. Are these people committed? Oh yeah.

But no one is a robot. I have a few close girlfriends who I can share the struggles and victories Winston and I have. We all need encouragement and community to keep us going for the long haul. Committed people intentionally look for ways to fuel their fire and keep improving.

What Involved Looks Like

Can I tell you one of the things I hate the most? Running. It’s terrible. Like, I hate it with a passion. When it comes to health and fitness, I’m the first to admit I’m fickle. I like to blame it on the fact that the last six years of my life have been pregnancies and babies. Finding the time and motivation to work out has been tough. But when I’m working out, I love it and I’m all in.

Christy Wright, one of our Ramsey Personalities, is one of my best friends and my workout partner. The big difference between me and Christy when it comes to exercise is that she’s a runner. Ever since I met her over a decade ago, she’s run races, triathlons, marathons, half marathons—all the things. She even met her husband in a running group. I mean, of course she did. So Christy has always wanted me to run with her. Several times she’s asked me to run a race with her and I politely decline, usually while laughing so hard that tears are streaming down my face.

The city of Nashville hosts the Rock ‘n’ Roll Marathon every year. It’s a big deal here. A lot of my friends and family run it, and our company usually has a huge presence there. So a few years ago, I realized the marathon would be five days before my thirtieth birthday. I thought, Man, how cool would it be if I ran a half marathon before I turned thirty? Now at that point I probably couldn’t have run a mile without stopping. Running 13.1 miles seemed nearly impossible. But I knew I had the physical capabilities to do it if I trained properly. I just had to find the motivation.

When I decided to run that half marathon, I went straight to the running store to buy running shoes. Can we just talk about how expensive running shoes are? I had no idea! The sales guy may or may not have also talked me into buying running socks. And a few pairs of shorts. And two shirts. And a running belt. I spent a little more than I was expecting, but hey, I was a runner now and I needed running gear! I also called Christy to tell her all about my new goal and how I needed her help to create a running schedule for me and to hold me accountable. She’s a strong personality, so she was going to be a perfect coach for me. She sent me my running schedule the next day, and I honestly could not wait to get started.

The first week of training was exhausting, but I felt like I was accomplishing so much, even if it was just two miles. By the end of the second week, my motivation started to go downhill. And by the end of the third week, well, I hated my life. I was miserable. That third week was my first “long” run—which was six miles—at a park on a Saturday morning. I ran the first loop, a mile, and found myself starting to mentally lose it. I knew I had to run that dang loop another five times, and I was already miserable. I ran one more loop, and as I rounded out the second mile, there in the distance was a sign from heaven. It was like God parted the clouds and a beam of sunlight shone down directly on my car. When I saw my car, everything in me wanted to quit, go home, and be with my family on that Saturday morning.

At this point in the story, I really wish I could say that I mustered up the courage and perseverance to finish that run and then, weeks later, finish the half marathon just before my thirtieth birthday. But nope. That Saturday in the park I ran straight to my car, got in, and went home! I quit! You read that correctly: I quit in the middle of the run. Some of you are thinking, Rachel, no! Successful people don’t quit! But they do! Smart, successful people quit all the time. They quit doing stupid stuff. And I decided for me, running is stupid—and I haven’t regretted that decision once.

I know running is good for you, but listen, I was not committed. The amount of change I would have had to make to my body and my schedule was not worth it to me. I had zero conviction to keep up my training. But did I go to the race as a spectator to cheer other people on? Yes! I was on the sidelines waving and shouting as the runners passed by. I was 100 percent involved—just not committed. Those who committed and finished the race received an award at the end, a feeling of great accomplishment, and a medal. As a spectator, did I accomplish any of those things? Nope. And that’s what being involved means: You’re watching, not winning.

You and I have the option of being a spectator when it comes to things like marathons, but money isn’t a spectator sport. You don’t have the option of watching from the sidelines. You have to handle your money. Your only choice is whether to be passive or proactive about it.

When you’re just involved in your life and money, it’s like you’re sleepwalking your way through. You’re sort of going through the motions, but without focus or passion. Like people who say, “I’m a believer in what you teach, but we’re people who budget . . . ish.” Or, “We try not to be in debt, but we sort of got a car loan last month.” The “ish” mentality holds you back from winning. It slows your progress and your results.

The only way to get an all-in result is to all-out commit for the long haul. So, are you watching or winning? If you’re reading this and “committed” doesn’t describe you, know that you’re not the only one. Most anyone who is now committed to managing their money wisely was once involved—even me. Growing up, I hated budgeting. It wasn’t until Winston and I got married that I really buckled down and fully committed. I always saw budgeting as limiting and restricting. But then I learned that a budget is permission to spend, that there’s so much freedom in living with a plan. I learned being committed is totally worth it—not just because of the progress you make but because of the peace of mind it brings.

If you’re reading this book, I hope you want to move from watching to winning, from involved to committed. But in order to do that, you’re going to have to change. Let’s talk about why and how that happens.

Why Change Occurs

When there’s a change you’d like to make, it’s easy to do one of two things: either dive into change without much thought and fizzle out quickly, or spend so much time thinking about it that you never get started. So let’s look first at why change occurs and then we’ll look at how to make it happen.

At its simplest, change happens when we either want out of a bad situation or into a good one. In either case, a situation arises and compels us to take action. Let’s look at a couple of examples. I talk a lot about people’s sick-and-tired moment—a moment when they realize they can’t continue on as they have been. Their life isn’t working, and they’re just done with the fear and stress.

Remember Angela and her Instagram post about her couch? About four years ago, she realized their family was going down the wrong road. They were on Christmas vacation when Angela got a text message telling her they’d maxed out their last credit card. She was so upset that she couldn’t even sleep. That’s when she sat down and listed out all their debt. She was shocked to discover it was over $77,000! Angela knew then that something had to change.

The next morning, she sat her husband down for a heart-to-heart and showed him the list. Together, they decided to make a radical change. Once they embraced that change, this family of six, living on mostly one income, was able to pay down that consumer debt in under three years. Under three years! Now they’re on Baby Steps 4, 5, and 6 (which you do simultaneously), saving for retirement and college while paying off their house—and they couldn’t be happier. They changed their life because it wasn’t sustainable. Angela’s story is an incredible turnaround, but sick-and-tired moments aren’t always that dramatic. I’ve seen people get fed up and overhaul their money just because they got annoyed paying interest on their credit cards. The situation doesn’t have to be dire—just something you’re sick and tired of.

I’ve also seen people make hard changes because they want something more for their lives. One of our team members was doing well with her budget but realized in the dreaming process that she wanted to move to a different home in a better school district for her kids. She did her research and then sat down with her husband to determine what it would take to make the move happen.

She said later she actually assumed it wouldn’t be possible—but as they talked it through, she discovered it was completely within reach in ten months. It would take some work on their part: They needed to do some repairs on their current home to get it ready to sell, and they needed to tighten their budget to save additional cash—but it was completely doable. Her dream of a long-term home for her kids in good schools was the catalyst for her change.

Whether you’re getting away from a bad situation or going for something new, you’re compelled to take action when the pain of making a change is less than the pain of staying the same.

How Change Occurs

Once you’ve decided to make a change, there are several ingredients you need to make it really stick. If you’re missing an ingredient, it’s not likely to last. I talked to Dr. Cloud about change, and he said there are really three parts to change:

1. Awareness of the problem or issue

2. Staying focused on the issue when it happens in real time

3. Intentionally and repeatedly practicing something different

We’ve done a fair amount of growing in awareness in this book by looking at your personal money mindset and what you do with money and why. By now, you’ve probably identified some ways you want to improve your money habits or change your money mindset. Staying focused on the issue when it happens in real time is where you need to think about and notice what triggers the issue in everyday life. Then you have to intentionally and repeatedly practice something different. That means choosing new behaviors again and again, including getting help from others. I’ll give you an example of what this looks like.

Millions of people have taken control of their money through the help of Financial Peace University (FPU). The reason it’s been so successful is because it contains all three parts to lasting change. People come to the class because they’ve become aware of the issue or are in the process of wanting change. They’ve had their sick-and-tired moment, or they want something better for their life.

They stay focused on their money issues and gain new tools and new ways of doing things—like how to budget using EveryDollar. They make a zero-based budget every month and track their daily spending. They stop overspending. They sell the stuff they don’t need. And they notice and course-correct when they make mistakes.

FPU members also intentionally and repeatedly choose to live differently. Members meet together in small groups with like-minded people in safe, shame-free environments. The people they meet in class are supportive and encouraging. They hold each other accountable and celebrate each debt that gets paid off. They keep talking about money with their spouse or accountability partner. They keep working toward and achieving quick wins, building their motivation and enthusiasm for the long haul. And as they see their finances change over time, those new behaviors become habits. It’s really amazing to watch lasting change happen when all the ingredients are in place.

But that’s what it looks like when it works. What happens when it’s not so easy?