I felt caged. I felt trapped just as I had been when I was held in the basement in Moon Alley. Everything had gone to shit and I didn’t know what to do about it.
The minutes ticked by and I paced and swore. I punched the wall and regretted it instantly. I cried and cursed my fate. And I screamed and trashed my own things until I got it all out of me.
I ran from Darren to protect him. I stupidly believed everything could return to normal.
I couldn’t allow Radu to turn me. It had been something I had looked forward to for so long, something that gave me hope and possibility. Now it terrified me.
I couldn’t kill Darren. I loved Darren. I didn’t know him but somehow I loved him. And even if I didn’t want to love him, even if I resented it, and maybe even hated it, I could not allow myself to be used in bringing about his death.
There was no other option, I decided. I had to leave.
Once I committed to my decision, committed to a plan of action, I felt calmer. I knew what I was going to do, now I just needed the chance to do it.
I waited.
I tore down my curtains and threw open my window. When I heard him howl, that’s when I would run.
I may not make it. In fact, odds were I wouldn’t, but I’d give it my best shot.
I was out of options. The thought of willingly giving myself to Radu made me sick. He had betrayed me. I would probably never forgive him.
I had accepted him as my owner and as my protector. I had believed he would take care of me. In Helanna, such were the way of things.
We bonded through him drinking my blood. He had earned my trust and been inside my head. Radu had been my only friend in this world. And now I had lost that friend.
He would never let me go. Even if I made it to Darren and we made it away from Blood Alley, Radu would pursue us. I hadn’t the faintest idea how we could avoid him. I would just have to solve that problem when we got there.
I gripped the sill and leaned out the window. Darkness was falling. The sun was sinking below the horizon and the sky was painted with streaks of pink and red.
The Alley was beginning to stir. The vampires were rising from their slumbers ready to take on their night. It belonged to them.
He would come. Darren had told me he would.
So far, every night he had howled, tormenting me with his cries. This night wouldn’t be any different. Darren wouldn’t give up on me. Even though I tried to give up on him.
I was counting on Radu not summoning me right away. He was cranky after rising, and it was usually best to avoid him until after he fed. After our encounter earlier today, I knew he would be short on sleep. Oh, I hoped he chose to sleep in.
The last rays of the sun sunk out of existence and full dark settled over the city.
I looked to the moon.
According to Darren, I had the moon to thank for bringing us together.
“Why?” I asked it. “Why me?”
It didn’t answer back.
Surely there had been a better candidate for the Pack Leader’s mate? You couldn’t get any worse than me, the most powerful vampire’s Chosen.
Out of all the women in the city, out of all the females in Darren’s pack, I was picked.
I didn’t understand it but I couldn’t deny the feelings. I could no longer fight them.
I longed for the scruffy brute that tackled me in the diner. The oaf who was so sure we were meant to be together, so sure that I was his.
I yearned to feel desired by him. I had one taste of being wanted and now I was hooked for good.
Just howl, I urged the darkness. Howl and I will come running.
The coldness of this place, of Radu’s attention was seeping into my very bones. I needed my mate to warm me up.
I had thought that sneaking into Moon Alley had been the biggest mistake I had ever made. Now I wondered if the biggest mistake was running from it.
Even if I made it to his arms, we were doomed. But I could accept that.
At least we would be doomed together.
Here, in this place, was only more loneliness.
I had spent so many days here, in this cell of a room, just waiting. Waiting for something to happen. Waiting for Radu to finally turn me. Waiting for my life to truly begin.
What a waste that had been. What had waiting gotten me? A promise that I would be turned not into a respected companion, into an equal, but into a murderous monster that would adore its master.
I shuddered at the thought of becoming Lovely number four, the brunette.
Where was he?
The minutes ticked by, time dragged on, and my anxiousness turned into unease.
He should have come by now, he had promised he would.
I looked to the moon again. If only I could, I would howl for him.
An hour passed, then another.
When the knock landed on my door, I was desolate.
He wasn’t coming. The stubborn man must have finally heeded my words.
And now it was time for my turning.